POV
I stare at the picture my investigator sent me.
For a long while I never get to see that smile. Maybe it's finally the time I'm waiting for.
Did I ever love you wrong?
Am I that suffocating that you needed escape?
Flashback
She stop to catch her breath. So do I, we've been running around playing tag.
"Parang bumalik tayo sa pagkabata. I miss this. Let's do this more often. City suffocates me." I just laugh at her remarks. I love seeing her like this. But she uses that word again. Everytime she's with me.
"Babe, what do you say if you know, work together? Promise pag nasa office strictly professional. No special treatment" She look ate for a while then she diverted her gaze.
"Fine. Strictly business." As soon as sinabi niya yon hindi mawala wala ang ngiti sa labi ko at least now I can see her all day every day.
Hindi pa man tumatagal ang ngiti ko ay parang agad niya naman itong binawi. "Let's go. I'm feeling suffocated I need water and change of clothes."
I just nod at her. She said it again.
8 Months passed and everything went smoothly. We decided to live together.
Not until we fought about her leaving the company. Says she wanted something new. I didn't agree of course. She left the house and didn't come back for a week.
I look for her in every place I could possibly think, but no luck.
When she cameback, I thought it was all in the past. Not until, she saw my secretary sleeping in my office which partly is my fault because I didn't mind it since I have a meeting outside.
Of course, we fought again and that ended her leaving the house.
I just felt I spent all my patience I decided to get a drink rather than look for her. I found myself at the bar.
The next morning I woke up in another woman's bed naked. I was more shocked when I saw who it is.
We talked. We promised not to say any words about it to anyone.
3 months passed by. On my way to the parking lot a woman I know blocked my way.
She delivered the very news that could possibly end my life. I can't think of anything but to do everything to hide it.
Weeks after my girlfriend cameback. She cook breakfast for me. Prepared my clothes. I felt guilty. I can't look at her in the eye.
I started avoiding her. Until she noticed. We fought again. She left the house this time for good.
Month's later we talked. We decided to just talked it out. But it became a cycle for 6 years that have been our life. Until I proposed she accepted it but then she know about my most hideous secret.
She left with no trace. She just left. All I have is a paper saying. "I thought I still love you but I can't marry you while loving someone else. Go be with your angel" beside was the ring I gave her.
I just sat there in despair. I hire investigator to. Find her but she just showed up at my door step. She didn't dare to come inside.
"Please let me go. I'm not choosing you. I'm with someone else."
Then she left. I went after her. I saw her with a man I estrange of.
I might be out of my find but if I can't have her no one can. I hired someone to inflict her pain.
I search for her every where when I'm about to give up I found new reason to live but I ended up finding her.
I'm doing something that will give her pain again but I needed her to live. I'm evil i know but I'm just in love.
End of Flashback
For 9 long years. I'm became estranged of myself. As I stared at the only thing that that keep me sane.
"Daddy Kief can we visit mom?" I smiled at my kid. I know she know her mom and I aren't exactly friendly but she chose to love me despite of that.
"Pack your things, Anj you're going home to mommy" Maybe it's time to finally let go.