Dr. Riss took a sip of his sugar tea (really just a term the Vrul used to describe warm sugar water) and looked across the table at Krill raising one eye ridge in a practiced arch. Eyebrow raising shouldn't have been possible on a Vrul, and the expression itself was extremely strange on such a nonhuman face, but with judicious practice and discipline, Riss had had come to master the expression enjoying the ability to show silent distain without having to say anything. Krill was miffed by Riss's superior ability in the eyebrow raising department pointing out that distain was usually his area of expertise. Riss had countered by pointing out that you couldn't hold a monopoly on a state of emotion.
Krill had begged to differ and to this day, the matter had still not been solved, even over numerous cups of sugar tea.
"You will want to stop looking at me like that." Krill said eyeing Riss from across the table as he took a sip from his own teacup,
"Look at you like what."
"Skeptically, like you don't believe me."
"I never said that."
"You didn't have to, and I stand by my statement that I officially know everything there is not know about humans, in fact. I am the Universe's number one leading expert on human anatomy and behavior. There is nothing that I have not seen or dealt with at this point. In fact, I believe I know more abut humans than the humans themselves."
Riss arched his eye ridge even higher making Krill glower even harder.
"Would you stop doing that?"
"Doing what?" Riss waggled the eye ridge in a rather cheeky manner as krill's antenna began to vibrate in annoyance.
"You are the worst kind of company?"
"Than why do you keep inviting me over for tea." Riss said with a grin. The expression didn't work so well in the absence of teeth, but he still made his point. Krill grumbled and sat back in silence taking another sip from his cup. And it was true, krill did in fact, invite him over for tea rather often. Depending on, his schedule, working hours and if he needed to speak to riss regarding a psychological consultation, they could be having tea up to seven times a week, or once every day. It also depended on how much Krill had to complain about.
In the end it had been months since they HADN'T met daily for tea. Though Krill would never have admitted it, Riss knew Krill considered him a friend, plus, though he would never tell krill this, riss had a working psychological profile on his friend, which included a statement about hwo krill wasn't happy if he didn't have soemthing to complain about. Krill was never happier than when he was angry.
And even if that wasn't the case, Dr. Riss found it quite enjoyable to needle Krill, a pastime held sacred by more than one resident of Arcadia. In fact, Dr Katie kept a pair of ballet slippers in her desk, bringing them out to punish Krill on occasion by chasing him up the hall on pointe doing those creepy tiny ballet steps that made it seem like she was floating. Riss was pretty sure it was called a bourree, but then again ballet wasn't his area of expertise. Personally he preferred the theater, not musical for obvious reasons , but he did enjoy a good theatrical performance every now and again. Krill on the other hand hated ballet with a passion which had something to do with the state of ballerina feet, though Riss had no desire to find out for himself.
As for pastimes, Krill was himself a bit of a snob, and fancied himself a fan of late Baroque era classical music. He often said that there was nothing he liked better than a good concerto, emphasis on the string instruments.
"The fact that you claim to know anything about humanity after less than a decade just demonstrates your hubris." Riss said. He could have let it slide, but he wanted to start an argument. He liked arguing with Krill, as it was an enjoyable pastime.
Krill waved a dismissive hand at him, "You will not be manipulating me with your psychology today Riss. There is nothing to argue here. I am simply right."
"I think you are simply daft."
"have you been reading the thesaurus to try and look impressive?"
Riss hummed, "Yes, the same one you keep under your pillow."
Krill bristle, "I don't own a pillow."
Before the argument could continue there was a sudden knock on the door, and the two of them turned in their seats to look over at the door. Krill got to his feet and scuttled over to the entryway, moving in that strange way that he had. Even after all his time with he humans riss was still not nearly as affected by human behavior as krill.
The door opened and they were both surprised to find a rather disheveled looking Martha standing in the doorway holding a groggy Kay in one arm, with a diaper bag slung over her opposite shoulder. Kay''s hair stuck up in a tangled golden halo around his head, and he still wore a rumpled set of pajamas. He sucked absently on a bright blue pacifier resting his head against Martha's shoulder.
"Martha, is everything alright. Is kay alright?" Leave it to krill to jump straight to sickness or injury.
Martha smiled, "No no, nothing like that. Its just, I've been called suddenly into work and Hijan is out doing some training, and all the other people I would trust him with are gone, or busy with work as well, so.... I was hoping you might consider taking him. It would just be for a few hours."
There was a pause for a moment as Krill thought it over.
Riss crowed inside with triumph and stood, "he'd be delighted to help Ms. Vir, I was just talking with Krill and he was telling me how he is the universe's number one expert on humans. It should be easy for him to take care of one for a few hours." Krill gave him a rather annoyed look, but the Vrul's pride had already gotten in the way,.
Behind him Martha raised her eyebrow, casually decimating riss's eyebrow raising form in a way that only a native eyebrow raiser could.
"of course Martha." He said, stepping aside to allow her in.
She walked over to the couch to gently sit Kay down. The little boy was still rather sleepy, his eyes drooping halfway closed, and he made no move to resist her as she set him down. Gently she knelt in front of him, setting down the diaper bag, "You be good for uncle Krill ok." She leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead, and he smiled groggily at her past the pacifier.
She stood and turned to look at Krill, "Again, I shouldn't be gone more than a few hours. He's just getting up from a nap, but he should get sleepy around seven. The bag has everything you need in it, toys and snacks, so he should be good to go. If anything goes wrong, just go ahead and call me alright."
Krill gave a dismissive wave of the hand, "yes of course Martha, we will make sure to do so."
She wave at Riss and Riss waved back. He certainly didn't think krill was capable of taking care of a small human. Riss on the other hand had read all the literature there was to read on human development and child rearing, so he was confident he could pick up the inevitable slack in Krill's technique. With him there kay was sure to be just fine.
Martha waved at kay one last time before stepping out of the door. Kay lifted his head as she left, but to their surprise he didn't cry, instead resting his head against the couch armrest to watch them past half lidded green eyes sucking softly on his pacifier.
Krill and Riss returned to their seats as kay sat quietly on the couch.
"I don't have work today, so I can help your take care of him." Riss said, pouring out some more tea into his cup.
Krill raised an eyebrow, though his wasn't nearly as well executed as either Riss or martha, "You think I need your help."
"Well I am an expert in early child development, but I am sure you will come in use if he stubs his toe."
Krill let off a little bark of derisive laughter, "You, claim to know so much?"
"Psychology is my area of expertise Krill, your is anatomy, so I think in this case, yes."
The two of them continued to bicker for the next couple minutes, their conversation growing more and more heated until they both, almost simultaneously realized that the quiet sucking sound from the other side of the room had stopped.
Both of them turned to find the couch empty, and Kay gone.
They immediately bolted to their feet, "Aren't you supposed to be watching him." Riss said
"I thought YOU said you were going to help," Krill countered
It didn't take long to find the boy, as approaching the hallway, they were rewarded by the distant sound of giggling followed by soft ripping noises. Kay's blue pacifier lay discarded in the hall.
"My office!" Krill shouted, running forward and throwing the door open. He stopped in horror as he stepped inside, eyes scanning over the scene before him. Kay sitting on the floor, surrounded by at elast three of krill's bottom shelf medical journals, happily ripping handfuls of pages from the binding and throwing them into the air with a giggle of glee.
In a hurry, krill ran forward and grabbed the journals from the floor putting them out of Kay's reach, "No, absolutely not." Krill lsaid
It was the putting of the lip and the quivering of the chin that alerted them to what was coming. The little breathing holes at the base of Kay's neck began to expand and contract rapidly like a bellows as he gathered up the air he needed, opening his mouth wide, and
Screamed.
The sound was incredible, far over the decibel range that a child his age should be able to produce. Kay felt back on his butt tears rolling down his face as his chest heaved, sucking in the air required to make the noises that he now made. Krill and Riss stood across from each other staring at Kay as he rolled onto his face and screamed into the floor.
Riss looked up at Krill raising his voice to be heard over Kay, "Well genius, you're the expert on humans. Here is a human, not fix it."
Krill gave Riss an icy look before, "Well.... He is upset, and when a human is upset they require comfort."
Riss crossed his arms. On the floor Kay began rolling around, as he screamed, inching towards the door, "I beg to differ. Tantrums are a unwanted behavior, if we are to comfort him that would be applying a positive stimulus and thus reinforcing an undesired response. The best tactic is simply to ignore it and reward better behavior later. A time out should be sufficient."
"Not in my office." Krill announced.
"Fine then."
Krill crossed his arms, "I don't know if you have noticed, but Kay is at least twenty pounds, while you and I are only around fifty. I don't think either of us can safely move him to a different location." That was true enough, At 40% the average Vrul's body weight, the decision to pick him up and put him in timeout was completely lost to them.
Their argument continued, and by that time Kay had rolled out of the door, and almost completely forgotten about the books. Rolling was fun, and so was the screaming. He had mostly forgotten what he had been upset about and went quiet as he saw something that looked like extra fun.
An open bag of powdered sugar sitting on the kitchen floor.
It was when kay went quiet that the two of them knew something had gone wrong. They hurried out into the hall and then into the living room, stopping In their tracks in shock and awe.
"We weren't even gone a minute." Riss ssaid softly.
"How?"
Kay sat in the center of the kitchen amidst an explosion of powdered sugar. It covered the floors, and cabinets. Krill even thought he saw some on the ceiling, and in the middle of all sat Kay, covered from head to doe in powdered sugar like a polar bear in a snowstorm. Only his big green eyes were visible through the powder as he giggled clapping his hands and sending up a cloud of powdered dust.
"Well, at least he's happy" Riss said, "That should distract him for a few minutes while we figure out how to clean him up."
"yes, but how."
Kay licked his arm and giggled again.
"Well, we can't lift him, but maybe...... we can lure him. Human brains are so undeveloped at this age, he's basically no smarter than a dog or other animal who runs on its instincts so, we bait him like we might bait an animal." Riss turned and walked over to the diaper bag sitting by the chouch, reaching in and withdrawing a bag of goldfish.
That Got Kay's attention.
"Ah there we go." He handed the bag to Krill who immediately set about by placing the goldfish on the floor in a trail to the bathroom. Kay tilted his head curiously, but followed after leaving little white powdered sugar footprints behind him as he walked bending down on occasion to pick up the fish and put them in his mouth. The plan worked well enough and they managed to lure him into the walk-in shower while Riss unzipped his powdered pajamas.
He seemed to enjoy himself as the water turned on, splashing like he might in puddles of rain while krill attempted to wash the sugar out of his hair. While he did that Riss did his best to clean up and hide any other objects that might get kay in trouble when he came out.
All went fine until Krill toweled kay off, and began dressing him.
Kay had better ideas, and krill was unable to stop him as he ran naked into the other room squealing in delight as Krill and Riss both began to chase him. This went on for several minutes of what kay might have considered good fun, not used to being able to throw weight around. Both his dad, his mom, and all of his grandparents could scoop him up in one hand, but Krill and Riss certainly couldn't. it was only when he finally tired out, and krill, bribed him with a toy did he sit down and allow them to dress him back up.
They weren't able to get on one of his socks, but that was close enough. The fact that he was wearing pants and a shirt was a win for them, despite how annoying it had been to thread his four pudgy arms through the sleeves.
If they thought that was going to be the end of their trouble, then they had been wrong.
"He's just like his father."
Krill grumbled in annoyance after a particularly frustrating half hour of chasing kay around the house as he touched everything he could, and put whatever else he could in his mouth. The only way to keep him out of trouble was to keep him distracted, and even then he had an incredibly short attention span.
They managed to distract him with cartoons for thirty minutes and then with toys for another hour or so.
Krill found that as long as he had a toy in all four hands he was unlikely to grab or play with something he shouldn't.
The only other time he was completely easy to deal with was when he was eating.
Kay took his snacks very seriously, sitting down to eat each and every little bite that he was offered regardless of weather it was dropped o the floor or not. Krill would have been worried about Kay eating floor food as a medical professional, but at that point he was almost too tired to protest. Eating floor food of krill's immaculate floor was fine in comparison to some of the things Krill knew for a fact that other humans had eaten, even Kay's own father.
Otherwise Ka was a very good eater. Unlike other children his age, he seemed to have no desire to throw his food around or make a mess with it. The little serious expression he got on his face was one of a strict professional taking on a very delicate and very dangerous job.
Krill and Riss had no recourse to argue with him, and used these moments to relax until the next catastrophe.
He spent another good thirty minutes running around the house making strange noises, which was actually the most agreeable of all his activities. Though it was loud, at least he wasn't trying to touch everything.
It was when Kay was having his last snack of the night, and the sun orbs outside on the street were slowly beginning to dim towards blue that Riss and krull found themselves slumped on the couch in exhaustion. Both of Riss's antennae dropped, and krill's organic antennae did the same. Kay was sitting on the living room floor judiciously finishing off the last bit of sliced banana and strawberry inside the little Tupperware container. He took each piece out on at a time and ate them very slowly as if to enjoy the flavor.
Krill and Riss did not interrupt.
When he was done, kay sat back and yawned very suddenly eyes beginning to droop.
Riss and Krill watched him as the small boy stood slowly, picked up his pacifier and waddled over to the couch. It took him a few tries to climb up using all four arms to grip the fabric as he clambered up. He yawned again, and then to their surprise, crawled over to Krill.
Kill wasn't entirely sure what to do, but Kay seemed to have made up his mind, crawling into krill's lap and curling up so he was leaning against krill's torso, head resting right below his chest. Krill sat still as kay snuggled just a bit closer and closed his eyes, fading off to sleep in a matter of moments.
Krill and Riss exchanged a look before Krill announced, "Today was completely uneventful." It was not a question but a statement.
Riss answer, "Yes, we had a very successful day."
"No one can prove anything happened other than what was meant to." Krill finished
The two of them nodded in agreement. No one would ever find out about their hubris, for the only person capable of contradicting them, couldn't yet speak