3RD PERSON
Flashback
The lights were bright and almost blinding. The minute trinity opened her eyes, she closed them back due to the invasion of the light.
All around her, people seemed to move. It was constant chatter and talking and a panic that she couldn't bear.
After awhile, things calmed down. And there was a gentle touch laid upon her shoulder.
"Trinity? Are you awake?"
Slowly, her eyes opened again. It was no longer bright, now the light was something she could handle. The girl could barely turn her head because of a shocking pain. And she didn't know where the hell she was or how she had got there.
"I- where am I?" She croaks, trying to sit up but the people in scrubs didn't allow her to.
"Please relax. We will tell you everything you need to know in just a minute." The kind nurse says.
Trinity didn't react or respond. She knew there were a few pairs of eyes on her. She didn't know why so many people were required to watch after her.
It had registered that she was in a hospital. But she didn't know why. It was as if her mind had went completely blank when it came to any event which occurred but a few hours ago.
"W-why am in the hospital? Where's hoseok?" She asked, panicking but calling out for hoseok first.
She felt safe with hoseok. In any situation she would call out to him first.
"Where is he?" She cried, ignoring the pain in her neck as she looked around frantically. She felt dizzy and almost as if something heavy was sitting on her chest. But she was still looking for him.
"Ms.Kim please." The nurse says desperately, trying to get trinity to calm down.
"Her blood pressure is rising!" The nurse yells.
Tears rolled down Trinity's face as she begged for somebody. Anybody. She needed to see a family member or hoseok just to tell herself that she was safe.
"Get the doctor!" The nurse called out.
A few moments later, a doctor walked in and calmed her down. She relaxed and they gave her some water. Trinity felt sleepy the minute she calmed down, but they needed her up to update her on her situation and explain to her just why she was here.
The doctor informed her that his name was Dr. O'Quinn. He was a tall man with a calm aura to get her to settle down.
He told all of the nurses to leave out, giving them some privacy. He sat next to the hospital bed as trinity sipped from the cup of water and sniffled on occasion as she waited for him to speak.
"Alright." He sighed, looking down at his clipboard. "I just want to ask you a few questions. Is that okay?"
Trinity only nodded. She knew that they would ask her questions regardless.
"Do you remember how you got here, Ms.Kim?"
Trinity shook her head slowly.
Dr.O'quinn marked something down.
"Do you know the name of the last person you saw before coming here?"
Trinity thought about it. But Dr.O'quinn told her not to force her thoughts. And truth is, trinity didn't remember. So he moved on.
"Do you know the name of your parents?"
"Y-yes." Trinity said. "Thalia and Hyeon." Trinity responded.
"The name of some family members and or friends?"
"Michelle, Namjoon, Jimin, Hoseok, Yoongi...Yanna." She said lightly. She would've continued by Dr.O'quinn told her that that was enough.
He then asked a few more questions. He asked if she remembered her age, the name of her school and finally how she was feeling.
Trinity remembered everything except how she ended up here.
"Lovely." The doctor mumbled before placing his clipboard on the table next to Trinity's bed.
"You were under severe stress, Miss Kim. Because of that you ended up passing out and being rushed to the hospital. Outside of bleeding, there was also a minor concussion that seems to be affecting nothing outside of how you feel. But you remember everything." He explained.
"Oh god." Trinity whimpered, covering her mouth with her hand. She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"Bleeding?" She questions. Dr.O'quinn never clarified on that.
"Yes. I would rather wait awhile before disclosing that information. It is obvious that you are under extreme pain right now. Perhaps we give you some medicine for the pain and call your emergency contacts so that you have family here." Dr.O'Quinn said.
He was beating around the bush. Doctors weren't supposed to do that. But there was sadness weighing in his voice. He seemed hurt by something, he seemed to carry a deep sympathy for trinity at the moment and she didn't know why.
What had happened to her?
"I don't want to wait. I want to know now." Trinity said to him, her voice as stern as possible.
Dr.O'quinn's eyebrows lower. He stared at Trinity. She stared back at him, not backing down.
Doctor O'Quinn then nodded his head.
"As mentioned, you were under some heavy stress. You experienced a very very strong fall and in the process you got a gash on the side of your head and I'm not certain with how you are feeling anywhere else, but I would assume your body is under some serious pain." He says.
"It is." Trinity said. Her back was hurting and her neck was hurting equally as bad.
"While you were asleep, we were able to run a few test. There was an extensive amount of blood. Not only by your head, but also around the measure of your crotch area. Surprisingly, you didn't show many signs of pain even while sleeping. But after checking we discovered something extremely saddening."
Trinity gulped. Nothing could've ever prepared her for what he said next.
"Miss Kim...I am sorry to inform you that after your fall, you were subjected to a miscarriage." He said.
Trinity almost dropped the cup of ice cold water she held. Her hands started to shake, her eyes filled with tears and her body felt as if it was being tossed in an endless dark sea of emotions.
"W-what?" She stuttered.
________
Trinity sat on the bed in her bedroom at her parent's house, a blanket wrapped around her as she stared off in the distance.
Occasionally, tears would flee from her eyes. But she wouldn't react to them. She would just let them fall.
Hoseok had left. She didn't think he would, but he did. And it's been hours.
In a way, Trinity couldn't blame him. Actually, she couldn't blame hoseok at all for how he had reacted.
He had in fact been trying with her ever since the incident. Despite their argument before about him tossing her to the side for his job, Trinity realized that she was being selfish.
Hoseok was a good man. He worked so hard for her. He got her everything her heart desire and even beyond that. He told her countless of times that he loved her more than life itself and she couldn't even tell him the truth when he deserved to know it?
What did that make her? A hypocrite.
She preached to him about communication when it times she was the one that needed to work on communicating better.
Trinity felt horrible. She had kept a miscarriage from him for months.
She was awful - her mind told her.
There was a soft knock being delivered to her door.
"Come in." Trinity says, her voice barely above a whisper.
The door opens slowly. Her mother peeps in.
"How you feelin'?" The woman asked lightly.
"Like a horrible horrible person." Trinity says, looking over.
Mrs.Kim sighed and opened the door wider. She entered holding a plate of cake. She sat down next to trinity on the bed and placed the cake before them.
"Your father left for work. He told me to tell you that he loves you. And if you're up by the time he gets back, you both can have a little movie day."
Trinity wanted to smile but she couldn't. Mr.Kim was sweet.
"I....I should've been told him before." Trinity says. "I was always complaining about the wedge between us when this entire time, it was my fault. After being discharged from the hospital, I realized that hoseok truly was trying with me, mama. He was so gentle and sweet. And I was so bitter and hostile. And for what? Because he didn't answer a few phone calls?"
"It's not your fault-"
"Yes, it is." Trinity looked over at her mother. "No matter how I felt at that time, he deserved to know the minute I woke up. But he had just lost his father and he wasn't himself after that. Despite what he said about feeling numb about it, he was broken." Trinity explained.
"And I guess that... I kept it away from him for so long because I knew that the information would make him fall apart." She sniffled.
"I was just trying to protect his feelings, mama. I didn't want to hurt him." Trinity said, breaking down at once and finding her way into her mother's arms.
"And that's exactly why I say it's not your fault. You lost a part of yourself too. I understand the guilt you carry for not telling him instantly but it's about your mental health as well. Hoseok does not put you at fault as much as you may think. He just needs some time alone too."
Trinity didn't say anything, knowing her mother was right.
They sat in silence for a little while, the woman rubbing her daughter's back and humming to keep them both at bay.
"I hope that he's safe. Wherever he's at." Trinity said.
"He's fine." Mrs.Kim said, sounding sure of herself.
"Just give him some time. We can call him later."
"Okay." Trinity said hoarsely.
_______
Hoseok sat in the bmw he had gifted trinity for her graduation. A bottle of whiskey in his hand as he stared out at the dark, starless sky.
He had found an empty alleyway to park in. There were some buildings on the block that were surprisingly still opened at this time. The light illuminating from the neon signs supplied him with enough to see in the darkness of the car.
Hoseok didn't know what to do.
When he found himself trying to calm down, the thought of how he could've been a father would creep back into his mind and knock his mood down all over again.
He was of course hurt. Hoseok hadn't even thought about having kids, but after what Trinity told him he felt as if them having one would've prepared him for a lot of things.
He would've felt as if he were ready to encounter anything this world had to throw at him. For being a father meant you were ready for the world. Atleast that's what hoseok thought.
He wasn't interested in starting a family just yet. But he wanted to do a lot of things with Trinity. Get married, have babies. Be a family.
His father ruined Hoseok's outlook on a lot of things. Already, he was an imperfect boyfriend. Sometimes he was a little bit too rough with Trinity. He cursed at her, he grabbed her, he argued with her and that wasn't right.
Hanseo was never there and although being fatherless wasn't an excuse, it was still the main reason as to why Hoseok's actions were his actions.
He was sure trinity had good reason for not telling him but he couldn't hear it right now. He couldn't go back to her tonight. Now when he was sitting in her car getting drunk and still feeling a little angry.
Hoseok downed more of the liquor. He felt the burning sensation trickle down his throat and it did kind of throw him off but after drinking for so long, he was used to this.
That was another thing. He was starting to depend too much on alcohol and he didn't like that. He knew Trinity wouldn't either. He needed to stop but he didn't know how.
"Ahh, shit." Hoseok hissed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before opening the door.
He was starting to feel a bit suffocated. His phone was somewhere in the car. He was tempted to call her but he knew they couldn't talk right now. They both just needed to think.
Hoseok slowly climbed out of the car. His long legs stretched and he felt as if he could finally breathe and move around.
Hoseok's back cracked as he extended his arms out wide. He needed to walk around.
Carelessly, he placed the bottle on the ground next to the car tire before walking away from the car.
He mumbled to himself, not even sure about what he was saying but still speaking nonetheless.
It was cold outside but he wasn't really affected by it. The whiskey had warmed his body up so he could stick things through and go for awhile without a coat.
During his walk, he came across a store with the lights still on inside and no sign of closing anytime soon.
Hoseok raised his brows and stepped back to briefly examine the store name.
It was a pet store.
Hoseok started to walk away but he couldn't. Deciding that he should go in, hoseok opened the door and stepped inside. It was cold and the store felt more like a shelter than anything.
The man rubbed his arms to get rid of the rising goosebumps as he walked around. There were all types of pets.
Fish, cats, a few birds and a lot of puppies. Hoseok could smell the pet food and poop. He scrunched up his nose and went over to the puppies.
Hoseok always wanted a dog when he was a kid but of course his mother was opposed. His childhood was glum and lifeless at home. Which is why he stayed in the streets. Believe it or not, things were a bit more vibrant than they were at home.
He was drawn to the little bin of puppies. All of different breeds and colors. Once they seen the human before them they seemed to lose their minds. Their little barks shaking the room and taking hoseok by surprise.
He was tipsy but he was still in his right mind.
"Hey hey hey, easy. The owner might come out and yell at me." Hoseok grumbled, bending down next to the bin and looking at the puppies.
"You guys are cute." Hoseok mumbled, reaching out his hand into the bin. A few of the puppies sniffed it. Others licked his hand. Hoseok smiled gently.
He noticed that one of them didn't come up to him. It was a smaller puppy in the back of the bin, staring at hoseok put not making a move.
Hoseok frowned, wondering why the puppy looked so scared.
"Who's there?" A voice sounded from behind him.
Hoseok turned to see an older man standing there, wearing a plaid sweater and khaki pants. He had grey hair and glasses. His voice was frail.
"Oh..I'm sorry. I thought this place was still opened for customers." Hoseok cleared his throat, standing up from the bin.
"We closed a few minutes ago. Just didn't...put up the sign because I was busy in the back feeding the fish." The old man chuckled, walking from around the desk.
"I'll leave. I'm sorry." Hoseok apologized, walking towards the door. But the old man called him back.
"It's okay son. How may I help you?" The old man asked.
Hoseok nodded towards the bin.
"I was just looking around. I wasn't going to buy anything..." hoseok said. But then he thought about it.
"On second thought, I'm interested in purchasing a puppy." He said.
The man nodded. "Well we have plenty of those." He said. Hoseok chuckled, going back over to the bin.
"Chihuahua's, pits...nothing too exotic. Our most rare is the Alaskan malamute. We only have one left." The man said.
Hoseok didn't know much about dog breeds. He just knew that he wasn't interested in a chihuahua. Those were ugly as hell in his opinion.
"Which one is the Alaskan?" Hoseok asked.
The old man waddled over towards the bin and extended a shaky finger, pointing towards the white and black puppy at the back of the bin.
He looked like a little wolf puppy. He was adorable.
"The little shy one right there. Found him at the shelter. Previous owner was always working and eventhough he's but a puppy, he was still put up for adoption very early."
"He's scared of me." Hoseok said softly.
The man shook his head. "Nonsense, son. Here, pick him up and see." He urged.
Hoseok hesitated. He didn't want to just pick up the puppy. He didn't want to scare him.
"Go on." The man says.
Hoseok gulped before bending down slowly and reaching inside.
Slowly, he picks up the husky. The puppy didn't bark but he did tremble in Hoseok's hold and get a little frantic.
Hoseok held the puppy close in his big, strong hands. Holding him against his chest and stroking his soft fur. Eventually, the puppy calmed down which also made hoseok calm.
"See? It's okay. I won't hurt you." Hoseok mumbled, talking to the puppy as if he would get a response.
Sober hoseok wouldn't have done something so sappy in public. But tipsy hoseok would.
"Is everything alright, son?" The man asked.
Hoseok nodded. "Yes sir, why ask me that?" He asked. Not being rude. Just curious.
"No reason. You just seem like you're having one of those nights. Just trying to make sure." The old man sighed.
Is it that obvious?
"How much for him?" Hoseok asked. He wanted this puppy. He had become so easily attached.
"He's yours free of charge." The old man said.
Hoseok's eyes widened as he shook his head. "No. I can't just take him. How much is he?"
"Trust me, it's no need for payment. I'm happy that someone is interested in purchasing one of them. It seems as if every customer overlooks the ones in the bin and goes straight for the big guys. I can't charge you for him. I'm just happy you want him."
Hoseok clicked his tongue. He couldn't believe that nobody wanted those puppies. They were adorable.
"Well I'm still putting up money. I want food and toys and a dog bed. He won't have a cage." Hoseok said, walking towards the counter and whipping out his wallet all while holding the puppy.
The old man laughed. "You're a stubborn fellow." He said. Hoseok shrugged. He had been told that often.
"Are you already thinking of names?" The man joked.
Hoseok shook his head. "No...not yet." He said.
"Trinity's going to love you." He mumbled to the pup.
He would let her name him.
Hoseok was just happy to finally get that puppy he always wanted as a boy. Someway, his inner child experienced some sort of healing from getting to say that he had a puppy.
Still though, there was so much to him that needed to be fixed.
That night, after purchasing the puppy along with food, toys, a bowl and a bed - hoseok and the pup settled in the backseat of Trinity's car.
He took his coat and put it on the backseat so that if that puppy was shedding or anything, he would do so on his coat and not on Trinity's seat. He could always buy another coat.
He didn't have the energy to drive back home or to the Kim's. So he and the puppy slept in the car, the pup crawling on to Hoseok's lap and getting comfortable to rest.
Hoseok smiled softly as he rubbed the puppy's fur and allowed for his mind to settle. He felt peace despite what happened earlier. But he knew that his feelings would knock him down again.
Still though, it was nice to relax if only for a few hours.
-
A/n: heyy :(
Honestly my heart is breaking for Trinity and hoseok. A lot of you were already on point about her having a miscarriage and even me being the author is in shambles...
It's trin and hobi though and they always shake back. So let's see how that goes.
They also have a puppy now!!! I tried to add something cute to calm us all down😭😭😭but it was sad in a way since hoseok mentioned his inner child and yeah
Excuse any mistakes <3