Theo
"Goodmorning Collae" I whispered to her while she slept. She was starting to wake. After the hospital time we had both of us no longer wanted to talk much but I insisted she stayed over, I was away from her too long to let her just go home and spend any day alone.
"Hey," she said raspy followed by a yawn.
Things have been hard for us. It was weird knowing she was no longer pregnant. No longer being able to count the days when our baby girl would come.
We had just found out the gender.
You can try and do life as best as you can and it just doesn't work out for you. But I have a strong belief that everything happens for a reason and that things always work out in the end.
"Collae... I don't know how to feel...I just know that I love you and I want to be here for you, and I am here for you always. You're not alone anymore, I'm so sorry that I wasn't there for you, but I promise to be by your side forever. You're the love of my life no matter what happens."
"Theo—"
"You're my heart, my world, my rock whatever else there is." She started to cry, I wiped her falling tears and started into her mocha eyes. "I know you're hurting, I'm hurting too, I just want you to know that I'm here."
She gave me a soft kiss taking her release from my hands to my neck. She pulled back quickly.
"I'm sorry, If I had a chance to make decisions over I would. I wish I could've been there for you Collae," I could feel myself start to tear up as well with a knot in my throat. I couldn't shake this guilt and pain.
"We never picked a name for her y'know," she sighed.
"Yeah we never did...what would you have wanted?" I caressed her arm.
"I was actually going to let you name her," she let out a quick chuckle.
"Me? Really?" I wiped my tears, "Probably would've named her after your mom, you never told me her name by the way."
"Her name was Serana," she smiled.
"Serana, that's a really beautiful name, does it mean anything?" I asked.
"It's suppose to be close to Serena it's a variation of it but it means calm. My mama was always calm, she always knew how to make me or a situation better." Collae looked outside my window beside my bed.
"You're sorta like that you know."
"I'm not, I try to be more calm, but life be in the way," she hinted towards the baby.
"Let's name her Serana," I blurted.
"What? Theo she—"
"She was still our baby Collae, she deserves a name..." I said honestly hoping this wouldn't upset her.
"Didn't want to really give her a name Theo, makes it feel more real," I could feel her about to break down. I held her tightly in my arms.
"I know baby but it feels right to name her," I rubbed her back and kissed her head.
"Okay Theo," she embraced me tightly before pushing me back to kiss me once more. This kiss felt painful like I could feel all the emotions she's been feeling lately. I could feel that she needed me and I needed her.
"I love you cauliflower, I always will baby."
"I love you too, thank you for being by my side."