3RD PERSON
Later on that morning, after Trinity and Hoseok reached the apartment, they gathered all of her bags and for the moment chose to just keep her things packed until later on when she would actually feel like going through them and getting stuff situated.
Hoseok could tell that she was obviously exhausted. After her little confrontational moment earlier in the car, she went back to being mute and barely said anything to him at all.
She didn't even tell him why she no longer wanted to be in school anymore. He wouldn't pressure her into telling him but it was still important that she talked to someone.
"Ugh, I missed this bed." Trinity groaned, pulling the blanket back on her side of the bed and carelessly plopping down.
Hoseok cracked a smile. He took off his shoes and got in bed next to her. He was up and active for the few hours it took to pick her up and drive back home, but now he was tired all over again.
At first, it was oddly quiet. Trinity got comfortable and occupied herself by being on her phone and hoseok tried to get back to sleep. As mentioned, he didn't want to get on her nerves by asking her about school but the thought just kept scratching at his mind...
He felt as if it was important to ask trinity about school or any other factors that caused her stress. After the incident, he knew that it would do them some good to hear from her about her problems so that she could talk those things out and feel better about them. It was never good to hold all of that in and they didn't want something like that to happen again.
But he also learned that forcing answers and communication wasn't a good idea neither. It just put extra pressure on a person and would make her feel as if she needed to move at a pace he desired instead of waiting to talk whenever she felt the time was good enough.
So needless to say, all of this kind of threw hoseok in for a loop.
They sat in silence. During that time, he would hear her typing on her phone or laughing at a funny video or something as he tried to sleep. It was a brief moment in time where it was completely quiet, and a little while after that moment was interrupted by her speaking.
"My mom's gonna be so disappointed in me..." she said out of nowhere.
Hoseok frowned, opening his eyes and looking over at her. Trinity turned off her phone and placed it on her stomach. Shaking her head as she stared up at the ceiling.
"Don't say that, baby." Hoseok mumbled.
Trinity laughed painfully. "Why not? It's the truth. I never thought that I would be the type to drop out of school...I'm pretty sure my mom never thought I would either."
"Yeah but...you had your reasons. You didn't do it just because." He said.
Trinity pursed her lips and shrugged her shoulder. "I don't know...I just feel like I could've went through with it for a little while longer. I didn't have to give up so fast."
The more she thought about it, the more she started to regret not waiting until the end of the semester. But she wanted to leave before the stress became too much. So it was a good thing she left the minute she felt all of that pressure.
She couldn't help but feel like a failure. Eventhough it was just for dance and not for something like a business degree or license - it was still school nonetheless and she just up and left as if it were nothing...
Hoseok didn't say anything. He stared into the side of her face and waited until she said something else.
"Do you want to know why I decided to leave?" Trinity asked softly. Hoseok licked over his lips.
"Only if you want to tell." He said.
"My dance teacher for this semester was hell. She was strict and I always felt like she had something against me. Remember that showcase I was telling you about?"
"Mhm." Hoseok nodded, sneakily pulling her closer and wrapping an arm around her.
"Well I didn't get a part in it...I tried to brush it off but I couldn't. So I went and asked her why I didn't get a part. And she literally told me that I wasn't the look she wanted because I wasn't fragile enough...whatever the hell that means." Trinity rolled her eyes.
But she knew what it meant. Madame louise was picking on her because of her body. Not only that, she was coming for her skin color and in a way critiquing her for what she knew better than ballet which was majorette - typically something that black girls involved themselves in because it was a style of dance that was most appealing to them.
It wasn't that trinity didn't know how to dance - it was just Madame Louise being provincial and not seeing trinity for her talent which was obviously there.
"So yeah...I kind of got upset and decided that it would just get worse from there. So I left...and you should see those other dancers! I mean I could dance circles around them! But just because I'm a little curvy and not all tall and skinny and oh don't forget "dainty" then I'm not appealing to the audience she wants to attract." Trinity complained.
Hoseok sighed. "I believe you, mama."
Trinity pouted, playing with the fabric of his shirt as she reflected on these last two days.
"But I don't think you should beat yourself up about it. You're not a failure. You put up with the school for as long as you could and you left for the sake of your mental health. You did the right thing." He said.
"You think so?" Trinity asked, looking up at him.
Hoseok nodded, bending just a tad to kiss her forehead. "I know so." He said.
It was silent , once again.
Hoseok played around in her hair. He wondered when she would get braids again. He missed her braids, whether they be to the scalp or individuals. He also liked when she wore locs. She always looked so majestic with them.
"Hoseok?" Trinity called out.
"Yes, baby?" He mumbled, a yawn slipping from his lips afterwards.
"What do you think about my body?" She asked, catching him by complete surprise.
"Huh?" He asked.
"Like...like what do you think about the way I look? Be honest." She said.
Hoseok clicked his tongue. "What do you think about it?" He asked.
"It's okay-"
"Wrong." Hoseok cut her off with a shake of his head. Trinity slowly removed herself from his hold and sat up in bed next to him.
"It's okay? Really?" He asked, sitting up after her. She opened her mouth to speak but he talked over her.
"Your body is literally perfection, baby." He said. "How can you just say 'okay' when you have the most beautiful skin? The most beautiful hips, legs? Face? And don't even get me started on the stretch marks, the little scars you get from being clumsy, the beauty marks you have all around." Trinity lowered her head in embarrassment as he pointed out certain things about her body.
"I love your body most because you have something I can hold on to. I love how you look in anything because you always shape your clothes up nicely. I love how you keep yourself in shape but there's still a perfect balance so that you're not missing too much of something or you don't have too much of something - even then I wouldn't know what to see as too much because I'll still love it on you regardless. And anything else such as tattoos or piercings is just a bonus for me because you're a ten on your own..." he said.
"That's enough." Trinity laughed shyly. Hoseok wrapped his fingers around her chin and proceeded to tilt her head so that she could see him eye to eye.
"I could go on and on with this. It's so many amazing things to say about your body. I can give a thousand reasons as to why I'm so obsessed with it and why you should be too. You're perfect. You have the billion dollar body that most would kill for, do you understand that?" Hoseok asked, staring directly into her eyes.
"I do." Trinity said.
"Do you really?" Hoseok questioned.
Trinity contemplated. She wanted to believe that she had this dream body that hoseok and even Michelle had told her she had. She wanted to believe that she looked like what most women would kill to look like. She wanted to believe that she set a standard that others wanted to meet. But her insecurities wouldn't allow her to feel that way.
Hoseok noticed her hesitation. He didn't think twice before taking the hand that had previously been holding her chin - and moving it around to hold the back of her head. He pulled himself closer and laid his lips upon hers. Trinity closed her eyes, kissing back instantly. It felt good having his lips on hers. They hadn't kissed even after he picked her up from the dorms. She was honestly deprived.
"I need you to be more confident. Believe me when I say you're beautiful, baby." He whispered against her lips.
Trinity's heart stopped at the tone of his voice. It was sexy. And him using this tone to help her gain some confidence about herself just made things all the more better.
He slowly moved down from her lips to her neck. Trinity tilted her head a bit to allow him more access, holding the back of his head to support as he attacked her neck with sweet kisses.
"I feel like the richest man alive because of you, beautiful." He mumbled.
Trinity giggled, her fingers softly gripping his black hair as they laid back in bed.
"Thank you." She said. It meant everything to know that he was being honest. And that he was truly in love with her, and could admit that every piece of her whether it be inside or out played a part in his unconditional love for her.
_______
Haylee stood at the counter making a bowl of granola, yogurt and fruit. She decided she wanted to add banana, strawberries and blueberries with the yogurt and granola. Going with something simple before she headed out for the day.
Lately, her days had been feeling as if they were planned out for her. She felt that robot that worked around someone else's schedule instead of her own. That was never a good feeling, but in a way it gave her some relief because she hadn't the mental capacity to think for herself too much these days.
The apartment felt a little bit lonely. But that was only because during the day Namjoon left, and at night he came back.
They were choosing to be a little bit different with their break. Unlike most couples, they still went to sleep next to each other by the end of the night. But that was about the only form of physical touch that they had shared in two weeks.
Haylee was starting to feel a little bit foolish. But in her defense, this is what she seen as best for the both of them.
She needed the break to get herself together and she thought it could do Namjoon some good as well. She knew that he probably wouldn't want to be around a sappy girlfriend who was starting to get eye bags and barely even said anything nowadays.
She was like a zombie. And of course Namjoon was concerned. But he knew that this wouldn't last for long.
But who could blame Haylee? This was her response to finding out that she couldn't have children. That instantly brought her spirits down. To know that she and Namjoon both wanted them and couldn't have them together because her body was incapable.
That had easily become an insecurity for her. And it made her feel bad about herself the more she thought about it...
After finishing her early morning snack, she grabbed her bag and coat before hitting the door. She was happy that she was damn near finished with nursing school. She couldn't wait until she could be actually considered a part of the field instead of just being a student. She couldn't wait to work in an actual hospital and help people. Save lives and make families happy, give them actual help. It had always been a dream of hers.
The drive was awkwardly silent. Despite her being in the car alone, it was still a bit weird. Usually, she had Namjoon drop her off just so she had somebody to talk to. But Namjoon wasn't there...
Once Haylee made it to campus, she found her usual parking spot and checked herself before getting out of the car. It was a beautiful sunny day outside but even then she couldn't wait to just go back home and chill.
When she entered, the crisp air of the building hit her exposed arms. Of course she needed to sign in first so she did so, and while that happened she made good conversation with her friend who sat behind the desk.
"Good morning." Haylee greeted politely, picking up the black ink pen.
"Good morning girl, I like what you did to the hair." Her friend - Maya - complimented, gesturing to her hair.
"Thank you...I think I wanna cut it soon. I don't know. I'm sick of it. And it'll be helpful since they like us wearing our hair up anyways." Haylee sighed.
"Right right." Maya mumbled. "Oh! Girl I just remembered. About an hour ago we got a early early package. Has your name on it too."
Haylee looked confused. "Really?" She asked.
"Mhm." Maya said, reaching under her desk and pulling out something Haylee really didn't expect to see.
"A bouquet?" She laughed, placing down the pen.
"Same thing I said. It's a note but I ain't that nosy, girl. I just figured you had a secret admirer." Maya winked, handing her the bouquet.
Haylee looked around the beautiful flowers for the note. It was nothing but a small white card with words scribbled on it. She looked closely to read the writing.
'Ik we're on a break rn but I couldn't resist the urge to get you some flowers.
Also, I'm missing you like crazy.
-love, your man'
"Ooouu who is it?" Maya tried to sneak a peek but Haylee moved back.
"Nobody for you, nosy." Haylee laughed, tucking the note back into the flowers. It was cute and had made her smile. Suddenly, she felt better about today.
She couldn't believe he had done something so romantic like this. It was cute and very thoughtful of him. And of course, it made her regret wanting a break. Because now she felt as if she needed nothing else besides a nice and long hug from Namjoon. His comfort and his love.
"Damn girl you ain't gotta remind me. Shit." Maya said, leaning back and beginning to type on her computer.
Haylee was just grateful that he held no hard feelings and instead, was choosing to be patient with her and to actually try with her.
He understood that she was going through something. He didn't try to downplay her emotions or force her into doing anything. And she loved him for that. She loved the kind of man Namjoon was.
And these thoughts only made her think that maybe she was being unfair...
-
A/n: just a filler. I'm honestly ready to be done with this book so I think we have about 15 more chapters to go? Maybe a bit more?
Excuse any mistakes <3