*BOLD AND SERENE*
EPISODE 38
Bismillaah
*NOOR*
I didn't need too much intelligence to know that Alhagie was My Umarr. Only Allah knows what was going on in my head and heart. I excused myself and went inside my room. I wanted to close the door but Ayesha quickly held it and I was in no mood of pushing and pulling so she came in.
"Noor. Listen" I sat on my bed and pulled my legs to myself holding them tightly. I was gazing at the bed sheet but was seeing Bayyaa...the days that he kept on trying to make me stop and trying to safe me from such pain. I was heedless! Now I will be forced to pay heed. Ayesha sat beside me and placed her hand on mine.
"Why are you hurting yourself? No need to become so devastated! Who am I in front of you? You think he will think of me after knowing that you love him? Maybe he never made approaches to you because you always kept your feelings hidden" what kind of a person was Ayesha. I am certain she loves Umarr. Is she thinking of leaving her love for my happiness? As if I will allow her do that!
"He saw me...he saw you,he chose you!" I smiled. "He is yours dear,you even love him too. Why are you planning on sacrificing your love for me? Ayesha,you deserve unbothered happiness! Go for it girl. I will be over it soon inn shaa Allah. In fact,I now have a mother and a sister,that's enough to keep me happy. You think I will be happy when you give up on him for me?" I giggled. "I cannot live with the guy that my sister rejected just for me!"
"Me too!" She cut in. She hugged me. "Nothing can come between us Sistur Twin! If a thing tries to creep in our midst,we'll remove it and throw it into the bin. Even if that thing is Alhagie or Umarr" I was Ok with her words until she said 'even if that thing is Alhagie or Umarr'! My tears couldn't help it. For eternity,the only guy present in my dreams! I wouldn't have believed it if I was told that I would be put in a situation in which I will remove Umarr from my heart. I cannot imagine another person in my dreams,I just cannot!
"I loved him Sistur Twin!" I sobbed. I failed miserably in trying to control my emotions. "But I am trying to stop! He...he...he is not for us Twi! We are for each other!" I could feel her nod on my shoulder.
"We will be blessed with better guys" she said. Knowing Ayesha,she will never admit her love for Umarr if I break down in front of her. I disengaged from the hug and quickly wiped the tears on my face with the back of my palm.
"But you love him more than I do Sister Twin! I know! Your eyes say it all!" I told her.
"Are you becoming a liar!?" She frowned. "I've finalised...No Umarr for the both of us and that's it!" I always thought I act like a mother but I've lost to Sister Twin! She's so authoritative. I was going to say something when a knock came through the door.
Ayesha went to open it and I heard him say.
"Umm Ayesha...where is Noor?" Why can't he stop being too caring. It won't do me any good.
"She's inside"
"I want to be left alone" I whisper-shouted.
"What's wrong with her?" I could hear him asking Ayesha and then heard footsteps moving away from my door.
I wanted to be strong and make myself believe that I have a valid reason of letting him go but...I just wanted to cry!
I want to get rid of the burden I've laid on my heart. Not all dreams come true and this is one of those dreams that cannot come true. It's just so hard to bear and believe! I hugged my pillow and continued crying when Bayyaa also started banging on my door.
"Go away Bayyaa!" I shouted but he didn't listen.
"Please go away. Don't be stubborn" I pleaded. Bayyaa can be very stubborn atimes. I gave up and opened the door for him. Umarr was standing beside him but I bang the door shut before he could enter. I know I was venting my anger on him even though he never did anything wrong...or maybe he did,he stole our hearts at the same time!
"What's wrong with you Noor!?" He pulled my hand and made me sit opposite him on the bed. "Haven't I told you that Umarr never loved you. He never said he loves you. You just raised your hopes high and got them all broken. It's no one's fault but you!" Bayyaa's words were not helping at all. I know I was stubborn but I was just trying to follow my heart. I didn't expect things to turn out this way. If Umarr loved some other girl,I would have fought for my love but hey...it's Ayesha! My Sister Twin! She lived all her life in troubles and sorrow. I believe this is the time happiness has started knocking on her door and amma open the door for it to enter into her life.
I had no words for Bayyaa. I hugged him and cried. He was right and I was wrong.
"Bayyaa knows best!" I said in between sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for getting myself hurt and hurting you by being hurt!" If I get hurt,Bayyaa gets hurt too.
"It's ok. Just get a grip on yourself. Where is Ayesha?"
"She is outside"
"I need to talk to her too" he got up to leave.
"Bayyaa...don't say anything harsh to her. She loves him too and I can leave him for her. That's no big deal" I sighed.
"Just shut up Noor!" He commanded and went away. I know these things have got him frustrated. I felt sorry for him,I wish I wouldn't have been the cause of his problem.
It's time to get a good shower to wash away the pain and frustration. Noor is Jolly! Not Melancholy!
I spent almost an hour in the bathroom. Just letting the soft touch of water get into my brain and cleanse all the pain from it. My phone's ringtone made me rush out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped on my body. I didn't bother to check the caller ID.
"Hello As'salaamu alaikum" I said the moment I recieved the call.
"I called you so you should've waited for my greeting instead"
"I am Noor and you should know I do things in my own way!"
"In your own weird way instead"
"Wait,did you just call me to have a fight with me Zak?" He chuckled and sighed.
"I missed our fights Cattie" that got me so emotional. I had completely forgotten my friend these past days. I was only thinking of Umarr,Umarr and Umarr! Not anymore. "Are you there Noorie?" He asked.
"Yesss...I am here. You? Where are you?"
"In wonder land"
"Ohh really? What happens in wonder land?" I asked.
"I come here whenever I have a lot of things to wonder about and I always find an answer to them"
"Hmmmmm. I think I also need to visit wonder land. Can you take me there?"
"What if I say No?"
"Nonsense! You cannot dare say No to Me!" I bossed around.
"That's true. It's always a yes for My Cattie Noorie!" Zakir is so fond of calling me 'his'...lol,so possessive of me!
"Come pick me up. I'm at my father's house"
"Ok inn shaa Allah!" The call ended and I heaved a sigh of relief. Why didn't I call Zakir earlier. His words were all I needed to get back my lost comfort. I have always Thanked Allah for Zakir but I feel it's never enough.
I opened my closet and chose a new maxi dress that I was going to wear for the first time. Not only a new dress...I even wore new shoes and veils. I just wanted a fresh start to my new life,a life without Umarr! I shut my eyes when the pain surged in but I was quick to put it under control.
I left my room and went to the living room. The sight I saw was...was...I don't even know what to feel.
Ummaa had Ayesha and Bayyaa's heads on her lap and was lovingly caressing them. Why was I left out? This was beautiful but sad to know that I was the only one missing. I was trying to fight away the pain but it always finds ways to come back. I just stood there watching them as if I was glued on my spot.
I felt a hand crept on my navel and someone hugged me so tight. I didn't need to see who it was,his scent was all I needed. My Dad! I really missed him! I was not in good terms with him but I was really suffering the distance. I laid my head on his arms and held him tight.
"Please forgive your father,Princess!" His voice disturbed the other three and their attention turned to us. Ayesha came and stood in front of me.
"Noor,what has your father done to you? Why are you punishing him? Please forgive him" I looked at Dad and his eyes anticipated for my forgiveness...I wanted to say something but my phone beeped in my hand. I looked and saw a message from Zakir saying he was at our door. A doorbell rang almost immediately.
"I have to go now." I hugged Sistur Twin and waved at Bayyaa and Ummaa.
"Is that Cattie?" Bayyaa asked with a smile. I threw him a smiley-glare and opened the door.
"Salaamu alaikum Cattie" he grinned.
"Wa alaikumus Salaam Zakkie" I mimicked and grinned in the same manner.
"May I greet your family members?" He raised a brow.
"Next time Inn shaa Allah!" I closed the door behind me and signalled for us to go. He just stood at the door and kept on looking at me with a smile.
"Whaaat?" I stood akimbo.
"Nothing. Don't go and leave me here." He said and followed me.
"I want you to be with me all the time!
My Cattie Noorie!" Again.
"You are becoming too possessive of me you know" I smirked.
"I know. I just don't care" he shrugged. The nerves of this boy!
Zakir really looks different.
I wonder what's cooking up in his head.
Whatever it is,
I know it won't hurt....Being with Zakir never hurts!
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(✏TIMABELLE💛)