Maya's POV
"Can we just lay here all day?" I ask carina
"We could but ava may think we're doing something else" she laughs
"She won't, she knows we haven't even kissed yet so I'm guessing she knows we don't do that" I laugh
"I can't wait till the day you kiss me" carina smiles as I roll over so I'm looking up at her from her chest
"Me too, I'm getting there, ava will probably use her shrink skills to coach me through it"
"I'll wait as long as I need to," she says happily
"I'll try not to make you wait too long," I say
"Good because I don't think I've ever gone this long without even kissing someone"
Ava's POV
'Hey apricot' Olivia said over facetime
'Hey, olive'
'How are you doing?' she asks
'we're managing, carina isn't resisting the feeds as much anymore and aside from the one slip up, Maya's ok'
'that's good, when can I come over, I miss you' she pouts
'You can come over whenever you want' I tell her
'Really! Now?'
'Sure, if you want to'
'I'm on my way' she says quickly before hanging up
"Mom?" I say, going into their bedroom and falling onto the bed
"Yeah baby?" she asks
"Olivia's coming over," I tell her, wrapping my arms around the both of them
"Ok, but I'm not getting out of bed," she says
"I don't blame you; you get to cuddle mama all day"
"Yeah, I do, and she's really comfy," she says
"lucky," I say
"You can cuddle me whenever you want Bambina," mama tells me as she pulls me close to her
"I love you," I tell them both
"We love you too," Maya says
*******
maya's POV
"I'm sorry I won't kiss you yet," I say randomly as carina and I are scrolling through our phones
"hm?" she says, confused as to where this was coming from
"I feel guilty that you're having to wait for me" I admit quietly, watching carina
"never feel guilty for listening to yourself, don't push yourself just for me because we both know it will just make things worse"
"but you are just waiting and I don't know how long it's going to be until I feel like I can"
"I will wait forever if it means you're happy Maya. even if we're 80 years old and ava has kids of her own and we're shrivelling up. you can kiss me in an hour or in 60 years and I would be just as happy. I will always wait for you, Bella."
"I can't" I whisper as she notices me getting upset
"You don't have to Bella, I'm not asking you to do anything, ok?" she says, wrapping her arms around me "I know you were forced into things in the past but it's now like that now, you don't have to do anything you don't want to and if you want me to stop doing something then you just tell me Bambina, you're safe Maya," she says, tears flowing out of my eyes by the end
"I love you" I whisper, clinging onto her as tight as possible
"I love you too Maya"
****
Ava's POV
"I've missed you," she says, running and jumping on top of me
"Well, if you kill me then you're not going to have me around for a while," I say, pushing her off me
"how've you been?" she asks, wrapping her arms around me
"Good, why are you so clingy today?" I ask
"No reason," she says, obviously lying
"What?" I ask
"I'm hormonal" she whispers
"Ohhh, that makes more sense" I laugh
"Shut up" she jokes, putting her head down on my shoulder
"Come here olive," I say, pulling her head down over my chest
We turn the tv on and watch whatever rubbish was on. Neither of us were paying too much attention, it was just on in the background
"You know how you asked if I liked girls?" I say randomly
"Yeah, why?" she asks
"I think..." I start "I think I do" I whisper
"Oh ava," she says, pulling me in for a hug
"I'm so proud of you," she says quietly, wiping a tear off my cheek
"For what?" I ask
"For admitting it, it took me ages to do that," she says as I feel her stroking the back of my head
"I'm going to have to tell Maya and carina" I mumble
"Well, if you're worried about them not being accepting then you can relax considering they're both gay themselves" she laughs slightly
"I know, it's still awkward though"
"I know, you'll be ok, whether you tell them in an hour or in a year, you'll be ok" she reassures me
Carina's POV
"I've been thinking about how long it will be before I can go back to work," Maya says
"Do you want to go back soon?" I ask
"Not really, I like being with you and ava all day, but I have to,"
"Only when you feel like you're ready though," I tell her
"Yeah,"
"I'm so proud of you," I say, making her smile
"For what?"
"For acknowledging the fact, you need time off" I smile as she buries her face in the crook of my neck
"I'm proud of you" I confirm as I feel her kiss my neck before pulling back to look at my face
"I'm so happy" I squeal, practically jumping on top of her "you've never done that before," I say, not being able to hide my smile
"I told you I'm getting closer," she says happily
"Well done Bambina," I say seriously
**********
Maya's POV
"I can't believe we actually laid here all day," I say as we finish our 5th film
"Neither can I," she says, cuddling further into me
"I love you" I whisper
"I love you too"
"I can't get enough of hearing you say that" I whisper as she buries her head in my neck
"I love you" she repeats before placing a kiss on my neck
"I like that" I smile as she places another one, holding it for longer before pulling away
"Can I leave a mark?" she whispers as I nod lightly before she goes back and places another kiss in the middle of my neck, repeating the action before beginning to suck on it slightly, increasing the depth as I relax into it
"Mm" I moan as I feel my blood pulsating under my skin
She continues sucking for a while until she pulls away, bringing her hand up and running her thumb over it lightly, proud of her work
"Are you ok?" she asks quietly
"More than ok" I smile, clinging back onto her
"You need to do a feed," I tell her
"I know, can't we just skip today, I'll have it tomorrow" she argues
"Nope, that's how it starts so I'm not letting you miss one," I say firmly
"Maya-," she groans
"Listen, would you let me cut once if I promised to never do it again," I said
"No because you wouldn't stop" she whispers
"Exactly, come here, I'll do it"
Despite her whining, I manage to hook it up as we continue lying together, watching yet another film.
Ava's POV
Olivia went home after a few hours, and I crawled into my mom's bed and was cuddled up to them.
"I see a hickey" I laugh,
"I haven't even looked at it yet," Maya says
"it's quite big" carina laughs
"I don't care, I love it," she says
"I'm going to go have a shower," carina says "don't do anything stupid while I'm gone"
"You let her give you a hickey?" I ask Maya
"Yeah,"
"The next thing you know, you'll be making out all day," I say
"maybe," she says thoughtfully
"Are you thinking about it?" I ask seriously
"About kissing her?" she asks as I nod "yeah, I am," she sighs
"You can do it" I whisper
"I've never kissed anyone before, I've not even been forced to do it, I don't know why it scares me so much"
"Well, it scares anyone, it's just even worse for you because you have trauma around the whole subject, sometimes there are just certain things that you feel like you can't do even when there isn't a specific trauma"
"I feel like I'm so close, but I just can't do it. I let her do so many other things but it's the kissing that's just terrifying for me" she says, frustratedly
"When the times right, you won't even think about it, you'll forget about your dad and about Robert, it'll just happen"
****
maya's POV
"why's it getting so hot in here?" carina asks as we're lying in bed that night "is the AC working?"
"I'll check, hang on," I say, getting up and going to the nearest AC unit, seeing that it wasn't on
"We have a problem," I tell her "The AC is broken, and the company doesn't do call-outs on the weekend"
"Oh no" she mumbles
"Why is it always during a time when there's really hot weather" I groan, getting back into bed
****
"ugh" I groan as we toss around the bed, it being way too hot to do anything else
"I love the heat, but this is torture," carina says
We continue tossing and turning for ages, all the blankets ending up on the floor eventually, except one that was just floating about.
"How are you wearing a jumper?" she asks me
"I can't be bothered to change and I'm not wearing anything underneath"
"Take it off if you're that hot," she says quietly
"Did you not hear the part where I said I'm not wearing anything underneath?" I said as if it was stupid
"I know but I don't care, if you're that hot then you can take it off"
"that's just embarrassing," I say
"Can I take mine off?" she asks quietly
"it's your body, you do what you want" I whisper
"I know, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable"
"You could never" I smile as she pulls her top over her head, leaving her in just a bra
"you're gorgeous," I say, unable to hide my smile
"You still think that when I'm covered in sweat" she laughs
"of course, I do," I whisper
We continue laying there for a while, carina still tossing around every 10 seconds, clearly uncomfortable
"If it's bothering you then take it off," I tell her after she turns over again
"Hm?"
"Take it off" I whisper, smiling at her
"You sure?" she asks as I nod gently, watching as she reaches an arm behind her and unclasps it, leaving it in place
"One hundred percent sure?" she asks
"mhm" I agree as she pulls it away from her as I try my best to hold eye contact, obviously failing
"it's ok Bella, you can look" she whispers as I allow my eyes to fall to her chest, feeling a heat rise to my cheeks
"you're so hot," I say in complete awe
"So are you!" she said laughing "come here," she said with her arms out as I looked at her wide-eyed
"Come on, I want cuddles" she smiled as I gave in and moved over and wrapped my arms around her, putting my head on her shoulder
"To be honest, I love the broken AC right now" I whispered, "despite how much I'm sweating"
"You can take it off Bella, you don't have to suffer" she laughs lightly, stroking my hair
"I don't know" I mutter
"Look, I'll close my eyes and you can put a blanket over you until you're comfortable," she says
"fine" I sigh, giving in to the heat as she covers her eyes playfully and I lift my jumper off, pulling a blanket over me before laying back down on her shoulder
"Can I open?" she says smiling as I reach up and move her hand away, interlocking our fingers
"I'm proud of you Bella," she says as I hide my face in her neck, uncontrollably smiling
"You don't have to hide how much you like it," she says, obviously smiling
"I need this to be even, what's your weakness?" I ask
"you" she smiles
"What can I do then?"
"anything," she says as I get an idea
I move my head back up, so my mouth is next to her ear, starting to kiss it lightly before moaning into her ear, pulling away to see her face bright red
"Found it" I smile as she hides
"I'm hot" I whisper after a while of us laying there
"I know" carina laughs, obviously meaning something else
"Oh my god" I laugh
"Well, you do have a blanket on you"
"I know" I sigh
"Hey, Bella, look at me," she says, tilting my head up, "I don't care, ok? You can take it off," she says as we both lay on our sides, facing each other
"I don't know" I sigh, getting annoyed at the fighting going on in my head
"Do you want me to help?" she asks, confusing me as she brings one of her hands forward and traces the top of the blanket
Knowing what she meant, I slowly nodded, knowing I needed someone else to be in control to stop my mind from going crazy
"I need to hear it; tell me I can do it" she whispers
"You can do it" I confirm
She hooks a finger under the top of it, looking between me and the blanket before pulling it down but keeping it close in case I need it
"wow" was all carina managed to get out as I laughed
"Come here," she said as I lay in her arms, feeling really overwhelmed
Carina's POV
"it's ok" I whisper, noticing her getting worried, "I've got you, Bella"
"This is so new" she whispers
"I know it is, but you're doing it," I say, stroking the back of her head
"I'm safe" she mutters to herself
"you're safe Maya"
A/N
we are getting to the kiss don't worry 😂
what do you think of it so far?