Maya's POV
"You ever say a word about them again and I will do more than just hit you, understand?" Vic says as Avery backs away
"That goes for anyone in this hospital" she adds as we turn around to leave, bailey following us
"Hughs, usually I would be punishing you right now, but I'll be honest, he deserved it," Bailey says
"Ok, let's go home," I say, wanting the whole day to just be over
"Are you ok?" I ask carina as we get home
"I'm fine, how are you?" she asks
"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" I say as we both lay on the sofa
"Bella" she whispers, pulling me so I'm lying on her chest
"it's ok, let it out" she whispers as I let the tears flow down my cheeks
"I can't lose you" I cry
"I know Bella, I'm here," she says, stroking the back of my head
"don't leave us" I continue through sobs
"I'm staying, I'm going to fight so hard to stay Maya, I promise you"
Olivia's POV
"it's ok ava" I whisper as she lies in my arms
"I love her too much to lose her liv," she says
"I know ava. I know she's not been herself lately, but she'll come back soon, she's the same person ava but she's just having a hard time"
"I know, and I keep trying not to blame her for it but what else am I supposed to do? I just want my mama back" she whispers as her voice breaks
I didn't know what else I could do to comfort her right now, so I decided to text Maya
'Is carina talking right now?'
'Yeah, she seems ok, why?'
'Ava's not ok and I think she's the only person who will be able to calm her down right now'
'She said she'll come in if you want her to'
'Can she, if that's ok?'
Not long after me replying there's a knock on the door as carina walks in, looking at ava sadly
"I'll leave you two alone for a bit," I say, getting up as carina lays with her
"Is she ok?" Maya asks as I sit down with her
"Not really, she can't decide whether she's mad at carina or if she feels bad for her and she misses having her around like how she used to," I tell her
"I get that, I mean, I just sobbed in her arms and begged her not to leave us," she says
Carina's POV
"ava," I say, getting into bed with her and holding her tightly
"Mama?" she cries
"I'm here baby," I say
"I need you; I can't lose you"
"I know, listen to me Bambina," I say, lifting her head up to look at me
"I love you so much, you know that right? I'm not leaving you; I give you full permission to yell at me if I won't let Maya do the feeds because I know you're angry, you're allowed to be angry. You can be angry at whoever you want Bella, if you're angry at me, then be angry at me, I'm angry at myself too"
"I'm not angry with you, I'm annoyed at the situation," she says
"And that's ok, I'm staying with you both ok, I'm not going anywhere"
******
Maya's POV
"It's time carina," I say, going into the living room where she is sitting on the couch
"Maya" she groans
"Come on, you don't even have to do anything, just sit there looking pretty," I say as she sighs
I manage to hook a bag up as we sit down and wait for it to empty. I watch her looking at the bag every 10 seconds, watching as it flows through the tube, knowing that she hates it
"don't look at that," I say, pulling her head onto my chest
"it's too much" she whispers
"you'll be ok," I say
"No- I- I can't- it's too much" she stutters, getting frustrated and worked up
"Carina what's wrong," I say sternly
"I- I don't know- it's too much- I-," she says, standing up from the sofa
"What do you need?" I ask, getting up with her
"I just- I need to move- I'm- I'm annoyed- and I'm mad- I just," she stutters, pacing around the room
"Get it out," I say
"I- how?"
"Move, scream, kick, whatever you feel like doing carina," I say as she starts shaking her arms around
"Sit down," I tell her as she does so
"Hit it," I tell her, handing her one of the couch cushions
"I can't-," she says, out of breath
"Get it out carina, you can't keep this is you," I say as she starts banging her arms and legs against the couch and crying
I let her do whatever she needs until she starts calming down but continues crying. I pull her back into my arms tightly, refusing to let go, despite her thrashing around
"Shhh, I've got you baby" I whisper
"Make it stop Maya" she cries
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but you'll be ok, we'll get through this ok?" I say as she continues crying into my chest
Maya's POV
"When can we go to the station next?" ava asks as we sit on the sofa
"I don't mind, whenever carina wants," I say as we turn to look at her
"I don't mind, we can go today if you want," she says
"Are you sure?" I ask, knowing she's only had the tube for 3 days now and she was still feeling self-conscious about it
"Yeah, I mean, you'll just have to tell everyone why I have a stupid tube"
"Ok, let's get ready then," I say as ava goes into her room to get changed and carina goes into ours
After a while, ava comes back out but we're still waiting on carina. I decide to go and check on her and find her in the bathroom looking in the mirror at the tube, I could tell by her face what she was thinking
"it's ok" I whisper, coming up behind her, wrapping my hands around her waist
"I don't like it" she mutters "it looks horrible"
"Hey, come here," I say, turning her around so she's facing me
"I love it, you're still just as gorgeous and it makes you look badass so don't think that way," I say before peppering kisses all over where the tube is taped to her face
I pull away and look at her smiling even wider than I thought possible
"What?" I smile
"I love it when you do something new like that," she says happily
"I'm glad, now let's get going before ava starts threatening us" I laugh as we go back outside and head to the station
Luckily Vic was on reception, so the rest of the team were in the beanery.
"Hey, how're you doing?" Vic asks
"Good, we haven't been here in a while," I say
"I know, everyone keeps asking when you're visiting, they're so desperate to get rid of Andy and jack as captain, neither of them are any good" she laughs
"I don't know how to do this," I say as Vic understands what I mean
"Well, carina can stay down here until you talk to them because they'll probably have a ton of questions you need to answer before they see her," she tells me
"Yeah, you can sit in my office," I say as carina and ava go and sit down
"What am I meant to say? 'Hey, so the reason we haven't been here in ages is because carina actually has an eating disorder and is eating through a tube?'," I say
"To be honest, I don't think there's a good way to say it, I'll come and help if you want" she offers
"Thanks, Vic" I smile as we head up
I go in and see a bunch of excited faces, followed by confused ones because I never come here by myself anymore
"Hey" I smile, as Vic comes and stands with me
"How are you doing bishop? We haven't seen you around here in ages" warren says
"Yeah, that's a um... a weird story," I say, having no idea what to do next. There's not exactly a guide on how to tell your friends that your girlfriend has an eating disorder
"what's wrong?" Andy asks, knowing that I'm acting extremely weird
"Do you want me to?" Vic asks
"Yeah, this is way harder than I thought," I say as everyone gets worried
"Ok so, carina and ava are downstairs, but we needed to tell you something first" she starts as everyone looks over confused "there's no easy way to put this but carina has an eating disorder and currently has a feeding tube placed," she says in one breath
"What?" jack asks as everyone just kind of stares at me
"Yeah, she's ok at the minute but she went like 5 days without having anything, so they placed a tube," I say quietly
"Where did this come from?" miller asks
"She was diagnosed with it when she was younger, but it just flared up again" I sigh as everyone looks at me silently
"Is she happy, sad, angry?" Andy asks
"she's managing, she's happy at the minute but it turns, she hasn't eaten solid food in weeks and has had the tube for 3 days. Don't mention anything bad about the tube, by the way, she hates it enough" I tell them "Also, ben, your wife knows because she's been at the hospital for a few weeks before getting the tube, but she was under strict orders not to tell you" I add
"I knew she was hiding something," he says
Carina's POV
"Are you ok?" ava asks
"Yeah," I say
"I just thought of something," she says
"What?"
"I heard that you love dad jokes" she laughs
"Oh no" I smile
"Do you want to hear one?" she says as I shake my head
"Are monsters good at math?" she asks "I don't know?" I say
"Only if you count Dracula," she says, bursting into laughs as I facepalm
"that's so unbelievably stupid," I say
"Exactly! That's what makes it funny" she laughs
After a few more jokes we decide it's been long enough and go up to the beanery, not without ava continuing to make stupid jokes
"That one's not even funny," I say as we go in
"I know her secret" ava tells Maya "she loves dad jokes" she laughs
"Well at least she lets you tell them; she plugs her ears if I even try to," Maya says as everyone else just stares at me
"Hi, I'm carina DeLuca, I think you know me," I say
"How are you?" Andy eventually asks as we sit down
"What are you referring to? General life or the eating disorder?" I ask as everyone stares
"I'm good, I'm eating through a tube but other than that I'm fine" I add
"Ok, so..." Andy starts as they all eventually continue the conversation again
"who's that?" Maya asks as my phone rings
"Oh, it's bailey?" I say confused as I put it on speakerphone so Maya could hear
"DeLuca?" she asks as soon as I pick up
"Yeah?"
"it's a long story but all of the surgeons who were involved in the incident a week or so ago have said they wanted to apologise to you, bishop, and ava so I was just wondering when you could come down here," she said sounding confused herself as the whole team listens
"Why would they be sorry?" Maya asks
"To be honest, that's what I'm wondering, can I meet you somewhere, I want to talk about something," Bailey says
"we're at the station at the minute," I say
"Can I come down?"
"sure," I say looking at Maya worriedly
"Ok, see you soon"
"What was that about?" Andy asks
"Vic punched Jackson" ava laughs,
"You what?" dean asks
"He was being rude to Maya and carina, I didn't have much of a choice than to teach those surgeons a lesson" she defends
We talk for a while, filling the team in on what happened until bailey comes through the beanery doors
"I knew you had a secret!" ben says
"I'm sorry but I couldn't," she says, coming over to us and sitting down
"what's happened?" I ask
"So, after you left last time, you know when Vic turned into some sort of ninja,"
"Yeah?" I say
"All of the surgeons ended up arguing about the situation until apparently, they've all decided they wanted to apologise"
"What if they're lying; they all hate me so much I can't think of a reason for them to apologise"
"Why do they hate you so much?" Maya asks
"They blame me for Andrea's death" I whisper
"What? I was there that day; it wasn't your fault" she defends
"I know that now, but they made my life hell at the time, and they still don't like me"
"Well, that's what I'm scared about" bailey starts "I don't know if they're using it as an excuse to have a go at you again"
"We can't risk that, we've just managed to figure things out again, god knows what we're going to do if that happens again," Maya says
"What if a few of us came with you?" ben asks "that way they know that you're not there alone and the second they say something bad, you'll leave"
"There's no harm in trying" I sigh
"There could be," Maya says, worrying again
"Ok, what if we go and we do what warren says, the second they try and have a go at us, we leave"
"Fine, who's coming?" she sighs
"Me!" Vic says immediately "they're scared of me" she smiles
"And then me and dean can come," warren says "we have a few people from b shift here who can cover us"
"Ok, let's go then," bailey says as we all get up
A/N
Merry Christmas eve!
I don't really like this chapter, this was just kind of a filler one so sorry nothing really happened
any suggestions?
Xx