"That's all I ask." Josh said, flashing me a smile. I felt my cheeks burn as I held mine in.
"We should head back." I finally said, looking away. "They're probably gonna wonder where we ran off to." Josh nodded.
"You mean Jake's gonna wonder where we ran off too." I smirked back at him.
"Yeah." I said simply. He sighed, getting up and reaching his hand out. I hesitated but eventually took it. He held on tight as he lead us through the venue and then back out towards the bus. I quickly let go as we got outside. He looked back at me, his face dropping.
"Jess?" I heard. I turned to see Jake making his way toward us. "Hey.. where'd you guys go?" He asked, trying not to sound too concerned. I could always tell when something was actually bothering him.
"I.. just went out for a walk and then Josh caught up with me." He looked over at Josh, skeptical, and then back to me.
"Um.. c-can we talk?" He said quietly, leaning in closer. I nodded, taking his hand.
"Yeah, sure." I said. He lead me down the sidewalk, and before turning the corner I peeked back to see Josh still standing there, staring back. My heart sunk.
"I.. I'm sorry if.. before I.." He started.
"It's okay." I said quietly.
"You were right." He said. I peeked up at him confused.
"Right? About what?"
"About.. how I am." He said softly. "I.. I feel a lot.. sometimes.. too fast. I know that. And.. I know it scared you." I bit down on my lip, nodding.
"It did." I sighed. He nodded.
"I'm sorry if I overwhelmed you.. but.. I'm not sorry I said it. I meant what I said. I know you probably don't feel that way about me, maybe not yet.. maybe not at all.. but.. I still mean it."
I stopped, staring back up at him. He shrugged, giving me a small smirk as his cheeks got redder.
"When you know you know.. and I know." I couldn't help but smile, leaning in and kissing him on the lips. He reached out, gently grabbing onto my hips and pulling me in closer. I reached out, running my fingers along his cheek. His smile grew.
"You know.." He said, staring back, running his fingers through my hair. "We.. we've never really talked about.. you. Your past relationships." My cheeks burned.
"We don't have to talk about them." I laughed, holding my stare on him. He giggled to himself.
"As much as I'd love to pretend there haven't been any other guys.. I'm not naive. And.. I feel like I should know that about you too." He shrugged.
"Are you sure?" I asked, biting down on my lip, smirking up at him. "I know how you get."
"How do I get?" He laughed, his eyes getting wide. I looked away, holding in my smile.
"You get jealous, Jake. Very jealous."
"I do not get jealous. Come on, it's okay. Just tell me." I sighed, staring back up at him.
"Just.. the last guy you were with.. what's his name?"
"You really want to have this conversation now?" I asked. "Can't.. I just make out with you a little more?" He giggled to himself, his cheeks getting redder.
"If you tell me, we can make out all you want when we get back to the bus."
"Fine." I sighed. "Travis. His name was Travis."
"Okay.." He said, his voice trailing off.
"See.." I said. He scrunched up his face.
"Well, I'm not gonna like it.. but maybe if I know what didn't work with them that can make things easier with us. So.. how long were you guys together?" I hesitated.
"Three years." I said quietly.
"Three years?" He snapped, his face dropping.
"I told you we don't have to have this conversation."
"No, no.." He sighed. "We do. Okay. So.. three years is a long time. What happened?" He asked.
"I don't know, it just.. it just wasn't working. My schedule with shooting, his schedule with his band-"
"His band?" He asked, his eyes getting wide, staring back with a questionable look. I felt my stomach drop.
"He's in a band." I said quietly, rolling my eyes. "And this is exactly why I felt the way I felt when we first met. I.. didn't want to seem like one of those girls. But.. with my job.. guys in bands are the only guys I meet, so.. it's kind of inevitable." He bit down on his lip, nodding.
I could tell there was plenty he wanted to say, but he kept it to himself.
"What are you thinking?" I finally asked, reaching my arms up and wrapping them around his neck. A small smile spread across his lips, but I could tell he was trying to resist.
"I'm thinking.. a lot of things but.. it's okayyyy because.. I asked for this." He said, forcing a smile.
"We really don't have to talk about this, it's okay. We can just-"
"My ex is living on our bus. We can talk about one of yours." He sighed. I nodded, staring back up at him.
"Okay.. so.. what's the name of his band?" He asked. I smirked.
"Why, so you can look him up?" His smile grew as he nodded.
"That's exactly why." He laughed.
"Their band is called 'girlfriends.' He looked back at me, skeptical.
"Really?"
"I know, I know.. but.. they're good." I sighed. His smile dropped a little.
"So.. what happened with you guys?"
"Well, what always happens?" He nodded.
"What, did he propose?" He laughed. I bit down on my lip, my cheeks burning. His face dropped.
"He.. d-did he propose??" I looked away.
"Oh my god he did, didn't he?"
"Yes, but-"
"You've been engaged??" He snapped. I looked back up at him.
"No. He asked.. but I said no." His eyes got wide and he was quiet for a moment.
"You said no.. why?"
"Because.. I didn't want to marry him. It.. it was just-"
"Too fast?" He joked. My face was burning.
"I hate to break it to you, Jess, but three years isn't too fast. I think someone.. is just scared of commitment."
"And maybe I am."
"See.. its good we're having these conversations. Now I know in order to not scare you off, I just have to act like I don't care about you at all." He laughed. I playfully shoved him.
"That's not true." I laughed, he smiled back, pulling me back into his arms.
"Good, cause I could never." He said quietly, kissing my forehead. I felt my heart start to race.
"Is that all you want to know, or can we go make out now?" I asked, smiling back up at him. I grabbed his shirt and started pulling him towards the bus. He laughed.
"As much as I love making out with you.." He said, leaning in close. "Sometimes I feel like I really don't know anything about you.. so.. you're gonna have to talk to me about things more often okay?. And I don't want to have to twist your arm for answers."
"We can talk between kisses." I laughed, taking him by the hand and pulling him back towards the bus. He held on tight, following close.
"So, where is he now? Travis.. did you.. meet him on one of the tours you photographed, or.." He trailed off. My stomach dropped. I kept walking, avoiding his eyes.
"We.. grew up together. He still lives in Brooklyn. So.. he'll probably come out.. and want to meetyouguyswhenhehearsI'mbackintown.." I quickly said, hopping up the stairs of the bus.