did you miss me?
i recommend re-reading the last few chapters just to refresh your minds about what's going on. i know it's been too long and i'm sorry, however the explanation will be in the a/n at the end of the chapter with a trigger warning.
votes and comments are very much appreciated. let me know your thoughts throughout the chapter. thank you for sticking around.
~***~
BREAKING NEWS - Formula 1 'it' couple call it quits amid rumours of infidelity
Article by Anonymous, Published in Association with MotionNews
Surprise, surprise, this little 'A' of the media world has yet another fascinating and, quite frankly, heartbreaking development for the other 'A', better known nowadays as Alyssa Archer after revealing her identity to the world late last year. Despite keeping her identity as a Formula 1 driver hidden, Archer certainly wasn't hidden around the paddock - how can you be when you start sleeping your way through the grid? Her relationships with the drivers never got the attention it deserved at the time, probably because all but one was short lived.
The Mercedes driver first made her relationship with fellow Formula 1 driver and rival, Max Verstappen, public after they shared a kiss in the rain ahead of the German Grand Prix - you don't need to be lactose intolerant for that cheesy moment to make you sick to the stomach, yuck! This isn't the first time they have been a couple, though, with sources claiming the two were in an 'on-again off-again' relationship for the majority of the 2020 season, and then rekindled that spark shortly before Archer's 20th birthday in secret. She really likes her secrets, huh? Well, we know she didn't like this one.
This time the secret isn't hers. Max Verstappen was recently caught locking lips at a lavish Monaco party with a spicy brunette. A lot of you may be wondering who that brunette was, and you needn't wait any further. It wasn't very hard to track the young woman down and get a statement: "Yeah, we made out a little. He was pissed at his girlfriend or something, I don't really know nor do I really care. I only found out when you contacted me who he was so it's not like I can take any blame for this." So you heard it here first - Max Verstappen threw away his relationship for a stranger. Who can blame him? Makes you wonder how bad it must've been to even get to that level...
It appeared as if Archer found out about this interaction before we could get the details out to you. This isn't a bad thing; we can now share the conclusion I'm sure you've been desperate to hear. After a flight back to Geneva, where Archer currently resides during her time away from the track, she and Verstappen were spotted having a very heated discussion exiting the terminal. Whilst the topic of the argument is up for speculation, it mustn't have been pleasant as the two were seen leaving the airport in separate cars and haven't been seen together since! That's one way to escape from a relationship, Max Verstappen. Don't expect to see the two of them together in a few days time when the Formula 1 community head to Belgium.
Only time can tell if any man will be able to tolerate Alyssa Archer for longer than a few months. We think it may be the end for Formula 1's 'it' couple, but are we really surprised? In the rest of this article, we look back over the highs and (many) lows of this relationship.
My eyes didn't even care to look at the images attached to the article before swiping it off my phone screen and locking the device. Two hands gently squeezed my shoulders and a kiss was pressed to the top of my head. I reached up my own hands to place on top on them for comfort as I adjusted my position on the sofa.
"Surely they're getting bored of putting you under blast," I looked up as Max spoke to see a frown etched on his features from me reading the article aloud. "This is, like, the fifth article since the Summer break started chatting some sort of shit about you."
I shrugged my shoulders. This type of media was something I had prepared myself for. What maintained importance to me was that the majority of people could identify when a story is just that - a story. Something fictitious and made up with intention of grabbing attention and stirring drama. It was a childish tactic to try and drag my name through the mud. Whoever had been writing these articles clearly had nothing better to do with their lives than make stories up on the spot and then publish them.
Max and I hadn't even stepped foot in Monaco since the start of the Summer break, which is one of the main reason why I know that it was bullshit (the other reason being trust). It was one holiday to the next for me, and then we spent the final two weeks in Ibiza together, with friends joining us for the second of those two weeks. From there, we did fly in to Geneva airport, however the argument they caught Max and I having was definitely not because of any infidelity. In reality, it was much more boring - he was pissed off that the sun was in his eyes and I had accidentally broken the only pair of sunglasses he had packed whilst on the plane. In my defence, it shouldn't be that easy to pop out the lens when they cost as much as a holiday. As for leaving in separate vehicles, we had to take different cars to the airport because of the sheer amount of belongings we had packed. My cars were not designed to hold much so it made much more sense for Max to take one as well instead of trying to squeeze him, myself, Murray, Lemon and several weeks worth of clothing in one car.
"I mean, at least this article includes you as well," I pointed out. "The last ones were exclusively about me and I was starting to think this anonymous person at MotionNews had an obsession." I spoke the name of the company with a mocking tone of my voice, and I also couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Yeah, but they somehow managed to turn a fake story about me cheating on you into an attack on you being a shit girlfriend, which you're not," he quickly added.
I looked directly up to meet his eyes and smiled. "Thanks, babe."
"You're the best girlfriend in the world," he mumbled against my lips, placing soft kisses as he did so, "and I couldn't ask for anyone more perfect to spend the rest of my life with."
"Okay, you're milking it a bit now," I told him with a giggle, unable to stop the flutter in my chest. "Anyway, let's just ignore the article. Have you finished packing yet?" From the way he smiled at me, I could guess that he hadn't, and so I tutted and moved away before he could press another kiss to my lips. "Go finish packing. If we miss the video call with Lauren later, she'll start selling our secrets," I joked.
Max rolled his eyes but agreed nonetheless before reluctantly retreating upstairs to the bedroom. He had certainly made himself at home in my Swiss house over the summer. Half of the wardrobe was filled with his clothes, and he had enough belongings here that he didn't need to travel to Monaco or the UK for anything before a Grand Prix weekend. It was most convenient for us to live together as we patched up the many holes in our relationship. Some of those holes were bigger than others and required the assistance of Lauren to close, but we were both dedicated to eradicating them all.
I adjusted my position on the sofa so that my bare legs were covered by the soft, white throw I usually kept neatly folded over the back. Murray was snuggled up on my left whereas Lemon, who was able to get her passport during the summer, opted to nestle in the crevice of my arm. With my free hand, I picked up my phone and started to scroll back through the photos from my holidays. I probably should look through emails and do last-minute preparation as we're flying out to Belgium at first light, however the visible sunset against the lake through the large windows made me want to reminisce.
In all honesty, the summer break flew by all too quickly. Max and I headed straight down to the Southern coast of the UK as soon as our work duties had finished for a week. The beachside house neighboured Calum, Georgia, and Daisy so we were able to spend some time dedicated to catching up with them. Being in the UK also meant that I could have my family join me, including Kudzai, Esteban, and baby Libby. We got lucky with the weather, however that didn't stop me from spending way too much time inside getting my ass kicked by Xavier on the gaming console. Bella was also able to take some time away from work to visit for a couple of days, and it was such a relief to catch up with her in person and open up about my troubles.
It was around that time that the first 'exposé' dropped highlighting the 'details' of my involvement with each of the drivers on the grid I had been photographed with in the past. MotionNews was one of the biggest rivals to Bella's father's company, Just In, meaning she had no objections at all to going through the article and nitpicking everything wrong with it, as well as already having a plan in place with Damien should I need to issue a response. We gathered early on that this new 'A' wasn't going to stop at the one article.
The second article was posted mid-flight as I was on my way to the Wolff's holiday home. This time, my performance as a driver was under criticism. Lewis, who had joined us for the Mercedes holiday, insisted that we rewatched highlights of my career to pick my mood back up. It's not like I wasn't used to criticism, however those types of comments can relight the dying embers of doubt already in my mind. Luckily I was surrounded by people poised to extinguish those flames as they arose - Toto, Susie, and Lewis, as well as Jack (although he is still a young child).
That week I spent away from Max only made me more excited to see him when we reunited despite the fact that we FaceTimed every evening before bed. The two of us spent a couple of days in Switzerland just the two of us (and the pets) catching up on little pieces of work that needed to be done. From there, we departed for our final holiday - two weeks in an Ibiza villa, the first spent alone before friends joined us for the second. It was a great chance to catch up with everyone: Vic and Tom; Bella and Marcus; Mick; Akke; Laura; Giuli; Robert; Fabio; a few of Max's friends from home. It was a full house and I loved it. The only people we were missing were Pierre and Cate, however I didn't blame him for wanting to miss out after his devastating demotion.
Looking back through the photos brought a smile to my face and I didn't want to stop scrolling through. I even swiped away notifications of text messages just so I could continue. You could just feel the love and positivity radiating in the smiles on everyone's faces. The only photo which featured a frown from me was after I emerged from the pool Max has just chucked me in, however in the very next picture it was replaced with a wide grin and laughter. There were so many pictures of Max and I that I just couldn't resist posting one as a response to shut down the rumours about us being over.
***
Liked by maxverstappen1 and 2,702,331 others
alyssaarcher the sun was in his eyes (me) ❤️
view all 1,331 comments
maxverstappen1 my brightest star ❤️
maxverstappen1 also can you please respond to my texts it's urgent
| alyssaarcher if you want lemon to keep you company come get her yourself i am not disturbing her for your selfish needs
| maxverstappen1 😢
| alyssaarcher you're literally upstairs just come down
victoriaverstappen cutest couple 🥰
just.in_bella fit fit fit
archer70fan love you two together 😍
***
"Alyssa!" Max's voice yelled from the upstairs bedroom, prompting me to put my phone down with a dramatic sigh. He could very easily just spend ten seconds walking down to the staircase at least in order for me to better hear him. Obviously not.
Before shouting back, I gently placed my hands over Murray and Lemon's delicate ears in order to protect them. "What?" I hated how strained my voice sounded whenever I yelled, however I wasn't about to disturb my sweet baby angels on either side of me just to see what Max wanted.
Even from downstairs, I heard his little giggle. "I love you!"
Is that it? I tried to be annoyed but I couldn't. The smile that worked it's way onto my face matched the one I wore in the picture I posted. "I love you, too!" I do. I really do love him. He makes my heart flutter whenever he crosses my mind, he makes my knees weak whenever his eyes meet mine, and he makes my life brighter just by being in it. I know I made the right decision at the start of the summer break - Max and I were meant to be together.
For the rest of the evening up until our appointment with Lauren finally rolled around, I caved in and moved upstairs so that I could keep Max company as he packed. I read off items from the checklist I had written so that he didn't forget anything. It was just as Max squeezed his final pair of socks into the large bag that my six o'clock therapy alarm sounded.
Max set up my laptop at the end of our bed, perched on top of a pile of books so that the camera was level with us sitting cross-legged at the opposite side. I had a hand on Max's leg at all times for comfort as we started our catch-up with Lauren. The last time we spoke to her as a couple was at the end of the first holiday we spent together on the Southern coast so we definitely had a lot to talk about. I had since had individual sessions but none where Max was present and engaging in conversation.
"...well it sounds like things are going well," Lauren concluded as I finished recounting the events of the summer. I wore a smile on my face as I moved my hand from Max's knee into his soft hand, intertwining our fingers.
"They're going very well," I confirmed.
"What do you think, Max?"
I continued to watch the screen as Lauren's eyes moved to Max, seemingly awaiting his response. His hesitation to respond and his reluctance to continue holding my hand made me pull my own into my lap and look up at him. Max's lips were slightly parted and he wore a defeated expression on his face before giving his answer. "I-I don't know, I don't think they are."
Oh?
"I-uh, would you like to elaborate on that?" Lauren was clearly taken by surprise, the same as I was. I couldn't help the frown that replaced my once wide smile and a tight feeling to form in my chest. "Why do you feel like things aren't going well?"
Max cleared his throat, dropping his gaze to his lap. I watched as his fingers scratched at a spot of paint on his jogging bottoms he had gotten from repainting his Monaco kitchen a few months ago. He was nervous. "Don't get me wrong, I am so incredibly happy and proud of the personal progress Lys has made, however I can't help but feel the only reason things are going well for us as a couple is because she's in denial."
I scoffed. "I'm in denial?"
"It just feels like you're in denial about the fact that our lives are going to completely change in a short amount of time," Max said, turning his body so that he could face me. I could feel my heart rate picking up as I held his intense eye contact to the best of my ability. "I mean, every time I try to bring up the fact that I'm going to become a father, that we're going to be parents, you just... brush it off. It can't be ignored but it feels like you are just pretending it isn't going to happen. You-you change the subject, you pretend you can't hear me, or you just blatantly ignore that I ever said anything."
"That's not true." My cheeks felt warm as I tried not to be the first to break the eye contact.
Max eventually turned away, his attention moving to the laptop. "Please, Lauren. What should we do?"
Lauren let out a soft exhale. "I was going to bring it up. Alyssa, you haven't once mentioned the twins in any of our sessions and, from the way Max has described it and what I've observed, it does feel to me that you are choosing to ignore the situation."
"I-I'm completely fine with it. Besides, it's only the middle of August, we still have, like, a couple of months at least. So what if I just want to enjoy the life I have right now before things change? It's not a crime, you know," I explained with a frown. "With the due date being so far away, I thought it would be better to spend my time worrying about my current issues and focus on my championship."
"I'm focused on the championship, too, but I'm also very aware that I have things to prepare for - that we have things to prepare for," Max replied. "I always want what's best for you, and I feel like it might be less of a shock if you actually gave it some thought. I don't want you to go to that dark place again and this all feels like an inevitable downfall for you."
"No it-" I stopped myself mid-sentence, remembering what Lauren had once told us. If Max and I were going to continue to thrive as a couple, we needed to recognise each other's points of views instead of just shutting it down straight away. "Max, I understand where you're coming from, but I'm really not going to be that person again. My meds are working. Yeah, I haven't given it much thought, but I figured there's no point worrying about the inevitable and that it's best to focus on the now. Right now, my championship lead is my biggest concern, especially with Spa coming up."
"But don't you feel like it at least deserves some of your attention?" Max argued. "I mean, we're going to be parents, Alyssa. That's not a small change. It's bigger than any responsibility we have right now and I can't do it without you. I need you to at least give it some thought so we can support each other through it. I need you to just pause for a moment and consider how I'm feeling. I need you."
"You have me."
"Do I?" Max's question caught me by surprise. Was he really doubting that? I love him more than anything and I would do anything for him, hence why I gave us another shot. "I'm giving you everything, please just at least give me something back."
"You know I love you-"
"-but will that be enough when the babies come along?"
"So w-w-what are you suggesting we do?" I asked him. I ran my bottom lip between my teeth as I then looked to Lauren. My heart was pounding in my ears at the thought of not being with Max, sending my head into a spin. "What do we do?"
Lauren cleared her throat and adjusted her position in her chair. "I think you need to take a step back and come up with a plan - together. Max is right in the fact that this cannot be ignored. The more you look at it as an issue you need to resolve, the more resentment and stress you'll feel when the babies are born. This doesn't have to be viewed as a problem. You guys are going to be parents and sure, maybe this isn't the way you guys had hoped it would happen, but it's still a miracle nonetheless. The better prepared you are for the birth, the better you'll be more likely to take it." She then pulled out a book from her desk. "Now, I know this weekend is going to be hard on the both of you for obvious reasons-" my mind went straight to Anthoine and my heart started to ache at the painful reminder of the tragic loss, "-so I'm going to say that you should wait until the race weekend is over and then we'll have another meeting. In that meeting, we're going to come up with some preparation plans to help both of you. The two of you are going to spend the full hour working towards something you're both happy with. Does that sound good?"
I shifted my focus to Max. The corners of his mouth were turned towards and he let out a sigh of, what I presumed to be, relief. This is what he wanted, so you best believe that it's what I want to.
"Yes," we agreed at the same time.
Lauren smiled. "Good. Now, I've got another client after this so I'm going to have to draw a line on our session here, but how does Tuesday sound for our next chat with you both together?"
"It works for me," I replied, and Max nodded in agreement.
"Perfect. I'll speak to you both then."
We said our goodbyes and the call ended, leaving Max and I staring at our reflections on the black screen. The two of us stayed unmoving from our spots for a few moments. My body was still tense from being called out but I didn't hold any bitterness towards Max.
"Are you mad at me?" I eventually spoke out in a soft voice.
"Mad at y-" Max interrupted himself to scoff, "of course I'm not mad at you." He moved in front of me so that he could hold both of my hands and keep eye contact. I smiled up at him as best I could with my mind racing as fast as it was. "I'm just worried, schatje. I love you so much and want you to be prepared, that's all."
"I love you, too."
"I know we're never going to feel ready for the future, but we can still do our best to be as prepared as possible. Having you by my side means more to me than you can ever imagine."
I lifted one of my hands to caress his face. "I know," I whispered, scanning his vulnerable eyes with my own. Moving up onto my knees so that our faces were level, I pressed a gentle kiss to his lips. "I promised to stick by your side and I intend to do just that."
"Thank you," he returned my kiss after he spoke. "Now, let's get some sleep. We've got to be up early tomorrow and I don't want to be grouchy if I'm tired."
I chuckled softly. "I can see the headlines now - 'Alyssa Archer ruins Max Verstappens chances for the weekend by denying him his precious beauty sleep'."
"Such a monster," he joked with a short laugh.
Before I made a move to stand up and get ready for bed, I paused. I ran my tongue between my lips and looked up at Max carefully. "So we're okay?"
I knew he wasn't lying. His blue eyes shone with adoration as he tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. "We're okay."
~***~
*not edited*
it's been a while.
if you're still here reading this, thank you. your support does not go unnoticed and you don't realise how much it means to me that people are still reading this series.
in my absence, we hit several milestones, the biggest being over a million combined reads for this book series. that's fucking insane. thank you thank you thank you.
now, a little bit into the reason for why this chapter took so long to post. there is going to be a heavy trigger warning for the next part so please do not read it if you are sensitive or if you think you might feel uncomfortable.
i'm not going to beat around the bush - i had a failed suicide attempt. my mental health hit an all time low for seemingly no reason at all. a few people knew that i was struggling with an eating disorder, which came back in full force and i lost a dangerous amount of weight. but then i gained some of that weight back and i felt disgusting about it. i turned to hurting myself in my darkest hours so now i have to cover up my arms and my thighs in order to appear as if nothing's wrong when i visit home.
am i better? no.
am i in a better place? i think so.
my road to recovery is going to be a long one. i could sit here and trauma dump everything i've been through leading up to feeling this way but i'll be here for 10,000 words. as i'm hoping you'll understand, i haven't had the time to write. right now and for the foreseeable future, my priority is going to be me. unfortunately that means that i cannot guarantee or stick to an uploading schedule. i'll write what i can when i can. at the end of the day, i won't put out a chapter that i don't think fits well with the story i'm trying to tell.
this isn't me looking for sympathy, either. i've always tried to be as open and honest about things like this especially when they're topics in my books. lying to you would be pointless and you guys deserve the truth after so long.
now, please don't hold this against me or use it to define who i am. i've had a few dms jokingly asking if i had died because of how shit i've been with updating my stories and my profile. whilst i appreciate and acknowledge that these comments are not malicious, they're still damaging. the same goes for the ones that demand an update. please can this just stop?
there's not going to be my usual qotc at the end of this chapter. it just doesn't feel appropriate when i've unloaded all of this on you. instead, i'm just asking you to keep spreading the love ❤️
thanks for sticking by my side.
this isn't the end.