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Thursday, August 12th
Malibu, California
Diamant woke up before Aurora the next morning. And she looked so peaceful that she just let her sleep.
"Good morning," Dia looked down into the girl's beautiful multicolored eyes when they finally fluttered open.
"You just been watching me sleep?" Aurora's voice came out real raspy.
"Yeah. You look so cute when you sleep."
"Aight now," Aurora smiled. "You don't gotta lie to me."
"I'm not lying," Dia wrapped her arms around Aurora and pulled her real close.
Diamant ran her fingers through Aurora's loose, silk pressed hair. She wanted to dye her naturally light brown hair jet black, and was going to before Diamant convinced her not to— thinking the almost ginger color made her multi colored eyes stand out a lot more.
"I've never felt like this with anyone before," Diamant whispered.
"Felt like what?" Aurora shifted so she could see her face.
"Felt this in love," Diamant sort of breathed the word out. "I didn't know I could ever feel this at ease in my life. Everything with you is just so... easy."
Easy is the complete opposite of what she'd use to describe her previous relationships. But being with Aurora, even in this short amount of time they've known each other, just felt so right. They work so well together, they listen to each other, they respect each other, they love each other fully, and not just because it's what they think they should do— not because they're forcing themselves to think this is what they want.
"I don't think words can accurately describe how much I love you," she couldn't stop looking down at Aurora, who's eyes were now closed as she laid against Diamant's chest.
"Because words ain't enough to describe what this is," Aurora whispered. "And even if we spend eternity together, I feel like that ain't even long enough, cause every hour with you feels like a fraction of a second because time moves so fast when you're around me."
"Well you got me for life baby. Because you my forever, Aurora."
"And you're my always, Diamant," she finally opened up her eyes and they just stared at each other for a while until Diamant bent over a bit and placed a soft kiss on her lips.
After them laying in bed for a while, they finally decided to get up, shower, and Aurora went downstairs to call her sister and make them breakfast, leaving Diamant alone in the room.
Diamant was sitting in her bed, going through emails from various brands and members of her team when her phone started ringing— which it had been doing all night. After her little kiss in the middle of the club, people had been blowing her up non stop, and she hasn't answered a single one of them. But she couldn't exactly ignore this person in particular.
She let out a deep sigh as she looked down at her mother's caller ID and picture on her phone screen. She didn't want to answer it. She knows for a fact her mom heard about last night and that is exactly what she was calling to talk to her about.
"Diamant, oh Diamant baby," Shanice started as soon as she answered the phone. "Ah waah mi see bout you kissing a gyal ina miggle of a night club?"
Shanice was talking in her very watered down Jamaican accent, meaning Dia's grandmother was somewhere near her, because that's the only time her mother ever talks like that. And by the look of the background, she was in fact at her grandmother's house, sitting in the living room.
"Good morning mommy. I'm doing great, how are you," Diamant replied with a lot of annoyance in her voice.
"Everybody ah blow up mi phone bout you dating girls now, and mi just waan know when dat happen?"
Diamant opened her mouth to respond when there was suddenly a lot of movement on the camera and then her grandmother's face was in the frame not even two seconds later.
"Yuh try fih kill me pickney!" Her grandmother dramatically exclaimed, holding a hand over her heart. "Mi wake up and see yuh face pon mi morning chat show, kissing some gyal. A waa sense is dat? Ah since when yuh fish?"
"Gran, it's not even that serious—"
"Yes it is! See, it's di music business making you think this is acceptable behavior. Yuh grown inna church Dia, yuh know dis is not right. Mi haffi pray nuff fi you. Mi haffi pray God will—"
"I don't need you to pray for me. I kissed a girl because I wanted to, not because of some evil spirit Gran."
"Oh my God!" Her grandmother dropped the phone down on the couch so Dia was now staring up at the ceiling. She could still hear her though, and her grandmother was going off, talking about how Diamant needs God, that Shanice should have never let her do music because it's caused the devil to work against her, and how unnatural it is for two women to be together.
"Mom!" Shanice sounded like she was getting annoyed. "Hold on Dia, let me call you back," she said before immediately hanging up the phone.
"Hello," Diamant answered when her mom called her back a few minutes later. She was no longer in a talking mood, and her very good morning had turned to absolute shit from a less than five minute talk with her grandmother.
"Sorry, you know how your grandmother can get. But I'm in my car now, so let's talk."
"About?" Diamant bit down on her lip. She wasn't sure how her mom would react to any of this, but she was fully expecting her to take her grandmother's side about how wrong and unnatural this all is.
"The obvious. You and Aurora."
"Well if it's so obvious, why do we have to talk about it?"
"Because you're my daughter, and these are the kinds of things I'd like to know about your life? I— I thought she was just a friend? I didn't... I'm just shocked," Shanice was at a loss for words.
"You upset? That I'm with a girl?" She felt like she was holding her breath waiting on her mother's response.
"I'm not upset that you have a girlfriend, I'm upset you didn't tell me," Shanice pouted. "I thought we were closer than that Dia?"
"I was... I was just scared to tell you. To tell anyone."
"You don't have to be scared to tell me anything baby, because I'm always gonna be proud of you and support you no matter what."
"But that stuff Gran was just talking—"
"Ignore her," Shanice rolled her eyes. "Not that it's an excuse, but she's old and don't know no better. But I'll talk to her for you, because I'll be damned if I let anyone talk to my baby girl like that— not even my mother."
"Thank you mommy," Dia sniffled, tears forming all in her eyes now.
She had a lot of mixed emotions going on inside of her. Everyone, for the most part, was extremely supportive of her, but she understands how traditional her grandmother grew up and that it would take time for her to accept it.
After talking to her mom for a while, Diamant wanted to know the types of things people were actually saying about her. She hovered her finger over the little cloud by the Twitter app, contemplating if she should do it or not. Deep down she knew it was a bad idea to reinstall the app, but she pressed it anyway, waited for it to re-download, and then typed in her username and password.
She went to her account first, seeing that Liam, her publicist/social media manager, had been posting regular updates about upcoming shows, new collaborations being released, and things about her brand deals. After scrolling through her own page, she was brave enough to go to the search tab and type her name in.
'Iridessa kissing girl' is what she typed into the search bar and what felt like a million results instantly showed up.
She scrolled through them, mostly seeing positive and supportive tweets about her being with another woman. But the more she scrolled, the less nice it got. There was one tweet in particular that wasn't so nice, and the replies were even worse.
'Why everybody wanna be gay now? Shit is so performative these days.'
'Damn, Jay Flamez broke her heart that bad that she had to run to a woman? LOL.'
'So she gay now??? That's too bad cause she too fine to be going to hell.'
'As if her music wasn't sinful enough, now she go lay up with a woman.... This poor baby needs Jesus in her life.'
And they just got worse as she kept reading through what people were saying.... much worse.
Diamant didn't even have words for what she was reading through. She just sat there in her bed, silently, as tears streamed down her face. Liam told her not to reinstall any of her social media apps on her phone. He told her that he would manage it for her so that she can take a mental break from constantly seeing criticism and hate being directed towards her, but she didn't listen. And now she regrets it.
"Why you re-download that shit," Aurora took her phone from her when she went downstairs crying. "Didn't you delete all that off your phone for a reason?"
"I — I don't know why I logged back in. But there's people in the comments literally telling me I'm gonna go to hell and that God is disgusted with me. What the fuck Rora?"
"Just ignore them," Aurora deleted the app back off of her phone. "They're just trolls. They say that shit online because they're miserable with their own lives."
"People are literally calling me all types of homophobic slurs. How can I just ignore that?"
"Well you could have, if you never opened that shit in the first place. We was having such a good morning," Aurora put on an oven mit and took the homemade biscuits she'd made out of the oven. "The shit they're saying about you shouldn't make a difference."
"It shouldn't, but it does."
"Why? You obviously knew people wouldn't support you, that's why you ain't never come out in the first place. So now that you seeing it, why are you surprised?"
"Expecting it doesn't have to mean that I'm okay with it. I'm not like you Aurora, I actually care how I'm perceived by other people. Literally my whole existence is made up of how people perceive me."
"Okay Diamant," Aurora shook her head, clearly getting frustrated with this conversation.
"Why are you mad at me right now?" Diamant was so confused.
"I'm not mad at you. I just don't see why you give a shit that people say or think about you so much."
"My whole brand is dépendant on what people think about me—"
"But what about what I think of you? Does that not matter?"
"What you think of me doesn't matter— wait, no that came out wrong," Diamant shook her head. "I just mean that—"
"Okay Dia," she just repeated again, not even wanting to hear the cleaned up version of what she was trying to say. "I gotta go check on Sage before I head to work. I'll see you later."
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Later That Night
La Ciel Restaurant, Los Angeles
"How'd you get in here?" Aurora looked up to see Diamant walking into her restaurant's kitchen. It was well after closing, and everyone had already left hours ago. It was just her and Wyatt there working on pastries for a wedding, but he had just left too.
"I caught Wyatt on his way out," Dia crossed her arms over her chest. "What you doing?" She awkwardly walked towards Aurora's work station.
"What does it look like I'm doing Dia?" She didn't even look up from what she was doing, which was piping buttercream frosting on a bunch of lavender and white macaroon cookies.
"Is this for that wedding you're working tomorrow."
"No," she answered with extreme sarcasm in her voice. "I just like to make a thousand macaroons when I'm bored and have nothing else to do."
"Can you stop with the sarcasm please? I'm trying to talk to you. You seemed pretty upset when you left this morning and I just wanna make sure you're okay."
"Oh so now you care how I feel?" Aurora put down her empty piping bag and started to pack the macaroons into white pastry boxes.
"I always care how you feel Rora. I'm sorry about how I reacted earlier. I— I shouldn't have acted like that," she said barely above a whisper. "I'm sorry I said what you think doesn't matter to me."
"Don't apologize," Aurora sighed. She realizes that she's just as wrong, if not more. "You don't gotta be sorry, I'm sorry. It's been a while since I came out, so I guess I just... I forgot how you're feeling right now. I forgot that I didn't get over the looks and comments from other people and become fully confident and comfortable in who I am for a long time. And I shoulda been more patient with you this morning. I'm sorry."
Diamant had technically just come out to the entire public world and instead of being there for her, Aurora got upset and left.
"I wanna be confidant and comfortable in who I am too," Dia went over to Aurora and pulled her away from what she was doing. "I want to be able to live my life without caring what other people think of me. And I've been getting better at it, but... when I saw all those comments online this morning, it just reminded me why I've hidden this part of me for so long. And the fact that someone really close to me doesn't support it makes it even harder to deal with."
"Yeah... I heard about what your grandmother said. Electra texted me earlier looking for you when you weren't answering her calls or messages. I'm sorry she said all that."
"Yeah, me too," Diamant tried hard not to start crying again. Strangers talking shit about her online is one thing, but her grandmother saying it directly to her face on FaceTime was another.
"But I don't want what people think of me, of this, to affect us," she held both of Aurora's hands in her own. "And I know it's gonna take time to get over my fear of what people will say about this, but I love you a whole lot more than I care what people will say. Because I don't wanna be without you Aurora."
"And I don't wanna be without you Dia. And I'm gonna do better," she whispered. "I'm gonna do better at realizing not everyone deals with stuff the same. I was talking to Sergio today and he reminded me that I gotta stop trying to force you to do things when I want you to do it."
"You ain't force anything on me—"
"Maybe not directly. But last night? Me getting upset that you wouldn't kiss me so I went to dance with someone else? That's the only reason you kissed me like you did in front of all those people. And I shouldn't have done that."
"I'm kinda glad you did though," Diamant whispered. "Because now that I'm out, I don't gotta keep hiding. And I can finally learn to stop being scared of what people are gonna say about me. Because truly... you're the only person that matters. And I don't know how I didn't realize that earlier."
"Well I'm glad we both realize the shit we needa work on. Because I wanna be better for you Dia. I wanna be the best version of myself for you. For us."
"And I wanna be the best version of myself for us too. So hurry up with your lil cookies and come home so I can show you a version of me you ain't never seen before," she brushed her thumb across Aurora's cheek.
"Home?" Aurora raised an eyebrow. She was more caught up on the fact that she said 'home' instead of 'my house' like she usually does.
"Yes. Home," Diamant kissed her on the cheek before she left.
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