Lizzie POV
It didn't take me long to go look for Aubrey. Vivian told me that the visiting time was off but she told the times that i could come around. Since her mom isn't here I'll be looking for her the time.
The uncomfortable smell of hospital and Sterilisation filled my nostrils as I walked into the intensive care unit. I've never been comfortable smelling this. It always twists my stomach but nothing is going to stop me from doing what is right and that is looking after Aubrey.
I stopped in front of her door somehow hesitating to walk in. My fear held me back but I have to see her. I walked in with my head lowered not ready to see her. I walked around her bed side concentrating on the beeping of the machines. Her hand was scratched from the crash and I took in gently into mine. She felt cold and I hate that she feels like this. She used to be so warm and tender. I could melt every time our skin touched but I don't feel it anymore.
I don't feel her.
My tears started to fall already and I didn't even look at her fully.
After some minutes warming her hand I pulled myself together looking up to her and I feel like I lost my breath. My breath hitched seeing her in this situation. The tubes that go through her mouth to keep her breathing. Her head wrapped in a Bandage from her injuries. Her collarbone connected to a splint so it can heal and her shoulder wrapped up as well. Her broken leg position a little bit higher than the other so it lays better. God she looks so fragile. Her skin is pale and almost as white as her sheets. My tears didn't stop falling and i hate seeing her like this because I can't do shit about it. My lips quiver as i was trying to pull some words together.
„Aubrey it's me Lizzie. I don't know if you can hear me or not. But I have to say anything or else I will go insane. I'm so sorry Aubrey. You have no idea how much I hate myself for causing this. I brought you into this situation and I can't even drag you out of it. I miss you and I'm so fucking terrified to lose you. I won't be able to make it. I'd rather have you in this world hating me than not having you at all."
I whipped my tears away pressing my head against my own shoulder. I didn't want to let go of her hand. She shouldn't feel cold in any way.
„I don't even know if you will remember me when you wake up. I'm scared. Scared for you. I don't know what I'm scared of the most. You waking up and don't remembering me or you waking up and hating me. I just want to fix what I broke and I'll do anything you ask for. You just have to wake up and tell me and I'll do it. Please bre."
I sat down on the chair behind me not letting lose of her hand at all. I glanced down to her lower body and then up again taking in every detail. As if I was searching for any sign that she heard me. Anything. But there was nothing. Not a single thing moved except for my hands around her. I looked back up to her taking in her still beautiful face.
„I know we broke things up but this was never my intention. I didn't want you to feel like that ever. Aubrey I know i messed up and god knows I would do anything for you to be healthy and conscious. Even if you will only scream at me." I started to traced circles on the palm of her hand.
„I just want you back. Even if it's not with me. This is all I want. Every fiber of my body regrets not telling you about Robbie. It's been over for long. Well it seemed like that to me. But if you could only wake up so I could explain myself properly."
I didn't know what to say anymore. So i just sat there and watched her and the machines. Even if I don't understand anything that has been recorded ever since I got her I still feel better to watch them both.
„Sorry to interrupt Miss." my eyes shoot up to the doctor walking in. I situated myself properly and cleared my throat.
„I'm doctor Miller. I was assisting in the operation of Miss Mathews." she offers her hand to shake and I replied with my hand shaking hers for a moment.
„I'm just here for her morning check up. I need to check her medical supply and see if I need to change anything." I nod glancing back at Aubrey.
The doctor seems to see that I am in an uncomfortable situation.
„May I ask in what relationship you stand towards Miss Mathews?" she asks trying to distract me I guess.
„It's complicated." I breathed out smiling sadly towards her.
„I'm sure she would be happy to know that you here. You seem to care a lot." she replied checking on her vitals.
„I think she hates me. I think I was the one who brought her into this accident and I can't forgive myself." I whipped my eyes trying to avoid that I need to cry in front of an doctor.
„What makes you think that?" she asks sounding curious.
„We fought before she left to drive off. I was the last one who talked to her and We ended up yelling at each other. I don't even know if she will remember me doc."
„I'm sorry to hear that." she answered after staying silent for a couple minutes.
„We can't really tell if she will remember you. Maybe she will only forget about the pervious events before the accident. We can't really know until she wakes up." she answers trying to give me hope but it's nothing promising.
I nod thanking her for talking to me and she left letting me know that she will be back to check on her in a couple hours.
I slumbered back into the chair not letting lose of her hand still holding onto it tight.
Since I didn't got any sleep in the last 24 hours my eyes started to drift off and I eventually fell asleep sitting beside Aubrey.
——
My eyes shot Up as I heard my phone buzz multiple times. It was Vivian.
„Hey is everything okay?" I asked her picking the phone up.
„Aubrey's mom is in the hospital soon. I don't think you want to meet her under these circumstances." she answered hectic and I glanced at Aubrey worried.
„Your Right. I shouldn't be here. Since I saw her father in the hospital too I don't think this is a good impression. Text me when I can come back to visit her." I pleaded and she hummed.
„I'll don't worry about that. I'll keep you updated as well if anything happens when your not there." she answers and I appreciate that she is offering this since I broke Aubrey's heart.
„Thank you. I really think I should get going before she stands in the door." I breasted out getting up.
„Yeah your right. See you around." she answered and hung up.
I glanced back at Aubrey and my heart aches knowing that I won't see her for days.
„I'll be back babe. Please get better soon." I placed a kiss on her hand and forehead stroking a strain of hair out of her face.
I left looking back once more and closed the door behind me leaving her. My mind drifted off as I walked through the halls of the hospital. It was packed and I still didn't mind any attention to my surroundings. Unfortunately I bumped into someone and I shrugged together.
I looked at up from the ground seeing the black heels with red bottom and a grey suit. The perfume was all so familiar and my curiosity grew on who I bumped into. I looked up seeing the woman I thought I'd never see again.
„Elizabeth?" her voice stern but also soft.
„Professor O'Neal?" I answered back just as shocked as she is.
„What a coincidence. How have you been?" she asks me sounding curious.
„Good thanks." i answered still in shock why my old professor stands in front of me. She didn't she at all. Still as beautiful and mesmerizing when I walked into her lecture for the first time.
She smiled gently at me nodding.
„Who are you visiting? If you don't mind me asking." she pulls me out of my mind.
„Someone really close. But I have to head to college my lecture starts in half an hour." I glanced at the clock in the wall beside us.
„At what college do you teach?" she asks.
„university of Southern California." I answered and she raised a brow at me looking surprised.
„Really? My daughter goes there as well. She is in the last semester." she answered and I smiled gently.
„Nice to know. Who are you visiting if I may ask?"
My curiosity grew on why she is here in LA.
„My daughter. She's been in an accident and I'm here to stay by her side." she answered and I nod smiling sadly at her.
„I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she will heal well." she nod smiling sadly at me.
„Me too. I've never been a good mother to her but I hope I can make up for the time I've messed up." she answered me looking down at her hands.
„I'm sure she will be happy to have you around. Anyway. I'm late for class. I should probably go." I answered setting an end to this conversation.
„Sure i don't Want to hold you back. I hope to see you again soon. And I hope your beloved one heals soon as well." she answered stroking my arm up and down.
„Yeah me too. See you around." I walked off and I stopped hearing her yell after me.
„Elizabeth!" we locked eyes once again.
„You called me by my name years ago. You can do it now as well. Since we're not in a student Professor relationship anymore." she pointed between us and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
„Sorry. I'll remember that for the next time." I answered and she nod.
„See you around Liz." I haven't heard her use this nickname in years.
„See you around Teresa." I breathed out leaving the hospital to head to college.