Just a Professor?!?

Coincidence or fate?

Lizzie POV

It didn't take me long to go look for Aubrey. Vivian told me that the visiting time was off but she told the times that i could come around. Since her mom isn't here I'll be looking for her the time.

The uncomfortable smell of hospital and Sterilisation filled my nostrils as I walked into the intensive care unit. I've never been comfortable smelling this. It always twists my stomach but nothing is going to stop me from doing what is right and that is looking after Aubrey.

I stopped in front of her door somehow hesitating to walk in. My fear held me back but I have to see her. I walked in with my head lowered not ready to see her. I walked around her bed side concentrating on the beeping of the machines. Her hand was scratched from the crash and I took in gently into mine. She felt cold and I hate that she feels like this. She used to be so warm and tender. I could melt every time our skin touched but I don't feel it anymore.

I don't feel her.

My tears started to fall already and I didn't even look at her fully.
After some minutes warming her hand I pulled myself together looking up to her and I feel like I lost my breath. My breath hitched seeing her in this situation. The tubes that go through her mouth to keep her breathing. Her head wrapped in a Bandage from her injuries. Her collarbone connected to a splint so it can heal and her shoulder wrapped up as well. Her broken leg position a little bit higher than the other so it lays better. God she looks so fragile. Her skin is pale and almost as white as her sheets. My tears didn't stop falling and i hate seeing her like this because I can't do shit about it. My lips quiver as i was trying to pull some words together.

„Aubrey it's me Lizzie. I don't know if you can hear me or not. But I have to say anything or else I will go insane. I'm so sorry Aubrey. You have no idea how much I hate myself for causing this. I brought you into this situation and I can't even drag you out of it. I miss you and I'm so fucking terrified to lose you. I won't be able to make it. I'd rather have you in this world hating me than not having you at all."
I whipped my tears away pressing my head against my own shoulder. I didn't want to let go of her hand. She shouldn't feel cold in any way.

„I don't even know if you will remember me when you wake up. I'm scared. Scared for you. I don't know what I'm scared of the most. You waking up and don't remembering me or you waking up and hating me. I just want to fix what I broke and I'll do anything you ask for. You just have to wake up and tell me and I'll do it. Please bre."

I sat down on the chair behind me not letting lose of her hand at all. I glanced down to her lower body and then up again taking in every detail. As if I was searching for any sign that she heard me. Anything. But there was nothing. Not a single thing moved except for my hands around her. I looked back up to her taking in her still beautiful face.

„I know we broke things up but this was never my intention. I didn't want you to feel like that ever. Aubrey I know i messed up and god knows I would do anything for you to be healthy and conscious. Even if you will only scream at me." I started to traced circles on the palm of her hand.

„I just want you back. Even if it's not with me. This is all I want. Every fiber of my body regrets not telling you about Robbie. It's been over for long. Well it seemed like that to me. But if you could only wake up so I could explain myself properly."

I didn't know what to say anymore. So i just sat there and watched her and the machines. Even if I don't understand anything that has been recorded ever since I got her I still feel better to watch them both.

„Sorry to interrupt Miss." my eyes shoot up to the doctor walking in. I situated myself properly and cleared my throat.

„I'm doctor Miller. I was assisting in the operation of Miss Mathews." she offers her hand to shake and I replied with my hand shaking hers for a moment.