-Troy-
"So, how's things?" Max murmured when we were left alone.
I tried not to grin, but the harder I was fighting it, the deeper my blush became. I turned my attention to Luke and Sky, who were talking about Bella and her breed. They had been so into their conversation that neither of them noticed when Max and I went to get something to drink. It seemed like they still had no idea we weren't anywhere near them anymore.
"I uh... Things are being," I said, and Max chuckled.
"But how are things being?" he continued asking, and I knew he wouldn't leave me alone before I'd give him a proper answer.
"I have no idea," I said with a sigh as we returned outside. "My head is a mess. While he was gone, I was doing fine. I didn't believe things would work out between us. I mean, I just don't think I'm gay. I've never been attracted to guys, you know? I really don't see guys that way."
"And yet..." Max trailed off and turned to look at Luke.
"Man, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he's used some kind of love potion on me," I sighed. "When he suddenly appeared behind my door yesterday, I was back to being a complete mess."
"Well, just like Sky said a while ago, I don't think it matters, right? We don't need labels, only love. If you like him, it doesn't matter if you're not into other guys. It just means that you found someone special," Max spoke quietly.
"Bro, that's way too deep for my head right now," I laughed.
"It wasn't even that deep," he laughed too, but then he fell silent before he continued. "You do like him, right?"
"Yeah..." I murmured without any hesitation. "I do."
"Then all you can do is to embrace the mess, because I believe it's just normal to be a mess at first," he said.
"Now that was deep," I said with a grin. We fell silent after that and just watched the two of them. Our boyfriends. No, no, no, no, a boyfriend and a dude. We weren't that far yet. Not even close. That's absurd. I had no idea where that came from.
"Look at them," Max sighed contently.
I did look at them, and I did find it adorable how well Luke and Sky came along now. I couldn't quite understand why Luke had hated him in the first place. Sky had been nothing but friendly towards him, and everyone else, right from the beginning, but then again, Luke was never nice to anyone. Not at first, anyway. I wondered why, though. He was a sweet guy and seemed to enjoy the company.
"Sky is bringing out the best of him," I said, feeling a bit... jealous, when Luke laughed shortly at something Sky said.
I saw Max giving me an amused look. "That's funny, I've been thinking the same about you."
"What?" I frowned and looked at him.
"Yeah, he's like a completely different person now, compared to how he was before leaving for Australia."
"I don't see any difference," I muttered.
"Well of course not, because he's always been so nice to you. And I can't believe I didn't see this coming. It was so obvious he had a crush on you."
"I hope it wasn't that obvious..." I murmured. "I feel like a complete jerk for even thinking like this, but no one can know about us. About me and him. I don't want to even think about what my dad will do if he finds out..."
"I know..." he sighed. "I don't think anyone knows about it though, besides me and Sky. We've kept our mouths shut like we promised. And if it makes you feel any better, I don't think anyone would believe Luke is gay, even if he was caught kissing another guy."
I laughed at his last words. "Yeah, you might be right. He's definitely not how I expected gays to be like."
Max chuckled for a moment, but then he fell silent and turned to glance at me. "Wait... What did you expect?"
"Well, you know... Skinny guys in crop tops who talk with a lisp and call everyone girlfriend, or big, buff guys who wear only leather and spike-collars and drive motorcycles..."
He stared at me for a moment. "Troy..." he sighed my name like he always did when I did or said something stupid. "That's not how most gays are..."
"Well, I haven't met a gay guy before," I defended myself, knowing perfectly well I'd been an idiot.
"That you know of," Max said and shook his head. "I hope you know better now."
"I do, yeah. I just never gave any thought to it, that's all," I admitted.
"I get it," he nodded and patted my back.
It was at that exact moment when it suddenly started raining. Max and I retreated deeper under the roof, while Luke and Sky called Bella and came to us. The rain was getting worse by the second, and when we stepped inside the house, it was already pouring hard.
"Where did that rain come from?" Sky laughed, closing the door. "I guess we're forced to stay indoors. I mean, if you guys still want to..."
His voice sounded so small by the time he stopped talking I didn't even consider asking Luke's opinion when I said yes. Sky was the sweetest person I had ever met, and there was no way I could say no to him, and if Luke couldn't live with that, well...
But, since he wasn't an ass, he nodded almost at the same time as me, which made me feel even better about him. I really couldn't shake the feeling I couldn't do much better than him.
*****
"This is so awesome!" I practically squealed, playing an old game Sky had. He had dug up the old Play Station from his closet, the very first one, and a couple of games, and they all were in pristine condition. Even the controllers didn't have a scratch on them! I assumed Sky hadn't played that much, or at all. I knew I was the only video game geek in that room. Only I could get so excited over an old console, but I didn't care because we all were geeks, except for Luke, who was still a wild card in our group.
"I used to play this game when I was little," Sky said. "I didn't get too far because my attention span is this big," he added, holding his index finger close to his thumb. "I did like it though."
"Crash Bandicoot..." Luke muttered the name out loud. "Seems simple..."
"You could play this too," I said without thinking how condescending I sounded.
"Yeah, if you'd actually let us play," he chuckled.
I gave him an apologetic grin, hugging the controller. "I just love it so much!"
"It's fine. We can wait for our turn," Sky said reassuringly, but I gave him the controller.
"I actually have this game at home, so I can continue when I get back," I explained and sat down next to Luke on the couch.
"Thanks," Sky said cheerily, and he and Max sat down on the floor, starting a new game.
I turned my attention to Luke, who seemed a bit sleepy. He tried to hide a yawn, and I felt bad for him. I didn't want to leave yet, but if he was tired...
"What?" he asked when he spotted me staring at him.
"Do you want to go home?" I asked quietly.
"Nah, this is fun," he said, but then he looked away to hide another yawn.
"You're tired," I noted.
"I'm always tired..."
"You say it like it's all right," I said shortly.
"I'll be fine..." he muttered. "I don't want to ruin the evening..." he added even more quietly.
I wanted to start an argument, but that wasn't me. I was more of a problem-solver, or so I wanted to believe. So, I grabbed a blanket Sky had on his couch, folded it, and placed it on my lap. Then I turned to look at him.
"You should rest," I told him, patting the blanket.
"I'm fine," he said nonchalantly, but I kept staring at him without saying a word. I wasn't sure why he was being stubborn, and that made me realize I still didn't know much about him. I knew more than others, yes, but that wasn't much. He sure as hell didn't like people to know anything about him.
I kept tapping the blanket with my fingers, trying to lure him to give up. A thought popped into my head, and I had to fight myself so I wouldn't start laughing. Sky often referred us to a pack of wolves, and at that moment, I pictured myself taming a wild wolf. Or at least trying to get him used to me. For some reason, that didn't seem so far off.
He was glaring at me with squinted eyes, not quite facing me. Eventually he sighed and relaxed, slowly moving to lie on the couch, using my lap as his pillow. He was way too tall for the two-seated couch, so his legs were hanging off the armrest. It took him a moment to find a good position, and when he finally stopped moving, he gave me a slightly annoyed look. He was faking it, I was sure of it.
"You need to rest," I said again, but he didn't close his eyes – they were still fixated on mine. I put my hand over them, and I could feel his brows turning into a deep, deep frown. I was holding my laugh when I removed my hand, and he was still watching me, only this time his expression was clearly asking me what the hell I was doing.
"Come on, close your eyes," I chuckled and planted my hand back over his eyes. His lashes tickled my skin as he continued blinking, so I knew he wasn't going to obey me. "Pretty please?"
He probably did close his eyes, because he stopped blinking, but the frown still remained.
"You, sir, are stubborn," I mumbled, and he accidentally let me see his tiny smile. It vanished as fast as it had emerged, but it was too late for him – I knew he was having fun.
I moved my hand on his cheek and caressed his brow with my thumb. He slowly seemed to forget he was supposed to act stubborn. His frown melted away and his body relaxed while his breathing grew steadier and deeper. Watching him was fascinating, which was weird, actually. Like, he was another human being, a guy I had known for a couple of years now, and was just literally lying there and breathing.
It wasn't supposed to be anything fascinating at all, and it still was. This guy liked me. He was in love with me. Me, of all people. This guy every girl in our school lusted after. He found my stupid laughing fits lovable. I was the light in his darkness. He gave me warm smiles and caring hugs and I was the person he just had to see, even after he had spent the past thirty hours traveling.
That guy promised to be mine, and that was what made everything about him fascinating.
I forgot we had company – just like I had when we kissed in front of our friends – so when Sky suddenly spoke, I almost got spooked.
"Is he asleep?" he asked in a low voice. "We can be quiet."
I looked closely at Luke, who at least did seem to be sleeping. "It's fine. He sleeps better if there's familiar noises."
"How do you know that?" Max asked.
"I uh... I spent the night at his place," I explained and blushed a little.
"Ohh..." Max smirked. "Did you guys have fun?"
I was about to laugh, but then I remembered everything Luke's mom had told me about him, and the nightmare he had. The guy who had promised himself to me was suicidal. I'd been trying to ignore that thought the entire day, but it had stuck with me like a drop of blood on a white shirt. He kept saying he was fine, that he was doing better, but still he dreamed about killing himself.
"Troy?"
I turned to look at Max, who had a worried look in his eyes. Luke probably didn't want anyone else to know about what was going on with him, so there was nothing else I could say, except that things were fine.
"Okay," Max nodded, but I knew him. He knew me. Even Sky looked like he didn't believe me, and I was fine by it. I was just worried Luke would get mad at me if I revealed his secrets – after all, I had promised not to tell anybody about them.
Sky and Max turned their attention back to the game, but Bella was suddenly up on her feet. She had been sleeping on a dog bed Sky had in the corner of his room, but now she walked to the couch, sat down next to it, and placed her head on my arm on the armrest. She looked up at me and wagged her tail slowly with her ears pinned down. I had never seen her so calm before.
"Hey, girl. What's up?" I asked, trying to get back in the cheerier mood, but it proved to be useless.
She let out a quiet mumble, not a whine and definitely not a growl, like she was literally mumbling something.
"I don't speak dog," I told her apologetically.
"She's trying to cheer you up," Sky said. "She does that when people are sad."
"How do you know?" I asked and patted her head.
"You're sad, aren't you?" Sky answered with a question.
I didn't answer him, because it was obvious to both of them. Bella stayed next to me for a long time without moving an inch. She kept mumbling at me and licked my hand a couple of times. I scratched her behind the ears, which she seemed to enjoy. I wondered how many times she had been there to comfort Luke in his darkest moments.
"My God, Bel, your breath stinks..." Luke suddenly groaned sleepily and turned his head away from her. Bella stood up and started wagging her tail faster, and moved around the couch to lick Luke's face. "Oh, come on! I'm awake, see? I'm awake..."
Luke turned his head back toward me, trying to shield his face from doggie-kisses, and spotted me. He kind of froze, like he was surprised to see my face so close to his, and started smiling. That sweet moment didn't last any longer than that, since Bella had decided to get all of his attention and jumped on the couch. I assumed by the sudden, agonized look on Luke's face that she was quite a heavy dog.
"Goddamn dog!" Luke gasped and grabbed her, making her lie down so she would stop digging her paws into his guts.
Sky, Max, and I all started laughing long before things finally calmed down. The small couch was definitely not big enough for the three of us; Luke was lying on me, and Bella was lying on him, snuggling her head under my armpit so she could try to lick Luke's face again.
"Sorry about that," Luke muttered, keeping her head away from his face.
"The more the merrier," I said and petted Bella's head. Her tail never stopped moving, and she seemed quite proud of herself. She tried to give me a kiss as well, but the ankle was wrong, so all she managed to do was to touch my nose with hers. "Bella agrees."
Luke gave me a smile before stretching his legs, trying not to disturb Bella. Then he took my hand in his and placed it on his cheek. To swipe Bella's snot off his skin.
"Eww!" I squealed and pulled my hand away while the others laughed. Even Luke was laughing, and he didn't stop even when I dried my hand on his hoodie. "You're not that funny," I told him, but couldn't help but chuckle.
"I'm a little funny," he smirked, shrugging his shoulders.
There it was again, a warm smile and shining eyes. It was a good sign. At least I hoped so.
"Okay, okay, maybe a little," I chuckled, feeling happier again.