Sloane Beck
He was acting weird.
I woke up to fresh air and the sunlight warming my face.
The air was cold but my pillow made me feel warm. My pillow raised and lowered with every breath it took and I felt its heartbeat thump underneath me. Slowly opening my eyes, I realized that we had spent the night together, on the rooftop of Charlie's bakery.
It smelled of fresh dough underneath me. The morning sky was unforgiving to my bright blue eyes, I had to squint a few times to be able to see clearly. It was cold outside, you could see the condensation off of buildings.
You could hear horns from angry cab drivers in the city. You could hear sirens, you could hear the whole nine yards. But no sound was as prominent to me as Blake's heartbeat.
Sitting up, I looked down at the angelic-like sleeping boy.
He was so peaceful when he was with me.
Leaning down, I placed a kiss on his lips to wake him up. His cheeks were rosy and red and his lips slowly kissed me back, his lips formed into a smile. "Morning," I pulled away speaking to him.
Finally opening his eyes, his blue irises shined at me. "Morning beautiful," His voice was raspy and nearly had me weak in the knees. I was a lucky girl—what could I say?
"How'd you sleep?" I asked as he chuckled, rubbing his eyes. "Would be better if my girlfriend didn't snore like a fucking siren." I gaped at him as he laughed. "I do not snore!" I denied him as he shrugged, a grin on his face like no other.
"We'll agree to disagree, princess." He teased. I hovered over top of him, staring into his eyes as he rest his arms behind his head. His biceps were flexing as I saw all of his tattoos up close.
"I love you," I spoke without intending.
Getting red in the face at my word vomit, he smiled. "I love you too." He answered me, making me feel not as bad. Kissing me on the lips, he flipped us over my back was laying against the hard rooftop.
I squealed as he kissed my neck, his tongue leaving trails all over me—the warmth of his tongue giving me goosebumps as soon as the cold air hit the wet spots. Grabbing my chin, he smashed our lips together, in a fiery passion.
His lips were an addiction, big and plump—made just for me to love. Pulling on his bottom lip with my teeth, he moaned as I sucked on it. Releasing it, I let it fly back to his own mouth.
Pulling away from me, we stared at each other—out of breath and our lips were red and swollen. I giggled as he held himself up over the top of me, he gave me a smirk. "You sure you're not a Russian princess? I'm pretty sure your name could easily be Anastasia." I hummed at his words before shaking my head.
"Do I look like a princess?" I teased as he nodded before throwing his head back laughing. "Kiss me, my prince." I continued as he bent down, connecting our lips again—this time with more force to it.
I gasped as his hand wrapped around my throat and then slowly traveled down to my legs, spreading me wide open. He placed himself in between my center and slowly grinded into met—a whimper leaving my mouth as his tongue entered my mouth.
Pushing against me harder, I adjust my hips so I was meeting his thrusts. "Fuck me," I moaned to him. Pulling back, from me—he smirked at my body that was below him, desperate for him.
"Fuck you?" He teased.
I nodded. "You want me to fuck you?" He continued. His thumb slid up to my mouth, placing itself in between my lips, forcing me to suck on it. Grinding back into me, I bit down on his thumb as I felt the erotic pleasure of his erection pressing into me through clothing in ways that I didn't think were possible.
I smashed my head against the roof, looking up to the sky as he continued to annihilate me with clothing on. "It feels good? Yeah?" He teased, meeting my eyes.
Nodding, he winked at me before pulling my pants down, slightly pulling his down, he angeled as he entered me. We both gasped as he slipped inside of me so easily.
He kissed my forehead as I stopped him. "No—fuck me, seriously, fuck me." He chuckled before nodding. "If you're sure," He spoke cockily.
Without any warning, his hand wrapped around my throat so roughly that I knew I would have fingerprint marks. I moaned as he started to violently pound in me while still being on top. It was so fast, so deep that I couldn't even keep up with him.
"Take it," Blake moaned as he looked down in between his hand smashing my airways and his dick inside of me, us connecting.
"I can't," I moaned out tears in my vision because the friction was something so intense. I felt lightheaded at the fact that I couldn't breathe with his hand on my throat—and something about it made the pleasure more intense.
"Oh my god," I yelled through a moan as he started to rotate his hips inside of me. My legs came up, wrapping themselves around his waist. This only encouraged him to move rampant inside of me.
"Oh my fucking god," he finally let go of my neck as I lifted my head, watching the speed of him entering and exiting me. "Slow down, slow down." I cried as I felt my spot being hit.
I felt him starting to lose himself, his thrusts picking up faster—him connecting inside of me harder. "I feel you in my fucking cervix," I moaned, my voice sounding whiny. My walls started to squeeze around him. "I'm cumming so hard right now," I cried as I felt the pleasure inside of me.
"Oh my god, oh my god." I continued to cry as I felt him thrust into me twice more before he stopped moving inside of me. I was drinking all of him, my entire body shook as I had a deep cervical orgasm. I had never had one before—I had never heard of them.
But I guess when you hook up with someone like Blake Day- you experience every emotion possible.
"Let go of me Blondie," He teased as my walls were still squeezing him, and my legs were still wrapped around him. I moaned as he pulled out I couldn't describe the feeling.
Chuckling over top of me, I hummed, unable to move from the powerful, full-body pleasure I just had from the man I loved the most. Grabbing his tie from his shirt pocket he wiped me up, chuckling.
"Let's hope that the birth control catches that," He teased as I nodded—still on cloud nine.
"We should get a plan b still just in case, I'm almost positive your pregnant at this moment." He continued speaking. My fingers came up to his hair, running through it.
"I can't get pregnant if I'm not ovulating," I spoke groggily as he scoffed. "Yes, you can, dummy." He teased but then he froze.
In a panic, he started to move a million miles an hour. "What? What is it?" I asked trying to calm him down.
"What time is it?" He asked, freaking out, looking everywhere for his phone—he finally located it before cursing under his breath. Furrowing my eyebrows, he pulled up his pants, covered me up, and then rushed to get up. "Calm down," I reached for him but he pulled away.
"I have to go, I'm late. I'm like three hours late. I had to be up for this interview at 4:30 and it's literally almost eight in the morning. I forgot fuck, I forgot!" He rushed out, I gave him a confused look as he went to walk down the stairs.
"Blake?" I called out his name as he started to freak out.
He reached into his back pocket before pulling out a few hundred-dollar bills. I froze, shaking my head as he tried to hand them to me. "No you asshole, what are you doing?" I couldn't believe this.
"I have to go, here's money—get a cab and some food. I love you," Continuing to shake my head in shock, he got impatient with me not collecting the money and threw it down at me.
"What the hell is wrong with you! Stop! Your mood swings are hurting my feelings right now!" I yelled frustrated at him. How could you act like this after sharing a moment like that?
"I'm sorry, I have to go." He rushed out. Standing up, I felt dizzy from all of the movement. "I don't need your money—just don't act like this! Wait—I will come with you!" I chased him down the steps he grabbed a helmet before shaking his head.
Giving him a hurt look, he froze.
"Blake?" But deep down, I knew. I knew.
"No," My voice was a higher octave. What the hell was he doing—what was he thinking?
He was trying to leave me—I knew it.
Getting to the bottom step, I froze as he walked towards me. Tears were already pooling in the bottom of my eyes. "Don't do this let me come with you," I spoke—pleaded to him.
Gripping my chin in his fingers, his face was stone—away from his emotions but I could see it in his eyes—god damnit I could see it. "What are you so afraid of! Don't do this!" I cried to him.
How did everything change within a matter of minutes?
Wiping my tears with his thumbs he placed a kiss on my lips, when he pulled away, he wrapped his arms around me—hugging me.
"Take the money—I love you," He whispered.
Choking out a sob—I pushed him away. "So what? Your dad wins and now you break up with me? Or leave me? Is that what you're doing—what even are you doing!" I yelled at him hitting his chest with full force.
Grabbing my wrist, he gave me a small smile before placing the money in my open palm, slowly closing it. "I'm doing what is best for us," He stepped away and placed the helmet on his hand.
Stepping towards him, he shook his head at me. His eyes were stone cold.
I stood in front of the motorcycle making sure he wasn't leaving. "You're a fucking coward. A coward Blake Day, get off the motorcycle and let's go together. Do not leave me here, I don't deserve that. You just got done fucking me—telling me how much you love me, and now you're leaving me? Claiming that it's better this way! You're a coward and a raging fucking psychopath!" I yelled at him.
My heartbeat was heard in my ears as I felt the rage that was inside of me coming out.
Without responding, he turned on the motorcycle, put up the kickstand. Realizing there was nothing I could say or do at that moment, I chuckled as the tears rolled down my cheeks. What the hell was he thinking?
He wasn't thinking—that was the problem.
Stepping aside, I waved for him to pass by me. Without a second glance, he released the clutch of the bike and sped off leaving nothing but me and his money in his past. But he took a piece of my heart with him.
"Fuck you," I muttered.
"Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you!" I screamed, my voice cracking.
What happened to never leave me, Blake? What happened to me being the best thing that had ever happened to you? What happened in the last 24 hours that made you change your mind about me?
I had no phone on me, no shoes, I had a hair tie—and I had Blake's money—and his chain. His beloved chain. Realizing that there was no time to waste— he was coming back to me, no matter what had to be done.
Storming down the alleyway in the early morning, I didn't look any different than the homeless people in New York, New Yorkers didn't even stop to give me a second glance—it was comforting in some fucked up way.
Stupid fucking asshole.
Tries to leave ME—Sloane Fucking Beck!
Are you shitting me right now?
I was going to find Blake Daniel Day and make him kiss the ever-living shit out of the ground I walk on. Who the hell did he think he was? To give me a promise ring? To make all of these promises and then try to leave me?
Did I look like someone to mess with?
Looking at the street signs I froze. Luckily—I grew up in the manhattan area. I knew where I was, it wouldn't take me that long to get to his penthouse on foot. However, I knew he would probably be already at his penthouse.
Walking? No, I was sprinting down 57th street weaving in between the yoga moms who were walking their dogs. Kids who had backpacks on and school uniforms gave me funny looks as a homeless-looking person was running down 'Billionaires Row'.
Fuck you, Blake Day.
Catching my breath, I walked into the lobby of his apartment building, realizing how much of an outcast I really was. The marble floor in the lobby looked tainted as my dirty feet marched across it to get to the elevator.
Nobody was going to stop me from beating this rich republican son of a bitches ass.
"Miss Beck!" I heard someone call my name. I narrowed my eyes, snapping my head towards the voice. Squinting my eyes I recognized the bitch, Lola, standing right next to the couch with my luggage.
Storming over to her, she smiled at me. A sinister smile, as if she didn't know what she was doing although she fucked my boyfriend.
Ex-Boyfriend?
"Here is your luggage Mr. Day left with me," She smiled before pulling out an envelope. Reaching inside she pulled out a key, "Here is a key for your hotel room. In your room, you'll find all of the instructions for your plane ride tomorrow." I felt my heart clench as I read 'Sloane' that was written on the envelope.
His handwriting.
How long had he been planning on leaving me?
How long had he planned on dragging me along?
Grabbing my luggage from her, I decided to not be the petty bitch my heart was telling me deep down to be. Offering her a fake smile, I walked towards the elevator.
I had a feeling—maybe he was planning on proposing to me?
He was playing a cruel prank—would he be down on one knee as I got back up to the hotel room?
God—if only he would just COMMUNICATE with me!
Pressing the button on the elevator, I watched as the door shut, leaving me alone with my thoughts. Fuck you Blake if this was some sick prank.
Stopping on the floor, I exited the elevator and walked down the hallway. Stopping in front of the door numbered 333. Taking a deep breath, I brought the key up to my door, he could be on the other side of this door—down on one knee like a sneaky little fuck.
Slowly turning the knob, I felt my stomach move with it—filled with hope.
But hope can be false as I opened the door and nobody was on the other side. Stepping inside, I pulled my luggage to the side. Closing the door behind me, I peeked around the normal-looking hotel sweet. A bathroom, a bed, a television. However, laid on the bed was another envelope—much to my disappointment matched the other one that I had just gotten handed.
Mustering up the courage, I walked over to the bed, sitting down before picking up the envelope that had Blakes handwriting on it. Slowly opening, I pulled out a piece of paper.
Cupping my hand to my mouth, I swallowed hard trying to push back the tears that were inevitable at this point.
"Dear Sloane,
By the time you are reading this, you have already woken up in my bed this morning—alone. There is a reason for that. There are people in our life that we meet for a reason. My reason for meeting you?
Because I needed to show me there was a reason why I was living—and that reason was you.
I always tell you this but I could never tell you enough how much you mean to me—and how much you always will. Before you I wasn't living life—I was struggling through it. Life wasn't life. I would wake up party—and then sleep with random girls.
However, you taught me how to live. You taught me that living wasn't just breathing—living was seeing, living was loving, living was smiling. Living was realizing that I was wrong about many things including how I initially thought about you.
You crazy, beautiful, amazing girl.
You haven't even met all of the people who are going to love you yet.
I never deserved you.
That's why this morning—when you wake up alone, and you're reading this message you need to understand that I'm letting you go to be free right now. I'm letting you go because I don't know what life will be like for me within the next eight years.
I'm letting you go because you should be free than to be tied down to me. Someone who is going is miserable without you, but it will give me peace knowing that you weren't stuck with someone who is associated with someone like my father.
I never planned on doing this—I thought my father wasn't going to win.
But I need to do what's best for us and say goodbye for now.
I love you so much—thank you for showing me how to live.
Forever my girl,
Blake."
I released a sob, tucking my knees to my chest as I read the goodbye letter. How could he do this to me? He wasn't planning on taking me out last night? But he was still planning on leaving me?
What the hell did this even mean? And for me to wait for him!
Setting the note aside, I cried into my hands as I cried to calm myself down. My heart was beating at a million miles a minute, but then I remember—my purse. Crawling over the bed, I grabbed my purse that was sitting on top of my suitcase. I grabbed my phone—immediately calling Naomi.
"Hello?" Her voice rang out. I let out a sniffle, "He just left me." I cried.
Hearing her gasp was all the information I needed to know that this was a shock to her too. He must've decided not to tell anyone. "What! Are you kidding me! Why?" She pestered me with questions before hearing her call for Matti.
"He left me a goodbye note saying it's for the better but like—this isn't for the better. I feel so dumb—I feel like I was left incomplete. Like where is the sympathy for me!" I exclaimed.
I heard her and Matti mumbling on the other end of the line.
"Where is he at?" Matti asked me. I cleared my throat, "I'm assuming in his penthouse considering his assistant was waiting for me down in the lobby with all of my stuff that he had removed." I choked out.
"We spent the night together on a roof top- he threw money at me this morning and then left me in an alleyway! Who does that! You don't do that to someone you're in love with! I thought I was going to be proposed to!" I continued to cry—my headache was so loud.
I was heartbroken.
I was confused.
I had questions that needed answers.
"Third floor, there's a row of plants at the end of the hallway. The one on the very far left, underneath there is a key to Blake's penthouse. We always kept it there in case we were drunk in the city and forgot his keys somewhere. Go get it—get into the apartment and I want you to go into the wine pantry and smash all of his alcohol. Smash the hell out of it—it's his prized possession. He's been keeping it for years." Matti gave me instructions.
Chuckling through my tears, I nodded—even though he couldn't see me. "Thanks, Matti, I love you both." They bid me good luck and I took off running.
Still, in the same attire from last night, I recognized that I was on the third floor already. Looking around the hallways until my eyes laid focus on a table of plants I went to the one that was far on the left. Feeling around, my eyes beamed with glory as I felt my hand come in contact with the copper key.
Once it was in my hands, I walked to the elevator, entering the key, and waited.
I felt the elevator go up all the way up, and then stop.
I took a deep breath as the doors silently opened without a ding, letting me tiptoe through the Pent House that I was now, not welcomed at. I continued to look around, not hearing anything until I walked near his bedroom. It wasn't his bedroom where there was noise coming from—it was his office.
Many voices.
Many people.
Great—I don't think all of these people want me to barge in on a conversation—do they?
"You got what the fuck you wanted so just leave, dad." I heard Blake yell. "You're so fucking full of shit—literally full of shit!" Blake continued to yell. I raised an eyebrow as I pressed my ear to the wall against the door.
"Oh come on Blake! Think about this buddy! We are technically running the damn country. Do you know how badass that is! This is what we wanted." Rob spoke—I narrowed my eyes.
Power-hungry douchebag.
"This isn't what I wanted dad!" Blake yelled.
I heard laughter emit from the room.
"You think I voted for you? Do you honestly think I voted for you? You're a piece of shit to mom and me! Why would I want someone who doesn't even treat their families right as president! Huh?" My mouth dropped open as I heard Blake say the one thing I never thought he would ever admit.
Holy fuck—he wasn't a republican.
Hearing something slam, the room went quiet. "You're a piece of shit dad, and you just ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me. Fuck you," Walking away from the door—I entered his bedroom. Sitting on the rug, I tried not to listen to much more of the drama as it was sending me into a panic attack.
Within the past hour:
He left me in an alleyway.
He broke my heart.
He left me a goodbye note.
He wasn't a republican.
Blake was confusing—but I didn't know he was that confusing.
Hearing the door open, I curled more to the left, hoping whoever was coming out of that office wouldn't see me. I heard many voices exit down the hallway—including Blake's. Slowly creeping out of the bedroom, I tiptoed down the hallway—very quiet on my feet.
I heard as everyone piled into the elevator, but not everyone.
"You could've said no, Blake," Rob spoke as Blake chuckled. "I could've said no—do you not understand how fucking stupid you sound!" He exclaimed.
Hearing the elevator doors close—I expected the conversation to be over but it wasn't.
"You're the one who gave us the information Blake! You could've said no! You could've never gotten to have known the girl Blake! You didn't have to help us—why did you? Because you were selfish! You wanted to rat her out. You wanted to use her as damage control." Rob's words were undermining, but had a hint of cockiness and grin to them.
What?
"You didn't have to tell us everything she told you. Sloane could've gone on with her day-to-day life—but because you wanted an advantaged—you used her, Blake! She isn't my problem—she was always yours. You could've said no to operation damage control- but you went through with it after we discussed it!" My vision was blurry as I tried to catch my breath.
What?
"Would you shut the fuck up dad! I know I did it to her! I know I did! Shut the fuck up!" I stumbled backward, smacking into a vase—I tried to catch my balance, but as soon as the ceramic vase shattered so did I.
I felt my skin become open as I landed on the broken pieces.
Now under the eyes of both of the Day men staring at me—I couldn't look them in the eye. I couldn't look either of them in the eye knowing what they did to me—what possible horrific drama they did to me.
Blake knew about how bad my mental health was.
Blake knew I was having the worst problems with food.
Blake knew everything.
He mocked me to the tabloids—he exploited me— he potentially ruined me for the entire world.
Just for his benefit.
Finally locking eyes with him, tears were silently streaming down my face as he took a step towards me, shock written all over him. But bigger than shock was sadness and disappointment.
Why were you sad Blake Day? Isn't this what you wanted? 'Damage Control'?
Standing up, I felt blood running down my arms from the open cuts. "Sloane—I can explain," He tried to rush out, shaking his head at me trying to grab me as I wavered. I was having a panic attack trying to swallow my uneven breathing.
Standing in front of him, I reached up to my neck before wrapping my hand around his chain that he let me wear. Ripping it off of my neck, I placed it in his hands.
"There, now you've broken three things today. Your chain, your promises, and my heart." I choked out a sob as I walked towards the elevator, slamming into Rob Day.
Fuck You, Blake Day.
You're not alone in your battles- please seek help. My messages are always open.
Information about eating disorders.
If you need to seek help, please do. You're not alone!
National Eating Disorder's Association Helpline: 1-800-931-2237
Crisis Textline:
Text CONNECT to 741741
Depression and anxiety are serious issues that should be addressed. We need to end the stigma around them, I love you all. Don't feel ashamed ever to be depressed or have anxiety.
The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is: 1-800-273-8255
If you are having thoughts about harming yourself please talk to someone- my messages are always open and my comments are always open as well.
The stigma around mental health must end!
Hey besties!
Take time to process- reread the chapter-i love u all.
Blake loves you all.
Sloane loves you all.
I hope nobody is too heartbroken, I love you all and I thank you all for your support. I could kiss you.
Stay Safe!
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