I blinked open my eyes due to the morning sun rays which fell right on my face.
"Good morning, princess"
I heard the voice which I always wanted to hear.
Still closing my eyes I gave Jungkook a weak smile snuggling more closer to his body.
"Morning"
He tightened his grip around my waist and removed the strands of hair which fell onto my face.
I was still closing my eyes and enjoying every single moment passing.
"Wake up, princess. You have work. Remember?"
He whispered closer to my ear which earned a reluct from me.
"Another 5 minutes"
I heard him chuckling at my response.
"I can't go"
"You have to"
"Aren't you going? You have to go as well"
"This is the thing Hana. Being a CEO of a company and being a psychologist is two completely different things"
Jungkook said with a mocking tone.
"Should I take it as a compliment?"
This time I asked him opening my eyes and looking right in his eyes, slowly moving my hand into his cheek and caressing it.
"Of course it's a compliment princess. Only I know how proud I am to say my wife is a psychologist"
I chuckled at his response and hugged him more tightly.
"And I'm so proud to say I'm your wife"
Jungkook took me more closer to his embrace with the most beautiful smile on his face.
"I'm not going for work today"
"Not going? Are you feeling sick?"
I asked placing my hand on his forehead immediately.
Jungkook took my hand away from his forehead and intertwined his fingers with mine.
"No baby. It's just you know today's Mia's holiday right?"
Oh God. Today is Mia's holiday. I forgot it.
"I forgot it" I said half crying.
"Why are you so cute?" Jungkook said smiling which earned a light hit on his chest from me.
"So I'm planning to spend my day with her today. You know we both rarely spend time together and she needs sometimes with her dad"
"Should I also join both of you?"
I asked with the eagerness of spending my time with my family.
"Can you?"
"Mm...I'll tell Doctor Choi to take care of my patients today"
He hugged me more tightly with a smile.
"Great. I'm having a full day with my beautiful wife and daughter"
I chuckled and snuggled closer to him. I can stay like that forever.
"Honey, can you bring Mia here? So we all can sleep together for anoth-"
"Mommy...."
I heard the most cutest voice ever. I turned my gaze onto my cutie away from Jungkook.
"Hey Angel...Good morning" Jungkook stood up from the bed and went closer to Mia to get her into his arms.
"I want to sleep with mommy" Mia said hugging Jungkook's neck.
"My baby missed me? Come here." I sat on the bed and widened my arms to get Mia into my warm embrace from Jungkook's.
I laid on the bed again with Mia in my embrace.
"Let's sleep" Jungkook said while laying beside us and hugging me and Mia.
Mia drifted into sleep in no time hugging me more tightly.
"Looks like she missed you" Jungkook whispered while caressing my cheek.
I gave him a smile while hugging Lia.
"I love you Hana"
"I love you too Jungkook"
I slowly opened my eyes. A tear fell down from my eye drenching the pillow I was laying.
I looked around only to find myself in my room under the warm blankets.
But it felt cold. No matter how warm it was, at that moment I felt cold.
I slowly sat up on my bed and wiped the tears which were rolling down from my face.
Waking up early in the morning with tears rolling down from my eyes has been my usual way of waking up now.
I'm so tired of it. I'm crying over him every day knowing he won't come again.
Why am I crying for him?
Finally after all, my mind asked that simple question which had a deep meaning behind it.
Everything is true. He won't come back again. I won't see him again. I won't be in his embrace ever again.
But why am I crying?
Yeah, I love him and all those realities hurt so painfully.
But why? Crying won't make anything better.
Jungkook saved me that day. To make me live again. He gave me a life to live. But what am I doing now? I'm not living my life. I'm just suffering, making me want to do that thing again.
Am I not living that life again, where I was with that woman?
Did he save me for this? Gave me a life for this?
No. He didn't.
Then should I do that again? No, it won't get me to him.
My mind, my body, my whole soul said that one thing which had changed my whole life.
I should live. I should live my life.
For him. For myself.
I'm lucky. Though it for a short time I felt his love. For the first time in my life I felt like I've being wanted because of him.
Isn't it great?
I still have his love with me. So can't I move on from this?
Letting go of someone is not easy. It never was, specially if that person means the whole world to you. Like how Jungkook means to me.
But it does not mean that we can't let go of them. We can. We obviously can let go of them.
It's not like we can hold on them forever. We have to let go of them sooner or later.
His death left me with an unbearable, indescribable pain. But the love he gave me is above all those.
While his death left me with an unbearable pain, his love left me with a feeling that no one could ever steal from me.
He made me feel special. Even it for a day.
He sang a beautiful song for me only I could hear.
While my heart sang a song only he could hear.
I'm going to live.
Again.
For me.
For him.
For ourselves.