I'm mentally beating myself senseless right now. I AM SO SHIT AT UPDATING!!!!! Why is it that as soon as it's the holidays and I have all the time in the world to update that my body just goes NA and won't let me leave the couch/bed/shower?!?! WHY?!?!
Hopefully when I go back to school in February I can create a weekly update schedule like I had before. Most likely Wednesdays and Saturdays. Fingers crossed.
On a brighter note, I went camping recently and there were these two insanely hot dudes that decided to hang out with my family for the whole eight days. That doesn't happen to me every day!
I got distracted by a suspicious lump on the driveway. It was only a hedgehog, but it freaked me out when it sneezed!
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That's it!!! I thought as I stormed into my room and grabbed the nearest shoe I saw which happened to be a jandle (I believe Americans call them Flip Flops) I am going to beat that thing to a pulp!!!
I ran back the way I'd came, passing Christina, Chelsea, Louis and Zayn on the way. I arrived back in the lounge to find it deserted, free of movement.
"Come out come out wherever you are," I sang, gripping the jandle tightly as I looked for my victim.
"Harry! What'd you do this time?!" I heard someone yell from behind me.
"I didn't do anything!!" he protested, emerging from the kitchen.
My head snapped around at the movement and I felt a creepy grin erupt on my face as I spotted my target. I raised the jandle as I walked towards him.
"Woah, Kate..... What are you doing?" he said, backing away slowly. I continued to approach him. I suddenly burst into a run and he shrieked (in a very unmanly way) as I ran straight at him..... Before jumping around him and slamming the jandle on the wall.
"YYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!" I yelled, fist pumping in victory. I lifted the jandle to reveal.... a rather squashed looking fly. "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW?!?!?! HUH?!?! HUH FLY, HUH?!?! THAT'S RIGHT, ME!!!!"
"So when you yelled 'This means war' you were talking about a fly?" Chelsea asked in disbelief.
"I don't know why you're surprised," I said. "It was all like Look at me, I'm an itty bitty fly and I'm just gonna fly around your head and annoy the shit outta ya just because I can! Do you know how annoying that is?!?!" I yelled, grabbing onto her shoulders and shaking her.
"Yes, but I don't use a jandle." Chelsea replied, shaking my hands off. "I'm classy and use Niall's shoes instead. That way, mine don't get fly guts on them."
"That is actually a really smart idea." I said. I was about to say something when the sound of opera singing filled the air.
"Is that.... Claudia?" Christina asked.
"Oh yeah! I forgot I made that my ringtone!" I said and ran back into the lounge and dived onto the couch to grab my phone. 1 New Message from Mint Sauce. Oooo, a message from dear darling mother!
Okay, I'm drunk now. Happy New Year and remember, never give bananas to camels! I worry about her sometimes.
"Who loves you?" Christina asked.
"My mum," I answered, reading the text to them. "You know, mum was never like this when I was a kid. I think I'm rubbing off on her!"
"2013 has begun!" Chelsea yelled. "I'm gonna celebrate by making me some toast."
I shot mum a text saying that I was still living in the past and to make sure she didn't lose her Sexy Bitch wine glass this year (she lost it at the start of 2012) I then proceeded to stick one earphone in and play some music. Summer Paradise by Simple Plan came on. I haven't listened to this in ages!
I was a good minute and a half into it when then was a startled yell and a few bangs and crashes from the kitchen. I sat up as Chelsea stuck her head out the door.
"So I may or may not have just set the toaster on fire..." she said sheepishly.
"Well did you put it out?"
"What do you take me for? A Sim? I'm not gonna let the house catch on fire then just stand there and scream at it!" she retorted.
"As a matter of fact I do actually."
She just rolled her eyes and ducked back into the kitchen, probably to clean up the mess. I sighed, already bored of music. I grabbed my iPad and logged onto Twitter.
My Twitter hadn't changed at all. I think it may be the most invisible Twitter in the existence of Twit-land. I checked Chelsea's and Christina's. They were the same as mine. Nothing new or interesting.
Then I checked the trends. #GoAwayCKC was one of the top trends right now. I clicked it.
Just as I expected, CKC stood for Chelsea, Kate and Christina and boy was there a lot of hate!
#GoAwayCKC They're obviously just using the boys for fame
#GoAwayCKC I bet they're blackmailing One Direction
#GoAwayCKC Why would the boys spend two months with them? They're nothing special!
#GoAwayCKC THOSE BITCHES NEED TO GO BACK TO FIJI WHERE THEY CAME FROM AND LEAVE THE GUYS ALONE!!!!
I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing at the last one. Fiji? She thinks we're from Fiji?!
"What're you cackling about?" Harry asked, looking up from his British magazine.
"I'm going to Fiji!" I smiled before laughing again and showing him the tweet. Instead of laughing like I expected him to, he frowned.
"Come on dude," I said. "Turn that frown upside down!"
"How can I when this trend is going around Twitter?"
"Come on Haz, we all knew we were gonna get hate." I pointed out. "I personally find them pretty darn funny since they know nothing about us."
"Still, I didn't expect it to be this bad."
"Look on the bright side; they haven't found our personal twitters yet!" I said, switching back to my Twitter page only to find my mentions was flooding with tweets.
It seems I spoke too soon.