** This one shot was inspired by hatts394 who commented on a previous one shot with this idea. I'm not sure if you still read my one shot's, but if you do, thank you for the suggestion, it was really fun to write. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this one shot and have a lovely day or night <3**
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~Hogwarts - fourth year~
The first thing Remus Lupin saw when he walked into his dorm room was one his roommate and friend who was sprawled out across his bed. There were tears rolling down his face, but they didn't look familiar. Sirius hardly ever cries, the only times Remus had seen Sirius cry was the first time they had to go home in first year, and when he gets the odd letter and howler from his parents.
"Oh! Moony! Look! I usually don't read but I saw this on the floor and started reading it." Sirius started, Remus was intrigued now, they were talking about books after all.
"It's the most tragic story ever!" Sirius wailed through tears, a little dramatically.
"What's it called?" Remus asked, interested by this book that made Sirius so emotional.
"Don't know, it doesn't have a name on the cover." Sirius shrugged, sniffling as Remus walked closer.
"What's it about then?" Remus prompted before stopping dead in his tracks, staring at the book in Sirius' hands.
"This boy is in love with his roommate who's also his best friend, but his roommate is so infuriating because he can't get any of the main character's hints but also... listen to this... the best friend is probably straight! STRAIGHT! And apparently he's a player too. I feel so bad for the main character," Sirius let out a sob at the end.
"Yeah, I feel bad for him too," Remus deadpanned, knowing exactly what that book was.
"Wait... aren't you straight?" Remus asked after a second, catching onto all that Sirius had said.
"I dunno." Sirius shrugged before quickly snapping his head towards Remus with a worried face and away from the book.
"Relax, it's fine," Remus smiled reassuringly at one of his best friends.
"Please don't tell the others though, I'm still figuring it out myself." Sirius mumbled, looking at Remus with pleading eyes.
"I won't, I promise. I would hate for someone to do that to me." Remus promised meaningfully, earning a strange look from Sirius.
"Wait-" Sirius' eyes grew wide.
"Um, I like boys and girls. It's called being bisexual." Remus explained awkwardly.
"O-oh, cool. Cool." Sirius said, seeming to be deep in thought.
"Can I have my book back please?" Remus asked nicely.
Sirius handed the book to the boy, and got up to leave the room. He promised Remus he wouldn't tell anyone he was bisexual and Remus promised he wasn't going to tell anyone about how Sirius was questioning his sexuality.
Once the door to the dorm room closed, Remus let out a sigh of relief as he walked over to his own bed, laying flat on his back and looking up at the ceiling. You see, it wasn't a book that Sirius was reading, it was Remus' diary. Luckily, Remus is smart and didn't write any names into it, and so there is no way Sirius would have figured out Remus wrote it and it was about his very real feelings towards him.
For the next few weeks, Sirius seemed more distant to Remus, but also closer at the same time. He didn't really know how to explain it. During lessons, Sirius would have no problem with sitting next to Remus or joking with him during meal times and in the common room with the rest of the Gryffindors. Although, when they were alone, or if they were walking to class or doing a prank, it almost seemed as though Sirius was avoiding Remus. He couldn't understand it.
What he didn't know was that Sirius Black was having a crisis. After he read that book, he couldn't stop thinking about it. He couldn't get the dumb storyline out of his head. He couldn't shake the feeling that the handwriting looked familiar. That the character descriptions such as being roommates and in a friend group of four felt so familiar.
One night, a month later, Sirius asked Marlene to meet him down in the common room. He told the other three Marauders where he was going, and left. It was late, and so most people were already asleep and no one would care to bother them. Of course everyone assumes Sirius and Marlene are hooking up, doing that friends-with-benefits type of thing, but in reality, they just like to talk.
A while ago, maybe five months ago, Sirius and Marlene met up for a small snogging session. Once, right when they met up, Marlene told Sirius she was lesbian and so she didn't want to keep meeting up just to snog each other anymore. Most people would probably be quite upset about that, but Sirius was strangely pleased. Almost relieved. He didn't know why at the time, but now he is slowly starting to understand.
"Alright, Black?" Marlene asked from the sofa in the dimly lit common room, the fireplace being the only light source.
"Yeah, you?" Sirius asked as he walked down the stairs and settled himself onto the sofa next to the blonde.
"I'm good," She smiled softly.
There was a long awkward silence that stretched between the two of them. Neither wanting to speak first but both having a question on their mind. The two Gryffindors stared into the fire before them as they waited for the other to start.
"You wanted to talk?" Marlene decided to take one for the team, turning to face the long haired boy to her left.
"Uh, yeah. I- I'm not sure if I'm allowed to ask you this," Sirius started awkwardly.
Marlene just responded with a puzzled facial expression, tilting her head to the side slightly to show her confusion.
"I mean, I don't know if- ugh!" Sirius tried to explain but just gave up with a huff.
"Just ask, I won't mind. Promise." Marlene smiled kindly at him, but rolled her eyes playfully.
"Um, ok. Well, I was wondering... you see, I mean um," - Sirius stuttered before taking a breath - "How did you know you were lesbian, well I mean how did you know you didn't like the opposite gender?" Sirius finally managed to spit out nervously.
"Well, at first I just expected myself to like boys, but when I spent more time around my female friends and saw other girls around, I realised I was more interested in them than boys. When all the girls in our room would talk about which celebrity they had a crush on, I never liked the same one. I would always say I didn't have a celebrity crush but I admired some female musician or artist. Then, I started hanging out with Dorcas and, well, y'know," Marlene explained openly. Sirius was the first person she came out to, and he was the first person she told about her relationship with Dorcas which started three months ago.
"Why?" She then asked even though she already knew why Sirius asked her.
"Um, I've just been thinking about it in regards to myself." Sirius started with a shrug, feeling a little less nervous after that display of honesty from his friend.
"I always thought I was into girls. I think I was, or maybe it was just because it was conditioned into me basically since I was born. From when I started talking up until I was eleven, my whole upbringing was basically just learning how to present myself to women and then have children to carry on the Black family name. Always a pure blood woman. So I guess I just thought that was my only option. Until last year. I realised that all my mates were getting the hots for all these girls in our year or older ones, but I wasn't. I don't mean to be rude, but I sort of used you to see if I was actually into girls, even if I didn't realise I was doing that." Sirius sighed at the end.
"None taken, I was sort of doing the same thing with you, but the other way round," Marlene admitted, making both of them giggle a little.
"But anyways, I want to figure it out. I've never really liked my parents, and they don't like me at all, but I'm sure they'd personally murder me if they found out I am gay. I mean- I'm not gay. Well, I hope I'm not, but with my luck, I probably am." Sirius slumped down even further into the sofa, looking at the floor now instead of at Marlene.
"Why don't you want to be? It's who you are, Sirius. You can't run from that just because some people won't like you for it." Marlene put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"What would everyone think? Obviously my parents would kill me, my friends would probably think I'm weird and leave me. Maybe not Remus but still. And Reg, oh Reg would hate me even more than he already does. I'd lose everyone. Except for you and Dorcas hopefully," Sirius almost sobbed.
"First of all, fuck your parents. They're gone from your life, they don't control you anymore. Second, sure some people might not understand it, and some people might even dislike you for it, but if your friends are real ones, they'll stay no matter what. Especially Potter. His family took you in, you're basically his brother now. He'd never leave you just because you like blokes. And third, your brother might not understand it, and he might not like it, but that's not your fault. All you've ever tried to do is help him. You even tried to take him with you when you went to live with the Potters. Maybe you should talk to him about it, explain it. Maybe then he will be more understanding if he isn't already. You wouldn't lose everyone Sirius. Almost everyone in Gryffindor is so accepting of me and Dorcas that I'm sure they have more of that to go around." Marlene rubbed his arm comfortingly, letting him lean into her side.
"Thanks," Sirius mumbled softly.
"Wanna tell me what brought on this sudden meeting about this?" Marlene asked, they hadn't met up in a few weeks so it was a bit out of the blue.
"Uh, I read this book that Remus had. It was about a boy who was in love with his roommate but his roommate was probably straight and apparently a player. I guess it just made me think about whether I was straight or not." Sirius chuckled lightly.
"What was the book called?" Marlene asked suspiciously.
"Dunno, didn't have a title or author. None of the characters had names either." Sirius shrugged as if it was normal for a book to be like that.
Suddenly, Marlene bursted out laughing. Not in a mean way, just amused. She knew exactly what Sirius had read. Of course Sirius was too oblivious to see what it really was; Remus' diary.
After talking for a little longer, the two became too tired to keep their eyes open and brains working properly, and so they decided to go to bed. They exchanged a small hug before going up different staircases, back to their rooms.
When Sirius entered his dorm room, he heard the sound of James snoring slightly, and Peter quietly sleep talking, mainly just mumbling incoherent sentences every now and again. By now, Sirius was used to the noise and it comforted him. This was where his home was. The sound often lulled him to sleep before he woke up from a nightmare.
Sirius had a lot of time to think about his feelings. Like, a lot. It was the first weekend back of fifth year. He had the last two months of fourth year and all summer to think about the book and his feelings and what might have caused him to notice them. He finally knows but he doesn't know how to act on his new found knowledge.
After a long chat with Marlene, Dorcas, and Lily, who agreed to help, they came up with a genius plan. Usually on the first weekend of the school year, the Gryffindor's throw a party in their common room. All years are allowed to attend but after a certain hour in the evening, the first, second and third years had to leave.
The party was going well, and at some point in the evening, all the Gryffindor students below fourth year were sent off to bed. This left the older kids to do whatever they wanted without having to worry about ruining the younger ones' innocence. The Gyrffindor's are pretty notorious for being party animals, or in other words, being the wildest at inter-house parties. Although, when it's just Gryffindors alone, they end up playing tipsy but relaxed games of truth or dare and singing karaoke.
That's exactly what was happening right now. There were only a few older students, but the rest were the Marauders and their friends from fifth year, so it was pretty chill. Besides, the seventh and sixth years hung out in their own groups. The group of fifth years were sat on the carpet and sofa around the coffee table and next to the fire, keeping to their portion of the room. The group consisted of James, Sirius, Remus, Peter, Lily, Marlene, Dorcas, Alice, Mary, and Frank.
They went around in a circle, asking truth or dare, passing a bottle of fire whiskey around as well, each person only permitted a sip before having to pass it on. None of them wanted to get drunk, just tipsy enough to have a good time. Eventually, it was Lily's turn to ask. As they had planned, she turned to Sirius and asked truth or dare. As planned, Sirius said dare, and as planned, Lily dared him to do a karaoke song with Marlene.
All their friends started cheering as Sirius walked over to the box of records they keep in the common room, picking through them until he found the song he needed. He had already gone through all of this with Marlene and Lily and Dorcas so they knew which song he was gonna pick and everything.
He and Marlene then climbed up onto the table, which is also known as 'the stage' for whenever they do karaoke. The song started playing and the duo started to shake their shoulders in sync to the music.
Love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me
I love you
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
The two of them held their hands up to their faces as if holding imaginary microphones. Their voices work surprisingly well together.
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?
Don't you too?
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
They pressed a hand to their hearts as they sang and swayed to the music, being dramatic and over the top, but then again, when are either Sirius or Marlene ever not over the top and dramatic.
Oh, I've been dreaming through my lonely past
They rested the back of their hands to their foreheads, acting as though it was such a burden. Sirius' heart started beating faster and faster as they neared the next line of the song.
Now I just made it, I found you at last
Marlene pointed at Dorcas, her girlfriend, while she said this line, and right after, Sirius pointed at Remus. As he did, he almost closed his eyes, not wanting to see the boy's reaction. Sirius had finally realised that he liked Remus, and this was how he was going to confess to him. The boy who was sitting next to Dorcas and Lily looked confused for a few seconds as Sirius' finger was pointing right in his direction, but after glancing over at Marlene who was pointing at her girlfriend, he linked up the line in the song and the action they were doing, and it made sense. Now the curly haired boy was blushing, using one hand to cover his smile and the red that painted his scarred and freckled cheeks.
So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it
'Cause it's true
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
No matter how nervous Sirius was feeling at that moment, the show must go on, and it did. He and Marlene carried on with their rehearsed dance moves, which included a lot of wiggling of hips and shuffling of shoulders.
Oh, no hard feelings between you and me
If we can't make it, but just wait and see
If Remus is actually taking in the words to the song, then hopefully this makes it clear that Sirius still wants to be friends and everything if it doesn't work out. All Sirius knows is that Remus is bi, he doesn't even know his preference or if he's dated anyone before. All he knows is that he actually really likes his best friend, he was just too blind to see it earlier.
So come on, now let's try it, I love you, can't deny it
'Cause it's true
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
By now, everyone was either dancing along, cheering, wolf whistling, or singing as well. Even some of the sixth and seventh years who had been intrigued by what was happening in the fifth years' corner of the common room.
So love me or leave me, make your choice but believe me
I love you
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
Sirius' heart started racing again as he and Marlene stepped down from the table and walked towards Remus and Dorcas. Obviously Marlene and Dorcas were fine about this, because they were already dating, and they had planned this. But Remus and Sirius weren't dating and Sirius didn't know how far he should push it right now. He didn't want to put Remus on the spot or accidentally embarrass him. Luckily, Remus had come out to the rest of the Gryffindor house at the end of fourth year, so it's not like Sirius was outing him. Everybody already knew about his feelings towards Sirius anyway, even without Remus having to tell them. The heart eyes he would make at Sirius when the long haired boy wasn't looking was enough to give that away.
I can't conceal it, don't you see, can't you feel it?
Don't you too?
I do, I do, I do, I do, I do
Marlene and Sirius both reach out to Remus and Dorcas, pulling them up so the four of them are now standing. Remus and Dorcas were both just laughing amusedly at the funny dance Sirius and Marlene were doing, and Remus used his jumper sleeve to hide his even bigger blush than it was earlier.
By the time the song ended, Marlene and Dorcas shared a kiss that they were more than comfortable doing, even in front of their friends who all cheered and wolf whistled. While everyone was distracted, Remus grabbed Sirius' hand, whisking him off upstairs to the Marauders' dorm room that was currently empty.
When they got in the room, Sirius sat down on Remus' bed since it was the closest to the door, and Remus joined him once he shut the door. They were silent for a few moments, before Remus spoke.
"I liked the dance," He smiled shyly, not really sure why he was so nervous if he knows Sirius liked him back.
"Thanks," Sirius smiled back, somewhat sheepishly and awkwardly, neither knowing what to say.
"I've made my choice," Remus said after a few more beats of silence. It took Sirius a few seconds to realise the boy was referring to the song lyrics.
"I'll love you, there's no way I'm leaving you," Remus smiled brightly this time, showing his pretty white teeth.
"I feel it too, and I can't conceal it anymore," Remus then chuckled when Sirius couldn't find the right words for a response.
"Then don't." Sirius almost whispered, his eyes glancing down to the lower part of Remus' face.
Suddenly, the two were inching closer and closer, until two pairs of soft lips were touching. It was a bit awkward and for a second it was a little uncomfortable, but after getting over the initial shock of it all, it started to feel like the most correct choice either boy had ever made in their lives. It felt like they had finally gotten what they had been longing for all this time. Once they pulled apart, their eyes stayed closed for a few seconds longer, not wanting to ruin the moment by coming back to reality.
"You're a great kisser," was all Sirius could think of to say, making Remus scoff.
"Says you! That was my first kiss, you've kissed loads of people before!" Remus laughed, glad that it wasn't too awkward, and they could just have a laugh. It felt easy. It felt nice.
"I mean, that was the first time I've kissed a... boy," Sirius said. He's still getting used to the fact that he's ok with it now and he accepts himself, but sometimes it feels weird to say out loud.
"Well, you were very good at it," Remus smiled encouragingly, noticing Sirius' slight drop in confidence.
"Hm, I don't think I gave you a long enough sample," Sirius thought out loud with a mischievous smirk.
With that, the two of them joined lips again, this time for longer, both smiling into the kiss, Remus' hand even found its way onto Sirius' leg as they sat face to face on the edge of Remus' bed.
When they finally pulled away to breathe, Remus had something to say.
"You know that book of mine that you were reading last year?" Remus asked.
"Yeah?" Sirius responded, intrigued since he was very invested in that story.
"It wasn't a book, it was my diary. And all that stuff about 'the boy', was actually about you," Remus admitted shyly.
"That's why it was so familiar!" Sirius almost shouted in excitement of this discovery.
"Yeah, I knew one of you might find it, so I didn't put any names in, and made it as vague as possible while somehow still being specific." Remus shrugged as if it was obvious.
"This all makes so much sense now," Sirius was still in awe.
"Hey! I'm not a player!" Sirius suddenly said, remembering what was written in the book that was apparently Remus' diary.
"You were back then," Remus shrugged again.
"I was just confused. I promise now that we are... Well, what are we?" Sirius asked.
"Uhm, well, we both like each other, so do you want to be... I don't know... boyfriends?" Remus asked sheepishly, blushing a lot.
"Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that," Sirius smiled comfortingly back at Remus, his new boyfriend.
"Well, now that we are... boyfriends, I promise I won't act like a player anymore. I'm all yours. Only yours," Sirius promised.
"I'm not sure James will be too pleased with that," Remus chuckled.
"I mean, as long as I can still cuddle with him some nights, then I'm sure it will all be fine," Sirius thought out loud, being genuine.
"Sure," Remus laughed before wrapping an arm around Sirius' shoulder, pulling him into a hug.
*****
Years later, it was a very special day. A day when they would no longer be Black and Lupin, but would be the Black-Lupins. Their wedding day. Everyone was there, even baby Harry who was only two years old as he held a little cushion with two golden rings on them.
There was no way they were picking silver rings, partly because of Remus' werewolf issue, and partly because Sirius thought the colour looked too drab on him, so he would never be caught wearing it as an item of jewelry. It reminded him too much of all the family heirloom jewels he was forced to wear as a child.
Once they had been officially married, they had the after party. Suddenly, Sirius stood up and walked over to where one of the guest tables was, whispering something to Marlene and Dorcas. Then, he and Marlene made their way to the dance floor as a song started playing. I Do, by ABBA. The song that they had done karaoke to in fifth year, which ended up being the start of Sirius and Remus' relationship.
Now it can be the start of a new chapter to their relationship. They'll have to teach their kids that song one day.
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I hope you like this one! I think it went through a few emotions, but was over all just fluffy and fun, plus I love that ABBA song so much and I felt like it fit Wolfstar really well, so I just had to include it :)
I love you, hope you're having a nice morning/night/afternoon/evening <3