#FreeJadeSkye.
That hashtag has been blowing up for the past week now. My fan base, SkyeTourage, genuinely have my back. I love it. I have been in such a good mood as of lately. I actually built up the courage to file another restraining order on my record label with another judge, and with the support of my fans protesting for me, today, the judge granted it.
The happiness flowing in my body was unexplainable.
I haven't performed in a while, and I'm ready. My hand was itching to write some hits.
The world found out it was granted just as I did when my attorney called. Carla was there with me, just as excited. We both screamed happily in the kitchen, with her lifting me up.
"Jae!" Carla screamed as she put me down, "Did you hear her? You can fucking perform! You can record!"
"I heard her," I said with my heart racing in excitement. I placed my hand on my chest to calm down. "God, I'm so happy."
"And Timbaland wants to produce your new album!" Carla said, "This is what you deserve. I gotta go wake up Sarai. She gotta hear this."
I laughed as Carla took off upstairs.
My phone rung, thinking it was my mother, but instead it was a FaceTime call from Joie. I answered, and as soon as it connected I was suddenly greeted with, "Congratulations you whore!"
On the screen together was Joie and Andi with wide smiles. "Thank y'all."
"Baby we finna get some more Jade Skye hits! Fuck you mean!" Joie was equally excited for me and turned around and start seeing one of my songs off key. "All of my secrets! Take it or leave it!"
Joie, then starts to whine her hips, and to help her out I start to sing with her and Andi.
I just need some time to myself
I don't need your help, right now
Can I put the phone back down
We all laughed together and I said, "I love y'all."
"We love you." They both said.
"Have you spoke to Caren?" Joie happened to ask.
Caren and me haven't been on great terms since I found out about her—my best friend—being the one that put the battery in Claudia's back to take my son. Caren knows how much Margo means to me. I took my role as a mother to him seriously and to know someone I call my sister could possibly be the cause of me not getting custody of Margo, it hurts.
I feel betrayed.
All the happiness washed from my face at the mention of her. "No, I haven't. I don't know if she tried to reach out because she's blocked on everything."
Andi sucked her teeth. "Are you serious?"
"Deadass," I said. "I don't have anything to say. I'm still fighting for Margo. I wouldn't have to do this if it wasn't for Caren."
"In her defense," Andi started and made me roll my eyes. "She was only giving advice to a mother that can't even know how her son is doing. I get she messed up in the past—"
"The past?" I laughed, "Are you serious? This just happened. He was on the verge of being fucking dead all because of Claudia."
"She didn't force him in that car, Jade." Joie spoke firmly, "He went willingly because he wanted to be with her. He doesn't get to see her because the other Norman's kept her away. Which I totally get. Don't think I don't. But if anybody get what Margo's going through I do. Y'all might have raised him. But that boy will never not miss the woman that brought him into this world. Her past transgressions or not. Margo will always want her. Even with the shit Tanika done to me as a child, I still loved her and just wanted to lay in bed with her how you and Caren got to do as kids.
"I didn't care if I was in the car with her on one of her drug missions, I just wanted to be in her presence. I loved her that much. Thru it all. You, Cairo, Halle, nobody can take that away from him. Because you know what it will cause... resentment. Resentment towards everybody that kept that person out of his life. He already gotta live without a Daddy. If Claudia really getting on the right path, why prevent him from getting to know at least one of his parents? Supervised visits. Start there. But don't take away his chance to build a relationship with someone he's been yearning for this whole time, or he wouldn't have snuck out and got in the car with her that night."
"Jae, at least, consider it." Andi said softly, "Don't let this go on."
They both had some valid points, especially Joie. She grew up in a household with addict parents and if anyone could make me consider it, would definitely have to be her.
But my trust for Claudia was thin, so all I could respond was, "I heard. I listened. And... I will consider it."
"Now, my birthday!" Andi grinned, rubbing her hands together. "It's a day before this whore has to leave for the weekend to Tennessee. So, I don't want to do anything big. I say we drive down to Six Flags and some big ass kids for the day. I'll leave my baby with her Dad. Me, you, Caren, and Joie. Just us four besties how we used to in college."
Andi was excited for this, but me, however, the face I made had Joie laughing. "Jae face saying 'fuck no'."
"Jae!" Andi whined.
"Can't I just buy you a gift, take you somewhere on my own?" I proposed.
"No," Andi declined immediately with a shake of her head. "It's damn tradition. On my birthday, all four of us are together. We've been doing that since college and it's not changing. You will be coming."
"I'll check my schedule."
Joie laughed. "Not this bitch 'contact my assistant' us."
"Jae, I will kidnap you." Andi threatened.
"Mhm. I gotta go. My moms calling."
"Bitch, you lying. Yo shit not even on pause."
I tried to hide my laugh. "No, seriously, I gotta go see Margo."
"Be careful." Andi said and I know she was nervous about me being around Cairo after the restraining order was dropped.
I nodded. "I will."
After I hung up with Joie and Andi I got Sarai ready and head out to leave when I heard,
"Careful with my things baby."
The tone was soft with a slight accent. A familiar one.
"Mommy, he's not gonna hurt your luggage." Another voice said.
"Well he getting it out all aggressive."
"GramMa!" Carla came racing out, to two unexpected guests.
My mother and GramMa and their luggage was getting out the Taxi van in my driveway, passed the gate.
By the excitement coming from Carla, she knew they were coming.
I walked down with Sarai on my hip, genuine confusion on my expression. "Uhm... what's going on?"
"Wah gwaan?" GramMa repeated, face frowning. "I hear that restraining order was dropped. Me and your madda are staying for a few days. Gimme that baby."
I passed Sarai over to smiling GramMa and she immediately start to shower her in kisses how she done me and Carla as kids. "Based off the amount of luggage, y'all will be here longer than just a few days. And you must've known they were coming."
Carla quickly went on to explain herself. "Listen; auntie called, told me GramMa was in Brooklyn from Jamaica. So why not bring em down to have some quality girl time how we used. Just like when we were kids."
Carla threw her arm on my shoulder, grinning, while I cut my eyes.
"You don't want us here?" My mother asked, staring me in the eye.
I sighed softly. "It's not that, Mom. I'm happy y'all are here. I barely see GramMa as is and it's great for Sarai to bond with you guys. But this was so unexpected and sudden."
"Then, it's settled. Where's mi room?" GramMa walked by with Sarai, her fine dark hair blowing with the breeze. "Young man, follow me with my bags. Gently this time."
"I'm sorry." My mother apologized to the Taxi driver as he followed with GramMa luggage.
Carla, too, followed with my mother's luggage to give us privacy.
"We don't want to impose," She said. "Mommy showed up after hearing about the restraining order. Me and Pa tried to keep her there because I know how opinionated and non-filtered she can be. I came along so you would deal with her by yourself."
I love GramMa and happy to see her, no doubt about it. But sometimes the things that come out of her mouth just doesn't come out with any sensitivity to how it make anyone feel. But I would be lying if I said everything that comes out isn't true. She speaks facts. Just with no filter. She feared no one.
Maybe I was really envy GramMa. She was strong-willed and would never be as weak as me to allow some man to put his hands on her.
GramPa tested her one time and one time only. After GranMa stabbed him twice in the arm and knocked him out with a iron skillet, he never tried it again. He didn't tell the cops. He accepted the consequences to his action and GramMa left him, even after that one time.
There was no maybe, I do envy GramMa. She was everything I wasn't and wished I could be.
I felt bad for making my mother feel unwelcome, especially with us barely seeing each other as it is with me being here and my parents in New York. I don't visit much, so I appreciate her being present. I hugged her close and smooched her on the forehead. It was easy with my mother being shorter than me.
I pulled back as the taxi driver left my driveway. "I love you, and I'm glad you are here. There's more than enough room for you and GramMa."
My mother arched a eyebrow. "You sure? GramMa and her big personality."
I chuckled as we made her our way inside. "I'm sure."
"Mi like this!" GramMa approved as we walked in.
"Thank you. Sarai, and I were just about to leave." I said as I retrieved her from GramMa.
"And leave your houseguests?" GramMa asked, furrowing her brows.
"We were already on our way out," I said. "She going to see her brother."
"And be in the same space with the man the beat you black and blue?" GramMa shook her head immediately, "Absolutely not. Mi don't agree. Why can't he be dropped off ova here?"
"I agree." My mother said, "You don't need to be around him especially with this restraining order not existing anymore. It's dangerous."
"Mommy, GramMa, I've been over there several times and Cairo gave me my space to spend it with Margo. His nurse is there. Not here. So that's where I have to go to visit him."
"So you tell his nurse to come with him here. She has feet."
"Don't be an idiot Jade." GramMa said, "If you think for one second that man isn't using that likkle boy as a pawn to get you closer, ya mind is just gone. Are you that slow, gyal?"
"Mom." My mother called in a way to get her to chill. GramMa backed down, raising her hands and sucking her teeth. My mother placed her eyes on me again. "She is right, though, Jade. You going over there isn't the greatest decision to make. You put a order on him because he was physically abusing you, Jade. Not for no fun shit. Margo is the pawn of the game. You love him just as much as you love Sarai. And who else knows that? Cairo. He will dangle that boy in front of you for as long as you let him. Divorce should've been finalized. What happened with that?"
"She paused it," Carla came in letting them know and I gave her a look. "What? You did. Don't try to hide it. That's the problem now. She put it on hold because everything that's going on with Margo. She doesn't wanna—What you say Jae? Put stress on him?"
"You going through a divorce that needs to happen, it has nothing to do with Margo—"
GramMa cut in. "Not one bloodclaat cent."
"So what are you doing?" My mother continued, "Move forward."
"I don't want Cairo."
"Who exactly are you convincing? Us?"
"Or yourself?" Carla added.
The stern, three pair of eyes staring at me has me feeling as if I was under a microscope. Like I am one of the cells Scientist study.
But honestly, I didn't have an answer.
Despite their disapproval, I showed up over Cairo place to visit with Margo as I always do. I grew up alone being the only child but I had Carla growing up and I wanted Sarai to bond with Margo and they have a great brother-sister relationship.
But every single time I come to this beautiful mansion, I'm reminded of why it felt cold.
All of the bruises, the bloodstains, the yelling, the locking me in rooms, the losing my first child because of him, the gun to my stomach—the pain Cairo has caused me drowned my entire mind that I can barely focus on Margo entertaining Sarai in the playroom.
Every time that I'm here I have chills and feel as if I'm walking on eggshells how I used to.
I paused the divorce for Margo, but also because I do still love Cairo.
His apology at the hospital genuinely meant something to me. It made my heart feel lighter.
A big part of me wanted to try again. This could be our second chance. I grew up with my married parents. Why would I not give Sarai the opportunity to grow up in a two-parent home?
"Watch this Daddy!" Margo's voice pulled me from my mind.
Cairo was there now, watching Margo assist a giggling Sarai with her walking, dressed comfortably in his own home with no shirt on. The sight of his toned, fully tattooed body caused my mouth to water.
"Aye! There we go, baby!" Cairo's baritone voice and claps averted my eyes off his stomach and to Margo picking her up to hand to him.
"Careful, Margo." I said as I stood from the soft carpet and walked towards the three in my socks. "You can't be lifting too much baby."
"I'm okay." Margo assured.
I smiled, kissing his forehead. I looked at Cairo to find his eyes already on me with Sarai hugging his face. "Care to talk to me real quick?"
Cairo nodded, putting our baby down to play with Margo some more before we stepped out into the hall. "What up? You look beautiful."
I just had on a simple square neck crop tank and jeans. "Thank you."
"And congratulations. You can perform and make music. SkyeTourage don't play bout you."
I can never tell when Cairo's being sarcastic, but I accepted it and again, I said, "Thank you. For one, we really do need to talk about Margo and the whole custody mess."
"Talk to me."
"The judge believes Claudia; maybe, she really has changed. Let's sit down with her together."
Confusion takes over his expression at my suggestion. "Sit down wit her? Where the com' from?"
"Just sat, and really thought about it." I purposely failed to mention the conversation with Joie and Andi because I know he would never consider it knowing they put it in my ear.
Cairo was quick to give in. "If that's what you wanna do."
I nodded and blew out air. "And the other thing is..." I paused as he stared me in the eyes so intently, "Sarai, Margo... those two beautiful and innocent little kids deserves a two-parent home. I had it. You as well before your father left. They deserve to see how that would feel."
Cairo agreed. "Yeah, they do."
"They do. A happy, loving, peaceful, two parent household." I breathed out slowly, "And there's nothing happy, or loving, or peaceful about you and I getting back together. It wasn't then. And it wouldn't be now. I do accept your apology that I hope was genuine. But I cannot revert back. You hurt me, hard. The first man I ever loved and you took me for granted. I can't put myself thru that anymore. So, your attorney should be informing you soon. I proceeded with the divorce. You know what I want and if you give it, we end this peacefully. I do still love you and always will. But those kids in there deserve better than their mother covering black eyes for the rest of their life. I refuse to put them thru that."
Cairo just stared at me without saying anything and that had me nervous. I was up his roof, with the front door not in sight. Was he about to choke me? Punch me? Maybe slap me?
I could hear Margo and Sarai bright laughs and it had me more scared for them. What if he does hit me and Margo hears? He would come out and see, and Margo wasn't exposed to that and I wouldn't allow it today.
"It's almost Bug's nap time and we have a long drive."
Cairo blocked the playroom door so that I couldn't enter and it made me gasp in fright. He was about to hit me. I know it. Cairo's hand start to raise and I flinched. I thought he would hit me, but instead, he held it out to me.
I was confused. He wanted a handshake?
"Whatever in the papers you want it's yours," Cairo said. "You want monthly alimony? Coo', name the price. Child support, som' properties, splitting our times with Margo, you got it. You want out? I'm letting you. If being without me makes you happy, by all means. Everything is done."
Who is this?
This man in front of me is not the Cairo I remembered. This was the Cairo I've been searching for after we got married and here he is in front of me after the divorce papers were filed.
Where has he been, and why now?
I did settle my hand in his big one and he held it tight that didn't put fear in me. It actually felt welcoming and what Cairo hasn't been in a while: peaceful.
I lost against myself, something reeled me closer to him, inch by inch. I was chest to chest with him. I haven't been this close to him in six months without shuddering in complete fear.
Two of his dreads were in his face, so I moved it out of his face. I reeled in until our lips touched. I was actually kissing on my soon-to-me ex husband and he gladly reciprocated. He even wrapped me into his strong arms, walking me backward out the doorway until my back touched the wall.
It was getting heated, steamy when he picked me up.
My bun even loosened by his hand trailing through it and pulling it, which got a low moan out of me.
It wasn't until Sarai whined that I pulled away and remembered I needed to get her home for a nap before she got even more cranky. "Put me down."
Cairo followed my command, stepping back to give me space as we both wiped around our mouths and calming our hard breathing.
I fixed myself up. "I have to get her home."
And with that, I pushed on to grab Sarai, kiss Margo goodbye, we left.
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