I was dancing with Sif, Thor and the Warriors Three when Loki approached us again. The presence in my head was back and so I allowed mine back into his. When I had been whisked off to the dancefloor I had removed my seiðr to provide him so privacy whilst he talked with his father. It had also been because the mead hit me harder than I realised, and I couldn't maintain the spell. But as it wore of more and more as we did this strange dance I told myself it was definitely an active choice I made. He seemed content and determined when I entered his mind again.
Come dance with us! I smiled at him and offered a hand to him. He just stood still and looked over the hall, no doubt noticing the stares I had been getting throughout the night. I heard Fandral laugh through the music and utter something about Loki never being seen on the dancefloor for peasant jigs. Ignoring him I stepped up to him and all but dragged him to us. Everyone in our group had been so relaxed without him and now tensed with him. The music quietened off before another song could start again. Then I heard a whistling of a song I did actually recognise, and I squealed softly.
"Wait is this For the Dancing and the Dreaming?" They all actively stared at me in surprise. "I love this song, it's a Midgardian film about the culture who used to worship Asgard. I never thought it was real! Wanda and I learnt the dance as a joke." I felt Loki reach into my memories and then laugh when he saw us dancing around to the song. He reached behind me and grabbed my waist and began to sing softly into my ear in a foreign language. His voice came through much softer and nicer than the band singer.
Even if I didn't recognise the words I could recognise the soft rhythm that came from the band. I had sung extremely quietly under my breath, so much so that I was surprised he could hear it. I spoke the words in English at the same time an Asgardian female singer joined in. I turned and smiled up at him as he offered his arm. I pressed my own against him and the widest mischievous grin lit up Loki's face. We danced around each other, even as it was clear the Asgardian did not dance this way to the song. He used his memories of me and Wanda to guide his steps. People began to stare at us more openly and as I twirled around Loki I noticed how Odin seemed to smile widely at the sight. We spun each other around before at the end he lifted me up. He dropped me back down to the floor and I was lost in the moment with him entirely. It was soon over though, as a new song started up and I looked over at Thor who just looked surprised.
"When we are home I can show you the film!" I exclaimed, thinking it must have been the reason for his surprise. Before he could respond Loki told Thor he would escort me to my guest quarters to get some rest and whisked me away before I could protest. When the doors closed behind me, and we were stood in the hallway I frowned and stood still.
"I'm not particularly tired Loki. I was happy dancing the night away even if I looked like an idiot." He stepped towards me and brushed back a piece of hair that had fallen from behind my braid and grazed my cheek.
"There are many things you looked like out there, Kaya. Trust me, an idiot wasn't one of them. You positively glow on Asgard. I was merely following through on your third wish. You are more than welcome to dance the night away if you wish. I thought, however, that you'd perhaps wish to see some sights."
"So, we aren't just going to bed?" He smiled and shook his head at me. He held his arm out as I felt his presence in my head leave and his shields force me to do the same. It would have worried me if I wasn't sure he just wanted to make sure it was a surprise. Without hesitation I took his arm and felt his seiðr surround us both. The cold hit my skin before I could fully recognise where we were. It was then that I noticed the palace standing far away in the middle of the city. It stood beautiful in the scenery, shining in the moonlight, and set perfectly against the night sky that glistened around it. Loki moved forward conjuring a blanket, some food and two drinks on top of it, as well as a small camping fire nearby. He gestured me to sit next to him and I followed, leaning into him for some warmth as the fire heated. We sat together in a comfortable silence as I looked at over the palace and villages that surrounded it. Loki was the first to break the silence.
"You know I have not danced in public for around four hundred years? And even before I only offered dances to Vanir or Ljósálfar royalty that I was made to dance with. I believed the court was quite shocked to see me dance twice in a night." He was leant back on his arms, looking up at the sky with thought. His black hair glimmered in the light, and he somehow looked even more pale against the snowy ground of the mountain.
"They were probably jealous to see their handsome prince dance with a stranger. I'm sure many ladies of the court would die for such a chance." I teased as I reached out for some of the fruit he had conjured before repositioning myself, so my legs were curled up on my right and rested my weight towards him.
"For Thor, perhaps. No one was rushing to gain the favour of the dark prince. After all who would try to secure the second in line to the throne when the brave Thor remained single?" I rolled my eyes at the thought. It was more than a kid or teen deserved to deal with.
"I'm sorry you had to grow up like that. Surrounded my pretentious idiots who never wished to get to know you."
"Some would argue it is better than to be surrounded my pretentious idiots who believe they know me." He muttered. I sat up and turned to face him fully, crossing my legs somewhat easily in the dress.
"Then let them get to know you, Loki. I tried, for two months I came to know you better. I thought you capable of change then, I saw the version of you that wishes for people to care for you. But then... then–"
"Then I betrayed you." I sighed in exacerbation. I wasn't angry with him, just annoyed at this façade he tried to maintain even now.
"Then you pretended to betray me. Because it was pretence right? I was getting through to you and then we gave you your gift and you freaked out. Why?"
"Does it truly matter why?" We settled back into silence at his words. I rolled my eyes and went to pick up my drink becoming annoyed when it was water and not wine. I was going to complain but I didn't push my luck. It was a kind gesture after all, and he probably knew I was tipsier than I let on from being in my head.
Wanting to change the topic so the mood didn't sour, I went to talk more about how I enjoyed dancing with him. But then I remembered he had watched me do so with Wanda which is how he knew the moves from the movie.
"Wait how did you see my memories without making contact with my forehead?" He laughed gentle and smiled at me, and I tried to ignore the fluttering in my chest as he did. It wasn't particular fair for the God of Mischief to look that good.
"I was wondering when you would notice that. My power, like yours, draws its strength from Asgard. As part of your magic consists of my seiðr it is easier for us to perform such tricks with each other and so I do not need contact to do so. Neither do you, though I am trusting you will not attempt it nevertheless." He frowned slightly at the thought, and I brought my hand on top of his. He stiffened slightly at the contact, but I didn't pull away.
"I would never intentionally break your trust like that, Loki. I know there are things you do not wish me to see or know. I hope that one day you will be able to confide in someone, even if it is not me. If you continue to hold all that grief and sorrow in it will destroy any good in you." He looked at me and leaned over closer, a lock of his hair falling across his face as he did. He was trying to intimidate me, I realised. I also realised that it didn't work.
"Brave of you to assume it hasn't already." Before I knew what I was doing I reached out and brushed the piece of hair back behind his ear. His eyes fluttered close as the feeling and he relaxed slightly as he moved his head to aid my motion.
I smiled softly. During my time here I made note of two things he seemed to be unable to stop himself from enjoying: praise and affectionate touch. I cast my mind back to what he told me when we got here, the reason for our trip in the first place.
Kaya I should not feel warm to you... This should not feel warm to you. My skin is cold and harsh to those that touch it, Kaya. Asgardians cannot bare it for long without magical interference and Midgardians should especially find it difficult. My breath hitched in my throat as I thought about the notion that no one could bare to touch your skin. I let my knuckles brush his cheek and his lips parted at the motion. Then, I gently rested my palm against his cheek and moved my thumb back and forth in small strokes. I couldn't imagine it feel cold and harsh to anyone. His skin was so soft under my hand that it felt almost unreal. More like smooth silk than skin. His eyes opened and bared down into mine with a desperation and vulnerability that squeezed my heart.
"Loki... how long as it been since someone provided you with any contact?" My voice was a whisper as I spoke, wanting to hear the answer but knowing it would break my heart.
"My mother would use her seiðr when comforting me for long periods when I was younger, though I did not understand why at the time. I had assumed it to be because of my darker domains not... not anything else. I was the only one nearby who was God of something not overly joyous and Odin left me with my assumptions. People did provide me contact, like my father and Thor but over clothing only. Some tried, though they couldn't stand it for long. Later in life I used my seiðr to make it bearable for certain activities. We never touched for very long and I forgot that no Midgardian should be able to however brief." He leant slightly into the touch. He craved it even if he didn't fully know he did. I slowly removed it and he looked lost for a brief second, but I shuffled closer to him and slunk my arm behind his back and leant on my left hip. I brought my left hand and up to his hand before stroking gently up his arm and to his neck. He leant further into, providing access to more of his neck. He was so trusting of me in that moment that it made me feel almost prideful. I tried to ignore the feelings that were stirring in me that I couldn't quite place, and I brought my hand through his hair. He sighed contently when I played with his hair, and I made a mental note to add that to the list. After a while of me playing with his hair he brought his left hand up and moved mine back down to his cheek, holding it there.
I longed to know what was in his head but didn't pry. He looked at me with a boyish vulnerability that was heart-breaking to see. How long had he yearned for something so simple?
"Does this really not hurt you?" He whispered and, unable to speak, I shook my head. He let go of my hand and I let it fall back to my side. Very slowly, as if he was scared I would scamper away like a scared stray, he brought his hand out and to my cheek. I smiled and brought my face into his hand, trying to ignore the proximity we found ourselves in. "I've never been able to do this without seiðr before. It became quite a chore to maintain. So much so that I just stopped seeking out physical contact with anyone." I could hear his words but became too distracted at the hum I felt in my cheek as his thumb stroked the skin in a reflection of my earlier moments. He whispered my name and I looked up at him, his eyes close to mine and his nose brushing mine. I let out a small gasp at the closeness but didn't move away. It was like a trance held me there. I knew what was coming and a small part of me was flashing warnings. Warnings that no good could come from this, that he couldn't really be trusted. But the rest of me simply didn't care. It felt too natural in the moment, and I craved it, I realised. This entire evening I'd been craving this contact. Regardless of his previous deceit, regardless of his consistent teasing the last month of training. This wasn't that Loki. This was a man who craved affection and ran from it. One who wanted others to place trust in him and willed himself not to ruin it.
His lips brushed against mine in a soft motion. It was so gentle it was barely there, feeling like a feather passing by at the right time, but leaving my lips almost burning with heat as it left. I could feel his breath against them as he held himself patiently, waiting for my reaction and bracing for the rejection he expected. But it never came. Instead, I gave in. Gave into the desire I felt for him, to the tension that had been growing through his remarks about my satisfaction. I brought my lips against him with all the desire I had actively burying down for months. He moaned slightly at my onslaught and brought his hands to my hair as he began leading the kiss. His lips overpowered mine easily and coaxed out my tongue with his. I shivered before moving to try to gain better access, to prevent his lips from ever leaving mine. I could feel the hum of our seiðr beneath our skin, threatening to goad the other out. But I also felt the heat rise in my core as he kissed me with such passion and authority. It overwhelmed me in a way nobody's kiss ever hand. My mind emptied of any stress or worries as I just sank deeper into the passion he inspired in me. His teeth sank into my bottom lip and the slightly pain radiated throughout my skin. I could feel it in my core and moaned at the sensation before he brought his tongue over the bite. He pulled away panting, his eyes baring up at mine with complete desire. When he leant back far enough and stopped for long enough for my thoughts to gather I noticed I was leant over him, straddling his waist but luckily hovering in the air instead of resting on him.
I wanted more in that moment but as I looked at him struggle with his emotions I noticed it couldn't happen. He'd been pushed too far tonight, and if I tried to press any of his vulnerabilities any harder I worried it would not end in a positive. I stayed on top of him, however, waiting for him to move or my embarrassment to settle in. The later one out and I eventually rolled over to sit besides him again. I took my glass of water and downed the rest of it, trying to extinguish this fire within me that I knew would not be solved tonight. Eventually he cleared his throat and when I looked back up at him I saw that damn uncaring mask back over his face. I would have minded more if I hadn't thought he was just trying to process what happened in peace.
"We should get back before they worry." He stated emotionlessly. I just nodded, worried my voice would give away my desire to stay and continue if I did. He transported us back to the palace and we stood in a hallway I did not notice. "Mine and Thor's rooms are just across the hall. If you need anything you can just call for a maid and one should arrive shortly." I nodded and went to enter the room but froze before I opened the door. As I glanced back over to him I noticed him staring into the distance, worrying creasing the mask he wore. The likelihood of him overthinking this all and lashing out in the morning was high. I wasn't ready for this Loki to leave but knew he wasn't ready to be this vulnerable as often I perhaps desired. I turned around and quickly placed a kiss on his cheek. His head turned to mine in surprise.
"Thankyou, my prince, for such a wonderful evening."