Blue woke up from the sounds of his doorbell but he just get his pillow and cover his face. He was still sleepy and his headache from last night is horrible. But the person behind the door is keep pressing his doorbell and it getting on his nerve,who the hell is this that have the guts to disturb his sleep. He take a glance on his alarm clock its already 9 in the morning. He get up from his bed and scratched the back of his head in annoyance. He went straight to the door and unlocked it. With a frown and sleepy face he greeted with a grumpy look the person behind the door.
''I was on your door about an hour ago,what takes you so long to open the door?'' Hyper asked and went straight inside his unit.
''I was still sleeping,what's brings you here so early?'' I asked him with annoyance. I slump myself on the couch and close my eyes.
Hyper was in the kitchen preparing the food he brought.
I drifted to sleep again. I just woke up by the tap on my face. I slowly open my eyes and I used Hyper.
''Wake up sleepy head,let's eat.''
I stretched and followed him in the dining table.
We started to eat and no one talk until we finished. Hyper wash the dishes and I went to my room to take a shower.
I opened my laptop and started typing..checking all the paper works. Hyper sit beside me and handed me a cup of coffee and looked at me intently.
''What's wrong?'' He asked me with a looked that I'm not allowed to deny.
I removed my gazed at him and make myself busy typing again but he closed my laptop and removed it from me and put it away.
I bite my lips while looking at the cup of my coffee. I let out a deep sigh and get up headed to my balcony. And Hyper followed me and settle on the chair at the left side still waiting for me to spill what's on my mind.
I sit on the other chair and sipped my coffee while looking at the view of the whole city of Bangkok. Hyper did not say anything he just waiting for me to talk on my own.
''Nothing's wrong,why do you asked?'' I asked him while looking at the pots of cactus on my table in the balcony.
''Stop beating around the bush Blue,I know if there is something is wrong with you so stop it and tell me what's the problem. Tell me what you're thinking. '' Hyper said looking at my face and not wanting to let go of me unless I tell him. I just sigh and looked away.
''Its God right?'' He asked me that makes me looked at him.
''How did you know?'' I asked him confused.
''I already sensed it since we are on the camp. I knew it there is something wrong.'' Hyper said. I just keep silent and just looked away.
''You like him right?'' He asked me again without looking at me.
''I don't know if I really liked him or I'm just crushing on him. What I know is when I meet him with his girlfriend last day and last night I feel annoyed..and I keep on thinking of him since we get back from the camp.'' I tell him while i grip my cup.
Hyper looked at me with a sympathy on his face.
''Don't looked at me like that,I'm okay. Maybe I'm just infatuated but not in love..its just a simple crush.'' I told him making a face..he looked at me with a ''I don't believe you'' look. I just looked away and finished my coffee and get up went straight inside.
I sit in front of my laptops and continue doing my paper works. I feel a little bit okay when I shared my problem to Hyper. He was my confidante since high school days and he knows me well,if something is bothering me and he is a good secret keeper too.
Hyper sit on the couch silently beside me.
''So what is your plan now?'' Hyper asked looking at me.
''What plan?'' I looked at him with a straight face.
''About G, are you going to confess to him?''
''Nope. No need to confess.'' I answered my attention is still fixed on my laptop.
''And don't worry about me Hype. I'm okay.'' I assured him. He just looked at me and nodded. After that we just talked about some random stuffs when someone called him. He answered the phone while I finished all my paper works.
''Blue I'm gonna leave now..call me if you need me.Hmm?'' He said.
''hMM..okay. Thanks.'' I walked with him to the door and locked my door. I just spend my whole day doing all my works.
I was just interrupted by my grawling stomach. When I check the time its already 6:30 in the evening. I stretched my back and went to the kitchen to look something to eat. I just settle to a tuna sandwich and yogurt and a glass of juice.
I went to my balcony and sit there while enjoying the night breeze and the beautiful view of night sky.
I was eating my yogurt when I heard someone talking at the other side of the balcony.
''When are we gonna go home and talk to your parents about the wedding?'' Said by the womans voice.
''Its up to you,the sooner the better.'' Answered by the familiar voice.
Its G.
I bit my lips when I heard it. I can't swallow the food that I'm eating. He was getting married. I didn't know how long I stayed on that position but when I get back at my trance i realized that my tears fell down. I wiped it quickly and get off carry my dishes and went inside.
I washed the dishes and went straight to my room and get in the bed. The conversation of G and his girlfriend is keep playing on my mind like a tape. I felt a sudden pain on my chest and I just burst into tears.
I hate myself. I let myself cried until I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning with a fuffy eyes and I suddenly remember the reason why I cried and the pain strike again.
I just brush my teeth and take a shower. I stayed under the shower for a minute and let myself enjoy the water..I want to calm my mind I don't wanna cry anymore.
I let out a deep sigh and went out of the shower wipe myself and put on my robe. I'm not gonna let myself cry anymore. This is too much. I was just hurting myself.
He is a guy Blue and he was getting married to a woman and he deserve that. I'm not in the right place to think that he was hurting me when in fact he doesn't even know what I feel for him. And he doesn't need to know,He was getting married and I don't want to mingle on their business..Falling for him in the first place is not what I want so its no need for him to know about this. I can get over it myself.
Its been a month since I accidentally heard about G getting married and I did my best not to bump him on anywhere I go and I try my best to be busy just like before. I go back to my condo late so I can't see him,and I did my best to refuse every drinking session that they invited me..I always make my work as an excused not to meet God and his friends.
I was walking on my in the hallway rummaging my bag for my key when I saw God standing infront of my door his arm is cross on his chest obviously waiting for me. I froze when I looked at him but I gather my strenght and went straight to my door and opened it.
''Can we talk?'' God asked me. I let out a sigh and turned around him with a straight face.
''Why are you avoiding me?'' He asked with a serious face.
The frowned on my face formed when I heard what he said.
''Avoiding you? And what makes you think that I'm avoiding you?'' I asked him didn't flinced he was intimidating me with his straight and serious looks.
''Stop bullshitting Blue! You know what I'm pointing here!..Do you like me right?''
I keep silent and just looked at him trying my best to hold my tears from falling. I let out a deep sigh and turned around to enter my unit but...
''JUst tell me the truth Blue..'' He said in a calm voice.
''Just leave me alone G...Be a man and marry your girlfriend and just leave me at peace. Stop messing with my head just like what you always do..I'm doing just fine.''
I was about to enter my unit but he grab me and pulled him into a hugged. I was froze and did not able to moved when I heard his voice.
''I love you Blue but I need to marry her.'' G said while carressing my the back of my head. I let go of his hug and walk back away from him and went straight to my door. Before I went inside.
''Just leave me alone G. I've been trying my best to get over about my feelings to you coz I don't want to mess with other peoples life with my fellings. I've been doing my best to avoid you. I've been doing my best to get over this..And I know I can do this but why you need to hurt me this way..by admitting that you like me but you need to marry her. What's the point? You want me as your side lover while you got a thing with your soon to be wife?...Stop messing with me G and just leave me alone. You are just giving me a hard time. So back off and do the right thing.''
I opened my door and get inside and locked it. I leaned my back on the door and let myself sit on the floor.
All my effort of forgetting him is down on the drain..my tears fell on my cheeks and it turn into a sobbed. I really hate myself for letting myself fell for him. He is so mean for saying that he love me but he need to get married.
How can he do this to me? He just added salt to my wounds for telling me that.
He really got a guts for hurting me this way. This made me hate him even more.
I wiped my tears and get up. I take a shower and sit on my bed still thinking about what he said.