Q U E R E N C I A
(n.) a place from which one's strength is drawn, where on feels at home; the place where you are your most authentic self.
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While Lorenzo was in the shower, I changed the bed sheets, cleaned up the mess we made in his room and rushed down downstairs into the kitchen to make lunch.
Damn, it's four in the afternoon already?
After I was done making the sauce, I waited for the pasta to be boiled, wiping my wet hands on the kitchen towel listening to Lana Del Ray in the background again.
Hearing my phone ring, I peaked over seeing Alec's name. He's probably wondering where I am.
Answering, I pressed the phone to my ear. "Hey, brother." I spoke as I stirred the pasta.
"Hey, Mar," He didn't sound so good making me furrow my brows. "You didn't come home last night, everything alright?" He asked and I hummed.
"Yep," I turned the gas off for the pasta. "What's up?"
"Um," He cleared his throat and this didn't feel good. "We leave tomorrow night," What, leave for what?
"Leave where?" I asked confused and he sighed. He doesn't mean back to New York, right? I can't go when everything just started getting good.
"Back home, Mar," Alec told me and my heart dropped right into my stomach and not in a good way. "Landon hasn't been to school in a month, he was only suspended for half a month... I spoke to Drakos though but he has quiet a lot of catching up to do but Landon's a smart kid, he'll do good." I felt shit, realising how I had promised Landon that he wouldn't have to go back to that shit school, how I would take care of him, look after him. I can't let him go, it'll break my heart and his. I can't lose him again.
"What time?" I asked because I know no matter what, I have to go back. Sooner than later.
There must be a shit ton of work pending, all of us have catching up to do.
"Ten." He told me and I closed my eyes, sighing.
"Alright," I bit down on my lip. "See you then, bye." Hanging up, I put my phone away, staring at the pasta that I no longer have the appetite for.
Just then, the fresh scent of body wash and cologne filled in from behind me, Lorenzo walking in and he instantly hugged me from behind as soon as he approached me.
"What's wrong?" It's as if he can just read straight through me. He looked down at me as he rubbed my stomach with his large hand, kinda feeling ticklish as I laughed, turning around.
"Nothing," I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Wanna grab us some wine, food's almost done." I bit down on my lip as I genuinely smiled, Lorenzo nodding.
"As you say, Torres," He poked my stomach and I laughed, pushing him away. "I'll meet you on the balcony, hurry your fine ass up." He winked at me before grabbing two wine glasses and I smirked.
God, he's so beautiful. I don't wanna leave tomorrow but I have no choice... always gotta happen to me.
"Landon's a great kid, Mar, he's just neglected," Lorenzo told me as we sat opposite each other, finished our food and just watching the sunset as we sipped our red wine.
"Yeah," I nodded, understanding. "I just don't want him to do what we do, I want him to live his life like a normal teenager and not rot away in some school off on a dead island." I sighed as I pulled my legs closer to my body, my thighs pressed against my chest.
"Are you sure you wanna look after him?" Lorenzo asked and I looked at him confused. "I'm not saying you're not capable, you look after him great but taking responsibility of a teenager is hard work; their mood swings, studies, keeping an eye on him and then there's the moving part, the responsibility of his enrolment in a good school, looking after all of that." He's right, that is a lot of things but I've thought about this and I'm ready.
"I own him this..." I raked my fingers through my hair. "But I get your point, I just — I mean, I'm ready for this, I wanna do this." I told him and Lorenzo gave me a soft smile.
"Then you've got this." I have smiled more today than in my entire life.
I didn't know what to say other than smile but then it hit me again, I'm leaving tomorrow night.
"It's just not Landon's situation that's bothering you... what it is?" He asked, putting his glass down on the table signalling for me to come over.
"Nothing." I sighed as I walked over, him grabbing me by the waist, plopping me down on his lap and I instantly snuggled into him. My head on his chest, listening to the comforting sound of his beating heart.
"Shut up about nothing," He slapped my forehead and I gasped but it turned into a laugh. "You know, you actually have a small forehead—" I slapped his hand away when he pretend measured it. "Ouch!" Such a drama queen.
"You know, you actually have a small di—" He cut me off right away as his hand wrapped around my throat; my stomach burst into flutters.
"Okay but you loved this shrimp dick." He shrugged, moving his hand away and I rolled my eyes laughing. "Shut up and tell me now." He wrapped his arms around my waist before he softly kissed the side of my head.
"Fine," I have to tell me but I was hoping it would be tonight. "I'm leaving tomorrow... I have a flight at ten back to New York." I told him and he was quiet, way too quiet.
He didn't speak for a few seconds and neither did I, his hand rubbing my back soothingly.
"Ten at night?" He asked and I nodded. "Well, I'm gonna rock your world for the next twenty-six hours," I grinned, looking up at his cheeky smirk. "I would make it twenty-eight, make you miss your flight so I can keep you here but I don't think Alec would appreciate that." He clicked his tongue and I rested my head back on his chest, watching the sunset behind the trees.
This is everything I could ask for.
"He would come knocking your door down, he can't run the business without my brains." I told him and Lorenzo lowly chuckled.
"You're a smart ass, Torres," He rested his head on mine, watching the sunset too. "Always know how to run that mouth of yours."
"I will bite you, carry on." I jokingly threatened him and he whistled.
"Hot." Well, I better make use of the twenty six hours I have.
"Hey, when did you get here?" I asked Flavio as I entered the kitchen, a towel wrapped my wet hair.
"Like forty minutes ago when you two were having animal sex in the shower." We were that loud?
"Didn't know we had company," Lorenzo poured himself a cup of coffee as he walked in shirtless, me admiring him, then noticing the scratch marks on his back. "Would've been louder but hope you enjoyed the show." Lorenzo winked at Flavio and he only pretend gagged.
"Are you two actual animals because Amara, what the fuck?" Flavio shockingly asked as he pointed out the marks on Lorenzo's toned back.
"You haven't seen her yet." Lorenzo jerked a brow and I rolled my eyes as I watched him pour Flavio and I a cup too.
"God," Flavio muttered as he gave us a disappointed look.
"You don't get to talk," I took my cup from Lorenzo as I pulled a face at Flavio. "You fucked this girl in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere of some forest, rolled down into a ditch in the middle of fucking then had a stick poke your ass which then I had to patch up in the middle of that night." I called him out and Lorenzo looked shocked and interested.
"That was one time." Flavio muttered and Lorenzo spoke right away.
"Oh, this one time you went over this girls house for a late night fuck, turned out she was into some freaking shit... how's your ass?" I widened my eyes as I looked at a stunned Flavio, bursting into a loud laugh.
"You didn't!" I could feel the lack of oxygen in my head from all the laughing.
"I didn't!" Flavio exclaimed as he gave a laughing Lorenzo the middle finger. "Bitch told me she had a surprise for me, blindfolded me and the next thing you know she fucking tickled my asshole with a dildo." He muttered and at this point I was silent laughing, the veins in my neck hurting.
"So what did you do?" I asked him and he rolled his eyes before carrying on with the rest of his story.
"Ran the fuck out of there butt fucking naked, when I got home it was four in the morning and I woke my maid up accidentally... she saw me naked... she thought I was hitting on her," He sighed. "She quit the next week, the troubles I went through into finding a new maid." He muttered and I shook my head at him.
"You disappointed her." I told him as I held up my fingers with only a centimetre away from each other.
"Not everyone's blessed like me." He flicked his fake longer hair and looked away. Such sass. "Anyways, I'm here because our flight's at ten and we have to be there in two hours." I sighed, feeling sick knowing how quick time passed.
Wait a damn second. "You're coming with us?" I asked him and he raised a brow and he nodded. I felt a whole lot better but every time Flavio's around I can't forget the secret thing about him and Grey.
He won't tell me, at all and he tells me everything. Whatever this is, it's deep and it's very serious. I just need to figure out how to find out about it.
"What about Dominic?" I asked him feeling a little bad when I thought about him.
"He left last night," No the fuck he didn't. "With Maria, thought you knew." He saw the look of anger on my face and cursed under his breath.
"I'm over his dumb ass." I shrugged and Flavio nodded, smiling.
"I don't know what you saw in him," Flavio shrugged and I narrowed my eyes.
"I thought you liked those two." Lorenzo raised a brow and Flavio sniggered.
"I never supported Amara in her decision of liking Dominic, I told her that I see some tension between them so either they talk it out or fuck it out, that was my advice." I remember Flavio telling me this, a few weeks ago.
"What's your advice on me then, Enzo?" Lorenzo looked at him skeptical and Flavio smirked.
"At first, I told her you were dangerous, to stay away," Lorenzo raised his brows at what Flavio said. "I didn't realise you two fuckers would match so perfectly... so my advice is get married, have two cute little kids that'll call me Uncle Vio." I slapped the back of his head as I walked past, laughing and putting my cup in the sink.
"Oh, imagine," Lorenzo teased me, grabbing me by the waist as I attempted to walk past him, dropping me on his lap. "A little Amara running around," I rolled my eyes, looking after Flavio is like having a kid, I'm good with one now.
"Your kids will probably turn out psycho." Flavio sniggered and Lorenzo kissed my back before letting me down.
"Yeah, I'm gonna teach them how to flip knives by the age of three and by five, they're well trained to torture your ass." I smiled as I sat down on the high chair next to Lorenzo.
"Knives?" Lorenzo looked at me shocked, disappointed even. "Guns get the job done much quicker." I smirked then looked at Flavio who looked stunned.
"People like you are the ones who don't deserve kids." Flavio cut his eyes at us and we laughed.
God, here comes time closing in on me, not much left.
"Mar?" Lorenzo rubbed my back as I clung onto him, my face pressed against his chest. "Come on, Mar, look at me." I sniffled as I held back my tears, forcing them down before I looked up.
I don't get why I'm so hurt over this but maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that after so long I've felt this way. I never thought I would accept this but maybe there is some better than him... someone that makes me feel more than he ever made me feel.
"God, I'm gonna miss you." He muttered as he made me look up, his finger tucked underneath my chin that rested on his chest, a smile on my lips.
"I'm gonna miss you too," I told him and I could see the hurt wallowing in his soft, dark eyes. "When am I gonna see you again?" I asked him, my smile fading and he pursed his lips.
"Soon, mio amore," He kissed my forehead and I felt so warm around him, so comforted. "Fuck," He muttered after he scanned my eyes, pulling me in for a tight hug afraid that I might slip out his grasp, that I might just fade.
"Mar, we're gonna be late." Alec spoke from behind us, everyone had went ahead but Alec and Flavio waited behind.
"Shut the fuck up, Alec." I shut my eyes trying to capture this moment and keep it in my memory before I leave.
"Go, Mar." He pulled away, his large hands cupping my face and I got on my tiptoes to kiss him.
Our lips connecting and I felt like the world stopped, froze around us. The taste of his sweet mouth, the way he held me, the way he made me feel. Fuck, what's wrong with me.
I pulled away, his forehead resting against mine and I felt terrible, like sick but not physically.
"Goodbye, Lorenzo."