Lethal Misfits - 24
Johnny
Over this week while struggling through sleepless nights and blurry dreams, I had imagined myself talking to Iris Bradley a lot of times. Between wondering where the conversation would pick up and contemplating all the things that were supposed to be said, I always ended up getting anxious over the prospect. My greatest fear was being unable to explain things to her that somehow I would fail to make her believe how sorry I was.
I was an asshole.
All this time I was under an illusion that things will go smoothly, I never considered failure and that resulted in the current problem we were facing. My careless attitude and over self confident had cost me too much. As I walked across the street, feeling miserable and hating my self, I came to the conclusion that all my life I had chosen the wrong path.
I could never forget who my father was or what that scum bag did to my brother. I had seen him torturing my mother with my own eyes before the divorce. I was a kid back then and the only thing I did was screaming and crying. After the divorce I thought that the bastard won't return and wreck havoc in our lives.
But my illusion and false sense of security almost took away Nolan from us. He had to suffer so much because of my fault. I could never save my family from harm, they were always hurting, I couldn't save Calla from what her parents did, I couldn't warn her not to get involved with my messed up brother. I knew that she was falling for him, her feelings were right there but despite knowing that Nolan was complicated kid, I didn't stop her - all because I wished she would be able to save him. My foolishness and assumption ended up hurting my best friend and my brother in a worst possible way.
I dragged Alice and Rowell in this, forcing them to become a part of us. I was Alice friend, I was supposed to help her and show her the right way, and instead I made her walk on a path I wanted her to walk on.
I was the one who let Kenji get involved in what we did. I let him walk on the dangerous rope as well. I was the one who let him get shot.
I was the one who made this group, thinking that chaos would solve the problem; I was always under the impression that I would be the one controlling things, people and worst of all ...lives. My mother who never misses church often said to me that God never likes arrogant people. I guess I understood her now. What had I been doing all these years? What had we been doing? Kidnapping people, stealing from homes, breaking into properties, messing up with other people lives - now as I took one look back at the things we did, it hit me that I never took responsibility of what I was doing.
I was living under pretence that I could do anything, protect anyone and always repair things. Wrong! Wrong! Wrong! I should have never let myself and my friends are part of this ridiculous work. I should have saved Nolan from my father. I should have reported him long ago when he was hurting my mother. I should have told Calla not to fall for Nolan. I should have behaved like a true friend and helped Alice in a different way instead of turning her into a criminal. I should have saved Kenji from getting shot. I should have told Iris how right she was.
I should have stopped her from leaving and knowledge that I let her go because of my own words hurt so much. It burned my chest in a way that breathing became difficult.
Johnny Law had been living a false life. A life filled with errors and blunders, mistakes and regrets. All the things that was impossible to reverse.
''I am such an idiot.'' I said to myself, fisting my hands and staring up at the clear blue sky. Clear eh? Maybe it was the right time to get even with myself, clear my mind and break the mirror of delusions.
And just like that I saw her.
She was standing on the other side of the street, crowd bustled around her but she had stopped in the middle like a pregnant pause between an awkward conversations. Only it was not a conversation, we were right there, both of us staring at each other with mixed feelings. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, surprised at the unplanned encounter. Maybe that was a better way of meeting her again, unannounced and suddenly.
I took one step forward and she took a step back.
A second later she was turning away and walking towards the other side, away from me. She was still mad and had no intention to talk to me. Was this okay? Watching her leave all over again and standing there like an utter fool with a sullen expression?
No! I had to stop her this time. Any more days without making her listen and I will end up doing something horrible. I took the decision and ran after her, dodging and bumping into angry people on my way, leaving a trail of insults behind me and being proud of my tolerance level.
''Iris!'' I caught up with her and jogged as she kept ignoring me, ''please hear me out!'' She didn't stop; in fact she didn't even bother to glance at me,
''Leave me alone'' she uttered,
''You can't leave me hanging!'' I tried again, desperation hanging on my voice, ''please give me a chance.'' My words didn't leave any effect on me. I took a good look around and taking the advantage of the deserted street I grabbed her elbow, making her stop.
''I will do it anyway.'' I whispered and grabbed her shoulders tightly. I winced as she struggled and tried to hit me with her legs. Damn I really hated manhandling girls like this; it made me look like an obsessive boy friend.
''Look I don't wanna hurt y-''
''Let me go or say goodbye to your pretty face.'' She threatened with a low voice. Where did she learn that? Was it Calla? Had they been ganging up against me and exchanging tips?
''I just wanna explain!''
''I don't want to know!'' she screamed louder, ''I need time okay? Please let me g-''
''Everything I did was wrong,'' I interrupted her, ''I have realized my mistakes. That night I was worried about Kenji and the words just spilled. I never wanted to hurt you, I was such a fool. Please punish me in any possible way. Kick me everywhere, punch my face until it's unrecognizable but don't be silent like this!'' She stared at me for a moment and I saw in her eyes that none of this made any difference. Her eyes held so much anger and hurt that I couldn't bear to see anymore. I dropped her arms and let her go.
As she was walking away from me I recalled Marian's word from before. Honesty, that's what she talked about. I had to tell Iris my real feelings instead of searching excuses just to make her come back.
''You were right,'' I called from my place; I didn't need to look her way to see that she had paused. Iris turned to face me, this time a new kind of surprise was flickering in her eyes.
I swallowed, ''I am a bad person Iris. Everybody suffered on my stead. I was wrong. My ways were wrong, my whole life - it was all wrong. But you were right...'' This time when I walked towards her, she didn't back away.
''I am a manipulative piece of shit and the blame of everything that happened is on me. I am sorry for making you go through that. I am really sorry. I am a bad person,'' I repeated, ''but you've made me see that. It's funny how we are so wrapped up in our own little world that only other people can shake up awake and show us the right way. You showed me the right way Iris, in fact you are the way.''
She was overwhelmed; I could tell that by her reaction. For a moment she simply gave me wide eyed look, holding questions that she wanted to ask. Her feelings that were struggling to free them self and fall over both of us like late summer rain.
It wasn't until I moved another step that I realized how close we were, my hands were touching her arms again and this time she didn't struggled. I looked in her eyes, burning flames formed a reflection. For once I was listening to my heart and we were both leaning into each other - one more movement and our lips would touch.
Only they did not.
Because a second later she looked behind me and screamed my name.
With years of being in a business of recklessness I had enough practice to encounter the situation like this. Thankfully I moved fast and whirled around while pushing her out of the way. My hand came in contact with the knife as I stopped it coming my way. The man that had attacked us was slow compared to our speed and had zero sense of coordination. When it came to handling the weapon, he was worst than Rowell.
I hit his hand with my other arm sending the hue knife flying. It clattered on the ground and the man let out an angry howl. I dodged his punch and kicked his knees - something I had learned from watching Iris. He was bad at handling his own weight and with ease I managed to push him on the ground. I didn't wait and reached for Iris who was watching the show, standing baffled.
''We're running!'' I told her,
''But we-'' suddenly the man grabbed my neck by sneaking his thick arm around it. I struggled to free myself but instead he threw me on the wall. This time I failed to save myself and my head hit the bricks pretty badly. I sunk on my knees as the world spun around me but despite the thin streak of blood running down my face I concluded that the real target was Iris.
I tried to get up and help her but the world around me became too blurry to focus. The only thing I saw before passing out was Iris lunging at the man and kicking him on the face. He grabbed his knife and attacked her arm, I watched in horror as he managed to wound it. Blood poured out of the wound but it didn't stop her. As if the knife had made her stronger. Iris didn't hold back this time, she fought like a pro. Her punches landing on the man's stomach, she avoided his hits with elegance and practice.
Seconds later I heard a heavy mass hitting the ground.
* * * *
Iris
''I really hate soup, specially the one from can.'' Rowell growled, staring at the bowl with utter disgust. For once I agreed with him, in past months of my life I had lived on can soup since it was the only edible thing I had ability to cook. Actually it couldn't be considered cooking since we only had to heat it.
''Law is still down, it's not like you have any choice!'' Calla snapped at him with annoyance. I couldn't blame her since it was the third time he had whined about the same thing. After I was finished with the man I had called Calla and she and Alice were on their way home. They found us about five minutes later and we piled up in the minivan. Moving Johnny inside was the biggest hurdle; I didn't imagine he would be this heavy.
When we got to the warehouse, Rowell and Sully were already there. Sully had come back from my house since it was Sunday and most of the servants were suppose to be on leave.
''Does Johnny cooks for you all the time?'' I inquired, though the thought of such things felt ridiculous.
''Dee dad Books'' he said between mouthfuls and received a slap on the shoulder from Alice,
''don't speak with your mouth full!'' she snapped at him and then turned to me, ''he means to say that he has cooks at home.'' Oh yeah, Rowell was suppose to be a mega rich brat, how did I forget that?
''I never asked you this Iris, but do you know how to cook food? I mean you must have been doing this for your self and Drew...''
I gave Alice a pained look, ''the only thing I can cook nicely are omelet and tea.''
''How did you survive?'' It the probably the first thing Sully had ever asked me. I was a bit surprised by his sudden attention. That's when I remember how much of a food lover he was. I guessed that was the only topic which held his interest.
''Marian,'' I answered briefly, ''she always cooked food for us.''
''Hmm, just like Law. Its good to have a friend you cab rely on.'' Calla mused,
''Ugh I am never leaving home without eating food again,'' we heard Rowell say yet again, ''I hate soup.'' And I had an urge to smack his head. For once the other people in the room agreed.
We were all gathered up in the main room. I sat on the chair with Alice while Rowell and Sully were sitting around the half broken table where we discussed stuff. Calla had been pacing around with a restless look on her face. I didn't blame her, we were all worried about things.
Apparently James knew that I was free and it was safe to assume that they had managed to find out about Johnny's betrayal. In summary, our lives were in danger. It was only matter of time when he would find Drew as well and try to harm him in order to blackmail me.
Then there was the real Steve Bradley - the uncle I hadn't talked to since forever. He was in my old room here, the small one upstairs. Nowadays, all he did was eating and sleep. According to Alice, he was very weak since they never really fed him real food. She said that he was also traumatized and didn't want to talk to anyone. I was really anxious about the matter because any day now I would have to face him and a new guilt would land on my shoulder. I wasn't sure if he would agree to help us with the will.
Actually that won't be needed anymore.
I stood up when I saw Johnny walking out of the room, a bandage wrapped around his head, he didn't look good but anything was better than being shot. He caught my eye and gave me a weak smile. I on the other hand could only stare back with a strange squirming in my gut. I was trying to forget what had happened earlier but now that he stood in front of me, it was next to impossible to let my mind stray away from the matter. I could've kissed Johnny Law if that man hadn't shown up. Oh God, it was so embarrassing and awkward. What were we thinking anyways?
''Hey Folks, I am back.'' He announced and immediately had everyone's attention, he sat with Rowell and gave everyone a smile, ''I know you guys were worried. But I am alright now, things were difficult at first but I am sure we will work it out.''
''Stop talking like you just came back from war.'' Calla grumbled but I could see how relieved she was,
''Anyways, do you realize the situation Law? We are caught.'' Rowell came to business almost immediately. His face was sober and he had pushed aside the bowl he had been making faces at.
''don't worry, it will take David ages to find this place,'' Johnny replied, ''the good thing is we have Steve Bradley with us and until he is ready we will use him to show the court that James is a fake.''
''Yeah, that's still an option.''
''No its not'' five pair of eyes stared at me, holding questions in them. I crossed my arms over my chest and walked in the middle of the room, ''we wont do anything like that.''
''What does that mean?'' Johnny asked,
''For the past week I've been thinking about it. Kenji getting shot was painful for all of us and right now I don't wanna fight about who to blame,'' Johnny instantly looked away, guilt evident, ''but the thing is that this was more dangerous that either of us imagined and now that James know that I am free and have Steve with me - God knows what he will do.''
Calla was the first one to rise up and conclude what I was saying, ''You mean to say-''
''I am done with this.'' The statement felt heavy, like I had dropped bricks on their heads. Rowell and Alice exchanged wide eyed looks, probably not believing what I had said. Sully didn't react much except snapping his eyes to my direction. I peered at Johnny; he just looked down and ran a hand through his fingers.
''I know you are worried but we can still do this! We got this far and now you wanna quit?''
I faced Calla, silently feeling grateful that she had accepted me, that she was more than willing to help me even in these circumstances, ''Its not about you guys. I know you tried your best to help me and are capable enough but-'' I struggled to find right words. After talking to Johnny I had realized that there was no use in fighting him, I had never expected him to say the things he told me at that street. Every time I recalled his words, I felt bad for being rude to him. I should have understood that he was worried about Kenji and it made him say all that stuff. I should have listened to Calla earlier. The point was, after seeing Johnny getting hurt by that man I had realized how much he mattered in my life. I didn't want to lose him, or any of these guys.
I was so caught up with the things he said that night, I forget all that he did for my sake. I owed him a lot of things but never once did he make me realize the debt.
''I don't want to see him hurt you guys. No matter how smart you are ... James is more powerful, he's got men working under him, dangerous people that could kill for money and none of us are willing to do the same. The road is very lethal and I can't let anyone of you get hurt because of me.''
''Iris...'' Alice looked sad at the prospect; to be honest I was too. All these days I had been waiting for the day when everything in my life would go back to normal. When Drew will be alright and I could live with him in peace. I should have known that it was too much to ask for.
''Please don't make me regret this decision,'' I pleaded and then without fearing I looked straight at Johnny, when our gazes were locked I said, ''you guys are my friends and I can't bear to see you suffer for me. So please, as friends, understand what I am trying to say. I am very happy for everything you did for me, you helped me when I had lost all hope but I think I can't afford to be greedy. Your friendship is more than enough for me, I don't want anything back.''
Nobody said anything for a while and I gave them time to digest the information. Despite the fact that they didn't speak for once I was aware of their feelings. They didn't blame me, in fact I had made them see my point clearly and they respect that. It was funny how a month ago I would have laughed at the thought of being friends with these people and now we had developed a connection where I finally understood them enough - no room for assumptions and no trust issues.
''I'll go to James and tell him I don't have any intention of coming in his way. If he says that we'll probably leave from here as well. As long as Drew is safe, I am ready to talk to James.''
''don't you think it's better to discuss this with him as well?'' Alice asked,
I shook my head, ''I will never involve Drew in this matter. And I know he will go with what I said. We don't have any other options.''
''Since Iris said everything clearly I think its time I do the same.'' Johnny stated blatantly, his face gave nothing away. I narrowed my eyes and exchanged a glance with Calla who shook her head. Apparently she had no idea what this was about.
He took a deep breath and paused to look at everyone before saying anything. I noticed how strained his voice was, as if he had been contemplating the words for quite some time and the final conclusion was difficult for him.
''What is it Law?''
''I have decided that I am also quitting,'' when nobody spoke and gaped at him instead, he continued, ''in fact we all are ending this little adventure of ours which had stretched longer than it was suppose to be.''
If I had managed to silence everyone with my words, Johnny had dropped a bomb on our heads. I wasn't sure who reacted first but I heard a spoon clattering on the tiled floor and it broke the state of trance I was in.
''Law, are you drunk?'' Calla asked, she was just as shaken as everybody else. By the looks of it, Johnny had already practiced his words; he had been expecting the incredulity by his friends and was prepared to face it,
''You guys knew this was coming,'' for some reason he looked at Rowell when he said it, ''come to think of it, what is it we are doing anyways? Always putting our lives in danger for money and adventure. But Iris made me realize that we are not invincible - just like she said. One day or another something bad will happen, were than getting shot. We might face a situation where the damage would be irreversible. I don't want that to happen, the incident with Kenji was more than enough.''
Nobody raised any questions this time. By judging everyone faces I was sure that throughout this week they were all wondering about the same thing, troubled and frustrated. I wasn't sure if it was a good or a bad thing.
Johnny continued, ''How long are we gonna keep this up guys? We're not kids anymore, we have to become adults and be responsible for ourselves. Nothing matters more than our lives and I am no longer gonna gamble with that.''
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ''I have already made my decision and I have no intention of changing it. You guys are free to choose your own.''
''Law, are you sure about this?'' Alice asked, sadness shadowed her voice,
Johnny looked defeated, I had always seen a confident side of him but watching his crestfallen expression made something inside my stomach squirm, ''Yeah, I am sure. I don't think I will be able to take part in this anymore.''