Chapter Thirty Four
~
I can only take so much.
I can only take so much of being alone. Without my friends. Without my family.
Kinda like a glass of water. It starts off empty and the more you add, the less it can hold. Eventually that cup's gonna overflow. And I need to stop that before it can happen.
That's my plan for today. To dump out a little bit of that water. To take it back. And I'm gonna start with my friends.
For the first time in a few weeks, I walk into the lunch room with my head held high. I didn't care to look where my friends had chose to sit today.
I just kept my vision on Will.
He said if I needed anything, I could come to him. And I really do need him right now.
As I approached his table, I tried my best to ignore Louis. He was sitting right next to him.
"Will," I said out loud, stopping when I'm beside him.
He looked up at me and smiled that same "Will smile."
"Hey y/n, what's up?" He shrugged and popped a fruit snack in his mouth. I held my breath when I noticed Louis looking at me.
"I need to talk to you. Can you follow me really quick?" I say super fast, hoping to get away from Louis as soon as possible.
Will pulls his brows together and hesitantly stands up, "Okay? Is something wrong or-"
I cut him off my grabbing his wrist and yanking him with me as I head toward the lockers. Will let out a little "oof" and quickly followed.
I go two rows in and let go of his wrist.
"You said if I needed anything I should come to you. And I really do need something right now," I say a little out of breath.
He nods and listens for me to continue.
"I need my friends to be okay first. I can work things out with Louis another time but right now, I need my friends," I take a deep breath.
"So after school, could you find a way to get Finn to the south side park?"
Instantly I see confusion on his face.
"Wait you're gonna fix things by dragging him to a children's playground?"
I roll my eyes playfully and give him arm a gentle punch.
"I'm serious Will. Find a way to get him there. Any way. Just don't mention anything about me. Okay?"
Nervously, he chuckles a bit.
"When I said I'm always here for you, I kinda meant if you need to rant. I didn't sign up to be some sort of spy-"
"Will please. After this I'll be out of your hair," I try to convince him, but all I get is a goofy smirk.
"I'm kidding. Of course I'll help. I mean it might be difficult but I can do it," he agrees.
Relief and worry flood me simultaneously, and I heave a breath.
"Thank you. Thank you so so much."
For a moment I think of giving him a hug, but decide against it.
"Always welcome. I'm gonna get back to my table, yeah?" He starts to take careful steps back, his smile not once leaving his lips.
I nod and wave.
"Yeah... I'll see you later... oh and thank you! Again!"
I see his hand stick up over the lockers in a thumbs up position as he walks away.
I grin a little and pull out my phone.
He just acts like nothing happened. And it's relieving to know that we can still be friends.
I stare down at my phone screen for a moment, looking at new notifications.
But one of them caught my attention.
Instagram
One new message from: millie.sj.partridge
I click on it.
______________________________
millie.sj.partridge
millie.sj.partridge
hey y/n!!
did something happen between you and louis?
he's been rlly down recently and won't tell me why
you don't have to share anything if you don't want, I'm just concerned
______________________________
I feel my heart skip a beat and a wave of panic washes through my gut. Now she can see that I read it.
With a deep breath, I reply.
______________________________
millie.sj.partridge
millie.sj.partridge
hey y/n!!
did something happen between you and louis?
he's been rlly down recently and won't tell me why
you don't have to share anything if you don't want, I'm just concerned
y/n_hawke16
hey millie :)
me and louis got into an argument a few weeks ago. mainly just about the whole fake dating it thing and about my friends. im sorry if i'm the reason he's been down :((
______________________________
I close my eyes for a moment, and decide to text her one more thing
______________________________
y/n_hawke16
can you tell him im sorry? for everything. and I'll try to fix things with my friends
______________________________
I hit send and quickly turn off my phone. Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have sent that last text.
I hurry out of the locker banks with my lunch in hand and head to the bathrooms, never once pausing to look over at the cafeteria.
I really hope I made the right choice.
~
The rest of my day went by in a blur. Ever since Will agreed to help me with Finn, it's all I've thought about.
Fixing this, that is.
I need my best friend back. I need all of them back.
Swinging on the swing set, I open my phone to text Will.
Will🙃
y/n
is he with you??
Will🙃
yup
we're walking to the park
y/n
okay good
you'll be here soon??
Will🙃
About 5 minutes
The second you get ahold of him I'll peel
Sound good??
y/n
Perfect
Thank you so much
Will🙃
No problem :))
Let me know if it works
y/n
I will!!
I turn off my phone and feel my heart pounding. He's gonna hate me for this. I know it. I know Finn.
But I need this. I need to talk to him an figure this out.
Around five minutes later, just as Will had said, I heard them.
"Dude seriously what's the surprise? There's nothing here," I heard Finn say.
With a head turn, I see them walking closer and closer. I slouch a little bit in the swing and feel myself getting worried.
"Just wait for a second..." Will responded, his eyes searching around the playground for me. When our eyes locked he smiled and started leading Finn over.
Here goes nothing.
They came closer and closer.
Until Will stopped, and Finn saw me.
"Oh you've gotta be kidding," he mumbled and turned around, but Will had already ran off. He was sprinting down the road, not once looking back.
"Wait is this a setup?" Finn yelled over at Will but got no answer.
I felt blood rush to my cheeks when Finn turned back to me. He looked pissed. Really pissed.
"Are you fuckin' serious right now y/n?" He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands into his coat pockets.
I bit my lip and patted the swing beside me, gesturing for him to sit down.
Finn looked from me, to the seat, back to me. And then very hesitantly, he walked over and trudged his shoes in the small pebbles that coated the floor of the park.
When Finn sat next to me, I can say with confidence that I felt like throwing up.
"What do you want?" He asked, his tone seemingly annoyed. I took a really deep breath.
"I'm sorry."
That definitely caught his attention. Because he quickly looked at me with softer eyes. It tore me up a little bit.
"I'm so sorry for abandoning you. I know I shouldn't have made you guys feel that way," I can hear my voice shaking lightly.
Finn looks down at the ground below him and I notice a muscle in his jaw tense.
"I miss you guys," I feel a burning through my eyes and try my best to not let a tear slip out.
Finn looks over to me, and to my surprise he didn't try to keep it in. He had a few small drops falling down his pink cheeks.
"I know," he says, "and we miss you too."
I sniff a little and let a tear fall.
"And I know I messed up. I know," he shuts his eyes right and lets his head fall into his hands.
"I said you were a problem and you're disgusting and I- I said all you do is fuck him which is so gross. I don't even know where that came from," he chuckles a little.
I couldn't help but smile a bit.
"I'm sorry," his lip quivered a little and he looked back at me, "I didn't mean any of it."
I bit my tongue and couldn't take it anymore. I just let it out and stood up, walking over to him.
He stood up as well.
I quickly wrap my arms around him and cry. I missed this so much. I missed him.
I missed Finn.
He hugged me too, one of his hands on my back and the other on my head.
"I'm sorry," I whisper one last time into his ear, hugging him even tighter.
"I'm sorry too..."
We're both quiet for a minute.
He lightly pulls away and uses his thumb to wipe away my tears before looking into my eyes for a moment. He gives me a little smirk.
"But the sun's yellow."
"Orange."
~
A/N: First make up: done
Four to go
Psa: my goal is to finish this book by the end of August and there's still so much that needs to happen so if you ever feel like I'm rushing just let me know and I'll try to slow it down. Thank you <3