The window view outside the coffee shop was gloomy, gray clouds, preparing to rain shortly. Around this time the shop wasn't as busy, so the conversations were mellow. The order and pickup lines had a few customers waiting and I was thankful for it. I enjoyed the peaceful silence the coffee shop offered this time of day, while occupying one of the round, wooden tables with a empty seat ahead of me. Pushing up the sleeve of my oversize cardigan, I looped my finger in handle, picking it up to my lips, and sipped on the espresso, savoring the flavor.
Hearing the sound of a gentle fuss makes me place the cup down, averting my eyes to the chocolate color bassinet stroller and stared at the infant with a soft brown hue squirming underneath the blanket. The scowl the baby made had me reach for the pacifier next to her face that fell out and put it back in. The pacifier soothed the infant immediately and expression softened.
I smiled placidly at the first infant I ever had—Arya Faye Gathers. I didn't realize how much one person could bring me so much joy until I pushed out this bundle of mine. Discovering that I was having a girl honestly terrified me, because I had no clue how to raise a daughter, especially when mine gave me up. But, having Caren's guidance helped me tremendously. Even though I've only been doing this for five months I feel I'm the best mother I know how to be.
The unconditional love I felt when I placed that little girl on my chest and she opened her eyes and looked at me for the first time.
Who knew one small human would make me feel like I could do no wrong?
The bell entrance of the coffee shop averted my gaze to the door and seen the person I am meeting come in from the cloudy outside. She looked around for a second before she spotted me, and walked over wearing blazer dress and nice pointy toe heels. Her brown tresses were straight and recently cut in a shoulder-length bob.
"Hey!" She came over and hugged me, then looked into the stroller. "Look at her," she spoke quietly as she cooed over Arya. "She's so beautiful."
I smiled as she sat in the empty seat ahead of me and ordered herself a Caramel Latte and Salmon Bagel when the waiter came over.
"How's everything at the bank, Norms? Are they more open?"
"Eh, on the fence." Norms replied and we both snickered. "Everybody misses you up there."
As of two months ago, I wasn't the bank manager at Gordon Bank anymore. I put in my notice and just felt that wasn't for me anymore. I had something else in the works, something that would make real change.
Even with me not being employed at this moment, I was very well off when it came to finances—Thanks to the saving account I opened my last year of college. Growing up as under privileged as I did, it helped me be responsible with money and save.
"Yeah, I miss them too. But, I want to do more."
"I totally understand." Norms said as the waiter returned with the items she ordered. "As long as you are happy. You know, our Dad's having a Gordon Foundation luncheon next week. I know he's called you about it but I wanted to know if you were coming."
Every since the Normandi practically ambushed me with Winston Gordon—my birth father—we have actually start to build a relationship, despite what Joie told me. That night Winston was actually nice. He came up to the condo, drank on some tea, and he wanted to know everything about me. He even apologized for not being in my life. I was tired of holding grudges towards my birth parents, so I let it go and accepted the apology for what it was.
Lately Norms and me have been developing our own bond.
"I'd love to, but I don't have a babysitter for Arya."
"That's an easy fix. Our childhood nanny Wendy can watch Arya." Norms offered, "I'm sorry."
I chuckled lightly and knew she was apologizing for mentioning a perk of her childhood that I didn't have. "You don't have to apologize for the way you grew up Norms. Embrace it."
"I know. It just feels unfair that you didn't get to be raised the way we were. You're a family."
"I just lived the life I was dealt." I shrugged, rocking the stroller gently. "It might've not been easy at the time, but I'm stronger because of it. Not everyone makes it out. But I did. You can reach out to Wendy, I'll meet her, and we'll go from there."
Norms nodded, in understanding. "Right. On the bright side, you can finally meet Alton."
Alton Gordon—her older brother that's my age. "And how does he feel about meeting me? Does he even know he's my brother?"
"He does."
"And your mother?" I felt the need to ask, which was an important question. "You can be honest."
"My parents have been married for decades and you're no secret to her. She knows you'll be in attendance—if you choose to go."
I nodded. "What's the attire?"
"Dressy casual. I really hope you're able to come. Wendy's a great woman."
Normandi and me were at the coffee shop and enjoying conversation until I had to get Arya home before the rain came down. Norms was holding the door open for me, while I pulled out Arya's stroller. The stroller was out fully and we walked the sidewalk to my vehicle.
"Andi?"
The voice was familiar and caused me to look straight ahead. My heart dropped at one of the women I recognized.
"Ms. Henri."
There stood Hassan's mother, Cree, ahead of me, wearing a lavallière-neck sleeveless top with belted mid-length trousers. A front knot headscarf was on top of her head. The woman beside her was full-figured with suede, bronze skin and wore a matching crop top, and slit skirt. She shared features with Cree, so I assumed she was one of her daughters.
"Hey love," Cree greeted. "It's been a while."
"It has." I nodded when it fell into a awkward silence, "Oh this is my sister Normandi."
"Nice meeting you," Cree gave Norms a head nod. "This is one of my daughters Dawn. Dawn, this is Andi."
"Ohh. You're Andi." Dawn stared me down, "You the one that stood us up at the barbecue. My brotha was excited for us to meet you. Honestly, so was I. More than my sister's. But not anymore, since you know, you broke his heart."
Cree grabbed her daughter's hand, when her gaze landed on the stroller. "You...have a baby."
As if God was on my side, I felt sprinklers hit my arm. "Um, yeah. I have to go. It was nice seeing you, Ms. Henri." I rushed away with Norms and the stroller, unlocking my Audi.
"Ex-boyfriend's mother?"
"Um...yeah." I opened the back, passenger door and put Arya into her car seat and safely buckling her in. Her stroller I placed in the trunk. "I'll call you later?"
"Of course."
I was in the driver seat, and drove Ayra home. By the time I pulled into the driveway of my new home I owned, the rain started pouring down and I had to jog carefully with Arya's carseat and up the steps under the roof that blocked us from the rapid raindrops the gray clouds released.
"We're almost in Muffin," I sat her carseat on the porch for a second and to unlock the red front door with small side windows. I pushed open the door of the two bedroom house and ushered Arya's car seat in. As soon as my feather-trimmed thong sandals touched the hardwood floor, the kick of the air blowing out the vents hit my skin and caused a shiver throughout my body. "Whew! It's ice cold in here."
I shut and locked the door, then reached to pick up Arya, who was wide awake. "Beautiful baby!" I cooed, smooching her chubby cheeks.
Arya babbled, slobbering on her tiny hands.
"Time to eat, Muffin." I raised one side of my tank top and Arya latched onto my left breast while I kicked of my sandals and walked over to the thermostat and turning off the air. "Wanna watch Netflix with Mommy?"
I planted a seat down on the chocolate color couch after grabbing the remote to the flatscreen. "I hope so, because you're all Mommy has right now." I clicked the Netflix app.
I turned on Manifest and even though I was addicted to the show, Arya had my main attention. I smiled softly, gently rubbing my finger down the bridge of her nose and her eyes fluttered shut for a second. I was blessed.
Then a sudden feel of guilt dropped my smile slowly.
What I was doing to this beautiful girl wasn't fair. Arya had a father out there and just because I made my mistake doesn't mean I need to punish Arya for it. I know how it felt to not have either parent in my life and I didn't want to put Arya through that. Both Hassan and Jarvis deserved to know that they possibly have a daughter.
Searching the Dallas Cobras schedule on Google, I seen they were in Utah, so I chose to use the number I haven't used in months.
"Long time no speak," the rich voice spoke in my ear.
"Hey. Are you busy?"
"For you, no."
I blew out air. "I'm going to send you my new address. Come over. We gotta...talk."
He was all for it and was on the way right after I sent my location. Arya was sleep and in her nursery.
I was pacing back and forth along the hardwood floor in the living room when headlights pulling in the driveway caught my attention. Soon after, the lights shut off and I fixed my oversized cardigan and blew out a deep breath. I rushed over to the door and opened it, so the doorbell wouldn't disrupt Arya's sleep. He stood on the porch and dressed in the usual pricey two-piece suit.
"Didn't want you to wake—Come in." I opened it wider and his expensive loafers came in.
"Wake who?"
I shut the door and released yet another breath. "Um, I didn't stay in touch for a reason Jarvis. I...got pregnant. And I didn't tell you because as embarrassing as it is, I didn't know if you were her father."
Jarvis's head tilted, with furrowed eyebrows. "Her?"
"Her name's Arya."
He exhaled sharply, "I, uh, don't really know how to respond to the fact you hid that from me, especially if it was a possibility she was mine."
"I know, and I'm wrong for letting it happen."
"Yeah." He concurred. "Can I see her?"
I leaded Jarvis down the short hallway and to Arya's nursery across from my bedroom. Her bunny-theme nursery was dimmed from the plug-in night light and soft baby tunes played. I spent a nice amount of time working on the nursery that features all-over gray, and neutral palette with splashes of salmon pink, in the curtains and floral design on the rug. I had someone hand paint the illustration on the walls around the room, while a white armchair and ottoman gave me a cozy spot to cuddle with Arya.
"If you don't mind, can you remove your shoes? She lays on the rug."
Jarvis didn't mind and removed his shoes, and walked across the rug in his dark socks and to the ivory wood crib that has a large stuffed giraffe beside it. Jarvis peered down at peaceful sleeping Arya, analyzing her quietly.
A smile planted on Jarvis's mouth. "She's beautiful. What's her middle name?"
"Faye. Arya Faye."
Jarvis fell quiet once more before he asked, "Can I hold her?"
"I would let you, but I rather wait until after the DNA test. I don't want you to bond too much with her, especially if—"
"She not mine," he finished and came over by me. "I get it."
We came out of Arya's nursery and he slipped back on his shoes. "When you tryna do the test?"
"Soon. I want to talk to the other guy first and go from there."
Jarvis nodded. "It's been six months, Andi, how you been?"
"I've been well," I folded my arms across my chest. "I left the bank last month, trying a different career patch."
"Oh yeah, what?"
"An outreach program."
"I can see that."
"What about you, how you been?"
"Well, I'm opening' two more ClubOne's in Oklahoma City and Charlotte—you know that's where my roots com' from."
"And the lounge with Cairo and Jade?" I wondered.
"Yeah, it's still opening with them. After those allegations came out bout buddy, I gave my percentage off to Jade. I can't be associated wit nobody that physically abuse women. No matter if it's true or not."
Great to hear that there are some men still have morals. "So it's still opening?"
"In the Summer, yeah. He still a big figure in Dallas and people still wanna work wit 'em."
Of course. I rolled my eyes. "Well I'm glad you came by."
Jarvis followed me to the front door and I opened it for him. The rain slowed down, hitting onto the pavement. He turned to me, peering down. "I really hope she mine. It'll be my only daughter."
"Once you take the test, we'll see."
Jarvis embraced me, unexpectedly, and pressed a kiss on my forehead. He stepped back, holding onto my cardigan-covered shoulders. "Good night beauty."
"Night Jarvis."
Jarvis went out into the light rainfall and I closed the door. One down, Hassan to go.
I even tried to send Hassan a message, but I'm blocked.
Ohhhh-kay.
▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀