two weeks later . . .
-
"i miss myself.. i miss my old self." she said while crying.
the young psychiatrist just took a deep breath, "if you miss your old self, you should think about the times when you are still happy."
while she's crying, she laughed then she shaked his hands several times like a kid. then she pointed her both fingers, "jaxvier.. akin lang si jaxvier. siya ang nasa isip ko."
"you miss your old self but why you're still thinking the person who won't love you?" he said, by the way.. he's the psychiatrist. he's just staring to yvonne that wearing white plain long daster, has messy hair and also.. haggard face because of crying everyday.
he's talking like that to yvonne. may time na tumitino yung utak ni yvonne at bumabalik siya sa normal na pag-iisip. pero madalian lang, pero ngayon.. iba dahil parang tumagal yung pagkatino niya ngayon. but still, kahit ganun.. bukambibig niya lagi si jaxvier at yesha. nahihirapan pa din yung pyschiatrist sa kanya.
she really wants to be happy again but she can't. because she still can't accept the reality that jaxvier will never love her again.
in short, she has disease called.. anosognosia and schizophrenia.
but the pyschiatrist is always at her side to help her to realize things. he's just at her side to comfort and let yvonne know that he's always there and he will not leave her. he makes her feel like she is not alone.
"i love him so much.. i love him. i love jaxvier!" she shouted while crying and she started to hold her head. then she started laughing. she also started shouting things about jaxvier.
the pyschiatrist stood up and he took the injection to scare yvonne, "it's time to sleep, yvonne."
mas lalo lang umiyak si yvonne nung nakita niya yun, unting-unti siyang lumalayo para hindi siya matusukan ng injection na pampatulog.
"NOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!" she shouted then she covered her face. she's really scared on injections. she have trauma on it.
lagi kasi siyang tinutusukan ng pampatulog kasi alam niyo naman na laging nababaliw. diyan lang siya titigil kapag may injection na siyang nakokita. the psychiatrist also felt sorry for her.
huminga ng malalim yung lalaki at dahan-dahan niyang ibinaba yung injection. lumapit siya kay yvonne na umiiyak, "sshhhh.. shhhh.. i won't. just behave and relax." he whispered to her.
hindi halata na pyschiatrist siya 'no?
tumingin naman si yvonne sa kanya at unting-unti ng humihina yung pag-iyak niya, "i miss me.. i miss my old self."
"then stop remembering the person who's the reason why you lost yourself." he simply said to her.
"i can't.. i love him. i miss the old times that we still love each other. i want to him back to me." she said.
"you can't back to your old self if you're like that." the psychiatrist. "you will be forever like this if you still don't know acceptance."
"yvonne.. learn to realize everything and let go of some important things. yes, it's hard but you need to for the good sake of yourself." he said to the girl who's still crying. "if you do that, you shouldn't be here. at alam ko, sasaya ang mga nagmamahal sayo na.. kaya mong sumurvive."
"and.. yvonne, remember yourself. have full pity on yourself. love yourself. because of loving someone, you lost and forget yourself. sa totoo lang, ikaw lang ang makapaggagaling sa sarili mo kapag naaalala mo ang sarili mo."
"yvonne, makakasurvive ka sa stage na 'to kapag naawa ka sa sarili mo. give love to yourself. think of yourself when you're hurt." he adviced to her. walang masabi si yvonne at umiiyak lang naman siya.
"you can do this, yvonne. i know that. don't waste the opportunity to realize things. don't waste yourself. alam kong marami ka pang pangarap. learn to realize what's wrong and right."
"don't give up, yvonne. be strong. you love youself, right? you want to be happy again, right? then.. gawin mong tumanggap ng katotohanan at aalahanin yung sarili mo. para bumalik ka na sa dati."
"you just love so much that.. jaxvier. you love him more than yourself. believe me, yvonne. you can forget him if you already know the right things. do this for yourself. i know he'll be happy for you."
"it's time to love your self, yvonne." the pyschiatrist guy said to him.
hindi makaimik si yvonne sa mga sinabi sa kanya ng binata. buti nalang timing na hindi siya umakto na baliw ngayon. iniisip niya naman yung mga salitang narinig niya at prinoposeso niya yun sa utak niya. pero mas lalo lang siyang naiiyak.
she's thinking that she can't do that because she's so weak for that.
umiling-iling naman si yvonne habang umiiyak, "i think, i can't. i want to do that. i really want to be happy again. i will try.. even it's hard."
"i want to be back on my old self. i feel bad about this. no one.. no one really loves me." yvonne.
huminga lang naman ng malalim yung lalaki at niyakap niya eto si yvonne ng bigla-bigla lang na para bang kaibigan niya lang yung baliw na kasama niya.
"if you can't, then i'm here at your side to help you. you will do that if you realize things.. slowly."
"and don't say that no one loves you. you're only saying that because you're just paying attention to the one person who you love. sa rason na, naging manhid ka na.. pati sa sarili mo." the psychiatrist said, still hugging her. naaawa na talaga siya sa sitwasyon ni yvonne.
"i just want to feel.. loved." yvonne.
"then i'm here. i'm here to feel you that you're not alone. i will make you feel that you deserve to be love." the psychiatrist said to him.
yvonne didn't say anything and she's still crying. but she hugged back the guy who's hugging her. the pyschiatrist just smiled when she did that.
"you just know me as your psychiatrist, but my name is jaemim." he introduced herself to her.
"thank you, jaemin."
-
charac na si
jaem d2 pero i guess konti
lang yung scenes niya d2 ㅜㅜ
ganto po kagwapo at
kabata yung pyschiatrist
ni yvonne.. jaemin aaaaaaaaa!