Taymor........
"Jamell?"
"You missed me?"
"The hell you doing here?"I asked mugging him. He scoffed pushing me out of the way and entering. This nigga! I rolled my eyes then huffed going in after him." I didn't invite you in."I muttered but he was already walking into the kitchen. The audacity! I watched him mugging him the entire time . He opened the fridge taking out a sprite." This ain't yoh house nigga the fuck? And stop fucking ignoring me! What you doing in my house nigga huh?"I went to grab the can out of his hands but he moved dodging me and walking out again. I growled stomping my foot. Aht aht this nigga got me all the way fucked up!
I followed him like a puppy as he went into my bedroom. He took off his jacket and threw it to the side then plopped on MY bed. He then fixed the pillows behind him getting comfortable. My mouth went slack.
"What do you think you are doing Jamell?"I yelled completely heated at this point. It's the nerve and the audacity for me.
"Oh so now he knows me. Funny."he chuckled drinking from the can eyeing me nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes kicking his legs off my comforter.
"Oh finally he remembers I exist? Funny."I mocked him looking at my nails. Two can play at that game. He was quiet after that but I could feel his eyes on me. I looked up at him. "The fuck you staring at?"
"I missed you. A lot. It's clear you didn't miss me though."a frown formed on his face. I pulled my head back stank eyeing him.
"You right. I ain't miss you at all. After you walk out on me no call no letter no nothing! What did you expect? That I would be waiting on Jesus and still wait on you? Nigga please."I rolled my neck one hand on my hip. He looked at me squarely before emptying the can into his mouth then throwing it on the floor. I pursed my lips. My eyes moved from him to the can then my eye twitched.
"Get out right now Demons!"I picked the can hitting him on the head with it. He didn't even flinch. "You got me all the way fucked up coming into my home and acting like you run shit! I don't give a fuck what you got to say. Fuck the explanation or excuses or whatever! Ion want nun from you, okay. I don't want you here and mata' fact ion wanna ever see yoh face again ight. So please exist and skip yoh way out my home. Please and thank you!" I retorted heading to the door and holding it open. He just looked at me not moving.
"I was in a hospital Taymor."he said with a straight face. I scrunched my face up for second registering what he just said.
"Okay and? I don't care. Leave my apartment Melly." I gestured to the door again.
"No. I mean all this time I been gone."
"What you talking about?"I asked now confused.
"Come're."he stretched his hand out for me from the bed.
"No. I'm good where I'm at."I crossed my arms leaning against the wall. He growled mugging me but I still didn't move. He don't intimidate me. And now I know he about to throw a fit.
"Taymor-fuck!"he suddenly hissed holding his head. His face concorted as if he was in pain. Eyes closed shut and lips curled up. I watched as he rummaged through his pockets frantically looking for something. Not finding whatever he was looking for he cussed again groaning as if he was in double pain.
He stumbled out of the bed staggering to where his jacket was kneeling down on it. He patted the pockets then ruffled it out in the air but I guess he didn't find what he was looking for. He leaned forward holding his head as he grunted in pain louder this time.
Now I was alarmed. I leaned up off the wall frowning.What was going on? Was he faking this to get my attention? I smacked my lips. He just tryna distract me so ion kick his ass out. My thoughts, however, were disrupted when he begun to cry. Straight out sobbing loudly at that.His shoulders shaking as he begun hit his head with his hands over and over pulling at the black bennie he had on. I bit on my lip had completely disregarding everything.My caring side had to spring up and I was at his side in a heart beat.
"Melly? You okay?"I asked confused and unsure. I didn't know what was going on with him. He suddenly held onto me his tears sipping into my grey t-shirt. I froze up.
"H-help me. Help me Tay....it hurts so bad..."he cried his fingers digging into my arm. Huh? What the fuck going on?
"What's happening? How do I help you? Talk to me Jamell."I was in full panic mode. He was crying so hard and grabbing on my arms even harder. He kept groaning and moaning in pain too through his crying.
"My car....it's...it's outside. Get me my-my p-pills....oh fuck!"he struggled to speak. What the fuck? "please..." He sobbed out. I've never seen him like this. Jamell crying is...is...is...uhm I have no word for it but its just not normal. Like at all! He the strongest motherfucker I done ever met. Always talm bout thugging feelings out especially when it came to crying.
"Okay lemme help you up."I tried lifting him up. He jacked scaring the fuck outta me.
"No! Just go!"he yelled lifting his body off me. My eyes widened and I just got up sprinting to the door. I ran out to his car which luckily wasn't locked. Stupid nigga! Black people always lock they shit twice at that!
I checked the glove compartment. It was the first place that came to mind. I finding a white pill bottle with no label, I opened it breathing heavily. Hopefully this was the one because there wasn't any other on sight. There was these huge ass white pills inside. I quickly closed the door running back inside.
"Is this it?"I asked kneeling beside him again. He looked left reaching his hand out. I frowned. The problem was I was at his right." I'm here." He snapped his head in my direction I guess following my voice his hand still reaching out.
"Give it to me."he swatted his hand around. What the hell? If I didn't know any better I would say he can't see. My heart dipped a bit in my chest. Making it easier for him I placed the bottle in his hand. He quickly opened it taking one pill out and swallowing without water.
I watched him at he leaned back hand on his face wiping it off. His eyes were closed shut. He was also trying to regulate his breathing.
"Jamell?"I called shakily.
"What?"he snakily replied. I swallowed hard shifting a bit.
"C-can you s-see me?"I asked my heart racing. He looked off to the side staring right past me.
"Of course I can."he licked his lips the gesture making my heart drop outta my ass. He's lying.
~®~
I played around with Jamell's fingers his head resting on my lap. I had helped him off the floor and back into the bed but first I made him take his shoes off. He was quiet and was avoiding looking at me. I was trying to wrap my head around the fact that he just went blind suddenly. I'm sure he can't see because when I tried giving him a bottle of water he made me put it in hands. I was still waiting for him to explain things to me because I was more than confused at this point.
"Tay?"he shifted slightly. I parked up at his voice.
"Yes?"my voice was dry and rough. I need me some water.
"I'm sorry."he mumbled. I said nothing continuing to play with his fingers. What exactly was he apologetic about? Abandoning me? Not communicating with me? Coming to my house announced? The sudden break down?? Or overall crushing my whole world? What? It was alot.
"Sorry bout what? I'mma need you to be a lil specific." I cleared my throat. He didn't say anything at first and we were back to that pensive silence.
" I have brain tumour Tay. I'm gonna die soon."he breathed out. I blinked freezing up. The words echoed in my head as I tried to understand them. An unexpected sound came from my mouth out of shock or may be surprise or both. My throat constricted and for a second all the air left my body. I stopped playing with his fingers my hands raising to cup my mouth.
No! I musta heard him wrong. Did he just say he finna die soon ? I moved his body off me swinging my legs to the other side and just stared at my carpet on the floor. My back was facing him.
"Wh-what?" I croaked out just to confirm.I really never expected that to come from his mouth. Nah I'm just dreaming right now. I'mma wake up and I will find myself on the couch with icecream on my face.
"I was diagnosed a year before I left but I just didn't take it as serious as I should been. Turns out it was pretty serious though. I started getting sick and It came to the point I couldn't ignore it any longer. I had to have surgery then under go chemo." He paused.
"All this time i've been there trying to get rid of it till recently when I had enough of the torturous expensive ass treatment. I was gonna die and I knew it."he spoke nonchalantly. My eyes instantly closed at his words. I don't why I felt the sudden flash of pain across my chest. I shook my head tears streaming from my eyes surprising me abit. I wanted to speak but I didn't trust my voice.
"I'm sorry I walked out on you. I ain't mean to and I was gonna come back. I swea I was. Please say something Tay." He pleaded and I felt his hand on my shoulder. I shook it off scooting further away from him.
"W-why you-why you ain't tell me?" I forced out batting my lashes as hell and my breathing already heavy. Why the fucj I'm i crying? And why does it hurt me this bad?
"You have no idea how it broke me to leave you Taymor but I just couldn't let you see the person I had turned into. For you- in your eyes, I've always been this strong person you could depend on. A person who could protect you. That's why I never said anything because in that hospital I was the complete opposite. Weak and defenseless. I didn't want to ruin the image you had of me-"
"Bullshit!" I cut in but he continued.
"The hope of seeing you again is what kept me sticking to the treatment until I couldn't take it anymore. The nausea and the weakness I was feeling was too much."he stopped breathing heavily. I looked at him over my shoulder and seen the tears staining his cheeks then looked back forward. I cried silently listening while on the other hand I didn't want to believe what I was hearing.
"I didn't plan on being away so long baby. I was gonna come back like I told you the day I left. Just as soon as the surgery was completely but shit went down hill. The surgery wasn't all the way successfully and I had to stay but I was determined to overcome it. For you. You was willing me to keep fighting."
"Do you hear yourself right now huh? All the nonsense coming out your mouth?" I cried slapping his hand away when he tried to touch me again.
"Just hear me out Tay-" he tried touching me again. I stood up shaking my head.
" No! Why you even telling me this right now Jamell? Is it cause you seen me with Kentrell? Huh is that it?"
"I was scared as fuck that you would move on and find someone else. I was right though."he chuckled dryly. "My very own cousin at that."I cringed just thinking about it. My whole life was fucked up.
"What did you expect Jamell? Hmmm? That I'd still be waiting on you all this time? Is that it?"
"Yeah-" I scoffed. This nigga!
" And what the fuck gave you that idea?!" I shrieked unable to believe this nigga.
" You know what we had Taymor. It wasn't no ordinary shit. Not something you could just forget and move on from-"
" You delusional that's what you is." I wiped my face staring at him like he was dumb. "You shoulda just stayed away." I shook my head.
"I had to see you though. I needed to. My aim in leaving the hospital in Seattle was to spend my last days with the love of my life. That's my only wish."he looked up at me with sadness. This time he could really see me.
" My blindness is only temporary. It could be worse. Like I can't feel my left leg."he laughed a bit as if something was funny.
"You had no right to keep this from me."I spoke my voice cracking once again. Thinking about I would've rather found out than be kept in the dark.
"Oh did I mention I was bald?"he cheesed taking off his beanie completely disregarding my statement. There wasn't a single strand of hair on his head. I could clearly make out the scar from the surgery all the way from here. "Chemo does that to you."he put the beanie back on shrugging.
I covered my face with my hands crying silently. I would rather he had left me to be with someone else and be okay and healthy than this. At least then I could comfortably hate him in peace. I wouldn't want this for anyone.
"Stop that! Stop doing that please. Acting like this is no big deal and-and you not talking bout dying right now." I mumbled when I felt him in front me pulling me into his arms. He hugged me and I just let him.
"I'm sorry." He said kissing my temple.
"F-fuck yoh sorry." I mumbled taking my hands off my face and hugging him back.
°^°
We all got that one person who we got love for no matter how many times they do us wrong. Had to rewrite a scene from my book because it happened to me. If you don't know what happened next go read my book CAN'T BE SAVED on my main account.