Department: Interspecies Relations
File number 235621
Item Code: 1a
Description: Item 1a is a three-page 8.5 by 11 pamphlet recovered from a border planet Tesraki mining colony . The manufacturer of the pamphlet is unknown, though general analysis shows that the paper used to print the pamphlet was not native to the colony or it is means of production. Plastic Microparticles found within the paper place its origin on a planet or colony high in synthetic manufacturing , while the fiber used to print the paper itself is native to a certain species of tree located on the poles of Irus, which are the planet's only lumber sources It can, therefore, be assumed that the raw materials were taken from Irus and then shipped to another Tesraki colony or homeworld.
Summary:
The contents of the pamphlet seem to be an attempt at anti-human literature designed to unsettle and scare the locals into mistrusting the human species. The document contains blatant falsehoods strategically littered with accurate factoids to help bolster the credibility of the statements. Additionally the literacy rates among colony members is rather low, with 90% of the population able to read but unable to identify logical fallacies within the paper, or research further to determine weather the sources and information are credible. It was likely this was done on purpose to spread the rumor of humanity without risking running into someone who would be able to properly question the assumptions displayed in the paper
Additional information: Though the source of the print is unknown, the pamphlet was supposedly sourced, and funded by a shell corporation called Mex Industries, which was connected to the similarly named, but active cooperation called Mendex Studio Entertainment, which has, in the past, been known for documentaries that placed more emphasis on profit margins than it did on the truth. The owner of the company, Mendex, once a famous TV personality was dropped by his producers after some of his stunts were overtly revealed to the public by human intervention. Since then his origins have been unknown.
HARMFUL HUMANITY
Everything you need to know about humans and how to avoid them.
Author: M. Dex
Human proliferation is becoming a large problem in our day and age. Spreading across the galaxy humans are landing upon every world and interacting with all groups of people. Some may argue that this is a step in the right direction, however, this pamphlet is here to guide you on understanding what the GA does not want you to know. Information that they have been actively hiding from you since we first contacted humans so many years ago.
1. Humans are disgusting, this is just a fact. As is known the human body and digestive system is filled with bacteria. It coats their skin to the point where the human body is more germ than it is human. The bacteria located within the mouth is so virulent that if you were to be bitten by a human death might be one of the many side effects as their saliva is so contaminated even their own species avoid being bitten by each other. Furthermore humans have a codependent relationship wit h bacteria in their digestive tracts that help to digest their food. This means that all waste products produced by humans, including spit, is a level one biohazard leaving you at risk of illness if coming in contact with humans.
2. Humans can and will eat anything. Due to the deadly nature of their planet, humans have evolved to eat many diverse things staring off with fruits and planets, later moving onto bugs, but after the introduction of fire, the human diet expanded, and today includes almost anything including toxic plants and animals. Humans will actively eat poisonous plants because it adds to the flavor. Furthermore, humans regularly eat large game animals tied up and roasted dismembered or put into a stew. The exotic meat market is a lucrative industry on the human homeworld . Their hunger is insatiable and never ending. It is not far off to assume that Tesraki meat lies well within human dietary restrictions.
3. Humans are always aggressive. Unless you are actively working with a human, never approach one as they will always respond with quick and effective violence.
4. The human jaw is capable of biting your limbs clean off, and they have been known to eat the inner contents of bone as a delicacy.
5. Due to their social nature, humans have easily adapted to understanding our facial expressions and voice inflections, meaning that there is no fooling a human if you have interest in harming them. They will know what you are planning, but you will have no idea what they are thinking.
6. The human tongue is powerful enough to suck your eyes right out of your skull like a vacuum.
7. Humans have claws at the end of each fingertip and toe tip that never stop growing. These claws are easily capable of ripping your eyes straight out of your head and dissembling you on the spot. Humans actively find ways to shorten the length of their claws so they do not grow to long and begin to grow backwards into their own skin.
8. Most humans are incapable of feeling remorse.
9. Humans are almost impossible to kill without military grade weaponry. If a human ship comes to take over your colony, you will have no chance against them, and you will have no chance of escape.
10.
1a- Humans breed rapidly, and only grow more dangerous at each stage of their development. While the small infant humans are relatively weak and easily overcome, they constitute an immobile biohazard and can weaponize sound to incapacitate anyone who might wish to harm it. Furthermore the screaming siren wale of one of their offspring is often used to summon larger pack members who can deal with a threat more adequately. (Be vary wary as humans do not leave their offspring unsupervised very often.
2a- When a human finally gains the ability to walk they keep their status as a biohazard and weaponized sound maker, though it is now mobile. Arguably as far as biohazard goes this is the most dangerous form of human as it is beginning to develop a mind of it's own, and will actively work to spread contamination.
3a Any human above this age remains within the last and third category. They have built in bio weapons, claws, virulent bacteria on their skin and inside their mouth, but at this point they can also rip your limbs off. Humans are natures perfect killing machine, and they are more than willing to kill.
11. Humans are also relatively intelligent, probably not as much as your average Tesraki, but they were intelligent enough to create politics and speak with the Rundi. Additionally to this, humans have also created economics. On occasion, you might have a business dealing with a human. If this is the case it is important to remember that all humans cheat and lie and backstab to get their way. If you are doing business with a human, they are probably lying to you.
12. There are generally no easy ways to deal with humans. They can swim, run jump and climb, and their favorite method of killing is by way of persistence hunting, so there is no outrunning them. Humans are known to survive, gunshot wounds, dismemberment, lightning strikes, drowning, impalement, and stabbing. Humans are impossible to kill and difficult to injure.
13. As part of number 12 it is important to note that when a human is startled or in severe shock, the brain can turn off their ability to feel pain. All of the injuries listed above can be easily ignored while a human continues on. Even fatal wounds aren't going to take down a human immediately.
14. Humans can smell fear.
15. Human hearing is so good they can hear your heartbeat in your chest and track you using that sound.
16. Humans have an insatiable lust for blood.
17. Humans can climb almost any vertical surface, nowhere you go will be safe from humans.
18. A pack of humans can strip the meat from a kill in under five minutes and eat it all in one sitting. The human stomach can expand to almost ten times its natural size giving them plenty of room for eating their prey.
19. Humans always hunt in packs.
20. Humans are deceptive, it might seem that a human is more or less friendly than portrayed in this pamphlet, but they are crafty and will easily try to make you're their friend before killing you lighting your corpse on fire and then eating what remains.
21. Humans have no sense of morality or mercy.
22. Humans can run faster than most overland vehicles.
23. Humans can dig, so make sure the floor of your house is stone otherwise the human might dig its way inside in order to find you
24. Humans can swim which means you are not safe on islands or in water.
25. Humans cannot fly, but they have access to machines that can, so you are not safe in the air either.
26. Human machinery is powered by explosions.
27. Human manufacturing companies revolve primarily around the creation of weapons that can kill you faster. They can kill you from close up and they can kill you from far away. They can kill you using poison or they can kill you using explosions or they can kill you with their bare hands. There is nowhere that you will be safe from humans.
28. Do not accept a gift from a human as this means they will likely return for your first born.
29. Do not invite a human into your home.
30. Humans are more aggressive during a full lunar cycle
31. Humans must consume up to thirty percent their body weight in food every day. This means if you are with a human.... And there is no food. And they haven't eaten all day....
32. humans can hypnotize you with their gaze alone, and have been known to paralyze their victims before eating them.
33. Humans have been known to eat each other.
34. Humans can see in the dark, so there is nowhere to hide from a human, even at night.
35. The little hairs on a humans arm are used to detect vibrations and pressure changes in the air so they can track their victims even when it is completely silent. These receptors stand on end when they are getting ready to hunt.
36. Humans grow horns, but shave them regularly to appear less threatening.
37. Humans can breathe acid.
38. Humans can eat through metal.
39. Humans horde treasure, and will steal everything you have and keep it for themselves, so it is best to hide all of your valuables around a human.
40. Human song is beautiful and enticing, and their voices have been known to paralyze and even hypnotize unsuspecting prey. Humans will then lure them in and devour them using their voices.
There are many more things that we could say about humans but these are the main points. It is best to avoid humans all together.
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Conclusion: As you can see the document contains some facts paired with blatant falsehoods. Or facts twisted to sound more serious than they actually are. Humans cannot in fact breathe acid, but stomach acid can come up on rare occasions which may be misconstrued as being weaponized. Humans do not have horns. But humans can indeed survive gunshots and stab wounds and their brains DO turn off pain when they are in dire situations. Either way this pamphlet, while outlandish, is concerning.
We will keep our eyes out for more anti human sentiment.