From that moment, we started to hang out a few times
Turning up the music and dancing together
Was the most exciting part of our hangouts
For the first time, I actually felt alive
- Dear Diary : 2016.07.29, Ateez
When Hongjoong woke up the next morning, he looked over to his side and saw his foot was almost in Yeosang's face. Embarrassed he pulled it back and stood up, careful to not wake anyone. He looked over to Rory and Yunho, who were sleeping peacefully on the couch. Something seemed familiar, but Hongjoong shook it of, softly pulling a blanket over them. But then he couldn't help taking a picture of the both cuddling together, almost drooling on each other.
With a smile Hongjoong stretched and greeted Ms. Choi in the kitchen, who was preparing breakfast. "Good morning."
"Oh, Hongjoong!", Ms. Choi said happily and ruffled his already messy hair. "You prefer coffee, right?"
Hongjoong nodded, amazed the woman remembered such small details about him. Once again he couldn't help but respect her, something not many people earned from Hongjoong. Even before the accident he liked visiting Jongho the most out of his friends, mostly because of him of course, but partly because Ms. Choi made it feel like a second home.
Ms. Choi leaned closer to him, a worried look on her face as she inspected the eyepatch. Then she sighed and put her hands on his shoulders. "Are you being treated well? Your parents are at home right?"
Once again, Hongjoong nodded and put on a fake smile, knowing his parents were at home, not caring a bit about him. When he had come back to a house he once called home, they had already thrown out his things as if he never existed. Hurt, Hongjoong had gone to Seonghwa, the only one who knew about his situation at home, who helped him a lot.
Still, Ms. Choi had a worried look on her face, knowing exactly something was wrong thanks to her grandmother senses, but didn't say anything. Instead, she took a look outside and gave Hongjoong a mug of coffee. "Seonghwa's outside. You should talk to him."
Confused Hongjoong took a sip and went outside and immediately spotted Seonghwa sitting on a bench in front of the already burned out campfire. He sat down next to him, not saying a word. So both friends were sitting on the bench, watching the sunrise and enjoying the peace.
Then Seonghwa put away his cup of coffee and stared at the bracelet around his wrist. "I miss her. All of them."
"Me too.", Hongjoong whispered.
"I really loved having a sleepover with the others, but it feels weird to be happy, knowing they don't have the chance to again."
Hongjoong looked at his friend, not sure how to cheer him up. Usually he'd help him with everything he could, but there was no way to bring back the dead. Now, even Hongjoong had no idea what to do.
"But you can't feel guilty everytime you feel happy, Hwa. It would destroy you."
"I know but I just can't help it. It- it just doesn't feel right. What would I do to see them smile again? To see them talk about the play again? To see them getting nervous at the premiere? This will never happen again."
"Then remember it the best you can.", Hongjoong said. Then something came into his mind. "We are still the theatre club, right?"
"Kind of, but I'm not in the mood to act anything. On top of that there's only nine people left. What could we play then? It wouldn't feel right to replace them."
"I know, but we don't have to."
"How?", Seonghwa scoffed. He couldn't believe Hongjoong moved on from this so fast when he couldn't. But the look in his best friends eyes made him stop.
"Let's not make up a play. Let's play ourselves. Let's act out our memories with them, backstage, on stage, at the practices."
"How should we do that? No one can play them."
"I know. But we can use videos or pictures."
Seonghwa still wasn't really convinced, despite wanting to do such a play. Then he thought of something else. "Are you sure our school would allow that? They act like the theatre club doesn't exist anymore."
At this Hongjoong looked back and he thought of the friends sleeping in the living room. They were a team. "When we work together, anything is possible."
Seonghwa cringed. "You're cheesy."
"I know. On top of that we have Yeonjun and no sane teacher would argue with him. They lose the moment they open their mouth."
"So we have a plan?"
"No. When did any of our plans ever work?"
"Never. So what else is it if not a plan?", Seonghwa asked, already feeling better a lot. Hongjoong held out his pinky to him and Seonghwa took it, confused. Hongjoong smiled.
"A promise."
"Why the hell are we going to school today?", Wooyoung complained as the group followed Hongjoong and Seonghwa. "it's Saturday!"
"Oh, calm down, Woo. It's not that bad. Maybe they have a surprise.", Mingi said and patted Wooyoung's shoulder, who scoffed.
"I hope so. Otherwise they woke me up for nothing! I didn't even get to eat break-"
"Oh shut up.", Seonghwa said and pushed a bit of bread into Wooyoung's mouth. Then they reached the front door and stopped.
"What a fantastic plan.", Yeosang mumbled. "First you wake us up, then you make us walk all the way to school and then you don't have a key?"
"No, we don't.", Hongjoong said. "But we have a Yeonjun."
Yeonjun walked to the front, still in his pyjamas, and smiled at the group. "Do you really think I, as the 'troublemaker' of school-" He was saying that with sarcasm. "-don't have a way of getting in anytime I want?"
"If my grandmother finds out about this-". Jongho gulped. "-I am dead and this time I'm not joking."
"Relax.", Rory said and nudged Yeonjun's side. "He managed to steal Mr. Brunner's car."
"That was a teacher's car?", Yunho asked in shock, to which the other's nodded. After a few seconds Yeonjun let them in and carefully closed the door afterwards.
Together the group followed Seonghwa and Hongjoong and after they passed a few hallways, they knew where they were going. Confused and a bit scared they looked at each other but didn't say anything. Then they stopped in front of a familiar room. Everyone held their breath when Hongjoong opened it and motioned them to come inside.
Rory looked around and smiled sadly. This had been the room school gave them to practice and build the stage. It seemed emptier now that half of it had been thrown away but Rory noticed important things were still there.
Her eyes wandered to the long table they had often sat at and the worn out couch in the corner. Hours they had spend in this room, planning everything out. Hongjoong had even slept here a few times, since he wanted to finish the outfits.
"My sewing machine!", Hongjoong yelled happily and went to the machine at the end of the corner. Then his smile fell. "It's broken."
Jongho had immediately went to the shelf, hoping it would still be there. When his fingers touched the familiar metal, he smiled brightly. "My lucky earring. It's still here."
Yeonjun, Changbin and Haknyeon had left the group alone so they could think of these times alone and were now wandering around in the school building. None of the others noticed this though, since their minds were remembering the things that happened in this small room.
"Has anyone seen my apron?", Wooyoung asked after looking everywhere. All of the members of the theatre club had left their signs or drawings on it and it was the only thing he would have left. "I can't find it."
"Changbin has it.", Rory explained and Wooyoung immediately calmed down, relieved.
"So why are we here?", Mingi asked and sat down on the couch. The other's followed his example and watched Hongjoong and Seonghwa curiously.
Hongjoong started. "We are the only one's left of the theatre club. And we came to the conclusion it would feel weird to just move on and start another play, accepting other students to play. Of course there will be a time where we have to do that, maybe some of you don't even want to continue acting."
"Hongjoong had the idea of not directly playing something but portraying ourselves on stage. We'd talk about our memories with the other's and play videos of them in the background."
"We thought it'd be a good way to remember them and get the theatre club come together, once again before- I don't know- getting disbanded."
It went silent after that as everyone thought about it. Then Jongho looked from Hongjoong to Seonghwa and back. "It's your last play before graduating, right?"
"It's difficult since we've been away for four months, but I would rather drop out than having to repeat a year. So, yes.", Hongjoong answered and Seonghwa nodded.
"Luckily my grades have been good enough, and my parents already talked with the principal. It's gonna be our last time."
"Then let's do it.", Wooyoung said and stood up. "To be honest, I do not play a big role in the theatre club-"
"You do, Woo.", San cut him off.
"Maybe, but I'm just your cook and what I wanted to say is that if I can't cook for my friends anymore than I don't want to."
Mingi stood up as well. "Same for me. Being in charge of light and the tech is only fun when I get to do it with you guys."
"I'm gonna be honest.", Jongho added, avoiding everyone's look. "I wanted to leave the Theatre Club anyway, because it's not the same anymore. But I'd be honoured to play one last time for and with the people I love most."
"Then it's set.", Hongjoong said and looked around. "Does anyone want to add something?"
"I'd like to.", Rory whispered and stood up as well, nervously playing with her fingers. "When I first went to school again after the accident, I entered this room, hoping it would help since it always felt like a second home. But after sitting on the couch I realized it wasn't the room itself making me feel at home. It was the people being here, my friends. And all of you. I never thought the theatre club would come together one last time, but I'm happy we do now."
Yunho put a hand onto Rory's shoulder, noticing her teary eyes. "Then it's set. Let's play one last time, before we quit. For them."
Everyone nodded, the room silent, before San spoke up. "So is this the end of the Theatre Club?"
"It's the end of the one we know. What happens after, I don't know. Whether other's want to continue or it's completely gone, will be decided by school I guess.", Hongjoong answered. Then Wooyoung put an arm around him and smiled.
"What a pity. I really hoped we could play Pirates of the Caribbean. You'd make a great Sparrow with your eyepatch."
The group laughed at that and even Hongjoong had troubles hiding his smile. God, how much he'd miss this when he'd graduate. These people had been the only reason to go to school for him, to go through all the pain so he could spend time with them. "I can still shoot you, if you want me to be Jack Sparrow so much."
"Nah, I'm good. Thanks."
"Let's take a break, shall we?", Hongjoong asked, to which the whole group nodded in relief. They had been working on the play for hours now, collecting ideas and planning out the stage itself.
Rory was just coming back from the bathroom when she spotted someone in front of the wall with the pictures. She stood next to him and Seonghwa quickly wiped away his tears.
"It's not a sin to cry, Seonghwa."
"I know, but I don't want people to see how broken I am."
"Don't break yourself just because people expect you to work-"
"No one expects me to work perfectly.", Seonghwa cut her off and sighed. "I do."
"Why?"
"Because then I'm too busy pretending I'm fine, instead of thinking about her all the time."
Rory followed his gaze to the picture of him and Danbi. She had to resist telling him about their real last meeting, because it would only break him even more. Instead Rory put a hand onto Seonghwa's shoulder.
"It's hard, I know.", she said slowly. "But it's bearable. It hurts, a lot and it feels like there's no light in life anymore. Through time you'll realize it doesn't change anything if you're happy or sad. The only thing you can do for them is, live your life the best you can. Because they can't. At least that's what made me not give up completely."
"Did you want to? Give up?"
"All the time."
"Then how did you not?", Seonghwa asked and looked over to Rory for the first time. Rory on the other hand looked away, not sure how to tell Seonghwa it had been him and the boys.
"You'll see there are people who are worth living for, worth fighting for. People who love you so much you forget how hating yourself feels like."
Rory smiled sadly at Seonghwa, who visibly had trouble following her. He watched as Rory went back into the room and then his gaze wandered back to the picture of Danbi and himself.