sorry for the delay! it's a long one to make up for it :)
pls pls comment throughout bc i need the attention rn
also important(ish) a/n at the end
~***~
All thanks to Esteban Gutierrez, I didn't even get a chance to even sit in my Formula One car on Friday, let alone drive it. As predicted, the accident in FP1 required extensive repairs and they were only just being finished as the final checkered flag for the day was being shown. I spent a lot of the afternoon with the little fan Max had bought me just sitting on the pit wall. My headset was connected to Stof's radio so I could hear everything that was going on for him and use it to my advantage. It was hot, and a part of me was glad that I wasn't stuck in a stuffy cockpit. To kill time before I was needed, I moved to the ART pit wall to support my former F2 team during their qualifying run. I missed the simpler days of F2 where I didn't have all of these external pressures against me.
The day's debrief was relatively short compared to what I've experienced before; there was only one set of data since my car wasn't running. I was really feeling the effects from the heat during this time and spent the majority of the session with my head resting against my engineer's shoulder. Luckily Riki didn't mind. There wasn't much I could contribute to the driver's debrief, either, so spent most of the session leaning against my teammate and half-listening to what everyone had to say.
I was incredibly grateful for Marcus. My normal chemist that is linked with my GP surgery closed at five in the evening. My schedule meant that I would be finishing just after that, and so he was kind enough to take my prescription and collect it for me. The charge was less than ten pound for a few months worth, so I didn't feel too bad when he refused to accept my repayment. Instead, I offered to cook the only dinner I knew how for dinner.
Max wasn't mad that I decided to spend the night with Marcus instead of him and his family. I didn't feel ready to face Vic when I was already feeling so downhearted. It wouldn't be fair on her if I were to snap and say something I didn't really mean. My texts were just about enough to reassure her during my evening cuddles with Murray (it was so much easier talking without seeing her or her growing baby belly), however I wouldn't be able to avoid her at the lunch she insisted on before qualifying. Max reassured me that he would be at the lunch with me, and that the topic of conversation shouldn't drift towards Vic's pregnancy. She was aware I knew because Max told her so, but also respected that it's a difficult topic for me right now.
I barely slept that night. The heat made every position incredibly uncomfortable and my mind was overthinking every possible scenario for lunch with Victoria tomorrow. I knew that I should be worrying about the qualifying results with such little practice, but that wasn't at the forefront of my mind. This isn't how I should be feeling and it'll get better with the medication. I could only hope that, when I do eventually fall asleep, I'll wake up feeling better.
From five o'clock Saturday morning, at the first glimmer of sun for the day, until just before I needed to leave for the circuit, I spent my time huddled over the toilet bowl of my ensuite. Any time I tried to nudge something towards my lips, the smell would bring a wave of nausea that needed to be emptied from my stomach. Tears were rolling down my cheeks because I hated being sick, and also because I was frustrated that I'm now at even more of a disadvantage. Sick drivers don't do as well - it's a fact.
When I felt the relief of a break, I curled up on the cool tiled floor, not giving two-shits about hygiene. The door slowly creaked open, hitting the back of my head with a soft 'thump', causing me to roll over in annoyance to glare at whoever it was. Marcus crouched down beside me with urgency, caressing the spot where the door connected with my head.
"Shit, I'm so sorry!" he apologised, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. "Are you okay?"
"Just dandy," I mumbled, rolling back over so that my cheek was pressed against the cool floor. "Can you please turn the shower on? I need to go in before we leave."
"We're supposed to be leaving in five minutes," Marcus said. He soothingly rubbed my arm with one hand whilst he fumbled with the faucets at the end of my bath/shower. Luckily he could reach it from where he was sitting, and soon enough the water was rushing out of the shower head.
"Make it twenty," I told him.
"Are you okay to even get in your car today? There's no shame in sitting out a race weekend if-"
"I'm just going to pretend you didn't suggest that," I interrupted, letting out a soft exhale through my nose. After taking a deep breath, I used the little strength I had left to push myself into an upright position, steadying myself against the edge of the bath. Marcus maintained a hand against my side, steadying me whenever I started to sway. "Heat and nerves don't mix well."
Marcus sighed. "Alright, but I'm sending a text to Lizzie to let her know."
"Fine."
Marcus left the room to give the the privacy I needed to shower, however he remained outside the ajar door just in case I needed him. Max may be my Fiancé, but Marcus is the best man in my life. He always has my best interests at mind and goes out of his way to make sure I'm okay. It isn't completely one-sided; I'm just usually more sick than he is. Every free moment I had I spent by his side as he recovered from his crash. It's what best friends do for each other.
Luckily, I felt a whole lot better after my shower. The nauseous feeling was faded to an occasional uncomfortable feeling in my stomach, and my dizziness only persisted when I stood up too fast, which I knew not to do. I was also able to keep down a slice of toast before finishing getting ready. The twenty minutes I told Marcus it would take me to get ready was stretched to forty, however I did need the extra time to look presentable. I opted to wear my standard Mercedes polo shirt tucked into a skort. The less fabric covering my body in this heat, the better.
I may be running late, but I wasn't running as late as Damien. He was so far behind that we had to leave without him, something I was reluctant to do because of his key role with my job. If I miss any media duties or get into any trouble because of him, I won't be afraid to fire a friend.
The main routes to the circuit were usually busy at this time of day with fans trying to make their way to the track. Marcus was the one driving so that I didn't run the risk of feeling sick from looking at the road. The country lanes we drove down were pretty narrow for two lanes, and were blind corner after blind corner. He really needed to maintain his focus.
"So," Marcus said, pursing his lips as he tapped a finger against the steering wheel, "I think now is as good a time as any to tell you that I gave Max a call."
I had been resting my head against my arm, which was leaning against the window, but lifted it to turn and look at him. I furrowed my brow. "Okay... why?"
"I thought he better know you were sick since you're going to be doing that 'in sickness and in health' thing relatively soon," he replied. Marcus briefly looked away from the road during a straight-ish part to look at me. I was holding my lips together as I figured out the best way to react that didn't make me seem like a complete bitch. I know Max and I are getting married soon, but he also doesn't need to know every single time I'm under the weather. Even more so the past couple of months, he gets stressed when I'm not well, and I don't want him to be distracted today. From the perspective of a driver, his distraction would be good, but right now, in this moment, I'm just his Fiancée and competition isn't on my mind.
"I could've done that," I said slowly, "and you didn't need to."
"Yeah, you could've, but you wouldn't've."
I rolled my eyes. "I don't tell him what he doesn't need to know, and now I'm sure that if I were to check my phone, I'd have multiple notifications from him." Just to prove my point, I tapped on my phone screen. Three of the missed calls and six of the messages were from Max, by far the most from anyone else.
Marcus opened his mouth and then closed it again when I pointed the screen in his direction. "At least you've got a guy who cares."
"But he's also a guy who keeps secrets."
"So did you for, like, the first part of your relationship, little miss A," he pointed out. "He thought you were cheating on him then, too, when you weren't, and he's not cheating on you now."
"There are also more bad things than cheating, M. I don't like being lied to," I said with a sigh as I typed out a short reply of reassurance to Max.
"Eh," Marcus tilted his head from side to side and scrunched his face, "is it really lying, though? I mean, he's just not telling you something but at least he's honest about the fact he's not telling you something. Most people I've been with were liars so I know what that's like. Anyway, this is exactly the argument you had when you were keeping 'A' from him, let's focus on that."
"You're so annoying sometimes, you know that, right?" I huffed, folding my arms across my chest, however keeping my head leaning against the door. "That was a completely different scenario and it nearly tore us apart - it did tear us apart, but luckily he came to his senses and forgave me. I have said countless times that I'd do it all differently if I ever had a do-over. I thought we established that any decision made by me in the moment probably isn't the best approach?"
Marcus chuckled softly, his eyes flicking towards me. "That's true, but you really shouldn't-"
"Look out!" I hastily interrupted, eyes landing on something small and orange trotting across the road. I knew that by the time Marcus had turned to look back at the road, he didn't have enough time to brake to miss it, so instead his instincts kicked in. My entire body moved with the car as he swerved to the right. The car wasn't designed to make such sharp turns at speed and so the entire back-end stepped out of control. My eyes were wide and my heart was hammering as Marcus tried to correct his steering, but it was too late. With a crunch and scrape, the front left of the car plowed into the hedge that lines the road, coming to an immediate halt.
I blinked a few times in shock, not really sure what happened, before turning to look at Marcus. His face was scrunched up and I felt my stomach drop when he groaned in pain.
"Fuck. M, are you okay?" I frantically asked, unbuckling my seat belt. After his accident in MotoGP last year, any sort of impact could flare up those injuries.
Marcus tilted his head from side to side and rolled his shoulders back. "Yeah, I think I'm okay. I'm surprised the airbags didn't go off. Are y-" he finally looked and me, but his eyes widened, "-shit! Lys, your head is bleeding."
"What?" I reached a tentative hand up to the left side of my temple and hissed in pain when my fingers brushed against my hairline. When I brought my shaky hand back down to eye level, I noticed how the tips of my fingers were coated with a thin layer of shiny, crimson blood. "I guess I hit it."
I reached into the glovebox to pull out some napkins I knew Damien used to keep stored there for trips to the McDonalds drive-thru. With a clenched jaw, I brought one of them to my head to attempt to clear up to blood. The shirt I was wearing was white; blood is a nightmare to get out of white clothing when you barely know how to work the washing machine.
"You don't feel dizzy at all, do you? Or sick? And you're not seeing double or anything? Do you have a headache? I-"
"I'm fine," I interrupted in reassurance. "I don't feel any worse than when I left the house. Besides, it's me who should be worrying about you!"
"You could have a concussion," he pointed out.
I shook my head. "I don't."
"How do you-"
"What did we almost hit, anyway?" I asked, wanting to draw attention away from my potential concussion. If I were to have a concussion, I wouldn't be able to take part in today's sessions, and if I don't take part in today's sessions, I can't take part in the race, and if I don't take part in the race, I can basically say goodbye to the gap of my championship lead and I'll be disappointing so many fans. I do not have a concussion.
Marcus looked in the wing mirror. "Uh, I don't know."
"Does the car still drive?"
With a hesitant expression, he turned the key in the ignition. The engine grumbled to life, a positive first indicator, before he put it in reverse. I let out a sigh of relief when the car slowly started to roll back and my window was no-longer obscured by green leaves pushing against it. My first instinct was to turn on the car's hazards, although other cars should be able to see us - it's bright sunshine, a straight part of the road, and we're a pretty big car.
"You go and inspect the damage," I told him, trying (and failing) to look over the bonnet of the car. "I'm going to see if we managed to avoid whatever it was that ran out in the road."
"If it's still alive, I'll kill it myself," Marcus stuck out his bottom lip, "no-one hurts my poor baby." If he hadn't been caressing the steering wheel, I would've been overwhelmed with the sweet sentiment, but no - he cares a lot about his car. I don't cost him any money if I need repairs, however the car will.
The passenger door needed a few nudges to open so I knew there was more than likely some damage to it near the front. That's Marcus's problem. I turned my attention to the grassy line that separated the road from the hedge. About ten metres behind where the car came to a stop, I spotted a brown box nestled up near the hedge line. I tried to ignore the sound of cars as they passed by on the road, wanting to keep my focus away from anything that could cause me stress.
Everything became clear when I could see inside the box. The little orange flash that I had seen, the reason for the crash, was a kitten - and they weren't alone. There were two other kittens, eyes wide and alert, curled up in the brown box. The kitten that I presumed to be the one to run into the road was completely orange in colour with a mischievous glint in their yellow eyes. The second of the three was mostly white, however had a patch on their back in the same colour as the orange tabby. The third kitten was tan in colour all over and looked incredibly grumpy - kind of like how I imagine Toto Wolff would look at me when I arrive in late. The only items in the box with the three small kittens were a yellow blanket, three sachets of chewed-through kitten food, and a nearly-empty bowl of water.
I felt an overwhelming urge to take responsibility for the three small kittens and protect them with my life. They should not be on the side of the road, even more so when it's this hot out. From the little knowledge I had about cats, I guessed them to be fully weaned. Without a second thought, I scooped up the box in my arms and began a steady jog back to the safety of the car.
"Did you find the little shit that caused me to crash?" Marcus asked when he heard me open the door to the car. He was still crouched down in front of the car "At least the car seems okay, but I'm going to need new glass on my headlight, and some dents pulled out."
"I am now a mother," I declared to him.
"Huh?" his confusion was evident in his tone as he spoke. I saw his head pop over the top of the bonnet, but he must not've seen what I had placed on the seat as he walked back around to the driver's side and climbed in. I met him with a small smile on my face as I reached a hand into the box, letting the kittens smell my hand. They all seemed friendly and completely unfazed by my presence, or the fact that I've just cat-napped them. "What the fuck are those?"
"Kittens!"
"Alyssa, no. We're not taking them with us."
"Aw, come on!" I begged, jutting out my bottom lip. "They'll die if we leave them in this heat, or they could get hit by a car, or they could cause someone to have an accident much worse than ours. Don't be such a grinch, M, or I'll revoke your paddock pass and make an indirect tweet about you."
I think his annoyance towards the sweet little kittens in the box was because of the state of his car. It can't be that bad if he's still driving. I'm the one who was injured here, not him, so if anything it should be my say and not his. "Fine, but they're not coming home with us at the end of the day. You need to find homes for them."
"Maybe I'll just stay with Max," I grumbled as I climbed into the car. I lifted the box so that it was on my lap in order to give me the best control over the kittens. The one that had been running in the road was the most interested in jumping out of the box. "He'd let me keep them."
"I don't think he'd want any extra responsibilities, especially right now."
I rolled my eyes at Marcus. "I'm his Fiancée, as you just so love to remind me, and he loves me so he has to love the things that I love, and I love these kittens. They are ranking higher than you on the list of things I love right now."
"You just met them!" he exclaimed, shifting up the gears to pick up speed so that we could continue on our way to the circuit. There was only about fifteen minutes left of the journey if we didn't encounter any more interruptions like the fluffy ones in the box.
"I'm really not seeing your point." Marcus let out a sigh as he shook his head, although there was a smile playing at his lips. I knew he wouldn't be able to stay mad when the kittens and I are undeniably cute. "I'm going to name the orange one Papaya," I told Marcus, although I doubt he was really listening to me anymore. "The paler one can be called Toto for now because they look at me the exact same way, and then the white one..." I paused for thought, pursing my lips as I looked at the smallest kitten of all. They had a patch of orange that was kind of spherical, however it was pinched on opposite ends. "They can be Lemon," I declared. "They look like a lemon, to be honest."
"They look like kittens, you dipshit."
"You know what I mean."
"No more talking for the rest of the trip," Marcus announced, raising his left hand to silence my protests. "I want some peace and quiet before I have to explain to your boss why we're late." He could stop me from talking, however he had no control over the kittens. They must've sensed exactly what would've annoyed Marcus the most and there delicate and high-pitched meows filled the car. By the time we got to the circuit, my cheeks were hurting from how hard I was trying not to laugh.
Walking through the paddock with a box of kittens earned a lot of attention for obvious reasons. Marcus looked grumpy as he carried the box for me because I had to carry my bags for the day. I had the cut on my forehead neatly covered with my hair so that no rumours could start about how I'm unfit to drive. No-one needs to know about the accident because it simply didn't have any impact on me. I don't have a concussion and the sickness I had been feeling during the morning had almost completely faded. It would just cause unnecessary stress to my team if they start worrying about me; I don't want that. Hopefully the presence of kittens would be a good enough distraction from the fact that I'm nearly an hour late than the time I was supposed to arrive. I still had an hour before I needed to be in the car, anyway.
As expected, I was greeted by a frowning Toto, Lizzie standing close behind. His lips were drawn into a tight line and he held back from saying the first words, obviously waiting for an explanation. I bit my lips together with my teeth to suppress a smile as I scooped kitten Toto up from the box, thrusting the adorable bundle in the direction of human Toto. His soft fur tickled my fingers and I was grateful that he didn't try to squirm from my grasp. "Toto, meet Toto."
Human Toto stared kitten Toto in the eyes for a solid few seconds, un-breaking. I don't think I've ever seen a man try to stare down something as small as a kitten until this moment. He looked back up at me and then tried to crack me with his stare, but I wasn't going to yield. "All is forgiven," he eventually muttered. Lizzie clearly didn't agree with his decision as I handed kitten Toto over for a cuddle; she cleared her throat and glared at our boss. "I-uh, I mean, we will discuss your tardiness later today. I suppose this," he scratched behind kitten Toto's ear, "is your excuse?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry. They were just on the side of the road and I couldn't leave them," I exclaimed, picking Lemon up from the box so that I could have a cuddle of my own. Papaya was entertained enough by Marcus as he tried to keep them contained. "Let me get changed and then I'll get straight to work. I know I've got lots to do so-"
"We were in an accident and Alyssa hit her head," Marcus interrupted. The small smile that had started to form on Toto's lips faded back into a frown, and Lizzie looked like steam was about to erupt from her ears. My bottom lip dropped in surprise - why was he telling them? "It was nothing major but she was also sick this morning and I think it'll be safest if she doesn't take part in today's sessions."
"Alyssa?" Lizzie raised a warning eyebrow, practically daring me to tell her it's true. I mean, she knew I wasn't feeling well this morning because Marcus insisted on letting her know, but there was no need for her to know about the accident.
"Dude!" I furrowed my brow, glaring at Marcus. "Look," I turned back to Toto and Lizzie with a pleading expression, "I'm completely fine - I feel completely fine. I'm fit to race. We all know I can't afford to miss out today because if I don't take part, I won't be allowed to race. Do you really want to sacrifice my spot on the team, an almost guaranteed decent haul of points for Gutierrez? I needn't remind you how he crashed the car within a one-hour session and ruined my entire day. Please don't let Marcus ruin today as well."
Toto's jaw clenched and he let out a heavy exhale through his nose. "I'll look after the kittens whilst you get cleared at the medical centre. I don't care what you have to do - you need to race. "
"Copy that." I'll take it. I was feeling well so it was pretty much guaranteed that I would be fit to race, however I was still annoyed at Marcus for throwing me under the bus. He knows how much pressure I have on my shoulders already but doesn't seem to give it much care. "I'm going to bring Lemon with me for emotional support and as a possible bribe. If Max comes looking for me at all, which he probably will because of someone's," I glared at Marcus, "fat gob, don't tell him about the accident and reassure him I'm feeling better. Apparently my texts aren't enough."
"Marcus can stay here and help me with the cats, Lizzie you can make sure my driver doesn't do anything else to compromise the weekend." Lizzie nodded her head as Marcus exclaimed in protest at Toto's words, but the boss-man wasn't having any of it. "Your confession might've just put my best driver out for the weekend so you will sit in my office with me and the kittens."
"The orange one is Papaya," I told him, not wanting Marcus to lie and give the kitten a stupid name. "He's the reason we crashed so be mad at him and Marcus, not me."
"Alyssa, just go," Marcus instructed, letting out a huff.
I pulled my lips into a line, not liking the anger in Marcus's tone. I don't know why he's mad at me when I'm not the one causing the problems. Why he hates the kittens so much, I can't even hazard a guess."Yeah, I was pushing my luck with that one. Come on, Liz, let's get myself cleared."
***
Surprise, surprise -I was cleared to race. If anything, I was more annoyed at Marcus for wasting my time than anything else. He really needs to start trusting my judgement; I know my body better than anyone else and I know it's limits. Having a little kitten with me certainly helped calm my nerves. I may have been confident that I didn't have a concussion, however I didn't know how much the heat was still impacting my body as the temperature only continued to climb.
Damien finally showed up with five minutes to spare before the start of my practice session. He was lucky I was needing to focus on myself or else he'd have received a bollocking from me. The only reason he has his job is because of me and it's becoming increasingly more tempting to give the position to someone who wouldn't slack off. I even missed some media commitments because of his tardiness and lack of communication. This is strike one - three and he's out. Separating personal and professional relationships is very important and, as a driver already under a lot of scrutiny because of my gender, I won't let him bring my professional reputation down in order to 'be nice'.
The hours that I had clocked in the sim meant that I wasn't completely lost when it came to practice, however I only managed a time good enough for fourth, three tenths off the pace. Stoffel was in P2, with Charles in P3. I had yet to get a chance to talk to Max today, but I was able to pat his shoulder in congratulations for topping the session. We were both being pulled in opposite directions and so that was the only exchange we could manage. Is it bad that I spent more time with a kitten I found on the side of the road than my own Fiancé? Nah, probably not.
I attended the few media duties scheduled for after the practice session, speaking as little to D as I could. It's like people were on a mission to piss me off today. On a very slight plus side, all of the drama with the crash, arguments, and becoming a mother was a distraction from the looming lunch with Vic.
Toto had been keeping a great eye on Papaya and kitten Toto to the point where I really think he won't let me part with them when I leave the circuit later in the afternoon. I'm sure I saw him trying to convince Susie of letting them keep the small bundle, but I don't want to assume. Kitten Toto was the apple of human Toto's eyes and he even gave the small kitten a tour of the garage when the noise had died down, which left grumpy Marcus with Papaya. The little orange lump is growing on him, I'm certain. It's Lemon and I that are the best team of them all, though - it'll be a whole lot easier to convince Max to let us have one cat than it would to have three.
Despite my driver's room for the weekend being double the size of my standard room at most other circuits, I agreed to meet Vic for lunch in one of the meeting rooms connected to the Mercedes building. Not only is it airconditioned (a huge relief from the thirty degree heat), but the space had tables, chairs, and enough space for Lemon to play without running the risk of them going missing. She offered to bring food from the Red Bull cafeteria, which I was quick to accept because they had one of the best catering teams in the paddock. It would just be Sof joining us, with Max and Tom scheduled to spend time with Max's dad instead.
My heart was thumping a little harder against my chest as I waited. I could hardly keep my foot still and so the quiet room was filled with rhythmic, metallic tapping. There was a radio softly playing music but I couldn't pay attention to it.
The sound of the door handle clicking brought me out of my daze and my eyes snapped in that direction. I sat up a little straighter in my chair as my muscles tensed. With a wide smile on her face, Victoria walked into the room, closely followed by Sof and... Max? I tried not to let my eyes linger on Vic's small baby bump and instead turned to Max; he shouldn't be here. He, unlike Vic and Sof, didn't look happy in the slightest. It clicked almost immediately from his expression of concern that someone (my guess being Marcus) told him about the little car accident I had on the way to work.
Before I could even offer a greeting, Max had gently nudged past his mum and sister and reached for my head. I scrunched my nose in annoyance as he surveyed my face for injury, my cheeks squishing together with his hands. "I've been cleared to race - you don't need to worry. It was just a small bump to the head."
"I'm allowed to worry about you."
I looked up into his eyes and smiled in reassurance. "I know, but I am okay. Look!" I pulled my head away from his hands so that I could look at the floor. Lemon was trying to eat one of the legs of the table when I picked them up and presented them to Max. "This is Lemon."
Max raised an eyebrow. "Lemon?"
"Lemon." I nodded my head in confirmation. "They can be our practice baby until we have time to have our own."
Victoria let out a small squeal, pushing her brother out of the way much like he had done to her just a few moments ago so that she could see Lemon. Her face was bright with a smile as she smoothed Lemon's soft fur around their face. "Aren't you the sweetest little thing! Did you just find her?"
"Yeah, on the side of the road. Toto has their two siblings right now so I've got Lemon."
"She does look like a Lemon."
"Exactly!" I exclaimed, grateful that Vic understood my viewpoint. We have always been on the same page. "So," I turned to my Fiancé with puppy eyes, "can we keep the kitten?"
"I-" Max started to say before letting out a sigh, "I just don't know if we should take on any additional responsibilities right now. With everything going on... I don't know, schatje. Can we really take this on right now?"
"Well, you can't with that attitude," Sof interjected, giving her son a motherly look. "It's the least you can do with everything else you're putting the poor girl through."
"Mum," Max warned, shaking his head, "I'm telling her after the race."
Sof had a stern expression and folded her arms tightly across her chest. I had never seen her look mad - ever. From the way Victoria was biting her lips tightly together and trying to avoid eye contact with her brother, Max was in trouble with his mum. "Je gaat haar hart breken."
"No," he firmly replied, shaking his head.
"Hey," I gently touched Max's arm, "I thought you were supposed to be spending lunch with you father? The last time I checked, this was a girls' lunch. Just let us have some time together to catch up and you can get told off later. If they're going to be my family, I need to spend plenty of time with them." I didn't like how Sof reacted and it certainly made me more uncomfortable to find out Max's secret. She thinks that whatever it is will hurt me, a contrast to what I've been told by others.
"Yeah, dickhead, leave," Victoria said in agreement. "I can't believe you left Tom alone with Pa. You know how he can get so you better hurry your ass up and get back to him."
Max looked like he wanted to protest, however he took a look at everyone's face and obviously thought better; no-one was on his side here. I tried to keep my expression kind despite the doubt that lingered in the pit of my stomach. Max isn't going to tell me his secret, but I don't think it would be fair to try and get it out of his mum. I guess Vic knows whatever Max's secret is, too, or else she would surely be interrogating her mother.
I forced a smile to my face, bringing Lemon closer to my chest. "Good luck in quali, but not too much; pole position's mine."
"Yeah, okay," Max sarcastically responded, leaning down to press a kiss to my lips. It was hard not to laugh when Vic made a gagging noise at the action. "Good luck, yourself, and I hope you ladies have fun."
"We will as soon as you're gone," Vic gently pushed his shoulders until he was out of the door. Max tried to say his goodbyes to his mother but she refused to look in his direction, her arms firmly folded across her chest and a scowl that could rival Toto's.
Once the door closed behind him, I took it upon myself to initiate the hugs. I may still feel a horrible emotion towards Vic's pregnancy but I did really miss her company over the past couple of months, as did I miss Sophie's warm hugs. The Verstappen girls were as much my family now as my own and I wouldn't ever want to lose them. Even if Max's secret is so bad that I refuse to ever speak to him again, I know that I'll always be welcomed by these two. A family like this doesn't come by very often and I'm going to do my best to keep them in my life regardless of anything else that is happening.
Sof had the bag of food so she was the one to lay it out on the table. Whilst we ate, I made sure Lemon had some food in their bowl so that they wouldn't try and eat what we had. I was grateful for Toto sending out what he likes to call his 'minions' to retrieve some cat food from a local supermarket, and even more so that he gave me some. Max will come around to having a cat soon enough - he won't be able to resist Lemon's charm for much longer. I can't believe I'm worrying more about him with the cat than Murray, but in his defence, Murray's previous owners raised him around cats and he has never had a problem with them when we've visited friends with cats. I don't know what responsibilities he could possibly have other than fighting for the championship, which I guess is harder when you're not leading like I am.
One thing out of the many that I missed about lunches with Vic and Sof was the gossip. I love a juicy bit of gossip. I didn't care that I didn't know half the people they were talking about, but I was invested. Apparently there are some cheating rumours, an unplanned pregnancy, two divorces, and too many arguments to count - all within their family alone. When the gossip turned to paddock gossip, it was highly amusing to hear rumours about myself that they had picked up on. Vic's energy can be pure chaos when she wants it to be and so it didn't come as a surprise when she revealed she had spurred on some of the more ridiculous rumours with 'evidence'. She wouldn't dare do it to rumours that might actually hurt me and so this was all harmless fun. Apparently, the video I made with Mercedes last weekend was 'proof' that I was in a romantic relationship with Marcus, and the 'promise ring' on my finger was from him. My stomach hurt with how much I was laughing. At least if people think I'm with Marcus, the other driver dating rumours might stop, or they might get worse and become cheating rumours but I'm trying to be positive now.
I couldn't believe that I was so hesitant for this lunch. It felt like we hadn't spent nearly enough time together when I was called for qualifying preparation ahead of the session. I departed from Sof and Vic with a group hug and feeling significantly better than before. If only that positive emotion could've stayed with me for qualifying.
Making it through Q1 and Q2 was a breeze and I was able to set my fastest time in the second session on the medium compound of tyre. This means I'll be starting the race on that tyre, something the team were hoping to do with the degradation rate. It was looking like a two stop, but starting on the mediums gives us a shot at a one-stop for tomorrow if things go to plan.
I sat in the cockpit of my car waiting to go out and set my final lap time. The lap time I had previously set was only good enough for third so I was aiming to find a few tenths as the track rubbered in. The top four drivers, Max, Charles, me, and Stof, were separated by just two tenths.
T> 'Watch for the okay, careful on your way out. You'll be the first to set a time but the others won't be long after.'
A> 'Copy, copy.'
T> 'Be wary of the tailwind into Stowe. Don't let it catch you out this time.'
A> 'I won't.'
I wasn't waiting for long before I was being beckoned out of the box. The car screeched on the paint of the garage as I left, picking up speed until I hit the pit limit. In my mirrors, I saw that there were a couple of cars just making their way back into the pits from their previous run so I was optimistic that I'll have the track to myself without interruption. The sun was beating against my race suit and I knew it was going to be just as bright as it had been all day.
My warmup lap wasn't as slow as it might be at other circuits. It didn't take as much to warm my tyres into their optimum window so my focus was on braking slightly harder to generate heat into my brakes. The team revealed that there was three minutes left on the clock; I expected more people to come out with two minutes to go to get the most out of the track. I have faith that Mercedes can extract maximum performance from the track the way it is.
I rounded the final corner in such a way that my car was facing straight down the straight much sooner in order to pick up as much speed as possible. I made a few adjustments to my steering wheel as I crossed to start my final flying lap. The bumpiness of the track could be felt all the way through my body with how low the cats are to the floor. I had picked my braking zone ages ago and so knew exactly when and where to position my car to brake, and it wasn't until turn three where I actually needed to brake. With my car on the left side of the track, I turned in, my front right wheel barely touching the red inside curb, before accelerating out of the corner. The next corner was shortly after in the opposite direction so I wasn't on the throttle for very long. My focus was on keeping my shifts quick and lines tight in order to extract the maximum from this lap.
I rounded Aintree with my foot to the floor before climbing further up the gears on the straight, keeping my car positioned to the right for the corner ahead. Going full throttle was something magical around a circuit like this - there's so much history here and I have the honour of calling it my home Grand Prix. Just before I entered the braking zone for turn 6, my steering wheel flashed up with a green sector. I wasn't too down-heartened that it wasn't purple because my first attempt around here was more than enough to match those ahead.
The left hander turned into a right as I swapped sides of the track. Around Luffield, I maintained a tight and clean line to the inside curb, only ever drifting slightly off so that I could carry more speed around the peak of the corner. My wheels came close to the gravel on the outside of the exit of the corner, an indicator of how much I was pushing my car, however I wouldn't lose any time because of it.
It was full throttle as I hugged the inside barrier at the start of the straight to take the shortest line to the end. If all goes well, I shouldn't need to brake until Becketts. I have to have a lot of trust in my car and my tyres that they're going to provide me with the grip I need to make such corners at such high speeds.
Okay, Alyssa, clean lines through M&B. My eyes were fixed on the curbs ahead so that I could place my car perfectly every time. There was a small correction that I needed to make to my steering as I rounded onto the Hangar Straight, however it would've cost me a few hundredths at most. The rest of that segment should be clean enough to give me a good enough sector time. Shortly after, it was confirmed that I had gone purple in the middle sector with a small flash on my steering wheel. I knew I was up on my previous lap by a few tenths minimum already and I needed to make sure that I only improved.
I made a few adjustments to my steering wheel along the long straight to help me through the final sector. There were track limits for the outside of Stowe where the team had told me there was a tailwind. I could certainly feel it pushing me along the straight and would probably knock a little bit from my time. Hopefully the winds will change by the time the other cars get around to this part of the circuit. In my head I was just hoping and praying that I didn't lock up a tyre and ruin the entire lap. I left it for as long as I possibly could before putting my foot down on the left peddle, the car slowing into the corner. A few muscles in my face that I had been tending relaxed when there was no puff of smoke, no worry or risk of running wide. Now I just have to nail the final three corners and it'll be the time to beat.
I refused to be greedy on the outside curb, allowing my car plenty of space from the track limits before picking up some speed until the final sequence. The distance between my right tyres and the grass on the left side of the circuit as I approached my braking point probably made some of the mechanics and engineers watching me back at the pits tense up. Similarly as I turned in, I didn't know exactly how much distance there was between me and the red curb, however I knew for a fact it wasn't much.
To finish the lap, I made the final right movement of my steering wheel, ensuring my car was on the tightest line possible. It felt like a miracle when I didn't have any oversteer or corrections to be made, making for the most beautiful line to the final straight I had possibly ever completed in my career. Not to brag, or anything.
I knew I was quick, and when I crossed the line, I knew I was very quick. Although it wasn't a purple final sector, I still clawed an additional two tenths from that part of the track than I had on my previous go. A 1:24.299 was half a second above the rest of the field. Now I have to sit and wait to see if anyone can beat me.
I didn't want to accept the team's congratulations until the final car crossed the line at the checkered flag, however I wasted no time in congratulating them for getting the car back to its best condition after yesterday's crash. They work harder than anyone else and deserve all the appreciation I can possibly give them. The pats on the shoulders were really encouraging as I exited my car. I decided to head to where Riki and Kieron were sitting to watch the rest of the session unfold.
It just so happened that my closest rival for the championship, aka my Fiancé, was the final car to cross the line. No-one had been able to get within a tenth of my lap time, making for a tense end to the session. My bottom lip was tugged firmly between my teeth as the cameras showed Max setting a green sector time in the middle sector to go with his purple first. He was basically matching the lap time I had set as he powered through the final sector. It was going to be close.
The Fiancée side of me was being greatly suppressed by the racing driver side of me and I was willing for the racing Gods to give him a little bit of oversteer or something so that I can be handed pole. Unfortunately, Max doesn't make many mistakes on track any more. It was a clean final sector; it's all coming down to the line...
***
Qualifying Result Great Britain:
P1 ???, P2 ???, P3 LEC, P4 VAN, P5 SAI, P6 GAS, P7 VET, P8 NOR, P9 OCO, P10 RIC, P11 ALB, P12 HUL, P13 KVY, P14 STR, P15 SCH, P16 RUS, P17 GRO, P18 MAG, P19 LAT, P20 RAI.
~***~
*not edited*
hopefully the fact that it's a long chapter will distract you from the fact that it's badly written and very late. thought i'd give you a cheeky little bit of suspense at the end of this chapter - who is going to get pole? let's just hope this doesn't put any strain on the (kinda) happy couple.
any more predictions to max's secret? is it good, or bad? it'll be revealed soon - don't worry... or maybe you should.
as always, please let me know your thoughts! your comments and votes really do help out. maybe just say hi if you're normally a ghost reader. pls just let me shower you with love.
announcement from profile:
WRITERS WANTED!
This announcement is unrelated to wattpad or fan fiction.
I have a project that I've mentioned takes up a lot of my weekend time - spoilers, it's a blog. If you're in my discord server (link in bio) I'm sure you've heard me blabber on about it before. I run it with two very good friends of mine and I am in need of people to help write articles. These articles will mainly focus on the support series, but will also include some F1 topics. There is opportunity for flexibility - if you have something you want to write about, you're more than likely going to be able to write it. We have a lot of exciting things planned and potential for collaborations. It's something you could even put on a CV, and would look especially good if you're thinking of a future in sports journalism (although isn't limited to that).
This will in no way linked to wattpad so you don't have to worry about people finding your account (although i swear i will hunt anyone who mentions OFFTH3MARK down bc this is embarrassing lmao). You can even write under a pen name if that's something you'll feel comfortable with. Language and writing ability doesn't matter - editing can be done to make sure everything is up to a quality we want.
Roles we need:
- Writers
- Editors
Please, please, please get in touch if you want to get involved! I will be greatly appreciative. We pride ourselves on being all-female because we don't get enough of a voice in a male-dominated sport like formula 1. This is your chance to make your voice heard! Even just engaging with the blog would be incredibly helpful for us as we're just starting out.
- The After Lights Out Team
qotc: how're ya doin?
aotc: i have exams so naturally i want to cry most times of the day. at least max is still leading the championship after baku... i don't even know how to process that race. the seb and pierre podium, the lewis mistake, the pirelli faults... won't lie, i'm used to valtteri's shitty performance by this point isn't a shock. please refrain from telling me about his bad luck bc i acknowledge that but i simply do not care teasing him gives me serotonin.