Are the raindrops in my tears
Small apologies you gave me? No
I'll have to get out of here and go back to my dreams
So tell me where I go to the other side
- Ateez, Take me home
"I feel like a fucking fool.", Rory whisper-yelled to Wooyoung, who tried to hold back a laugh. She was wearing one of his shirts which was too big and a pair of sweatpants. Rory had to admit, it was comfortable and she couldn't wait to start training. Now that she had eaten something, she felt more powerful and was eager to finally be able to throw the whip the right way.
But Wooyoung had other plans.
"Come on!" he yelled loud enough for everyone in the wall to hear. Of course Yunho turned around and as soon as he spotted Rory, he started smiling like an idiot not caring about Seonghwa who was snapping next to his ear. He already wanted to yell something to her, but Wooyoung already pulled her to the other side. Rory flashed a smile into Yunho's direction, hoping he wouldn't get angry at her.
"Here, take it.", Wooyoung said and gave Rory a sword, who seemed distracted. "Don't daydream about him, okay?"
"To be exact, I'm already dreaming about him. And on top of that, I'm not sure if I know how to even hold a sword."
"Don't worry about that. Consider this as training.", he said, suddenly getting serious again as if he remembered what they were here for.
"But don't cry if I hit you."
"Let's see who's the last one standing."
For about half an hour they were trying to make each other fall, occasionally making jokes about each other, when Wooyoung disarmed Rory. Exhausted the both of them kneeled down, laughing.
"I almost hit your nose, did you see?"
"Well, I almost knocked you over once."
"That was an accident. You lost balance, idiot."
"Uhm, guys?", a voice asked and Rory immediately knew just by the reaction of her body who it was. Yunho was standing there, his arms crossed and looked at them from above. His hair was full of sweat and his face red. "Woo? Seoho needs you, I think. Wants to explain something about the slingshot, I guess."
Both immediately knew Yunho was lying. He was a terrible liar. Still Wooyoung stood up, giving Rory a 'I-knew-it' look and patted Yunho's shoulder. "Don't want to keep Seoho waiting."
As soon as Wooyoung left, Yunho sighed. Rory raised an eyebrow in worry. "Are you okay?"
Yunho nodded, not really convincing. His eyes fell onto the sword Wooyoung had dropped. "Are you up for a fight?"
"Sure.", Rory answered immediately, despite feeling awful. She could see how Yunho was trying to avoid her eyes, trying to advert the attention from him. It made her feel guilty and all she wanted was to explain it to him. But then he already charged at her and Rory had only a second to dodge.
"Yunho-"
"I don't think people talk while fighting."
"So I can't tell you, you're looking fucking awesome in that sweaty look?", Rory said, hoping to get a reaction. Indeed, Yunho missed the next swing and she couldn't tell if his ears were red from training or in embarrassment. Yunho scoffed.
"You're cheating."
"Well, I'm smaller and weaker than you so sorry if I'm trying to beat you somehow."
"Well-", Yunho said, mocking her tone. "If you would've trained with me you'd know how I fight."
Rory raised an eyebrow. Wooyoung's plan had worked. "Yunho-"
His sword clashed against hers and Rory stumbled back not able to hold against his strength. Her back hit the wall and Yunho put his sword at her neck. His breathing made Rory's skin tingle and she hated herself for being so weak around him. Yunho on the other hand didn't think of letting her go, subconsciously pushing the wooden sword harder against Rory's neck.
"I know you don't want me to get jealous.", he said lowly, almost in a growl. It was the first time Rory had seen him angry like that, and she could tell he wasn't angry at her. He was angry at himself.
"Yunho-"
"No. You don't know how it feels to see someone you- you love being with someone else, not even glancing at me. It feels like my heart is bursting into pieces and I can't do anything against it. I know I promised you to not get jealous, but it's not easy."
"For god's sake, let me speak.", Rory said not breaking eye contact. The guilt of hurting him like that made her body shiver. It was her fault. "You know I don't feel-"
"Guys?", a voice interrupted them, making Yunho let go of Rory. It was Mingi who had just come by to get some help of Yunho. Then his eyes fell onto Rory's neck. It was red. "What happened to you?"
Rory immediately tried to hide the bruise but it was too late. Yunho had already seen it. His eyes widened in shock and started watering. With shaking hands he let go of the sword, letting it fall to the ground and turned away not able to look at what he had done. Before Rory could stop him, he ran away faster than anyone.
Shocked both Rory and Mingi looked after him. Mingi now realized what must've happened and couldn't help but feel guilty. Trying to sound convincing, he put a hand on Rory's shoulder. "Let me talk to him. Come by later, okay?"
With a nod Rory told him she had understood, still too shocked to say something. Mingi gave her a reassuring smile. "He will be okay. The both of you will be okay."
Mingi left to go after his friend, not sure where he went. Confused and worried he looked around and ran into Lia, knocking her down accidently.
"I'm so sorry!", he yelled instantly but Lia only smiled.
"It's the second time today. Your friend ran around like a maniac."
"You've seen him?", Mingi asked desperate making Lia frown in worry. "Where is he?"
"He went to the bal-", Lia answered but Mingi didn't even let her finish and ran off into the next hallway and almost knocked over a lamp. Lia couldn't help but smile at his clumsiness. "It was nice meeting you too."
Mingi had other problems than breaking a lamp. When he reached the balcony, he immediately spotted his best friend. Yunho sat at the edge staring into the sea and held his head in his hands. Even from the distance, Mingi could see he was shaking.
Not saying a single word, he sat down next to him. After a while Mingi could hear sniffling and knew he had to comfort his friend. Softly he put a hand on Yunho's back making him look at Mingi. A small, beautiful ring was in Yunho's hands.
"I-I hurt her.", he said and wiped away the tears but even more were rolling down. "I hurt the person I truly love and messed up because of my jealousy. She deserves better."
Mingi had to hold back to not slap his friend. "Are you kidding me? Yes, you messed up big. But this is not a fight between you and Rory. It's a fight between you and jealousy. You and Rory have to work together to overcome this, not against each other."
Yunho let out a chuckle but his voice cracked. "Since when did you become so smart?"
"I always have been.", Mingi said happy to see his friend smiling again. "I'm serious, Yunho. Rory would never leave you for another guy, god it's so frustrating to see you together."
"Why?", Yunho asked, worried his best friend might dislike his choice of love. Mingi rolled his eyes.
"Because you're not together yet! Even a blind man can see you are head over heels for each other. Hell, even Yeosang noticed it."
Yunho smiled a bit at his friend's outburst. But then something came into his mind. The bruise he had left on Rory's neck. Disgusted he stared at his own hands, wondering if he could ever get this picture out of his head.
"I hurt her. I fucking hurt her and didn't even notice it because I was the one who was blind."
"I know it's serious, man. But not even this bruise could make Rory's love for you disappear. Trust me."
"Why are you so sure?", Yunho scoffed and wondered why Mingi was even talking to him. If he could hurt Rory, someone he loved dearly, he didn't want to know what he could do to his best friend.
"A person who hates someone, wouldn't try to fix this someone."
With this Mingi stood up and walked past Rory who had stood there for almost a minute. Mingi gave her a thumbs up and Rory sat down next to Yunho. He looked away, trying not to show her his tears but Rory had seen them anyway. Raising her hand to wipe them away, she got closer but Yunho backed away.
"I'm sorry.", he said quietly, not trusting his voice. The silence between them after these words became heavy even though both of them wanted to speak up but none had an idea how.
"It's just a bruise. It will heal.", Rory said. Then she showed him the scars on her arms. "See? It may take time, but eventually, it will heal."
"That doesn't change the fact that I hurt you."
Rory shook her head. "It doesn't. But it doesn't change what I feel for you either."
"Why? You should hate me!", Yunho said loudly and finally turned to Rory, his eyes full of tears. His whole body was shaking.
"Just because you hate yourself for this, doesn't mean I do.", Rory whispered, now tearing up as well. It wasn't about a stupid prank anymore or about a simple bruise. it was about their relationship, their love and just seeing Yunho like this, broke her heart in pieces.
"I don't think this can work.", Yunho said slowly after a while and didn't dare to look at Rory's eyes, knowing he had just hurt her even more.
"What?", she asked. "We didn't even try yet, did we?"
"No, but I don't think we should."
"Just because you think of yourself like you're the worst, doesn't mean I do! Goddamn it, Yunho" I've experienced worse bruises. If I can be fixed, so can you, so can our- our love."
"I'm sorry, Ro. It's for your own safety."
"God, I don't care about my safety! All I care about is you!"
"Please understand, Ro.", Yunho said and looked up, his eyes cold as ice. The sudden change made Rory step back, almost choking on her own tears. "You can't expect two broken people to fix each other."
"We're not broken. Just a bit twisted. You can't tell me you didn't feel anything when we kissed?"
Yunho flinched, almost breaking his cold mask. But then he shook his head. "I did. But not enough." Not able to look at Rory again, Yunho turned away and put something on the floor. Then he disappeared, leaving her behind.
Rory broke down and fell onto her knees, the energy leaving her body. It suddenly felt cold and like she couldn't breathe. The world was spinning, or was it just her head? Rory wanted to put her hands on the floor to stabilize herself from falling but felt something cold. Confused she looked at it.
A ring. A silver, small ring with a feather of an eagle.
Rory instantly knew who had put it there and even though she knew she shouldn't she took it, telling herself it was the last thing she had from him. This was his way of asking for forgiveness and Rory could feel she had already forgiven him. But still, he had given up.
When Rory woke up on the couch the next morning, her back aching, the ring in her hands, she almost burst out into tears again. She didn't know what to do or how to react the next time she'd go there or if she wouldn't. Turning the ring in her hands, Rory felt empty.
Just like she had felt before all of this started, even worse.
Rory knew where she had to go.