✍🏽Hey guys so I haven't been updating and I'm sorry,I just can't get an idea to stick soo I'll use my old Sasunaru story for Komahina I have so many chapters so I can't wait to use them✍🏽
Author's note 'A characters inner thoughts'
When the character is remembering the excat words someone else said to them before
(Small commentary from me or the character)
When a character emphasises a point
*Action*
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Hajime POV
I couldn't sleep I just stared at the night sky, everything was perfect tonight, even the stars looked brighter tonight.Nagito spent the night with me at our spot, our bodies lay intwined together naked in the moonlight.
Normally I'd be jumping for joy I'm the one with Nagito not Kamukura ,I won his attention but the real question for how long?
I'm not stupid I know Nagito is using me for my body but it's ok because he'll fall in love with me eventually atleast that's what I keep telling myself, why do I keep doing this to myself? This isn't healthy its toxic but I'm in too deep to stop now.
I guess Nagito could tell I was wide awake because his body shifted alittle,holding me closer to him with a smile on his face.
I smiled back, maybe Nagito has finally come back to his senses.He snuggled his head closer to my ear ,his lips parting ,I held my breath. This is it Nagito is finally going to confess his feelings for me.
" I love you so much.." Nagito whispered
I smiled tears of joy rolled down cheeks before I could respond Nagito's voice interrupted.
"Izuru" Nagito mumbled with a huge blush on his face.
And in an instant I broke.
Everything in me just broke.
Have you ever been broken before? Have you ever felt like your going to die from the pain your body was going through? Trust me when I say that shit hits you,it hurts like hell and all you can do is watch your body break more.
My heart stopped.
My soul was slowly slipping away.
My brain stopped thinking.
I couldn't utter a single word.
Hell I could barely breathe at that moment.
These only so much a person in love can take until they eventual break. I stared at Nagito's peaceful body in disbelief then I did the only rational thing I could and ran off.
■■■■■■
I don't even know where excatly I was going all I knew was that I needed to be away from him .it took me a while to finally stop.
My knees buckled as my body finally gave out,I shut my eyes.
*splash*
I felt cold and wet but I didn't care I
just lay in the water with a smile on my face.
"I'm tired" I whispered.
I don't know if I mean physically or emotional but all I know is I am tired.
I sat up and finally looked at my surroundings.I was in the middle of a lake it wasn't too deep since,I haven't drowned in it so I think it's safe. I stared at my reflection in the water.
I felt disgusted at what I saw,there I was still naked crying over someone who will never love me back.
"I'm so lonely" I mumbled wrapping my arms around my shaking body trying to comfort myself.
I shut my eyes once more letting the tears roll down my face. I deserve to feel like shit,even if it's just for a moment I'll let myself drown in my emotions.
I felt the sun's rays on my face.Soon it will be morning so I'll have to put up a show for the whole world as usual.
I stared at my reflection and gave my best smiled a habit I've grown fond of, its fine I'll just keep breaking down inside where no one can judge me.
"Its for Nagito so its worth it,atleast he'll be happy " I whispered my motto with pride to no one in particular.
I tend to give people a fake smile but over the years I believe I've perfected it.
Just as I was about to walk back to Nagito I felt a rain drop on my nose,1 drop turned to 2 until finally the whole place was pouring and yet I didn't move.
I don't know how long I've been sitting in the ice cold water but my body refused to move after a few minutes I sensed a presence behind me,my smile grew even bigger.
"Nagito it isn't polite to stare" I beamed walking out of the water and walked closer to his shadow.
Sure enough Nagito stepped out of the darkness holding my clothing close to his chest.He was fully dressed, lust fulfilled his eyes as they travelled up and down my naked body.Normally I would jump into his arms and offer my body to him but today I wasn't up for it.
I gently took my clothes from Nagito's hands,avoiding any eye contact.Our fingers lightly brushed against each other, in an instant I moved further away from him.I had to resist him. Nagito seemed not to notice my hostile behaviour either that or he just didn't care.
"I wasn't staring at you" Nagito smirked with pride wrapping his arms around my now fully dressed body"I was just observing what is mine"
I turned my face away from him slowly removing myself from his arms,my emotions were getting out of hand and if this continues I won't be able to pretend much longer,my mask is slipping faster than I thought.
How can he call me his yet he called out another man's name in his sleep? To be completely honest this wasn't the first time it has happened. He usually calls out Izuru's name a bunch of times,during sex ,when we cuddle,phone calls even on our texts but I guess my ears were finally tired of hearing it.
I walked towards the lake and continued to gaze at my reflection, my face was soaking wet and you want to know what's funny? I can't tell if its wet from the rain or from my now endless flow tears.
End of P.V.O
No ones P.O.V
■■■■
Hajime finally managed to stop crying he still didn't face Nagito, he flinched when he felt Nagito's hands trying to pull him closer, the albino noticed this and took a step back from his lover .
To say Nagito was confused was an understatement, he thought Hajime would be happy to spend the night with him,so you can imagine the shock on his face to wake up without his sexy lover in his arms.
Luck was on his side because Hajime's foot prints created a path Nagito was happy to follow, he didn't show it but he was worried for his childhood sweetheart,after all Hajime is precious to him, he was his first everything from kisses, to sex ,you name it they've done it.
Why couldn't he just be with Hajime you may ask? Simple he wasn't inlove with him,to be fair Nagito has never been in love before except hope and yes before you ask that includes his current boyfriend Izuru Kamukura.
He loved the attention he was getting from Hajime but he couldn't bring himself to actually date him because deep down he knew it would never work out ,confusing? Ofcourse but that's just the way Nagito liked it,he thought Hajime preferred it this way too but I guess even an ultimate can be wrong too.
"What do you see when you look at me Nagito?" Hajime mumbled looking into Nagito's teal eyes
"What?" Nagito asked staring back at Hajime
"What do your eyes see when you look at me?" Hajime choked he could feel his throat tighten "tell me Koemada what are the first things that pop up in your mind when you think of me?"
"Your beauty ofcourse" Nagito grinned " is that even a question? Hinata-kun you and I both know your sexy as fuck too not to mention your super soft tanned skin"
Nagito's hands caressed Hajime's body to empathise his point,the brunette haired man didn't move,he just stood there waiting for the ultimate luck to stop.
Nagito noticed this and let go of the brunette,he wanted to cry but refused to show weakness infront of his lover.
"Is-s there something wrong-g?" Nagito stuttered "did I give you the wrong answer?"
"I'm more than just my body " Hajime trembled his never shown his emotions to anyone with fear they'd judge him "all you do is touch me and pretend to love me so that you can satisfy your body!"
"Where is this coming from?" Nagito questioned " you sounded more satisfied last night,the hickeys I left on your body are proof enough actually what I left on my body "
"Fuck you" Hajime hissed
"No need sweetheart that's why I have you" Nagito said mockingly "now what's crawled up your butt this morning?,well except my dick Ofcourse"
"You called out Izuru's name in your sleep again" Hajime sobbed into his hands
"Is that what this is about? Such minor issues grow up Hinata-kun " Nagito bellowed he knew he was lying but he didn't care.
"It's not minor to me Nagito can't you see that it's hurting me" Hajime wailed in pain
"Hinata-kun,Izuru is my boyfriend Ofcourse I'll call out his name without knowing" Nagito spat "If it hurts you so much then be my guest and leave no one is stopping you!"
Nagito knew he went to far ,he was hurting Hajime but he was hurt too,why didn't Hajime just talk to him about it instead of running away? He hated being alone he expected Hajime of all people to know that but once again Nagito was proved wrong.
"You promised me that you'll tell Izuru about us" Hajime raged he couldn't even see Nagito his tears blurred his vision.
"You actually took me seriously sweetheart people will say anything during sex" Nagito stated he didn't need to look at the brunette,
he could feel the pain in his voice "even If I was being genuine baby now isn't the right time"
"Have you ever seen a wrong time idiot? I can't believe I let you use me again" Hajime mocked bitterly " you want to know what your problem is Nagito?"
"I don't recall asking you if I have a problem but go ahead" Nagito chuckled
Hajime jabbed his index finger on Nagito's shirt in anger, with every word he said was like a knife to the albino's heart.
"You treat lovers like your toys me and my brother were just objects to you" Hajime spat
Nagito's eyes widened an idea popped into his head, He took off his shirt and pulled Hajime's body closer to him.
The brunette tried to wiggle his way out of his embrace,to make it worse he felt Nagito pull down his pair of black trousers.
"I know what the problem is Hajime your horny aren't you?" Nagito teased
"What the fuck no you sick pervert this is rape!" Hajime yelled as he tried harder to free himself"let go of me!"
"Come here my little slut" Nagito whispered seductively "prepare to be fucked by an ultimate"
Hajime finally broke free and slapped Nagito hard on the cheek. The ultimate luck held his burning cheek in shock,no one had ever touched him,he didn't expect Hajime to do it.
Before Nagito could yell at him his mouth opened wide.
There stood Hajime shaking violently as several tears rolled down his face. Nagito panicked,he tried to calm him down by touching him but each step he took Hajime took two steps back.
This continued until Hajime's body backed up and hit a tree.
Hajime wasn't terrified anymore he stood his ground and looked at Nagito dead in the eye with determination.
"I love you dammit! I am fucking in love with you only you" Hajime bellowed "why don't you get it? I'm even hurting Izuru my twin brother just for you!"
"Don't put the blame on me sweetheart you had your fair share in this affair " Nagito hissed
"Shut up don't you think I know that?" Hajime admitted hanging his in shame
"Good now that we've settled our problems let's have make up sex and forget this conversation ever happened" Nagito chuckled wrapping his arms around the shaking boy.
"Don't you dare touch me I said I am more than my body" Hajime hissed as he punched Nagito straight on the jaw.
"What the fuckery? Hinata-kun shut your bitch ass up and let me satisfy our bodies" Nagito yelled holding his jaw in pain " let me make love to you! You'll feel better afterwards"
"I said don't you dare touch, never ever touch me Nagito Komaeda I hate you , I fucking hate you , I hate you so much" Hajime barked" I hate these roller coaster of emotions I'm feeling because of you"
Hajime continued his voice broke even more as more tears flowed, he didn't care he needed to finally express himself.
,"I hate how your kisses make me feel like I'm floating on air" Hajime wailed shaking violently.
"Babe It's way to early for this crap " Nagito remarked casually.
"I hate how your hugs make me feel like we were the only two people in the world who could ever get it right" Hajime yelled.
"Sweetheart calm down " Nagito chuckled with amusement.
"I hate how I can see my future in your beautiful cold dead eyes" Hajime admitted.
"Honey come on we can cuddle all morning if you want" Nagito promised.
"I hate the way my heart beats faster when your in the room" Hajime said bitterly.
"Love come here you need a hug" Nagito said with his arms open wide for Hajime.
"I hate how addictive your body is to me" Hajime said in shame moving further away from the white haired man.
"Cutie your too beautiful to get mad" Nagito chimed in with a smile
"I hate the pain I feel seeing you with Izuru you were always much happier with him than with me" Hajime cried
"My precious brunette come to daddy let me erase your pain" Nagito said reassuringly
"I fucking hate how much I'm in love with you ,no matter how much I try to move on I can't" Hajime spat
"Shut your bitch ass up now before you make me mad baby" Nagito barked
"I hate how forgiving my love is for you no matter how many times you go to Izuru I always welcomed you back with open arms but do you want to know what I hate the most?" Hajime persisted
"Hinata-kun that's enough please" Nagito pleaded in pain
"I hate how much pain and suffering I've gone through and yet I would do it all over again in a heartbeat just for you and you'll never appreciate it". Hajime wailed in his hands again
When Hajime was done confessing Nagito just stood there in shock ,he knew Hajime was right and it hurt him.
He didn't know he was hurting him so much ,pain was the last thing he wanted to give his Hinata-kun but his too stubborn to admit any of this to him.
"You knew what you were getting yourself into when you feel in love with me" Nagito responded coldly
Silence filled the area both of them couldn't find the right words to say to the other,they both knew their love story would come crushing down,but a question still remains.
What now?
Nagito couldn't take the tension and guilt,he ran off leaving Hajime alone,broken and depressed. Hajime noticed the silence and realisation hit him.
"Nagito come back..I..I-I I'm sorry I didn't mean it come back please come to me" Hajime pleaded on his knees more tears flowed down,his head felt heavy and a sharp pain shot through his chest "I'm an idiot baby please please don't leave me I can't bear to be without you Nagito!"
The rain poured even more drenching Hajime ,he fell to his knees in exhaustion,he could barely control his breathing,his body is having a panic attack.He took out my phone and called the first person he could think of.
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Sonia's POV
I stared at my phone waiting for any notification from Chiaki.
'She can't stand me up right?' I thought
I've been sitting on the park bench in the pouring rain for 3 hours .I looked at myself in my compact mirror.My make up was smudged now because of the rain,my wet hair dripped on my clothes.I forgot my umbrella and a jacket so here I am waiting for my date in the rain.
I shivered trying to look for shelter every building was too far so I just sat under a maple tree. I took the time to finally let my emotions out,my face was puffy and my eyes were red.
I was so excited about this date but I guess it was silly of me to think someone as popular as Chiaki would want me.
As I was about to walk home I heard voices at the forest of death.Curiously I followed the sound of the voices,it was Hajime he looked like he was going through an emotional breakdown.
What surprised me even more was that Hajime wasn't alone,standing with him was none other than my date Chiaki Nanami.
Anger, shock, sadness, pain you name it I felt it ,I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I couldn't move from my spot ,I was still trying to recover from the news of Chiaki leaving me for a boy guess girl code doesn't mean anything to ladies anymore.Thank goodness for the trees because I'm pretty sure they'd both be able see me by now.
End of P.VO
No ones P.O.V
Hajime explained everything to Chiaki surprisingly she was understanding and listened patiently.
After, he was done she used her body to cover him from the rain. they sat in silence as Hajime cried on her shoulder,finally he calmed down and looked at her in the eyes.
"Chiaki am I a horrible person?" Hajime asked bitterly
"What? Ofcourse not your just perfect,really perfect" Chiaki questioned"why the sudden question?"
"it's ok to be honest with me I won't be mad" Hajime smiled "look I know I'm hurting both Izuru and myself, I know I'm being selfish but my body needs love and Izuru doesn't know so it's ok right ?"
"Hajime the fact that he doesn't know doesn't make it better" Chiaki stated
"Do you think it's too late to get forgiveness?" Hajime questioned ignoring Chiaki's answer
"Hajime only your brother can answer that but his an understanding guy so don't worry,your family remembered" Chiaki reassured " if I were Nagito I would never hurt you"
"That's the thing Chiaki I'm scared Izuru won't be as understanding as we think I don't blame him I'm fucking his boyfriend" Hajime admitted with shame "please Ino just please tell me I am not being selfish ,tell me its not to late to be granted forgiveness from him"
"..."
"Tell me I'm a good brother to Izuru,tell me this is all just one horrible nightmare ,I'm not inlove with a someone else's man"
"..."
"I know I'm not the best human being but atleast I'm decent enough right? Just lie to me dammit! please just just.."
".."
"Chiaki comfort me with as much lies as you can I want..no.. I need to feel better " Hajime finished "please
"Hajime I'm sorry" Chiaki whispered
"It's ok Chiaki your too sweet to lie even if it's for my sake thank you" Hajime smiled sadly at his friend
"Anything for you Hajime" Chiaki smiled brightly back
Chiaki moved her face closer to Hajime to go in for a kiss but a movement in the distance startled her.
She cautiously walked to the direction of the sound and picked up a black bow, only one person had a black bow
'Sonia' Chiaki thought.
Realisation hit ino like a ton of bricks, today was her and Sonia's date but not only did she forget about it but she almost kissed Hajime right infront of Sonia.
"What have I done?" Chiaki whispered in shock
She took off running looking for Sonia, after a while of searching her body was getting tired and her eyes hurt from the tears in her eyes but she didn't care she needed to talk to Sonia to apologise.
Chiaki's heart hurt then it hit her,how could she be so stupid? This whole time Chiaki was looking for love from Hajime when the love of her life was already in her life waiting for Chiaki to notice her.
She slowly realised how much Sonia meant to her ,it was all making sense ,all those nights they'd spend playing video games, reading about serial killers, Chiaki Nanami was inlove with Sonia Nevermind and needed to tell her before its to late.
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Sonia's POV
I kept running I didn't mean to ruin there moment honestly I just couldn't take it anymore.it hurt seeing her with him so I had to leave.
I was so spaced out that I didn't see where I was going.I accidentally bumped into someone. Great how embarrassing,I bowed my head to apologise but when I saw Nagito's tear stained face I smirked.
This could be my chance to get revenge for my friend Izuru no one deserves to ge cheated on,so I made sure to give Nagito a piece of my mind and release the anger from seeing Chiaki with Hajime to him.
End of P.V.O
No ones P.O.V
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"How do you sleep at night knowing you have a seat reserved just for you in hell" Sonia mocked "stop acting so tough Nagito the whole world can see your just hurting inside, you hate the fact that your hurting the two most important people in your life"
"That sounds funny coming from you" Nagito hissed "you don't know what your talking about I'm dating Izuru not hurting him or anyone else "
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sonia questioned "I heard Hajime confess everything about your little affair"
"Goodnight Sonia" Nagito said walking away before he could go far he helt Sonia's hand tightly grip his arm "let me go royal reject"
"Not until you answer my question" Sonia demanded
"You want to play question and answer fine then answer this Sonia.Why do you keep letting Ino hurt you?" Nagito mocked with a smirk "you think I don't see the way Chiaki looks at Hajime, its the exact same look you give her isn't it?"
."l- " Sonia choked she didn't expect such a question from Nagito
"What's that? Cat got your tongue blondy" Nagito teased "you were all talk a few minutes ago don't test me unless your ready to get your ass beat unlike other guys I will happily hit a girl"
"Not like its your business but Chiaki and I are friends and classmates that's all" Sonia pointed out,she was actually trying to convince herself not Nagito.
"Keep telling yourself that maybe it won't hurt as much seeing her crying over Hajime over and over and over again" Nagito chuckled
"Shut up she isn't inlove with Hajime" Sonia lied
"Okay then please explain to me why she is with Hajime right now comforting him? Didn't you guys have a big date planned today?" Nagito mocked "I can see the price tag sticking out of that dress,just so that it can be drenched in rain water,you really are useless Sonia nevermind"
"She was busy" Sonia defended her body was too weak to say anymore
"Yeah trying to get fucked by Hajime" Nagito spat "get this through your thick ass empty head, she doesn't love you like it or not she's inlove with Hinata-kun,the easier you get this through your head the easier it is will be to finally let her go"
"I..I " Sonia stuttered
"As for your questions I will answer this Sonia I've been doing this for so long that I'm immune to the pain and regret I feel afterwards Hajime is a pass time not a life time" Nagito answered casually "As for Kamukura maybe it's because everytime I look at those ruby red eyes I don't see the love they once had for me in the beginning, do you want to know what I do see looking in his eyes?"
"What?" Sonia questioned finally finding her voice to respond
"Pity that's all I see when he looks back at me" Nagito said with a bitter smile as he walked away from Sonia in the rain.