Nina
~
I slammed the door behind me allowing room for Mckayla to come in. Her fist were balled up the entire trip over to the home we would share soon, if I or her stopped getting into disagreements everyday. I wanted to grab onto her hand but her entire body language put us at a distance. Now I was infuriated as much as her.
I had a right to feel the way I did about her abilities. She looked so weak and battered after using it and I wondered if she ever used her full power, how bad would her next injuries be. "How do you really expect me to feel? Do you want me to sit by and let you slip away from me? And how could you ever support the idea of Kaylee doing that? She's your fucking daughter. Don't you care for her--"
Mckayla roar woke up every nerve in me as she paced tyrant and ready to strike. And she did, slamming her fist through the front door. A hole; the same size of a football presented itself through the door, sliding her hand out, breathing ferociously. She stared a moment at her hand as I kept my mouth shut.
The thick door stood with a new peepinghole to look through. I crossed the line. Small cuts and oozing blood canvassed Mckayla's hand. I went to grab a towel out of the bathroom, dipping it in water from the sink. When I came back, Mckayla's cuts were healed with only semi-dry blood left as a remembrance of her not too long ago outburst.
I ambled to her cautiously, not afraid of her hurting me but turning away from me. I thought of the first few days of seeing Mckayla and how she would move from my touch. That feeling was so painful and lonely to remember. But thankfully, Mckayla let me reach in taking her hand as I wiped the blood off. I studied her hands not ready to face her. Her hands were rough in varies spots and smooth on other ends. It still had its feminine structure but I could tell her hands had been used in many brute moments in her life. Despite all that, her hands were so comforting and knew how to pleasure me when I always needed her.
When the last traces of blood was removed, I pulled her hand up to my lips, caressing it. "You are a great mom. You came back to this pack blind and have changed so much for the better."
Mckayla sighed. "Don't tell me what you think I want to hear."
I shook my head, "I'm not." Mckayla hesitated and I placed my hand under her jaw, making her face me. "What leader doesn't make mistakes? What parent? And you took on both without preparation. Without knowing you would ever hold Reign or a child in your arms." Mckayla finally began to look me directly in the eyes. "What friend doesn't make mistakes...turning that mistake into a betrayal."
"Nina...none of that matters."
I sighed audibly, constricting my face as tears fell. "But it does." I scooted, leaning my lower extremities into the back end of the couch. "We never really talked."
"Look...don't," Mckayla hissed. "That night was a long time ago. There is no reason to relive it,"
"You never...relive it?" I narrowed my eyes to her with a softened expression. "You've never play that memory in your head?"
Mckayla didn't answer.
I knew I was right. "Please...tell me about that night."
Sighing, Mckayla walked over to me, sitting on the back end, edge of the couch beside me. "My father found out about my attraction to other women...wanted me to change, and I couldn't."
"Mckayla..."
"What do you want me to say? That's what happened."
"Tell me how you felt...what you thought? What you wished for?" I wasn't trying to open up old wounds only trying to heal them; heal us. Deep down, rather she voiced it, the past still taunted her of the possibility of being alone again.
Mckayla ran her fingers through her unkempt hair, grimacing a moment. I saw the pain of her memory beginning to antagonize her thoughts as her breathing changed to a sudden rapid speed. "I was scared. That was the deepest emotion I remember feeling. Not of dying; though my father seemed close to doing that. But...I was scared that you never would feel the same as I did for you. I was scared that you hated me for being gay. That you saw the way I looked at you and was disgusted. I was scared that I would never see you again or this pack." Mckayla frowned, lowering her head. "I couldn't believe how my father turned on me. Hate came later."
Mckayla faced me; expression blank but somehow readable. "I--I'm..." I blew out a gush of air. "I failed you. I did know how you felt. I suspected...and I got scared. I thought your father would talk to you...but not in the way I expected." I grabbed Mckayla's hand and her eyes fell to our fingers linked as I did the same. "Marie told us how they found you."
"That was a long time ago," Mckayla dismissed.
"But you wanted to die. You wouldn't be here now if Marie and Jace hadn't helped you."
"Nina...drop this."
"Why?"
Mckayla snarled. "Because it doesn't matter now."
"Yes it does. Instead of trying to kill yourself...you changed reflecting your anger onto others."
"You don't know anything about what I did." Mckayla's eyes simmered gold, or the choices I made."
"Then tell me."
Mckayla turned her back to me.
I only wanted Mckayla to come out of all her pain happy and ready to really begin a future with me. "How can we be mated to each other..." I walked toward her, my hand steadily falling to her back. I could feel her heart racing through my touch..."if I can't know all of you. The good and the bad?"
Mckayla faced me with heat in her eyes. "Because...the bad is an evil I possess."
Cupping her face, I looked hollow into her eyes. "Whatever wrong you committed...is no longer you. I love you. That won't change."
Mckayla snorted dryly, without amusement in her gesture. "You love a woman who has killed the weakest. Weres like you...to scared to defend themselves and humans. You love a woman like that."
I expected to hear those words. It was always evident of the harm she committed. "No." I brushed my thumb over her eyebrow and cheekbones, giving her the comfort she needed. "I love the woman who faced her demons and has spent her time after that...protecting those who need it." Our eyes locked with no chance of anyone snatching our attention away. "I love that woman. I love you."
I realized I was making the same mistakes again. Not in the same manner. Different circumstances. Mckayla was being her, through her abilities and because I was scared I wanted her to get rid of that portion of her.
There was a certain part of Mckayla I wasn't ready to accept and I was trying to avoid; dismiss. Mckayla's abilities were apart of her and I loved her. "Oh God..." my eyes filled with tears. "I'm making the same mistake." I shook my head, lifting up, standing in front of Mckayla. I closed my eyes trying to focus on what I wanted to say. "I love you. I love who are and what blossoms within you." Mckayla had been through so much; done so much due to the one action I caused.
Mckayla's eyes scrutinized me as I hoped she believed me. "You have to trust me. I might push my own limits to the point where you could declare it reckless...but since you, Kaylee, my sister, and this pack have come into my heart...you will never have to worry about me doing anything that would take me from you. Yes...of course...I will have to stand against challenges that will put my life at risk, but not due to recklessness."
I nodded. "I'm sorry."
Mckayla's expression curved into a small smile as she eased her way into standing, closer to me. "I'm sorry too." She pointed toward the hole in the door. "Bad habit. I'll fix it myself." Mckayla stared off and then back to me. I wish she would say the words back. I love you was words she always seemed to neglect. I could sense an aroma emanating from Mckayla. Her eyes told me her secret desires. One of her eyebrows arched higher than the other, as her gaze told me what she wanted.
Mckayla maneuvered close and was about to brush a kiss over my cheek but the stopping of my hand ended her movement.
Mckayla stared incredulous to my actions.
I hadn't known I would do that myself. "Do you love me?" I couldn't keep going days without her uttering those words to me. She only gave me an ounce of words that expressed her feelings towards me when she was in the heat of the moment. Never at a private intimate moment, like this.
Mckayla frowned and I supposed she was trying to figure out why I was asking her. "Nina...you know how much I care about you."
"Do I?"
"I thought we were passed the arguing?"
I grunted. "This..." I waved my index finger between both of us. "We don't have to argue. I'm tired of it. And I'm not asking you a difficult question. You only make it a difficult choice in not answering."
Mckayla frowned. "I'm not good with--"
"And I'm not good with seeing all your ex flings popping about...but we have two of them staying with us right now...minus Sara."
Mckayla scowled, bitting her lips as she shook her head in dismay. Her arms crossed over her chest. "I knew you were just waiting for the proper moment to bring those two up. I'm not with them. I'm with you." Mckayla snarled as her wolf surfaced. "You push unnecessary buttons for no reason. Stop questioning my love--"
I crashed my lips onto hers, kissing her aggressively as her hands flung outwards in surprise. Our mouths began to melt together as I slid my tongue in further. Mckayla's hands gradually moved down, cupping my face. I pulled Mckayla in closer, tugging her at the hem of her jeans. The soft cushion of her lips made the heat run down between my legs.
My core was already soaked as I thought of the taste of Mckayla. I pulled my lips away, figuring this was the perfect moment to speak. "You love sex?" Mckayla nodded absently as she tried to brush her lips against my neck. I swerved my head backwards, not giving her the chance to press her lips over my neck. Her frown was vivid. "Would you say...it's a necessity to have...in our relationship?"
Mckayla smiled. "Of course. Physical contact; sex to be exact, is extremely important to have. It's something you need in every healthy relationship."
Again Mckayla tried leaning into me. I just smiled. "And words are the same for me and needed in every relationship."
Eyes wide, Mckayla realized the point I was trying to make. "You can't tell me you love me. I know you do, but I need to hear it at times. If you can't tell me what you feel than I can't show you through sex."
Mckayla stared astonished by my end conclusion. She snorted as if she heard incorrectly. "You don't want to have sex?"
"Oh...I do." I gazed at her longingly. My breath caught as my eyes noticed her harden nipples through the thin material of her shirt. My eyes stayed glued there as I spoke. "I do every time I see you...or even think about you. I do right now." I licked my lips heaving my eyes from her breast directly to her eyes. "But...maybe you have to live around me, without sex and see how unbearable it feels to not get what you need out of me. I need to hear you tell me you love me, but I've been neglected by your empty words."
"This is..." Mckayla arched a brow. Realizing she only had one choice she quieted. I knew she wouldn't say the words now so I did not expect them. She would never abuse those words; not for sex. "We should get back."
I nodded in agreement as she yanked the jammed in front door open. I was thankful she didn't fling the door off its hinges.
Mckayla and I headed back to the pack when she blurted out, "Can I still kiss and touch you?"
~~~
Mckayla
~
Nina had seriously given me an ultimatum. Tell her three words or no sex till I did. Who did that? I snarled doing my last set of workout. When we arrived to the pack, I needed to blow off the need that I couldn't get satisfied. Killing or a workout was my only two options. I was still finding the best route to killing my next targets.
I sweated profusely with the sun adding to my sweat glands doing overtime.
"Blowing off steam?"
Rachel walked out with Kaylee hanging over her back.
"Look mom. Aunties giving my a piggyback ride," Kaylee screeched.
I arched a brow. "I'm noticing..."
"Why is it called a piggyback ride?" Kaylee skewed her face trying to figure it out. "Doesn't make sense to ride a pig."
Rachel laughed. "No it doesn't."
I only stared, continuing my workout in front of them.
"Still want to talk?"
Rachel seemed curious to the conversation I wanted to have with her earlier. Before I could respond, involuntarily my wolf let my eyes shift from straight gold to sapphire. There was a problem that one of the wolves I jumped into skin before, was trying to show me.
I could feel my legs give out as my body shuddered before jumping into the skin of the Alpha in the mundane wolf pack. I jumped in right on time to the sight of two rogues fighting. These weren't the simple rogues like I use to be but of a kind where you could no longer shift back human skin. All you thought of, was your next kill. I had become close to that point and I knew how dangerous that could be.
Sal stepped out from the house snarling at the two rogues who seemed to take some notice but still fighting. "That's enough," he roared out. Seems Sal didn't have all the control he claimed. The two rogues continued to fight, raking their claws back and forth and Sal rushed down grabbing both rogues by their collars. "I said enough."
Both rogues stopped their whithering finally obeying Sal's command. Why was I here? The mundane wolves wanted me to see something. My eyes shifted around scrutinizing every layer I could until I finally gave up. There was nothing. Nothing. Wait. I was wrong. I tilted my head as if that angle would give me better sight and it did. There was a floor shed, behind the house. I watched as a rogue climbed out. That was where the rogues stayed.
Why was that important for me to see? Then my thoughts began to collect with new ideas until I found my landmark, snarling to my conclusion of my plans. I moved backwards, twisting in a ninety degree turn as I signaled for the other mundane wolves to leave. Their job had been complete. I felt myself slip out of the wolves flesh as I jumped back into my own skin. I felt the foam cushioning surface of a bed as my pack voices ranted on like an unorganized choir.
I groaned to their loud voices. My senses were always hypersensitive after using my abilities.
Nina's voice was the first clear tone I could hear. "She's waking up."
Gradually, I opened my eyes as the pack hovered over me. That was uncomfortable to wake up to. I blinked a few times, pressing my hand against the side of my head. I had a throbbing headache and my eyes felt a little blurred. When I could focus my eyes, Jace was one of the first Weres to see. He smiled and I knew that was his way of saying he was glad I was alright.
"You just fell out...I wasn't sure--"
I patted my sister on her shoulder. "It's okay. The wolves had something to show me."
"You used your abilities?" Nina asked. I turned, watching her carefully. She wasn't angry or sad like before. It seemed she was only asking a concerned question.
"More like my abilities allowed the wolves to use me." Everyone stood confused. "I know how to end this." I scooted toward the edge of the bed as Nina's hands stopped me from pulling up.
"Give yourself some time."
I huffed. "I'm fine, Nina." Honestly, I still hated being in beds or anything too soft. "We have to all talk. No time for resting. Besides...I'm more hungry than sleepy."
"Then I'll cook you something," Rachel rrecommended.
"Oh...honey. I think--"
"Is my cooking that bad?" Rachel asked her mate.
Everyone answered in unison. "Yes."
Rachel frowned for a long time as a smile crept into her eyes and she began to laugh. "I guess it is."
Sara ran her hand over Rachel's back, mumbling low and seductively. "But...you are very good at other things I would like to do tonight." I watched my sister's breathing pace as others pretended not to hear that guaranteed expectation Sara provided her.
I didn't care as I watched Rachel blush from my intrusive gaze. At least she would be making love tonight, but that was my own fault. Words still scared me. Its what landed me in so many bad situations. Speaking the truth on my feelings of other women had my father force me out of the pack. I thought of Malcolm and how I wanted to punch him again for being one of the main Weres a part of ending my first life with this pack. Thinking of him, in a way, I began to feel sadness for his death and the rest we lost. The pack somehow picked up my emotions all quieting. "My apologies." I gave Nina a look that said I was getting up and she moved finally submitting to my needs. "Let's all focus on how we can end these rogues and their leader. Our lost ones would enjoy that."
They snarled their agreements.
Walking out of the room, I was comforted with words from more of my pack until I found Rogue and Marie talking in the kitchen. I walked in and they both silenced, smiling tightly at me. I arched a brow feeling uncomfortable with their gaze.
"You bounce back well," Marie acknowledged.
"That's why she's Alpha and my mom...duh," Kaylee answered.
I sighed shaking my head as Marie snickered. She pointed at my daughter. "A mini Kayla. Who could believe?"
"Mom...can you tell her to go before I turn and bite her?"
Kaylee eyes looked as if popping out of its socket as I shook my head. "Kaylee..."
"I know," she slid off of the counter, leaping down. "You're about to talk and I got to go."
I smiled for only a moment, until new thoughts formed. I hated her feeling like I always dismissed her. I was. There was always business or problems that sought my attention. "Kaylee..."
She turned walking out. "I'll need your help cooking for the pack tonight...you want another cooking lesson?" I watched my daughter's frown turn to a vibrant smile.
"Yes. Aw thanks mom. Can Rachel help sense she doesn't know how to cook?"
Rachel walked in right on cue. "Hey...I have no problem not being able to cook."
"But I do think its sexy knowing how to cook," Sara teased. "That's partly why I slept with your--"
"No. No. No. I don't want to hear that." Rachel frowned. "I'll learn."
Sara snickered for a short second on her mates discomfort.
Kaylee jumped straight up heading out, shouting, its a cooking lesson day.
Rogue spoke softly. "Your a great mother. Makes me think I could be."
"And you can." Cormic walked up. "I would like the uncle status to increase by two."
I turned smiling to him as I realized he basically declared himself uncle to my daughter.
"You were my sister for over a year. I still feel the same way," he said.
I never knew he thought that fondly for me but that only made me think of how I felt towards him. The same I concluded. I wanted to say that, but expressing it seemed so open and exposing.
Cormic patted my back. "I know." With that, he changed the subject. "So what's your big plan?"
After all the necessary Weres that needed to hear this came in, I began to run over the plan I had. It was a risky idea but the best one I could come up with without worrying of drawing too much bloodshed from my pack again. We already lost enough.
"It could work," Rogue agreed.
"Yes," Jerome sister said. "As wolf, you don't bring on that strong aroma of a Were...let alone an Alpha. Plus...those rogues do carry your blood."
I nodded. Everyone gave their opinions except Nina, I noticed.
I dismissed everyone once the plan was set. By next morning, our problems would be over. I turned to Nina as she lingered. The rest all walked out into other locations. "You don't like my idea."
Nina sighed, leaning her side into the counter. "I will never like any idea where your life is on the line, but it is the right choice."
Her eyes peeked up to mines and was about to drop away but, I pressed the tip of my index finger under her chin, forcing her to look back to me. "I won't leave you." Nina nodded and I watched her eyes fall on my lips. I smiled seductively as more time passed. "You never gave me an answer."
Nina spoke faintly as if her breath kept getting snatched away. "What question...was that?"
"Can I still kiss and touch you?"
Nina's cheeks flushed and I vividly thought of the pink sensitive flesh between her thighs and my own core throbbed. My entire body was like an indoor heating system. Nina nodded and I leaned my lips down, capturing hers. I could almost forget about our problems, kissing her with a madness that stated my deep feelings for her. But that wasn't enough. She wanted me to speak them; to face my feelings for her.
I pressed Nina into the counter, forgetting the pack was within close eyesight of us as I slipped my fingers beneath her shirt finding her breast. Her nipple was already stiff and with need of my mouth.
I pulled Nina around the counter giving ourselves a little privacy but not much. I was Alpha and Nina Prima. I knew they could long ago tell what we were doing. Only a cub would be foolish to enter this kitchen right now; or Cormic.
Nina moaned when I tugged on her nipples, then rubbing gently on them, between my index and thumb. My mouth sought out her neck as my canines protruded scraping against her hot flesh. I moved myself downward as my kisses were now placed at her retracting abdomen. My fingers still over both her breast, one slipped down, tugging at the hem of Nina's pants. I began to pull them down as my mouth edged closer to her center, momentarily resting over her pelvis.
"Ohh...we can't..." Nina was trying to resist her own needs for me.
I grinned, kissing her inner thigh, as her pants now rested at her ankles. "We can...just for you."
I slid her legs apart as I watched her juices slid down her thigh. My breath caught in excitement as I traced my tongue up her thigh, licking up her fluids. Nina gripped the edges of the counter as I felt her knees buckle.
"Mckayla..." she was trying to make a momentary decision. Give into her needs or keep the promise of no sex until I gave her the words she needed to hear. If she said to stop, I would, but this one time, I wanted her to tell me to continue. I wanted to respect what she needed. "Inside me..." she finally moaned.
With this one time permission, I dove nose deep into her, as I let my tongue rummage inside her. My hands gripped around her hips and thighs, as I tasted her fully. Moaning was so loud and audible for the everyone in this house to get a clear message of what was happening.
Nina cried out as her hands clinched to the back of my head, trying to feed me more of her. Her hips rocked and involuntarily jerked when I stroke varies spots with my tongue. "Egh...God. Mckayla..." her breathing picked up as I felt her need swell against my mouth. She was very close.
When I stroked a few more times, Nina cried out her orgasm, quivering like she had been put in a freezer too long. I stroked a few more times until I removed my mouth from her now sated flesh that tighten on me. I pulled up Nina's pants as she slid down to me. Her breathing slowly became back to its normal self as she groaned. "Okay...this was the last time until you give me what I want."
I smiled, nodding.
"I just really needed you before you head off into danger."
I nodded again. "I know."
We sat quiet on the cold floor. "That was..." Nina couldn't even find a word to describe what she felt, nor could I.
With a light kiss on her forehead, Nina curled into me as I whispered softly in her ear as Nina drifted to sleep.. "Something I'll never forget."