6 Days Later
~~
As you take these slow deep breaths and give your body and mind permission to relax and let go. Now begin to feel a white glowing energy opening up through the crown of your head. Imagine this light is flooding every cell in your body, and this energy is pure positive energy, and you're purging any tension or worry your body might be holding on to. Spoke the voice coming from my laptop.
"Yeahh lying ass bitches purge from my body- wait focus. Breathe."
Continue to take deep breaths and imagine a white light emitting from your body.
"What should I eat tonight? Ooo maybe I'll make those dumplings I saw on Pinterest- damnit- deep breath in, deep breath out."
As you breathe out imagine any negativity flowing out of your system.
"Breath out the liars- I wonder what they are doing right now- IN AND OUT."
Feel the deep breaths cleansing your body of any stress, and overwhelming moments.
"Lowkey craving honey fries right now- what the fuck, no I'm not, just focus on the meditation y/n."
As we end this practice, remind yourself of knowing your worth, standing tall and not feeling small, Loving yourself and your journey, knowing that you are both a work of art and a work in progress at the same time. And all of it is OKAY. Sending you love and light, Namaste.
"Huh, why is my face wet?" I bring my hand up and gently touch my face to wipe away the wetness flowing down my cheeks. "Oh, I was crying."
I recollect myself and close my laptop and head into the kitchen to make something to eat.
"I'm thinkingggg chicken and waffles." I gather all the ingredients and materials for the waffles and put the leftover chicken from the night before in the oven to heat up.
After a long 15 minutes, the waffles and chicken were finally ready. I was plating the food and grabbing the syrup from the cabinet. At the same time, Mielle came out of her room wearing navy blue track pants, with black thong strings peeking above the pants. They gave the illusion of her waist being even more snatched than it already was. Along with that a loose navy blue long sleeve crop top, with blue jordans hanging from her fingertips.
"Mmm, something smells good." Mielle gushed while walking towards the kitchen island.
"I made you a plate here." I placed the plate in front of the chair along with syrup and utensils, and she giddily sat down.
She quickly prayed over her food and dug in.
"Damn no bev?" I teased. She responded with the middle finger as she stuffed more food in her mouth.
Before I sat down I gave her a glass of water and started to dig in my own food.
I was in the middle of eating, too indulged in my food to notice Mielle was tapping my shoulder with the back of her palm.
"Y/N!" She yelled. "Mm?" I hummed and looked up and put another forkful of food in my mouth.
"Your phone is ringing."
"Mm, don't worry about it, it's probably Jean texting me again. I swear he's doing the 3,6,9 method. He texts me allll throughout the day. Same with the others they text me things like, "hey just got out the shower I miss you, or I just got a sandwich let's meet." I mumbled while covering my mouth not wanting to talk with my mouth full.
"Maybe you should answer," Mielle said while turning back to her plate.
"Mmm, how's Marco?"
"Don't switch the subject. If you're not gonna answer, put it on silent it's interrupting my meal."
I got up from the table and into my room to silence my phone. Expecting to see Jean's name on my phone instead I saw a picture of me and my mom with her contact name flashing on the screen. Before I could even process it to answer the phone it stopped ringing.
I looked at my phone to see that I had actually received 5 missed calls from her. Then a text message appeared making my phone flash.
Mom ❤️🤱🏽
Don't know why you're
not answering your phone.
Come to the house at 2:30
we need to talk.
If you're not here, by 3
I'm coming to your apartment.
Delivered.
Okay.
Sent
Did I really want to talk to her right now? No, not really but there's no escaping my Mother right now. Especially if she called and texted me. She doesn't even know how to make a group chat. It was 1:30 now, so I planned to finish my food quickly and make my way.
"What did the lover boy have to say this time?" Mielle questioned with a smile.
"It wasn't him- well he did text me but it was my Mom. She literally ordered me to go to the house at 2:30." I explained while going back to my food.
"Oh, shit-" Mielle said with her eyes widening.
I shook my head while opening my eyes slightly as well.
I quickly finished my food and went to my room to get ready. "If I'm gonna see her I might as well look good." I thought to myself while picking out an outfit. Evidently, I chose a simple fit but screamed bad bitch.
[y/n's fit and hairstyle^]
By the time I was fresh, and looking good it was time for me to leave. I said my goodbyes to Mielle and she wished me good luck. She was getting ready to leave too but didn't tell me where.
During the car ride, I was kinda nervous. My mom turns into a different person when we get into miscommunications, her voice goes down octaves and it's just not it. Thankfully Dad won't be there since he has a class to teach right about now.
To distract me from my nerves, I turned up the radio that was playing music from my confidence boost playlist. The song S&M by Rihanna started playing and I turned it up while rolling my windows down to really enjoy myself.
"CAUSE I MAY BE BAD BUT I'M PERFECTLY GOOD AT IT. SEX IN THE AIR I DONT CARE I LOVE THE SMELL OF IT," I shouted while dancing in the seat, maybe going a little bit over the speed limit.
"Na-na-na come on, come on." I sang while throwing the middle finger up. Not to anyone in particular at the moment, it's just a habit sometimes.
The drive really made me detach from everything for a second. The wind blowing against my skin, the sun making my brown skin sparkle, and the sound of my music drowning the streets in its beat.
Just as the song Toxic by Britney Spears started to play, I arrived at my family house. I turned down the music and put my windows up. My mom don't play extra loud music sometimes. Even though she be on Instagram watching videos at full volume.
As I walked towards the door, I recited some affirmations. It's okay to cry, you're amazing, my opinions, feelings, and ideas are valid, I will come out of this conversation with a positive outcome.
I placed our signature 8 count knock letting her know it's me. Shortly after the door opened and revealed my mom.
'Hey, Mom." I said with as much confidence as I could.
"Hey, sweetheart, good to see you." She placed a warm hug on me and let me in the house.
--
We settled on the U-shaped couch, and she gave me a bottle of water.
"How have you been?" My mom asked with a smile
"Could be better considering. Can we just cut to the chase please?" I said with more attitude than I intended.
"Right. So your father told me everything, but let me tell you how I found out. Back when your father and I first met, my friend had taken me to one of the underground fights. It wasn't anything new since that's what I grew up around, but I didn't feel like going. Anyway, it was your Dad fighting some nigga, I think his name was Nile? Anyways, your father had won but afterward a security guard came up to me and my friend saying one of the fighters requested to meet us."
"Knowing me, I thought this was a setup because we haven't made any type of interaction, but my friend insisted. We ended up going to the dressing room and it was your dad with Levi. He told me he saw me from the crowd and wanted to take me out. I was a little hesitant at first because of the environment. So, I said no. He asked why and I said I don't know, just no. He started to persuade me but it was corny as hell."
She started to smile at this part and I raised my eyebrow at her. She cleared her throat and continued with the story. We ended up leaving his room but just chilled around the area talking about the fight and other stuff. He came up to me again with Levi trailing behind him. He basically told me how it was. Being blunt and arrogant. I don't know how or why but I ended up saying yes-"
"How does this relate to anything?" I asked
"Can I finish?" She snapped while making her voice deeper.
Monster voice...
"Moving on, we got married and had you blah blah blah. You were around 4 years old and he had come home with Levi, looking beat up. I'm talking busted lip, black eyes, blood everywhere. I got mad at him for coming in here exposing you to that at such a young age."
"He understood, and stopped fighting, but he was so attached to that world, he started to train and start building up the gym business. Now, around the time you were dating Porco but towards the end, he told me he saw Porco at one of the fights recently caused a ruckus. We decided to keep you out of that fighting world, for your own safety. Now here we are, and the secrets out." She concluded looking a little guilty.
"Why did you continue the lie, if I started to practice self-defense with Dad even before I started Porco? Did you not believe in my abilities to defend myself when needed? Did you not trust me, what? What was the reason?" My voice started to get caught in my throat towards the end.
"No baby, nothing like that," she scooted closer to me while rubbing her hand along my arm, noticing the hurt in my voice. "You have to understand, we only wanted to keep you safe. Of course, we believe in you and trust you. The world is crazy and you're our only little girl. We only want what's best for you. To be happy and focus on your passions."
A small tear dripped from my eye. Hearing how much they truly care is nice to hear, and just being able to hear the whole story.
"Talk to your father y/n." She said while rubbing my back.
"Woah Woah slow your roll, I just spoke to you." I protested.
"I know but, that man barely shows emotion, well heh, anyways he's an erratic mess. Forgetting things, waking up late. He misses you."
I sighed, "Fine."
"Great! I actually left something at the gym, it's for you but I forgot it can you pick it up for me?" She sheepishly said.
"Smooth Mom. Yeah, I guess."
She smiled. "Now tell me about your friends and this boy Jean I've been hearing about."
I tried to hide my smile from her at the mention of Jean's name, but I can't hide anything from her. While explaining to her about my little "history" if you can call it that, with Jean, it made me realize how much I missed him.
Truth was, I felt like Jean was the person I could laugh with even when something is corny and only funny to the two of us. Someone, to call at night and talk about the little things like, how was your day? To the bigger things like, who do you want to be in the world?
"Y/n lemme tell you something, men are dumb. They care about their own feelings and boost their own ego. Usually, I would say drop the nigga and focus on modeling, but this guy seems good for you. I don't know about Mikasa though, talk to him soon. He might lie just go off your intuition. It's also okay to make his ass wait too." My mom said going into lecture mode.
I laughed at her words but agreed. I'll talk to him, just not today hah.
After what seemed like hours of talking to my Mom, about Jean, and how life has been, just about anything. I left the house but with the next destination being the gym.
--
I parallel parked into my usual reserved parking spot in the front and exited the car. Just as I'm about to walk in, I see Sasha, Connie, and Marco walking towards the exit. I quickly run behind my car, while slightly peeking over at them.
Damn universe, I said not soon, not today.
They were smiling talking amongst themselves, Sasha groaning, most likely hungry. Marco wore a soft smile but his phone rang and his smile grew. He took the call and walked away from his friends waving bye.
Probably going home to Jean.
I wait until they are ahead of my car for me to casually walk in. Once I stepped into the gym the humidity of sweat made my lips scrunch under my nose, and the song ended leaning into the next like falling dominoes.
Annie wasn't in the front, so I assumed she was busy with a class, working out, or showering. I walk to the back of the gym towards the rink gaining stares from the men and women working out.
Soon enough I spot my father writing something on a clipboard wearing sweatpants and an oversized hoodie. He didn't have his usual "commander-like" aura. Instead, he wore the stench of stress.
"Wow, Mom said you were stressed but I didn't know it was this bad." I joked while approaching him.
His head snapped up in the direction of my voice and his face instantly softened. Instead of letting him say anything, I wrapped my arms around his torso and he did the same.
"I'm sorry sweetheart, please forgive me," he confessed.
"It's fine- well no it's not but I forgive you," I said muffled into his chest.
The hug lasted about a minute until we finally pulled away and he wore a smile on his face.
"Levi is in my office eating if you want to talk to him. Your friends were also just here." My Dad said while regaining newfound composure.
"I know, I saw them when I was walking in. I'll go talk to him."
"Did you talk to them yet?" He asked
"Nope, I will eventually," I replied with a shrug.
"Whatever you say. Annie is around here somewhere, I'll grab her if you want?"
"Sure, I'll be right back." I walked into the office tucked away from all the commotion.
Levi looked up from his to-go container and made eye contact with me.
"About time." He dryly stated while rising from his seat to come and embrace me in a hug.
"Missed you too short stack." I teased since his head was slightly below my chest. He made an annoyed tch sound and tried to release himself from the hug but I tightened my grip.
Finally releasing him, he went back to his bowl of food sitting at my dad's huge office chair that resembled a throne of some sort.
"What are you eating?" I asked while walking over to the table.
"Baked mac and cheese with a salad." He said while picking up some of the steaming mac and cheese on his fork.
"Can I have a bite?"
"No, I'm not sharing a fork."
"Can you waterfall it into my mouth or something?" I was basically begging at this point.
"No. Make your own."
"Hold upppp, you made that?" I asked with shock.
"Yeah, Erwin and your mom taught me."
"In that case, I need to have a bite," I said while grabbing his fork and stuffing it in my mouth.
"Mmm, good job uncle! Proud of you there are no corn flakes to make it crispy either good."
"Mhmm, don't you have things to do?" He said while going on his toes slightly to grab the fork from my hand to wipe it off with a paper towel.
"Not really, but ill leave. Bye love you!" I cheerfully said while waving.
"Love you too."
While I was walking back to my father I saw a familiar blonde ponytail talking to him.
She turned her head around and saw me and rotated her whole body to face me.
Based on her forehead and nose shining brightly under the fluorescent light, she had just gotten out of a workout.
"Hey, Annie," I said when I finally made it face to face with her.
"Hey... listen you know I don't really apologize, but I'm sorry for lying to you, won't happen again." Even though her tone was quite monotone I could tell she really cared.
"Damn right it won't. I would hug you but... Another time." I said with a sarcastic smile while looking her up and down.
"Nice to see you're still yourself."
After talking to them for no longer than 10 minutes, I decided to part ways to allow each of us to get on with our day. I left the gym feeling a sense of happiness that I was able to clear the air with my family. All that's left were my friends and him.
"Nope, let's not ruin our good mood right now." I thought as I plugged my phone into the aux and drove home.
[A/N: YURRRRR hey guys! I'm officially on spring break, but I do have two projects to do 🧍🏽♀️🔫. I'll def update as much as I can. Also double update PURRR. Last thing! I have an announcement for the next chapter heh. Okay continue reading mwah love you all.]