Starting with a low bang...incorrect quotes.
~~~
Kaito: If I were to punch myself and it hurt, would I be weak or strong?
Kokichi: Weak.
Kaede: Strong.
Maki: An idiot.
---
*in Among Us*
Shuichi: *Kills Kaito in front of Maki*
Maki: *reports body*
Maki: It was Kokichi.
Shuichi: Ok.
Himiko: Ok.
Kaede: Got it.
Miu: Seems legit.
Kokichi: What? I was doing my tasks this whole time!
Kokichi was not the imposter. 1 imposter remaining.
---
Maki: KOKICHI!
Kokichi: What? I haven't done anything wrong yet...which is actually pretty amazing.
---
Tenko: I will never get over the inequality that men's jackets have inside pockets and woman jackets don't.
Angie: Amen.
Miu: I have nowhere to put my sonic screwdriver.
Tsumugi: Or my fake FBI badge.
Kaede: Or my pocket magnifying glass.
Himiko: Or my wand!
Kirumi: Or my psychic papers.
Angie: Or my precious!
Tenko: I lost it at "my precious"
Maki: So did smeagle.
---
*Kaito and Shuichi sitting in a jail cell*
Shuichi: Who should we call?
Kaito: I'd call Maki, but jail seems safer.
---
Himiko: Kokichi, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?
Kokichi: I don't know, love you, talk to you later.
Himiko: Ok, I love you too, I'll go ask Kaede.
---
(Warning minor T3nm!k0)
*at an all girls sleepover*
Tsumugi: Truth or dare?
Himiko: Dare.
Tsumugi: I dare you to kiss the hottest person in this room.
Himiko: Hey Tenko?
Tenko: *blushing*
Tenko: Yeah?
Himiko: Can you move? I'm trying to get to Kaede/Maki.
---
Kaede: Time-sensitive question, how to flirt with boys?
Maki: Throw rocks at him.
Himiko: Turn them into a hot dog.
Tenko: Kill them.
Kaede: Thanks, guys.
---
NSFW next few.
---
Miu: Is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing?
Kokichi: No, it's called highjacking.
Kaito: No guys, it's called weed wacking.
Kirumi: No, it's called disappointing your mother.
---
Miu: Is having a penis fun?
Rantaro: It has its ups and downs.
Kokichi: Sometimes it's a little hard.
Kaito: It's a pain in the ass!
Kaede: Oh Jesus f*ck guys come on.
---
Kokichi: My dick has a lot in common with the sun.
Miu: Nobody likes to look directly at it?
Angie: It gives people cancer?
Kaede: Woah Woah Woah.
Kirumi: It rises at the crack of dawn?
Maki: It disappears at night?
Tsumugi: Direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?
Tenko: It needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?
Himiko: No one will ever touch it?
---
*Opening a pizza box*
Himiko: This pizza is big.
Kokichi: Do you know what else is big?
Angie: *bursts into the room*
Angie: HIS LOVE FOR ATUA, CAN I GET AN AMEN?
~~~
That is it my friends and my first new book.
🔦Make sure you carry a flashlight.🔦