Only I know my pain, who else would
They say pain is exaggerated
Mayday
I'm suffering from the world I faced
- Ateez, Fever
For the first time in weeks Rory tried to do her homework. Well, she did for about three minutes. Then she got distracted by the sunrise. Truth was, Rory hadn't slept a single second that night.
She felt tired and exhausted but her body resisted going to sleep. Whenever she tried her body would stiffen and make it impossible to relax. The whole night she had tried to meditate to calm down and eventually she took the sleeping pills of Ms. Choi but it didn't help.
Rory was too scared. She was scared of meeting them again. Throughout the weeks she had gotten used to dreaming the same nightmare over and over again and waking up full of sweat in the morning.
But she was afraid of seeing her friends like that again. In her dreams she had never seen the boys but suddenly they appeared and it drove her insane. Rory was scared what would happen, if she would dream again.
Would she meet them again? Would something change?
This morning Rory walked alone to school. Most of the time Chan would drive her but today he had to work early and Rory knew he felt guilty for not being there. Rory didn't want him to feel like that.
Chan was one of those reasons she tried to get better. Without him she would have been lost and alone, most of the time. For him she wanted to be normal again. But she hadn't gotten better.
Completely in thoughts Rory bumped into a person and fell onto the ground. Surprised she looked around and saw a girl who was lying on the floor as well.
Immediately a few students ran up to them and helped the girls stand up again. With a bow Rory thanked them and wanted to walk away but the girl stopped her.
"I'm so sorry for that. Are you okay?", she asked making Rory turn around. When the girls eyes fell onto Rory's face her eyes widened but she tried to not made it obvious. Still Rory had seen it. And she saw the pitiful look the girl gave her.
"I'm fine."
"Oh, uhm.", the girls said embarrassed. Then she gave Rory a small smile. "Ok, bye!"
The girl disappeared as soon as it came and Rory couldn't help but feel annoyed at the pitiful looks she got from the students. Rory ignored them as good as she could but still she could feel them.
Rory reached the hallway to her classroom and passed a way too familiar wall. A few weeks before she couldn't walk past it without crying but now she just felt empty.
Her eyes wandered around the pictures of their plays and theatre posters. Most of these pictures were taken by herself since she was in charge of filming and making advertisement when she didn't act on stage.
One of the pictures showed Danbi in her Juliet costume while Seonghwa had an arm around her waist. He had played Romeo and Rory remembered how his friends purposely gave him this role so he'd have to kiss Danbi.
Another one showed Mingi and Hongjoong at the technic table, hands full of food. Hongjoong had always taken the lead and was writing the texts with the help of Mingi. Mingi on the other hand had been in charge of technic and light. With a smile Rory remembered how Yunho had accidently messed it up and how he had tried to fix it before Mingi could notice.
Yunho. Rory's eyes wandered to a picture of him with Wooyoung on his back. When practice was hard or everyone was tired because of school, the both of them had tried to cheer everyone up and most of the time it worked.
Wooyoung wasn't actually playing in the play but he had taken care of snacks and food. When they actually performed the play, he had cooked himself even though it was so much work. He wanted to be a part of it and Rory was glad he had been there for them.
Another picture showed Yeosang and San. They had taken care of the outfits and styling. Without them the play wouldn't have been the same. Their skills and knowledge had always helped so the clothes would actually fit the theme.
One of the last pictures Rory had taken showed Jongho smiling brightly into the camera, a guitar in his hands. Jongho had been the boy for everything. Whether it was about acting or playing music during brake time or helping Wooyoung in the kitchen, he had been there. One time he had to learn the text of another player in a day because he had gotten sick just before the play. Somehow Jongho still managed it.
"You have no right to cry.", a voice suddenly tore Rory out of her thoughts. Surprised she wiped away a tear which rolled down her cheek. Rory hadn't noticed she started crying. Confused she looked at a girl who shot daggers at her with her eyes.
"What- what do you mean?", Rory asked the girl confused. Her mind was still reminiscing the times she had with them. The girl only scoffed and Rory couldn't help but feel like she should recognize her.
"He should stand here where you are. Oh, poor Aurora! Look at how pitiful she is! You should have died on sea and Hongjoong should have lived.", the girl spat and now Rory recognized her. Her name was Tess and she had visited all their plays just to see Hongjoong. Backstage Hongjoong had told Rory he thought Tess was creepy and when she asked him out he rejected her.
"Maybe I should have died.", Rory said with a smile, surprising Tess. She had definitely not expected this answer. Rory of course didn't think like that, maybe sometimes at night. But right now Tess's face was so priceless, Rory couldn't help but laugh. People like her expected a fight or an argument but Rory was sick of it.
"Bye!", she said and walked away, knowing fully well Tess was fuming with anger.
When she reached the classroom she gave Mr. Go a smile, making him flinch. The past months he hadn't seen Rory smile, but now he did and he thought it was kind of creepy. With a sigh Mr. Go shook it off.
Rory sat down, smiling to herself, trying not to get Tess's words to close to her. Of course she sometimes couldn't help but think why she exactly was the only survivor.
"Hey, uhm.", a voice spoke to her and when Rory turned around she saw Mark, awkwardly standing there. "Tess is in the hallway and spreads bad rumours about you. Just thought you should know."
With that he wanted to go but Rory surprisingly replied. "How are you so sure they are rumours?"
Mark smiled sadly at her. "I have never seen you be mean to students or cheat on your boyfriend-"
"Which is already impossible, since I don't have one."
"I know. That's why. Most students are ignoring Tess but a few actually believe her.", Mark said. Rory turned away signalling their conversation was over but Mark's gaze fell onto the empty seat next to her. "Can I, uhm, sit next to you?"
Surprised Rory looked at him again. The past months no one wanted to sit next to the depressed girl. Even though Mark had plenty of friends, he wanted to sit next to her. Rory knew this was a chance fate gave her. And she had to take it.
"Of course."
With a smile Mark sat down next to her and took out his school supplies. Mr. Go looked at him confused but didn't ask further why he suddenly changed his seat.
Mark didn't try to talk to Rory throughout the lesson making Rory more relaxed. Tired she listened to Mr. Go explain something about rights and laws and felt her eyelids getting heavier and heavier.
Not able to fight back now, Rory slowly fell asleep.
Raindrops splashed against her skin as soon as Rory came out of the water. Gasping for air she looked at the sinking ferry in front of her, not able to do anything in order to help. Desperate she watched the sky but the helicopter would not be here in time.
Her lips tasted salty but she wasn't sure if it was from her tears or because of the sea. In shock Rory could only watch the figures falling in the water. A familiar pink scarf floated towards Rory and now she was sure, it were tears streaming down her face. Rory clearly remembered picking it up, the only thing that gave her strength to not let go of a board holding her on top of the cold water. She remembered losing it in the trouble of getting on the Helicopter.
But now it was there. And as soon as Rory touched it, the storm suddenly disappeared in a blink of an eye. Confused Rory looked around and gasped.
The ship had changed into the one from her dream the night before. But that wasn't what scared her the most.
It was the familiar boy looking down at her with a small smile.
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ohh who is it?
Who's your bias?