It was currently December 19th.
Today is gonna be one of the hardest days for Jake to get through. Today was Michael's birthday. Not Michael from about a week ago. That's Michael M. Today was Micheal S. Birthday. My boyfriends best friend that had died in the car accident they got into, closer to the beginning of the year.
I woke up, and immediately texted Jake good morning then started to get ready to go over. We knew Michaels family was gonna do a little happy birthday for him today at his grave. I knew it would be hard for Jake To go but I know this is something he needs to do or will end up regretting it later on just because he's scared to feel his loss again.
I threw on this cute little quick outfit and did my make up.
I then grabbed my purse and headed down stairs.
"Hey pretty mama" I said as I walked into the kitchen. And she was their.
"You look cute this morning."
"Just this morning?" I gasped pretending to be hurt.
"Yeah, sometimes you look like a raccoon" she joked.
"Well mom, I got some news for you. Who do you think I got it from" I said as I poured myself some Lemonade.
"Rude" she gasped.
"I'm kidding you always look beautiful mama" I said giving her and my little sister a big old hug.
"I know" she gave me a kiss on the head.
"Will you be home tonight?" She asked me.
"Well I'm going to spend most of the day with Jake to help him get through Micheals birthday. And then Kendall thought it would be fun to have a little girls night at her place." I told her.
"Alright no problem but once it comes to the 21st you need to be ready to go. Because we will be heading to the mountains to spend Christmas"
"Yes mom. I know." I rolled my eyes.
"Woah watch that attitude. I don't care if you're 18 right now you're under my roof I can make you cancel all of you plans"
"I'm sorry mom." I said.
"Okay" she said and just walked away. I could tell she was annoyed and I felt bad afterwards. I think I'm just a little salt I won't see Jake til nearly New Years since we are spending Christmas with our families alone.
I went to the store to grab some flowers and balloons then went to go pick up Jake to go.
Once the event was over. Jake and I went back to his house and he just laid in my arms for a little. Until it was time for me head over to Kendall's.
I noticed that hailey was there as I pulled up.
"Hey girl!" Hailey said when she answered the door. "Hey" I gave her a big hug.
"Where's ken?"
"Shes just using the bathroom"
"How are you ?! Missed you" I gave her another hug.
Kendall and hailey are like two peas in a pod. They are bestfriends. I also know Selena Gomez so we avoid anything Justin related as much as possible.
"I've been good. Just a little busy but good. Missed you too. How are you?"
"Same here lots of traveling between New York and here along with college."
"That's good though, you excited for your little sister?"
"So much. But I'm so scared I'm going to miss so much because I'm living my own life now" I told hailey.
"Awe girl" she pulled me into a hug.
" you're gonna be a great big sister no matter what. She's gonna love you"
"Thank you Hails" I said
"Of course"
"LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Ken came out and yelled striking a funny pose at the end causing me and hailey to die laughing into each other's arms.
We had a few lady's come over and do our nails for us. While we talked and watched a few movies.
After went out back to make some s'mores and then hopped into the hot tub for a little bit. It was a night very well needed if you asked me.
I spent the next day at home with mom and Tristan.
And now it was the morning of the 21st and I was in one of jakes hoodies and a pair of leggings with some all white adidas on. I didn't even bother doing my make up and just threw my hair up in a bun.
"VANNESSA, TIME TO GO" Tristan yelled.
"OKAY COMING" I yelled back.
I double checked that I had everything I needed. All my chargers, make up, hair stuff. Then quickly rushed down stairs with my bags.
"Sorry, I was making sure I had everything" I told my mom and Tristan.
"No problem" Tristan replied.
We all hopped into the car and then headed to the airport to meet the rest of the family on the plane.
"Ness!" Penelope ran up to me as I walked onto the plane. "Hey cutie!" I said as I picked her up. "I missed you little one" I said and gave her a big hug.
"'Miss you too" she told me. Before I set her down and found a seat.
About 5 minutes later after I took a seat.
Kim and Kanye and my other adorable little cousins came.
"NORTHY!" I yelled. "VANESSA!" She yelled back and jumped into my arms.
"Can you stop growing!" I said
"I know right!" Kim said.
I put northy on the side for a minute and stood up to give Kimmy a hug.
"How are you?" She asked.
" really good, you?"
"You know busy, handling these kids and saving people from jail. But I'm doing good"
"You know if you ever need anything. Need me to watch the kids at all. I'm a plane ride and phone call away" I told her. "Thank you" she hugged me.
"Of course"
"Sup Kanye?" I said to him.
"You know, just make some of the best music to exist" he said causing me to laugh. Wasn't quite sure if he was joking or not.
"Well I'm stoked for your next album" I told him.
"As everyone should be" he replied causing everyone to laugh.
I spent my plane ride just playing with mason and everyone. I don't get to see my little cousins too often so I love to soak up the time with them when I can.
The plane ride threw by and next thing I knew we had landed and was headed to the usual resort we have been to for so many years.
"Okay everyone, get settled in. Rest for a little. We have dinner at 7" my grandma Kris told everyone.
I rushed to my room, that was one of the bigger rooms before anyone could get it.
"Hey! Not fair!" Ken said causing me to laugh
"What do you mean! I beat you here" I told her.
"I know I'm just kidding" she told me.
"We'll go unpack and then come in here til dinner. We can watch a movie or something" I told her.
"Okay" she smiled at me.
We decided to watch one of my favorite movies, 10 things I hate about you.
About half way through it, northy and p came into the room and started watching it with us.
"Can you please do my hair and a little make up for dinner" p asked me.
"Uhhh i don't know about that girly. Let me talk to your mom about the make up part" I told her. And she nodded her head showing she understood then said "okay."
"Hey kourt" I said when she answered my FaceTime call.
"You know I'm like 3 rooms down?" She said.
"Yeah but I'm way too lazy to walk to you just for this one question" I told her. "Okay" she laughed.
"What's up?" She asked.
"P wants me to do some make up on and her hair for dinner tonight. So I'm wondering if just a little is okay?" I asked.
"Uhhh" she sat their thinking.
"Okay, but just a little" she answered.
"Thank you!" P yelled. Causing us to chuckle.
"Alright thank you" I said after.
" no problem. Thank you"
"Alright bye"
"Bye" she said and then hung up.
When it came time to getting ready for dinner I did my hair and make up with Kendall in my room. We listened to some music and just had a little more girl talk while we did so.
Once I was done with my hair and make up. Northy and Penelope came back into the room. I put Penelopes hair into two cute douche braids and then just did a little bit of blush, lip gloss and clear mascara on p.
We all then went to what would be an eventful dinner just because there's always something to argue over.
Once we got back from the restaurant, Kendall and I went to go chill on the hot tub.
When we were done with that it was probably around 11:30. After we both went to our own rooms. I took a shower then pulled out my computer to make a FaceTime call to Jake so we could talk for a little before I fell asleep.
CHRISTMAS DAYYYYYYY
IT WAS FINALLY CHRISTMAS DAY. I woke up to little P and Northy jumping on my bed. "COME ON ITS CHRISTMAS" they said.
"Alright, alright I'm up" I groaned.
Well they succeeded at getting me up and then I helped them wake up everyone else.
I got some really cute clothes, shoes and purses alone with make up. For me it sure was a successful Christmas.
We all sat in the living room just enjoying eachothers company for a little. Then Kendall and I decided to go snowboarding until it was dinner time.
After dinner we then decided to make s'mores.
"Hey, can you make my s'more ?" Mason asked me. I make my s'more just perfect. "Yeah of course" I said and grabbed his sticks.
I make mine always double the chocolate and toast the marshmallow just perfectly. On mine I sometimes like to add white chocolate or cookies and cream to it.
"Thank you" mason said as I gave him, his.
"CAN YOU DO MINE NEXT?!" Saint asked jumping up and down.
"Of course" I chuckled at how cute he is.
I then started to help all the little ones with their s'more.
"Can you sleep with us tonight?" Northy asked suggesting to her and P.
"No with me" saint said.
"How about this. We all have one big sleep over in the living room" I told them.
"I think that's a great idea" my grandma said.
"Me too! You guys will have so much fun!" Kim said.
"Okay!" Saint said happily. " YAY!" The girls yelled. I chuckled at their cuteness.
"Will you join us?" The girls asked Kylie.
" uhhh" she said. "I'll hangout with you guys for a little" she said. "NO!" The girls said "we want you to stay with us!" They started to throw a fit.
"Hey! Now if you guys are gonna throw I fit I will not sleep in the living room with you guys" I told them and they nodded.
"How about this. She hangs out with us just for a little bit but then goes to her room too sleep. She's gotta be on the bed for the baby" I explained to them.
"Okay" they said happily.
"Thank you" Kylie mouthed to me and I nodded my head telling her you're welcome.
"I'll join you guys tho" Kendall said.
"Oh thank god!" I said causing everyone to laugh.
"Hey! That's rude" saint said.
"Look I love you guys but if I have to deal with all of you ALONE IM BOUND TO JUMP OFF THIS PATIO!" I told him.
"jump? "He said. Giving me a questioning look. " why would you do that? That's far. It would hurt"he said
" yes but that's the point " Scott said. " I don't blame her. She could probably last longer than me all alone with you kids. But I would do the same" scott joked. "Actually you guys would probably drive me to get drunk first then jump off" he said. We all laughed.
"I'm stronger then you? Wow" I said
"Hell Penelope is stronger then me" Scott said. I nodded my head in agreement.
Everyone about 40 mins later started cleaning everything up and heading inside.
After I noticed Scott standing my the railing looking over the lights and night sky.
"Hey" I said walking up next to him.
" what's up kiddo" he said.
"Not much. You doing okay?" I asked. I could tell her had a lot on his mind and he's been my rock more times then I could count. I think it's about time I was his.
"Yeah. It's just all complicated" he rubbed his hand through his hair.
" I know" I sighed. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
" I just want the best for my kids and kourt. But I'm always gonna have love for kourt. It's just sucks when I go on these vacations and I have to remind myself we won't be together again" he explained.
"I know. But hey I'm always here. On any trip or not. If your emotions ever get too much. And you need time away from them. You can always come find me. We can talk or just hangout" I told him.
" I know. Thank you for that kid. You're the greatest" he said and gave me a hug. " you've been there for me more times then I know. So I wanna do the same. We are family. And I'm always gonna be routing for you and Kourt. I know you probably don't want to hear that. But that's the truth. And I'm not gonna hide it. You guys have been through a lot. You have your demons and it sucks to think maybe you guys were right person wrong time but then I wouldn't have my amazing little cousins" I told him.
" it doesn't help hearing that but I appreciate it. But I get what you mean. The damage is done. And we can only move forward and I try not to regret it because I have some amazing babies." He smiled.
" you do and you're an amazing dad" I told him.
"I appreciate that. Thank you. Sometimes I feel like my mistakes don't make me a great dad."
"Hey as long as you try not to do anything to affect them. You're an amazing dad. And I know you'd do anything for them. You're still growing. You're gonna make mistakes you're human. Just make sure you teach your kids that some mistakes have consequences, and it's okay to make them as long as you learn from them. That they are only human too."
"You really are one hell of a kid. Thank you I will" he told me. " thank you" I said and smiled at me.
"Seriously though. I don't know if you were switched at the hospital with the real kardashian or something" he joked. " because you have become an amazing person. I'm proud of you" he told me.
"I'm proud of you" I told him.
After that we went inside and he helped us build little forts. We played the wii like just dance and Mario cart. I also played some fortnite with mason. Then we all picked elf to fall asleep too.
I'd say it was one hell of a Christmas. One to remember.
The next few days we pretty much just had fun snowboarding and enjoying the snow and each-others times.
It was currently 31st NEWYEARS. We got back into LA yesterday. Tonight kourtney is having a new years party at her place.
I was currently in my room getting ready with Alexis.
"IM GOING" my mom yelled.
I walked out of my room and to the railing by the stair case where I could see her.
"Okay. I love you. We will be there soon!" I told her.
"Okay, be safe. Love you too" she said
" you be safe too" i said.
"You guys have fun!" I said and waved bye and her and Tristan.
I then went back into my room where I finished my make up and Alexis finished Hers. Then I curled her hair.
"Did you have a lot of fun with your man this last week?" I asked her.
"Yes. Makes me so sad to be going back to New York soon" she said. Giving me a sad face.
"Well at least you got to spend time with him like this last week. I didn't get to see Jake." I told her.
" I know. You're right. Just sucks you know" she said. As I started curling her hair.
I nodded. "You ever just think about the day when you finally won't have to do this distant thing?" She asked me.
"All the time" I told her.
"What are you gonna do though?" I asked her. " what do you mean?" She said.
"Well we know that NY isn't Kris first choice in schools, so what if he goes to another one" I said
" I've thought a lot about it and I think I'd transfer." She said. And It sucked hearing that. I would miss my bestfriend if she did but I would hundred percent understand.
"Makes sense." I nodded my head and gave her a smile. I love her too much to let her worry about my feelings regarding it.
" you're lucky that New York has always been one of Jakes top states to go to school in. It's like you guys are meant." She said giving my a smirk.
"Well yeah, but doesn't mean he'll get a scholarship to play in NY. And oh shut up. That doesn't mean we are meant to be" i told her.
I just got done with the last curl of the first half of the hair that was down. Alexis turned around for a minute and faced me. She was sitting down on a chair in front of my bathroom counter.
"You haven't talked about forever with Jake since you guys got back together. Do you not think he's the one anymore ?" Alexis asked.
"Not at all. I just don't want to give my hope up again. You know how bad it broke me the first time. I never saw that coming. None of us did except Jake. So that just shows I don't always know what hes up to or thinking. So I would just rather not get to far ahead. I could see myself with him til I'm on my death bed with four beautiful kids, with his eyes and smile. I could see me walking down that isle and saying I do. I just can't let myself go their too much anymore." I finally expressed to her.
"Ohhh vaness." She sighed and gave me a hug.
" I don't see that ever happening again. He knows he's was stupid to let you go the first time. But have you talked to him about this ?" She asked me.
I shook my head no. " well you need to. Sooner then later!" She gave me her Stern look. Pretty much telling me if I don't she will. I nodded my head telling her I would and we continued with her hair.
Jake and I are in just as a great place as we were before. I have no reason except history and a little bit of trust issues from that to this anything like that would happen again. I love where we are at and I love him even more than before and I didn't think that was possible.
My outfit was pretty much all white with a blue Jean jacket and all black heel boots.
Once we were all changed. We headed over to the party.
"Well well. Look who we found" Alexis and I heard someone behind us as we were walking to the door.
We turned around to find my handsome man in a black button up and jeans with some fresh white nikes. Along with Kris and it doesn't matter what Kris was wearing. He's not my man.
"Baby!" I said happily as he walked up to me and gave me a big hug lifting me off the ground for a second.
"I've missed you pretty girl" he gave my a kiss on the cheek then the lips. " I've miss you too" I told him.
We then entered the party walking hand in hand with our mans.
We greeted my family and a few friends and then went out back to find some seats. There were a few chaise lounges open. So we took it upon ourselves to take those.
I took a seat on one and Jake took a seat right next to me. We laid down and he cuddle up right on me.
While Kris and Alexis just stayed sitting on there's.
"Foods just got done if you guys want to go grab a plate" Tristan came up to us and let us know.
"Okay, thank you" I said
"Welcome"
"I'll go get us some food. You can stay here" Jake said. As he stood up
"Okay, thank you" I said and he gave me a kiss before Kris and his took off to go get us food.
"Thank god. Cause Im hungry but did not want to get up" I said.
"So lazy" Alexis shook her head.
We sat there and ate and it was probably around an hour later when Haley and Kendall came running up to me. "Come on girls come dance with us!" They said excitedly. I could tell that they had been dancing.
I started taking off my boots because if I danced in them I would definitely break something.
"You guys can come. Or don't. Just don't get yourselves in trouble" I joked. "I'll try not to" Jake said and I gave him a kiss and my shoes. Then we all took off into the house to dance a little.
A few hours later after it was about 10 mins til midnight. Alexis and I decided it was time to go find the boys. We decided to check the chairs where we left them and luckily they were still their so it didn't make our job that hard.
"Hey baby" Jake smiled at me as I took a seat next to him and then gave me a kiss.
"Ready for it to hit midnight?" Kris asked.
"Definitely. I heard kourt got a firework show" I said
"No way!" Kris said.
"Yes" I said happily. I love firework shows.
"I just want to thank all of you guys for coming out. You all are amazing and mean something to me. I hope we all have an amazing year!" Kourt said on a microphone in the grass where she was and mostly everyone else was. Waiting on the show to start. Then we all started counting down from 10.
"10!"
"9!"
"8!"
"7!"
"6!"
"5!"
"4!"
"3!"
"2!"
"1!"
We all shouted. Then Jake pulled me in for our first ever New Years kiss. "I love you" I pulled away.
"I love you. And thank you for making me the happiest person on this earth" Jake said causing me to kiss him again.
"Ditto" I told him. I smiled at him. He gave me a kiss on the forehead.
———-
I have a new book out called strings! If you guys wanna go check it out!
Thank you for the support on this book! It means so much to me. I look forward to continue writing both book.