Chapter 31: Valentine's Day Love Child or Brought Something Pyrophoric
“Love is the bridge that leads from the I sense to the We, and there is a paradox about personal love. Love of another individual opens a new relation between the personality and the world. The lover responds in a new way to nature and may even write poetry. Love is affirmation; it motivates the yes responses and the sense of wider communication. Love casts out fear, and in the security of this togetherness we find contentment, courage. We no longer fear the age-old haunting questions: "Who am I?" "Why am I?" "Where am I going?" - and having cast out fear, we can be honest and charitable.”-Carson McCullers
Although I didnt make it to my goal :/ I thought you guys deserved it who did. Thanks. COMMENT AND VOTE! Sorry its kinda Melancholic and Reflective.
3rd Person's Pov.(Mainly Hunter's ;)
December was both a sore subject and a helpless infatuation to Hunter. More than he'd rather talk about it, she was something to him. Of course with the title his of girlfriend (which still amazed him), but she gave him emotions.
Ryan trying to boss and force his way between him and December was enough to not only irritate him, but bother him with the fact that it was working in a mentally driving way. Hunter would do anything to make sure that December would be okay, and he meant anything.
Love. It was not on his agenda and as for Hunter he still had no belief in it.
Then what was December? He let the thought fade as soon as it popped up.
He didn't believe in love and although December gave him feelings and he liked her a lot—he could never be in love. His parents and even his brother ruined that for him. He barely saw it for other people; he didn't think it was possible for himself.
His dad being addicted to heroin didn't give him a complex or daddy issues. It just made him more careful. He loved his mom but he didn't think it was smart to continuously let him in and out of their lives. If that was love then Hunter was sure he didn't want it. Muse barely if any at all, has really met or knows their father. At five it is easy to forget.
His mom constantly reassured him that love was real and that when he found it he would be willing to do the things he thought impossible. But in his other ear was his older brother Ryan, who understood the situation way more than he did. Ryan was almost three and a half years older than Hunter and he looked up to him at a point in time. He understood at the time what was going on with their parents and built up a hard interior and exterior for emotions. He didn't allow things to get to him anymore. He wasn't the same person he used to be.
And that he tried rubbing off on Hunter as much as possible. And in some way he got to him.
December was his want. Simple. And from his adolescence to now he has always wanted her. Other girls may have been in the picture but they were a pastime because he was always forced to believe that he couldn't have her.
Ryan always taunted him with these words whenever he was caught looking at her. He used them until he finally left the gang and those were his last words to him then. "She's too good for someone like you. Come on Hunter. You're an addict's kid, always in trouble, really short, funny looking hair, and you have a mean big brother. Look kid, she's innocent, a good girl, happy-go-lucky, and cute. That's an incompatible match. She doesn't belong with us. Why taint the good with the bad? She wouldn't even look your way."
And he listened. He grew out of the hair grew almost a foot and a half and became more handsome but he heard that phrase almost every day because every time he thought he'd come close to her, his brother always appeared telling him what was true.
In a way Hunter started to think that his brother just lost hope in the whole general sense and that he should warn him before he got himself hurt.
As a kid he used to tell Tristan about her all the time and although Tristan might have not wanted to keep hearing about it, he listened because it was his best friend.
Tristan on the other hand enjoyed chasing the girls that came on to him. He didn't worry about the good girls because he didn't think he'd need to when there were others throwing themselves at him.
Even though he was born on Valentine's Day—which his mom said was because he was a love child—he thought it was stupid. Not the day but the whole point. Love in general only resulted in his mom raising three children alone and in love with someone who didn't love her enough to quit. He was not a Valentine's Day love child.
Hunter felt angry but not only at his father; just in general. Maybe it truly was at Ryan or the cop but he realized what they've done. They changed his life in such a negative way that there's barely any positive in it. His friends brought one percent and December alone brought another then his mom and Muse brought one more; and that made up the 3% of happiness in his life.
He needed it to change. He needed to get his brother and the December’s uncle off of his back and he needed to prove to not only himself and December--that he was better.
Truly he never was in it for her virginity—although he made it seem like he was. He just enjoyed getting under her skin and even making her shiver with lust—or what he thought she was shivering from.
Don’t get him wrong. He did want to be with her in that sense—he just wanted her to not regret it. She always told him that she’d lose her virginity to the person she loved and the fact that she actually thought she loved him scared Hunter in unimaginable ways. At first it gave him a little bit of hope within himself but then he realized something that was true from what Ryan said. Love isn’t real. Plus, if she really did believe in love she shouldn’t waste her love on him. He’d be happy to give her a passionate, caring, thoughtful first time—because he cared about her that much.
Although he thought himself to not be capable of love, he knew that December was the closest he’d get to it. Maybe it was just his selfishness to hold on to the wide-eyed beauty; he didn’t know, but she brought something pyrophoric to his life. He yearned, desired, longed, coveted, and wanted her. But he couldn’t bring himself to say love or barely even think of it. He didn’t like the thought.
But one thing he could admit was that when she finally does let him go—she'd be it for him.
During the temptation activity, of course his brother decided to use December as bate. Hunter being only 14 at the time nearly caved when Ryan pushed her and she sprained her ankle.
She didn’t know it was Ryan but Hunter did and it ate him up inside not to go tell her and ask her if she was okay. His temptation exercise wasn’t just four hours long like everyone else’s. His went on for about 6 years.
Ryan thought Hunter was in love and constantly berated him for it but it wasn’t love. Right? It had to be some sort of obsession he had with her—with the thought of her. Now he had her it still felt the same though. Hunter felt himself frown the he realized that he was just standing in the street, the officer being long gone by now.
He could understand why the officer didn’t want him near his niece—like Ryan said, he was tainted and tainting something pure was evil. Hunter was being evil and selfish for being with December. But it’s—she’s—what he wants. It was like getting near the black marker with the yellow one. Once they touch that yellow will never be the same. Like crumpling a piece of paper, like creating a memory. You could think of it—redo it, but it'll never be the same as it originally was. He was ruining her. But he was too inconsiderate, greedy, even gluttonous, and didn’t want to give her up.
She wasn't a possession, but she was someone he'd always want around.
Reylor had learned that with Kalian. She was always kind of weird but what he did to her reminded me of myself—and I didn’t want that for anyone.
Hopelessness
He was taught not to feel. It was a part of him that he let go…or so he thought. She made him feel—a little too much in fact. There was a reason why the temptation activity was something that was mandatory to join the gang.
Temptations were exactly what the word meant.
temp·ta·tion
tem(p)ˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun
1. A desire to do something, especially something wrong or unwise.
She was also the definition; or at least for Hunter. He knew she wasn’t perfect but that’s what made him want her even more. He wasn’t perfect either, nowhere close.
Hunter was in a pensive moment—he almost didn’t feel December pressing her palm to his back and calling his name. “Hunter?” She asked soothing his nerves that seemed to burst at his thoughts. Even her voice seemed to beguile him.
“I want to tell you something.” December swallowed the lump in her throat. She was unsure about her next set of words even after the ones she just said were out. She was apprehensive, even a bit anxious.
And Hunter was afraid of what those words would be.
The things I can't change are the reasons you love me. Listen you can hear them calling my name. I'm all over the place, I can't sit in one place. I'm not ashamed at all. Still findin' myself, let alone a soulmate, I'm just sayin'. Feel like we one and the same, our relationship changed. That or it never existed/She said you're my everythingI love you through everythingI done did everything to her. She forgave me for everything, this a forever thing. Hate that I treated like it's a whatever thingTrust me girl, this shit is everything to me. She from the Jungle, she from the Jungle. I take somebody else's car, drive there undercover.This shit is everything to me, this shit is everything-Drake, Jungle
What do you think? How do you feel about Hunter and his thoughts? COMMENT AND VOTE!
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