"All right! All right! I will listen!"
"Be serious for once, Hyun-su. I'm not joking!" I said this for the third time today.
Every time I wanted to bring the conversation up again, he started to pull me from my hips towards his body, trying to make me forget about the conversation I wanted to have.
It took me a lot of days to approach the subject I wanted to touch. He always did the same, leading me to bed. But I knew this day I wouldn't fall for his trick again.
"I said 'all right,' Ji~~. I said, 'I will listen'~~, "
"Then, remove your hands from my butt," I enunciated with my eyebrows furrowed. I knew what he was going to do next if I didn't block any of that shameless behavior I know by heart.
"Huh? Why?~~" he whined playfully, "I can't do that!! I can't concentrate if I don't have my hands on you~~,"
"Yah!! I can't concentrate if you're touching me!!" I declared, trying to remove his hands from my body. "Come on! Take them from my but-"
"Jisung...you don't love me anymore, right?" He inquired after a moment of silence, seeing how I was taking his hands from me. "Do you want to break up with me? That's why you want to talk? You got tired of this piece of shit, right?" These series of questions were mumbled with a sad tone and with his sight to the ground.
"Hey...hey...no!" I approached him and engulfed him in a tight hug, "you know I love you so much. I would never leave you," I said while caressing his head, "that is not what I want to talk about, babe..."
"You promise, Ji?" He whispered with a little bit of hope.
"I promise. I love you so much, Hyun-su," I separated from him and kissed his lips. "I love you a lot..."
"I also love you so much..." He said between the kiss, "so much, Ji..."
I was enjoying this sweet moment, thinking that nothing was better than this. But that only lasted three seconds. All the sweetness went away when I felt something going down my lower back...
"Hyun-su!!!"
"What?" He looked at me innocently, holding a pout on his face.
"Your hands are on my butt again!!!"
"Oh...I'm sorry...they slipped..." He chuckled.
"Stop touching me up!" This time, I slapped his hands away. "I can't believe you-"
"Ughh!!! How am I supposed to stop touching you? Haven't you seen yourself in a mirror?!!!" He spat, "that's impossible..." he groaned.
I playfully rolled my eyes. He really knows how to make me laugh.
"You are just exaggerating..." I chuckled by removing his hands from my hips.
"I'm not." He sighed, defeated. "Alright, I'll stop..." He went to sit on the couch of my house, then patted his lap for me to sit, "come. Let's talk, Ji,"
Immediately, a smile formed on my lips. Before he could change his mind, I rapidly went to sit on his lap.
I knew this was my opportunity to talk with him about the changes I want to make in my life and our relationship.
This was the day.
I told him everything besides me quitting alcohol and cigarettes. Also about how I wanted to make our relationship more serious and with goals to achieve in the future. Between other stuff that I want to achieve personally.
When I finished, he took some time to process everything I said. I thought he was mad for all the time he took. He was more than quiet. A thing I didn't like about him.
He looked like another person, and that scared me for a whole moment.
"Hyun-"
"Jisung..." Hyun-su placed his hands on my cheeks and caressed them before I said something. "You know...I want to live with you in the future. I want to have our own house, with the small dog you have always wanted," he said before leaning in to kiss my lips, "I see myself with you ever since I met you for the first time. I know we are still young, but I'm certain about it. I also want us to change for good. I want to be with you forever and do everything right with you and for you." His hands traveled to my waist and brought me closer. "You are so important to me and for you...I want to do everything. I want to do those changes..."
He wiped some of my tears. I suddenly started to cry because he understood what I wanted. He didn't get mad. On the contrary, he agreed with everything I said and even told me things I never expected to hear.
"I promise, I'm going to do my best to give you everything you deserve,"
"You don't have to do it for me..." I said sobbing, "if you also want to change...do it for yourself, but not for me..."
"I know I should do it for myself," he said softly, "however, I want to do it for you. I know I already told you this, but let me tell you this one more time. You are a very special person, Jisung. There is no one like you. You are friendly, considerate, and a soft guy. And the truth is that drinking and smoking is not your thing," he said the last thing, chuckling, "you are so cute for that lifestyle...I'm sorry for not noticing before, babe..."
I shrank in embarrassment.
"Don't feel ashamed. I always knew you were different from me, and that is what I love from you," his voice became softer, more than usual. "you are too much for me. And in order to be on your level, I need to work harder. I know it's going to be hard for me to quit that lifestyle I had, but I'll do it for you," he held my hand and squeezed it, "and I'll do it because I want to give you a good future. A future where you do not lack anything, so you can always be happy. A comfortable life where we can be loving each other at any minute, in any place and..."
I was about to say something, but he interrupted me.
"Ji, I know I don't say 'I love you' too often. At least not in words...but whenever I make love to you, I do it from my heart. It's the only stupid way I have to prove it to you...I'm sorry if I'm a little bit cold with those things you like..."
I touched his face and cupped his cheeks. "Hey...I know you love me,"
"You do?" He asked me with a soft expression, "you really do?"
I nodded, "you know that I love you too, right?"
"Of course, I know," he smiled sincerely, "I feel so loved by you. Even in the way you speak to me I can feel it." He pecked my lips several times before speaking again, "you are my role model. You are my inspiration to become a better person, Ji. From now on, let's make those changes. Let's make our relationship more serious, okay? Let's change for good..."
"Yes, babe," I wiped my remaining tears, "Let's change for good, Hyun-su," I said between the kisses.
"I promise to you that it will be like that..."
We stayed hugging each other on the couch for a good while. Immersed in the sweet pecks and kisses we were sharing.
This is what I wanted, to be comprehended by him. Accepting me and loving me for who I really am, and not the one I was pretending to be. I felt a weight being lifted from my shoulders and heart. It felt really good.
I had a lot of expectations about all of this.
And that was my second mistake. Expecting a lot is suffering a lot.
"Hyun-su..."
"Mhmh?"
"Please, tell me that what I'm feeling in my leg it's not your-"
"I promised to you that I was refraining, but you were not helping me!!"
"And why the hell is that? Yah!! Hyun-su!!"
"Why?! You dare to ask WHY?!" He snarled, offended. "YOU were rubbing your thigh against my di-"
I covered his mouth. "Yah! Shut up! My brother can arrive at any moment. He can't see you like this-"
"Excuse me...?" he rolled his eyes, "this was really NOT my fault!!"
"Ugh! Okay, it was my fault. I'm sorry..." I said while crossing my arms.
"Apologizing won't resolve anything!"
"What do you want me to do, then?"
"Well....we should go to your room, Ji...?" His eyes started to become glassy, "please?"
"Huh? Are you crying? What's wrong-"
"You are still sitting above me...and m-my pants are killing me...!!"
"Oh...yeah?" I snickered, "what if I do this?" I stood up and sat again on his lap, but this time with my legs spread, surrounding his waist.
"W-What are you doing?!" He whispered-yelled, "Ji...don't-"
"I'm just playing..." I acted innocently, "don't you love it when I do this?" I said while making small movements with my pelvis on his member, hardening it even more.
"Y-You a-are crazy..." He managed to say, "I hate that you know how to torture me so pleasantly..."
"Well...that's quite easy for me.." I teased him, "I'm a pro..."
He pulled me immediately from my waist and started to rub me against his manhood. The friction between our layers of clothes made us release a couple of moans.
I lifted his face and placed my lips on his neck, "shall I?"
"D-Do it..." He begged.
I teased him a couple of times before doing what he wanted.
"Ji-"
I chuckled at last and then proceeded to suck one specific spot. This, causing him a desperate shiver and needy moan.
His nails dug in my butt, and this made me hissed in response.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He apologized immediately, "you know how much you are driving me crazy right now..." He muttered invitingly while inserting his hands inside my pants, "don't tease me anymore...give me some of this...I think I deserve it...let me eat you entirely..."
"I–...just because you l-listened to me. L-let's go to my room. I-I'll treat you well, babe..."
"I thought you would never mention it," he said almost in relief, making me laugh for how much he was suffering.
"Let's go..."
We stood up from the couch and headed upstairs.
As we were walking, he was touching my butt and kissing my lips.
We were in the middle of the stairs when the sound of the front door was heard.
"Shit! Shit! It's my brother!" I panicked.
"What do we do now?!" He widened his eyes, "he is going to kill me if he sees me like this!"
"Ah! Fuck! Run to my room!" I rushed Hyun-su upstairs, "you are right! He can't see you with this," I said while grabbing his crotch by impulse.
"Of my fuck- that hurts, Jisung!!"
I nervously laughed at my stupid action.
"It's not funny," he glared at me, "that really hurt!"
"I'm sorry, babe. I'm nervous, just go to my room. I'll be there in a second," I kissed his lips and pushed him to go upstairs.
"Okay, but hurry up. Don't let me be like this..." he said with a sad tone and then directed himself to my room, barely able to walk.
I slapped my cheeks in order to concentrate because I was about to chuckle at how cute he looked. Then, once I composed myself, I went to the living room.
I knew that my brother didn't like my boyfriend at all, so I always hid Hyun-su in my room so they couldn't meet so often.
Today he worked the whole day. He must be tired, and encountering my boyfriend with a boner in the living room wouldn't help that much to his bad mood.
"Jisung, I'm home!" My brother said while taking his shoes off and placing them on the floor, "did you eat? I brought food-"
"Ahhh—! How's the best hyung of this earth, huh?" I rushed to him and back hugged him, "you finally arrived!" I said while shoving him from side to side. "No, I haven't eaten. Thank you for the food, honey..."
"Ouch!!! Your love hurts, honey bun!"
"Don't exaggerate, hyung!" I chuckled while wrapping him in my arms more strongly.
He chuckled too, but his laugh dropped abruptly.
"Hyung?"
"Please, tell me that Hyun-su is not here," he said out of nowhere.
"I-I...he...I- um...how do you-"
"You can't lie to me..." My brother said while separating my arms from his body, then turning around to face me, "you smell like that asshole... What did I tell you about bringing him when I'm not home? He has been here the whole day, right?"
I bit my lower lip and just nodded, "I'm sorry. I can't lie to you...he has been here since the morning..."
"Of course, you can't lie nor hide anything from me. I know everything about you...I literally raised you, Jisung..."
I stayed silent with my head lowered, waiting for him to stop lecturing me.
Once he finished, he sighed and approached me, "listen...just be careful. I know you love him, but there is something I don't like about that guy-"
"Hyung~~. You always say that..."
"I don't care if you hate me for this, but I will always tell you what is best for you. You are my little brother and you are my responsibility. I won't tell you who you should or should not date, just be aware of the people you date, Jisung. Take a closer look at them. Don't give your heart to meaningless people, okay? Don't worry me more than I am..."
"I know...and thank you for always caring about me, hyung. You know that I appreciate it," I said while showing him a genuine smile. "Can I eat a little bit later with you? Hyun-su is waiting in my room, and I don't want to leave him there alone..."
"Okay...I'll leave the food in the kitchen. Either way, I'm not that hungry. I'll rest for a moment while doing some work I have left..."
"Thank you! I'll be in my room," I said while walking away, already directing myself to my room.
"Ahem!" My brother fake coughed when I was just some meters away from him.
I halted and turned around. "Yes, hyung?"
"Aren't you forgetting about something, honey bun?" He mumbled while kicking his foot to the floor, like a little child that didn't receive what he wanted.
I chuckled at the sight. I knew exactly what that meant.
So I ran towards him and engulfed him in a tight hug, "welcome home, Changbin hyung," I said before kissing his right cheek, then the left one.
"That's better," he said while hugging me back.
"I-I need to go, hyung," I said when he didn't want to lose the hug.
"Aiiish...go to that guy," he mumbled while rolling his eyes.
"Yah!" I pushed him playfully, "stop being so overprotective, hyung..."
"Never! Now go, or I will kick him out of the house!" He warned me.
I chuckled. "Hyung~ don't be like that~,"
I was about to turn around when he held my arm.
"Jisung, wait-"
"Yes, hyung?"
"Close the door and put music at full volume,"
"Huh? Why?" I asked, utterly confused.
"The walls are thin, and your room is next to mine," he put his left hand on his forehead and rubbed his templates, "I don't want to hear when you both are fuck-"
"Hyung!!!"
"Thank God mom and dad doesn't live here with us, or else they would freak out at those loud noises you make-"
"HYUNG!!"
"Hahaha, just go and do as I said," he gently pushed me to go away, "but really do it. I'm not joking..."
"I-I sorry...I-I'll do it..."
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