Anakins pov
It's had been sixth months...
six months without her...
Six months of nightmares and pain...
Six months of not knowing when the agony would end, of not knowing wether the love of my life was alive or not...
Every day was agony: even after being accepted back into the grand army of the republic, well the senate had practically begged for my assistance. However all the battles in the galaxy couldn't distract me from my heartache. Not even Obi wans kindness or support could make me feel better, there was no light without (y/n) at my side.
Right now I was seated in the senate lobby awaiting Padmè to return from her meeting. Since the senate was facilitating my return to the grand army I often spent my days around the building, my nights either crying in our old apartment or seeking refuge with the girls at Padmes. Some days I just couldn't cope, that was why the girls continued to stay with her. I didn't want them to see me in my worst moments.
They were so sweet and kind, always trying to cheer me up. A few days ago we even all went out together for a birthday dinner, the pair wanting to celebrate together during one of our days off. Everyone was there: Obi wan, Padmè, most of the 501st, even a few of the other senators and padawans...
But no (y/n)...
The chancellor had told me there'd been no further transmutations from Daramar, that both sith and my Angel had disappeared without trace. This piece of information didn't help settle my nightmares nor the images of her screaming out through my mind. The visions were still clouded but enough to make me severely fearful for my loves life. And that was without the added stress that as far as any of us were aware she was still very much pregnant.
Padmè had provided a solution to that problem however, at least a back up plan. On my return to Coruscant I had found it strange during my hearing to see Padmè sporting a bump. At first I assumed she must also have become pregnant in my absence however she later pulled me aside to explain her Obi wan and senator Acaina had discussed it and decided this would be the simplest way to keep the council from discovering the truth. This way if (y/n) was found and the baby was still there we wouldn't have to worry about the council growing suspicious. However I still wished for (y/n)'s peace of mind that it wouldn't come to that, the prospect over having a baby seemed to scare her and that was the last thing I wanted right now.
Then again I also wanted her back in my arms so I knew she was safe...
That bought me up to today, a rare occasion where I hadn't a mission to attend so Padmè had offered to keep me company over lunch while the girls attended class. Ari had been assigned extra work every since the break out six months ago, it would seem she rather pissed off master Windu. Good girl. Anyway Ahsoka, master Acaina's padawan Bynn and some youngling she'd befriended had offered to stick around to help out so really it was less of a chores and more of a study session. I didn't want to ruin their fun with my gloomy presence though Leia had encouraged me to drop by a couple of times and watch their progress. It made for a nice distraction I'll say that much.
Getting up from my seat I watched as some of the senators began to emerge from their rooms, indicating the meeting must be over. Watching the exit I awaited Padmè, eager to get to lunch while I was still hungry.
"Skywalker!" Someone I really hadn't been expecting to that afternoon then shouted with fury across the hall. As I turned my eyes widened quickly becoming aware of the distinct magenta blade hurtling itself towards me hand. Reaching a hand out I swiftly halted it progress midair and gasps and a few helps of surprised came from the startled senators.
Sure enough as my eyes travelled back they were met by a furious ocean blue pair. It would appear Kaida had arrived back two months early from her mission, what joy...
"You let some assassin take my padawan! Again?! I I'm actually going to kill you this time!" The woman yelled not seeming to care there was a whole audience of senators and staff watching as she marched over towards me. She seemed even more pissed than usual, I'm guessing her mission didn't go so well. Either that or she really hates me. Taking the opportunity while I could a snatched her lightsaber into my gasp but not before she punched my square in the nose. Damm now I know where Ari learnt to hit so hard.
"Watch it! Besides that sith assassin was your psycho brother! - oh yeah thanks for the heads up on that one by the way, you could've mentioned you weren't the only crazy one in your bloodline." I retired quite honestly out of patience to deal with her nonsense right now. Currently I was tired hungry and frustrated, so it wasn't a good time to pick a fight with me.
"Daramar is not my responsibility! I don't even consider him a brother after everything he did, so don't you dare give me that! You were hear, you should've protected her!"
"You think I don't already know that!" I yelled back with ten times the fury she was showing since the comment brought up my own self hatred. Those words where like a trigger to the knife to sunk into my heart, the blade twisting in an excruciating manner as I relieved my darkest moments of guilt. It was my fault she wasn't here, my fault she wasn't safe...
A heavy silence fell over the whole room, even the ever spiteful woman before me biting her tongue as I lowered my gaze to the floor. Not a single word was uttered in the entire hall, everybody around seeming almost fearful to breath. However the woman stood opposite me was evidently immune to that tension and rose a hand to her baggy flight suits zipper. Tugging it down while ignoring me she pulled the fabric up over her shoulder leaving her body exposed in something far less fitting for a Jedi.
Then again I shouldn't have been surprised, like myself Kaida had always been rebellious.
"Join me for a drink." The woman instructed flatly while reaching back and pulling the tie from her dark brown curls of hair. I rose a brow and cocked my head to the side while observing her, trying to find the anterior motive she had to have for this decision.
"No thanks, not after what happened like time." I replied in equally as flat tone while the people around finally started moving once more and found about their day. Kaida rolled her eyes and glanced back over her shoulder my way.
"Oh do relax, all I want's some information." The woman replied while picking her lightsaber back out from by hand and beginning to walk away, seeming to expect me just to follow along.
"...that's what you said last time." I mumbled before pulling out my communicator to pass the message on to Padmè. Though I wasn't entirely sure why at this point I was going to follow her, I mean I could use a drink but she wouldn't usually be my choice of company. However Obi wan wouldn't go with me, and neither would Padmè - at least not at any bar. So that's how I found myself trailing after the woman out into the Coruscant streets.
Walking out into the parking lot the woman approached a quite frankly scary looking speeder bike. Not trusting her to refrain from throwing me off the back I instead walked straight towards my yellow speeder, unlocking it with the key and jumping in the drivers side.
"I'm not travelling on that thing, here come on." I called across while starting the engine up, listening as the woman huffed and paced over. She hopped into the seat beside me without casting her eyes across, instead just folding her arms over her chest.
"Drive." She spoke just as coldly as ever. Actually it felt kind of nice of to be treated with pity, though I still hated the woman sat next to me. This trip really took me back though, it was just like three years ago. Well let's just hope it didn't end up exactly like three years ago...
Eventually we arrived own at of the lower city bars, somewhere council nor senate would find us. The same one I'd been to on previous occasions when events led me to be alone and miserable. Actually it was the same bar that mystery woman kept trying to pick me up in. Yes, she'd tried more than once.
"You seriously drink here? And here I thought you had class." Kaida annoyingly spoke up as we approached the doors. I rolled my eyes and ignored her, heading in through the crowd and straight towards the bar.
"Shut up." I finally replied as we reached the bar, signalling the bartender to come over.
"Or what?" The woman scoffed while ordering her drink by pointing to one of the top shelf bottles.
"Or I'll tell the council you and master Acaina are a little more than just work buddies." I replied cajole catching the drink slid my way and taking a couple of gulps.
"You have no proof." She coughed after a few startled moments, her reaction causing me to smirk a little. Lowering the glass a little from my lips I rose my hand and placed it over hers, tapping a finger against the golden ring. It was so obvious, not only did they spend every second together but both her and Nial wore rings. True his was steel and her's was good but still it was so obvious.
"You son of a-
"Yup, now shut up and drink," I interrupted before she could further insult me today. The woman grumbled and pulled her bottle to her lips, tipping her head back and taking a couple of gulps. "So," I began again while placing my glass down and turning to her with a sigh. "What do you want to ask?"
At my question the woman twisted her seat round and faced me while still holding her liquor bottle. Her ocean eyes scanned over me as she tilted her head to one side, still wearing a cold unforgiving expression.
"Three questions, first up why did Daramar take (y/n) and when?" The woman asked while joking up a single finger away from her bottle in indication.
"It was a few weeks after you left, she was taken from Naboo...we don't know-
"Don't lie to me Anakin it's insulting." She interrupted as I went to say I didn't know why she was taken. Sighing with a glance to the side I cursed her intuition. This woman had always known me, ever since I was a child she knew when I was lying.
"Fine, but don't hit me," I began while moving towards the truth, preparing for the inevitable slap. When she found out I'd got her previous padawan pregnant she was bound to loose it. "...(y/n) was pregnant, she was going to get an abortion when abducted her from the hospital and-
"No you're going to have to go back a step there, (y/n) was, no, you didn't?! Skywalker I'll kill you!" The woman exclaimed while slamming her bottle down on the side and lurching forward to grip my collar and pull me close. Grunting I stared across the short space between her and her and tried not to anger her further with an eye roll.
"Be my guest, I feel like death most evenings these days," I mumbled while casting my eyes down towards the floor. Honestly if she wanted to kill me I really wouldn't care, everyday was agony without (y/n) here. "Seriously, go ahead I wouldn't care, I screwed up Kaida I get that, and now I don't know whether her or the baby are safe...it's a mess and I know that." I sighed while running a hand back through my her and continuing to look down. Tonight was going to become a night of drinking I feared.
There was a long pause as she retracted her hand from my throat, sitting back into her seat. I turned and picked up my glass, finishing the drink off with several burning gulps. Leaning my forearms agains the bar I hung my head and awaited a refill, feeling the woman would speak again soon.
"...I'm sorry."
'Wait what the actual - I didn't miss hear that did I?'
"Oh quit it with the drama king thoughts, even I have feelings you big idiot, and I care a great deal for (y/n) and the things that make her happy...even if you're one of those things." The woman replied in clarification before placing her finger to her lips and giving a sharp whistle towards the barkeeper. Peering round towards this woman whom I'd always assumed despised me and would so forever I watched perplexed as she set a stack of credit down and bought us both another few rounds of drinks in advance.
"...you're weird." I mumbled while looking away again, to tired for this level of confusion.
"Oh please I think you understand me just fine, we both want the best for (y/n), we both don't give a damm what the council say, and well we're both married." The woman replied with the same cold exterior even despite her words being slightly more understanding than the usual sneer. I gave a dry laugh at her words, it felt incredibly strange for her to describe us as similar. However it was true, at least for the most part.
"Well...I'm not married yet, and I don't know wether I ever will be at this point...
"Oh my gods Anakin, stop being so dramatic, as much as it pains me to think the day will come where you get your happily ever after - and before you say I'm just saying that because I've found mine let me tell you right now the life has screwed me over far to much lately." The woman added firmly while taking hold of the first of a good number of shots. Looking at her now I could see a storm lurking in her eyes, something appearing to be troubling her as she gulped down the first three shots. Sighing I looked back ahead and took ahold of my far fuller and taller glass.
"..,at the risk of another death threat...what's wrong?" I asked while glancing out the corner of my eyes towards her, watching as she tended. The woman's fingers wriggled around the shot glass between then before slamming it down and finishing the last five set out before her. Dear lords this woman's going to wasted within the half hour.
"Oi! Barmen! 'Nother round of shots!" She called across with a pained expression presumably from the speed of drinking the strong liquor. Now I know somethings wrong, ah god not more drama. The woman turned to me as the bartender laid out the next set of shots for her.
"...I'm alone going to tell you this because you can't use it against me now, but I...a kriffing hell," Thw woman paused and downed another to shots, gaining my attention as I turned in my seat to face her. "...I had a miscarriage Anakin, Nial and I, we were going to have a baby...a little girl...I was going to call her Kira...but, I was called into action by the council and lost the baby during an accident," She spoke softly while picking up the next of her glasses, proceeding to down it in one gulp once she finished speaking. For the first time in my life I honestly felt sorry for the woman, though outwardly she remained cold there was a pain in her eyes that couldn't be denied.
"...I only found out a week ago when I woke up from a light coma...I never thought I'd care but dear got it felt like something stabbed my saber right through my chest." She added while moving to pick up the next shot, sliding the empty glasses aside and piling them up to form a pyramid.
"Holy force Kaida I'm so sorry..." And there I said something I never thought I would in my life. However how could I be cold after hearing something like that. I may hate the woman but I'm not heartless, certainly not right now.
"Don't pity me Skywalker, just, drink." The woman instructed while reaching behind her row of shots and instead grasping the tall half full bottle they were first poured from. Avoid the problem, typical Kaida, though it would be hypocritical to blame her.
The next couple of hours or so blurred by, countless bottles consumed between the civilised conversation of earlier and the pointless bicker of now. The world was a spinning blur as I lay across one of the leather couches at the back of the bar. There was a collection of scattered glasses and bottled between strewn across the table between me and and the still somehow conscious master opposite.
"...Holy force my stomach hates me." I groaned with my eyes closed laying the back of my arm over my forehead.
"Light weight..." the woman across from me muttered before plonking down yet another empires bottle.
"Inhuman freak." I mumbled in response while tilting my ahead to the side and pulling my hand back through my hair.
"Your just pissed 'cause I beat you."
"That's only because you haven't been able to drink for eight months." I mumbled out without really realising, only when I had wishing I could take back the words. That wasn't fair, I shouldn't bring up that subject even when intoxicated. A heavy silence filled the air between us as the woman opposite pulled a packet of cigarettes from her pocket and lit one. Smelling the smoke in the air I felt my fingers twitch, I'd tried so hard for (y/n)'s sake to give up my addiction but with all the current stresses it'd recently become impossible.
"...the council took my baby,"
Kaida spoke up out the blue while I was lying there fighting the urge not to smoke her words caught my attention and squirting slightly I opened my eyes to look round at her with a frown. She was being completely serious, I could tell that much. Yet her words were beyond confusing...
"I can't prove it, but I know they took my baby from me...heck I don't even know how they found out..." The woman continued to ramble as she sat bar into the leather seat and raised the cigarette to her lips. With her free hand however she reached down to the hem of her top, tugging it up to below her chest and thus revealing a long of stitches carved across her lower stomach. "...they told me it's a shrapnel scar but what's it look like to you?" She asked after exhaling a stream of smoke, eyes crossing down to mine lazily. Struggling a little I shifted up onto my elbows and took a closer look, frowning at the suspicious line.
"...I'm no doctor but that's to near for shrapnel." I finally responded while lying back on my side across the bench and continuing to stare at the scar even as she lowered her top back down. Would the council really do the though, would they really lie to someone and take away a child just to save face. It seemed unlikely even for them, perhaps Kaida was just looking for someone to blame, it would be understandable given what she'd been through.
"You can't trust them Anakin, there's something rotten in the heart of Coruscant and we'd all be wise to try and avoid it." The woman spoke gravely before going back to her smoke. Her words gave me a lot to think about, a lot indeed. Given I currently reported straight to the chancellor I hadn't met with the council since my hearing, perhaps they really were up to more than I thought capable.
Palpatine seemed to believe so, he'd told me on several occasions how he believed the order was up to something behind closed doors. If what Kaida said was true then is it possible they're really not the good guys we think they are, what if they've become corrupt just like the senate.
'What if as the chosen one I was surprised to abolish that corrupt nature?'
"And what if my mother had loved me? For the love of the force Anakin shut up with all the philosophy rubbish or learn to sheiks your thoughts." Kaida lectured in an annoyed fashion while raising a foot and giving me a kick to the shin. Recoiling from sloppy blow I curled up with a groan and made a mental note to learn how to shield my thoughts.
""For the love of - they're over head!" I familiar feminine voice suddenly called across from nearby. Next thing I knew someone was being sat up by kind hands as two other sets of footsteps ran over.
"Holy...how long have you been here?" The unmistakable voice of my master asked from the end of the booth as I struggled to keep my eyes open let alone stay safe up. Managing to open one eye I saw Padmè sat beside with a worried expression and my master stood behind her with a disapproving yet concerned one. Then I noticed another figure stood more to Kaida's side on the booth saying something with a chuckle only to be shoved away by the irritated woman.
"Piss off I'm not in the - Ah hell I'm gonna be sick." She spoke up, moving to hole her stomach with one hand before leaning over to the side and throwing up. A smirk flickered across my lips though seconds later faltered as my stomach churned.
"How uncivilised..." My master risked with a shake of his head as he looked between the pair of us with disappointment. To intoxicated to feel guilty I just gave him a drunken grin.
"Ani you're a mess, here let me help you up and we'll get you home," Padmè spoke kindly with a sigh while wrapping an arm around my shoulders and gently helping me to my feet. Despite towering over her with my tall stature the woman still tried her best to support me. "Trysten are you alright taking Master Starfallen home to your brother, I'm sure he's worried sick."
The kind senator called across to the other man who I now saw was failing to assist the pissed off woman. Evidently from body langue Kaida didn't much like her friendly brother in law. Now there's a family I'd love to go to dinner with.
"Occupationally hazard I'm sure." Obi wan chuckled quietly from the side lines seeming to enjoy the show.
"I'll be fine so long as I survive the trip, and I'll pick up dinner on the way back." Trysten Acaina replied being a kind man unfazed by the adversity of Kaida Starfallen. The man was like his brother, food in every sense of the word - perhaps a tad more teasing and playful but still good right down to the core. Perhaps they pure nature of the Acaina's would one day run of on Kaida, though I doubt it. People like me and her don't change, we simply find someone to complete us as we are.
And my person was (y/n)...wherever she may be...
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Holy wow, somehow got up to 4000 words there, seriously didn't expect that.
Hope you enjoyed this and apologies if the time slip seemed a bit sudden - I was trying to put enthuses on how quickly things change plus didn't have anything else major to add for the last bit. We're iwell into the middle section of this book now and I'm so excited! That next few chapter will be super crucial (well, unless I change the plot around angina) so stay tuned, we've got a little more of this then it's onto Mandolore.