Blinded by Limerence

77 | Noticeable Changes

"Okay, maybe not that teensy weensy of a problem —" 

Addie could sense Morgan was about to exaggerate her condition, make it seem more serious than it actually is, so she quickly continued in rushed sentences, "It's not a big deal — really — er — I've been abusing alcohol since... well, since you last saw me, actually — but it's really no big deal — really," she added hastily after glancing up at Morgan's panicked expression.

It was then that Morgan sensed Addie's hesitance to talk about her drinking problem; it's undoubtedly a sensitive issue. She couldn't deny that it hurt a bit, her best friend being unable to share this huge part of her life with her, but then again, she has absolutely no right to feel that way. Addie owes her nothing.

No matter how much she wanted to deny that her leaving changed things, it did. When she left, she had unintentionally shifted friendship and relationship dynamics accordingly. How she wished her leaving had just placed a huge pause button on time and life and everything else in between —

But it didn't. Life went on, just like her life went on with Nicky.

It suddenly occurred to her to ask: "Have you been going to AA meetings?" 

She felt that her question wasn't too invasive but would simultaneously reveal some information to her about Addie's condition — it was the perfect balance.

"Yeah, twice a week," she answered promptly.

There was a short moment of pure silence, save for the crackling of the fire in front of them. Then —

"But you've been good?" inquired Morgan with knitted eyebrows. 

She knew Addie would never admit it, but Morgan was sure her leaving played a role in Addie's substance abuse. She never felt worse, never felt more selfish than she did in that moment as her best friend stared longingly at something invisible to the eye.

That's what Morgan had noticed earlier — the disappearance of the usual gleam in Addie's eyes, the twinkle that used to reside there.

She stole Addie's spunk.

Addie seemed to think about this for a while, fully contemplating the hidden depth of Morgan's question, but after a minute or two, Addie nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah... Things haven't always been easy since you left, but... I'm a fighter — you know that."

"You don't give up," Morgan added with a soft smile that Addie soon mirrored.

"I most certainly do not."

"Hey, I've missed this," said Morgan, apropos of nothing, hoping to lighten up the conversation.

She beckoned Nick over, and the boy excitedly ran over to his mom, plopping himself down on the seat between the pair of best friends. 

"Nicky, I haven't properly introduced you two. This is Addie —" she looked at the girl with the sincerest look she could muster then smiled from ear to ear "— my best friend, the one who's stuck with me through thick and thin... even though I haven't been able to do the same."

"Hiya, Aunt Addie," said Nick, grinning as he extended his right arm, his little fingers waiting to be met with Addie's longer ones.

"Aunt Addie?" she echoed, unable to hide her amusement. Adorned with a smile that quickly reached her eyes, she said, "I like it. It has a certain ring to it." She took Nick's hand in hers and gave it a strong shake. 

"Is that so, Aunt Addie?" remarked Morgan, wiggling her eyebrows teasingly.

In response to Morgan's playfulness, Addie pushed Morgan, to the point that the latter almost lost her balance and toppled off the couch — almost. 

Addie laughed, shaking her head. "Not from you, you idiot."

Nick had only known Addie for a few minutes, but judging by the way his mother acted around the mysterious woman, he knew for a fact that she wasn't lying — this woman really is her best friend. He didn't know why, but that filled him with a bubbly feeling in the pit of his stomach. He quickly found himself laughing alongside the pair.

"Hey — er — how're my parents?" Morgan asked abruptly. 

"Oh, Mr. and Mrs. Darhk?" said Addie, tilting her head curiously to the right. "They're fine. I mean, yeah, at first they were freaking the fuck out, of course — like all of us — but when it started becoming apparent to us that you weren't coming back, Mr. Darhk figured that you knew what you were doing, and — and well, he trusted you."

"So — so you're saying that they stopped looking?" Even though Morgan knew it was completely her fault, and she had no right whatsoever to feel the way she did, she couldn't help it — she was a little hurt.

"Well, yeah, I guess. That doesn't mean they didn't stop holding out hope, though. Speaking of..." The brunette trailed off, hastily fishing her phone out of her purse on the coffee table. 

Morgan was quick to put her hand above the other's. She smiled sheepishly before saying, "Don't, A. I'm — I'm not ready."

At that, Addie flashed her one of her infamous looks of judgment — even Morgan had to admit that it's been a while, and she's missed it, to a certain extent. 

"M, don't be like this," she said, clearly trying her best not to sound too contemptuous. "You have no idea what Mr. and Mrs. Darhk went through — and still are going through — don't you think they deserve to know —"

"A, I promise I'll hit them up — when I'm ready," Morgan said, proud of herself for remaining calm. 

Yes, in many ways, she's still the same fucked-up 17-year-old she was all those years ago, but the old her would've shut Addie out and allowed this to escalate to yet another argument with her best friend. 

Addie, however, didn't seem impressed nor did she seem too convinced. "I'm just sayin'," she muttered disdainfully. When she thought Morgan wasn't looking, she rolled her eyes — but Morgan saw, and she understood.

"So, how was Stanford?"

Morgan hoped the random question would allow them to segue out of the almost-argument — and thankfully, her wish came true.

Addie's ears perked up at the inquiry, and her face lit up so bright, it could've powered an entire neighborhood. "Oh, it was wonderful, M!" she beamed, a stark contrast to the somber mood. 

"Did you experiment with lesbianism like I predicted?" Morgan snickered.

The brunette rolled her eyes again but this time, playfully (Morgan let out a sigh of relief). She hastily clapped her hands to Nick's ears, which seemed incredibly weird and random to Morgan, until Addie whispered, as an extra preventative measure, "Well, after I got bored of doing every guy in the vicinity, sure I did."

Morgan then understood why Addie did what she did, and she laughed alongside her best friend, shaking her head at the crude joke — or perhaps it wasn't even a joke.

As soon as their laugher died down a bit, Addie asked, "You — er — wanna grab a cup of coffee?"

"Yes, please. Where?"

Addie thought back to earlier that day, about her friends' invitation to hang out, and a lightbulb went off in her head. "What about The Brew? You haven't been there in ages. I think you'll be pleased to find some... noticeable changes." 

Morgan suspected that her best friend was up to something, judging by the way her face lit up when she mentioned The Brew, but she wanted to keep talking, keep catching up with the girl, so she nodded, ignoring the side of her that was suspicious of Addie. So she, Addie, and Nick left the house, walked down the block, and made their way to the long-forgotten coffee shop.