Blinded by Limerence

31 | Set My Heart Ablaze

Trevor

"Mmm..."

I stirred, awoken by the subtle night breeze that blew my hair into my previously shut eyes. Rolling over in bed, I saw that the wind had come from my open bedroom window. Nighttime had dawned on us, the sky outside painted a dark shade of blue that was close to black, the moon shining brightly over the starlit sky, providing the only source of light for my otherwise dimly-lit bedroom. 

It was peaceful, but what really made it so was the beautiful woman lying asleep beside me.

I switched my sleepy gaze from the serene scenery outside to Morgan. Her soft hair fell across her porcelain skin, and her red, swollen lips parted slightly as she snuggled further into the sheets. Subconsciously, she stirred and smiled a bit then returned to her slumber. 

She looked so innocent asleep, a stark contrast to how she was just a few hours before, needily calling out my name and eliciting all sorts of lewd sounds that made my skin crawl in excitement. 

I had to pause my thoughts for a minute because it was getting difficult to keep my feelings at bay. She was just so breathtaking.

Running my fingers down her cold face, I tenderly cupped her right cheek, and still asleep, she leaned into the touch. "Are you alright?" I whispered, earning a quiet hum from the girl. Did she hear me?

As I stared at her sleeping figure, I couldn't hold back the grin that threatened to break out. I had just slept with the woman I love, I thought as I smiled sheepishly at Morgan. 

"I love you," I said softly. "I love you so damn much, Morgan. I don't know what you did to me, but I'm not the same person you met all those months back." A sigh slipped past my lips before I muttered, "Do... Do you even know what kind of effect you have on me?"

I couldn't tell you how it happened even if I wanted to, honestly. One day, I just found myself thinking about the girl, and soon enough, she dominated my thoughts. Without her knowing it, she had managed to burrow into the depths of my heart and set it ablaze.

I've fallen for Morgan Darhk, and I was falling fast. 

I didn't know if she heard me; for all I know, I was just talking to myself. Somewhere deep within me, though, I wished she heard my confession. Although saying those three little words—the simple act of admitting—felt incredibly freeing, I still craved more. I craved her response, her hugs and kisses, and above all, her love. 

I long for the day she would say those three little words back—if she would ever say them back.

...but I know I wouldn't be getting any of that. Us sleeping together is a one time thing, no strings attached, and it probably meant more to me than it did to her. So, I have to remain content with having her even just for tonight, and with that, I drifted back to sleep.

|

A few hours had passed before I was awoken yet again. The wind played no role this time, however. Half awake, I tiredly looked around the dark room and found a figure standing idly by the open window. 

The cream-colored curtains fluttered from the impact of the cool night breeze, and she stood there, her bare back facing me, as she clutched the blanket over her body. She was looking out the window, captivated, though I don't know by what—perhaps the cloudless night sky? Her disheveled honey blonde hair moved with the gentle breeze, and she looked over her shoulder to look at me when she heard the sheets rumpling behind her. 

Fuck, was she beautiful, I thought to myself, biting down on my bottom lip to hold back the smile that threatened to break out. 

"You're up," Morgan whispered, watching me through skittish eyes. Her grip tightened on the sheet that covered her. 

"Yeah," I replied in a low voice as I sat up, making sure that the remaining sheets on the bed covered any exposed part of myself. 

Silence fell over the both of us, she eyeing me carefully and me searching her face for any hint of emotion. 

Mustering up the courage to ask the one thing that's been rattling around in my mind for the last few hours, I let out a heavy sigh. She looked over at me then, as if she was anticipating the question. 

"Morgan?" I began hesitantly. Being naked right now suddenly made me feel small and vulnerable—something I didn't feel too often. I've been in this situation plenty of times before, but at the same time, I haven't been in a situation like this ever. The roles were usually reversed. I swallowed hard. "Do you, um... Do you have any regrets?"

My heart pounded rapidly against my bare chest, nervous at her response. Though deep down, I already knew the answer, I couldn't help but ask, just in case she had a different answer for me, one that didn't shatter my heart into a million pieces.

She sat down on the windowsill, her hands curled up into fists as she held onto the blanket securely. "About what?" she asked, her voice gentle.

I noticed how her gaze wasn't focused on me but rather on the sheets of my bed. I followed her gaze and saw that she was looking at this one spot of blood on the otherwise white sheets, then I knew.

I had just taken her virginity.

That's when she smiled at me, and I saw it—I saw the regret in her smile.

She started to pick up her discarded clothes from the bedroom floor, her footsteps light and timid. Slowly, she dressed herself.

"Leaving?" I asked, simply because I couldn't stand the newfound tension.

"Yeah," she answered briefly, her voice feeble and seemingly about to break.

Shoes in hand, she stood by the door, ready to leave. As she flashed me one last smile, the moonlight highlighted her comely features, every sharp angle I'll never get tired of seeing, and outlined her glassy eyes—which was the first time I noticed them tonight. "I'll see you around, Parks," said Morgan quietly. 

"How come it feels like this is goodbye?" I asked before I could stop myself, though I wasn't really sure if I wanted to know the answer.

We locked eyes then, and her soft lips stretched into a smile that didn't quite reach her hooded eyes. They were lit with sadness, and the forced expression broke my heart. I didn't want her to leave. I didn't want to turn into some random souvenir that floated around in the pool of her memories. I didn't want to be the mental image that squeezed her chest in agony someday, somewhere far away. I didn't want her to go: I wanted her and her less-than-sincere smile to stay.

"That's because it is."

She left my bedroom that night in tears.