Blinded by Limerence

56 | Just a Thought

Morgan

"You're doing what now?!"

Addie's shrill voice rang through my ears, and I instinctively leaned away from the girl to check whether or not I'd gone deaf.

Disapproval etched all over her face, Addie rolled her eyes at me as we continued to walk through the college fair booths, passing students representing their respective schools, calling out to potential freshmen in September.

"It was just a thought, okay?" I said softly. "That doesn't mean I'm actually going to go through with it."

"M, this is no joking matter," said Addie, eyeing me up and down as though checking me for signs of a brain tumor. "College—college is essential to finding success in life! I mean, I know we joke about my being lax and laidback and whatever when it comes to my future, but we're just—joking around—there's no way I'd actually skip college—and there's no way I'm letting you skip college!"

"I'm not going to skip college!" I said, raising my hands defensively. "I swear! It was just a thought, okay?"

"A thought you're considering," she mumbled under her breath. "Why're you even thinking about it?"

I jutted my bottom lip out. "You're going to laugh."

"M, I won't. Trust me, okay?"

I let out a sigh, slightly skeptical at Addie's words. "It's just—I can't do the whole studying thing anymore. After what happened with Co— I mean, Mr. Donavan... I just can't seem to concentrate on my studies anymore—and it's not just physics, too; it's everything."

Addie, very obviously stifling a laugh, shook her head. "It's not like it's going to be like that forever."

I shot her the most earnest look I could muster to show her just how serious I was being, and Addie didn't say anything else. Walking a little slower now, we proceeded through the fair in silence, neither of us knowing what to say but not minding. Then, from behind us, we heard Addie's name being called.

"Addie!"

Addie and I simultaneously whirled around. It was Archer.

"Heya, Arch," Addie said, smiling. She leaned in to peck his cheek. "How were the holidays with dad?"

Archer, knowing it'd rile Addie up, said with a playful shrug, "Better than holidays with mom so—" 

At that moment, Archer's lazy gaze switched from Addie to me, and caught off guard (mainly because I was excited to see Addie beat Archer up), I flashed him an awkward, tight-lipped smile.

From behind Archer, two tall figures walked up—Trevor and Chase—and I felt my stomach clench with stress, my insides churning. Here we go again—

"How're college plans going?" asked Chase with a friendly smile.

Addie gave me a look and elbowed me, but she took the fall and answered Chase's inquiry, anyway. "Columbia's sounding pretty good to me—oh, and so does Stanford."

"Interesting choice," Trevor said, grinning, now joining the conversation. "I think I'm going UPENN or NYU."

I froze, the cogs of my mind turning at a rapid pace—then—

"Law?"

Green eyes twinkling, Trevor turned to face me to address my question, and, slightly pink, I immediately felt myself shrink under his steady gaze.

"Yeah," he answered sheepishly.

I crossed my arms over my chest, as if to shield me from the uncertainty I felt with Trevor, and rubbed my elbows nervously. "Why is that?" I asked quietly. "I—I thought you weren't serious about your studies—"

All at once, Addie's eyes widened at my blunt words, and she nudged my ribcage quite painfully. "Morgan!" she hissed under her breath, prompting Trevor to shake his head and smile.

"No, it's okay," he said. "If I'm being honest, Morgan..." Cheeks dusted in a light shade of pink, he cleared his throat and looked away, a strange look on his face, one I've never seen before. He lowered his voice. "You—you inspired me to change, is all."

My heart sank into my chest and stopped beating momentarily. 

"Your tutoring me, I mean," Trevor quickly added. "Er, thank you for that... again."

I breathed in a deep breath and flashed him a weary smile. "It's nothing," I answered softly, "but there are so much other things out there. Why law—?"

Trevor dropped his voice, and I had the impression that what he said next was only meant to be heard by me. "For my dad," he said briefly. His words were few in number, but they said a million things.

His dad, who's wrongfully imprisoned—I remember him telling me about him the first time we had a proper conversation, months ago, back at The Brew.

Of course, I thought to myself. He wants to make a difference in people's lives, to be a part of a legal system that actually cares about justice for a change.

I couldn't muster up the courage to say what I wanted to say because his dad's a touchy subject, so instead, I slowly nodded, giving him a small smile—a smile that would've said, That's mighty big of you, and I'm proud of you.

"Geez, you could cut the tension in here with a knife," huffed Addie histrionically, waving a hand around, before a silence could settle over the five of us. "Let's go check out those other booths."

Uncertain of who Addie was referring to when she said that, Archer and Chase exchanged looks, shrugged, and followed the girl to check out more college brochures, leaving me and Trevor behind.

Awkwardly, Trevor jerked his thumb in the direction of the three. "Um, I better—"

"No!" I shrieked, impulsively grabbing his wrist. 

There was no time to process what I had just done or why I had done it; Trevor eyed my hand touching him and went scarlet. At once, I pulled hand back to my side, slightly regretting the action. 

"Er—I mean—it's alright. We could—uh—just check out the other booths together. Think we could do that?"

He was quiet for a bit, as though actually thinking it over, then, he smiled, his green eyes shining in the afternoon sun. "Yeah."

As Trevor and I threaded our way through the throng of other high schoolers who were walking hither and thither (I shot him disapproving looks when he'd rudely elbow those who blocked our way), I noticed the way Trevor's eyes would flicker over to some of the booths lining the quadrangle as though actually expressing interest.

"So, law school, huh?"

"Yeah," he replied shortly, "assuming I get in to one, of course."

I flashed him a warm smile, careful not to touch his arm or any other part of him, to let him know that I actually and genuinely believe in him. "You will," I said fervently. "I know you will."

Sensing the sincerity of my words, he nodded. "Well, what about you?"

I shook my head and chuckled. "Could we not talk about it please?"

I don't know what Trevor had expected, but it was evident by the look on his face that whatever it was, it hadn't been this; he curiously tilted his head to the right. "Oh?"

"Yeah, I just—I just want to take a break from it all—future-planning and the like."

He nodded slowly as if the idea was making sense to him, then a wan smile graced his features. "What a mood," he said cheekily.

I laughed softly before Trevor abruptly stopped in his tracks. I spun around, the expression on my face wordlessly asking for an explanation.

"You, uh," he ventured unsurely as he rubbed the nape of his neck, "wanna get out of here?"

At this point, nothing sounded better than that.

I wished I could voice my thoughts, tell him that amazingly, despite everything we'd been through, I was glad he could still read me better than anyone else could—but I was weak, and my mouth turned as dry as a desert every time I opened my mouth.

Before I even knew it, a broad grin had made its way to my face, and I nodded enthusiastically.