I LOVE IT WHEN WE PLAY 1950 (L.S)

How to Save a Life

LOUIS POV.

Liam and I are sitting in the uncomfortable seats of the hospital waiting room. Harry punched a wall and thought he broke something in his wrist. He asked Liam to come with him to get it checked, just to be sure.

Liam decided to bring me so we could chat. To be fair I needed some advice, and I could tell he wanted me to listen to what he had to say.

Harry was called by the doctor a couple minutes ago so I knew any second now Liam would break the awkward silence between us.

We needed to have a serious chat, and it probably didn't help that I was still slightly tipsy.

''I don't want to patronise you Lou'' Liam begins, not looking at me, but at the floor tile ahead. ''I don't want to belittle you, make you feel like your actions make you a bad person, because you aren't, but why haven't you just called Eleanor to break up?'' At the end of his mini speech, he turns to me, looking into my eyes for any internal answer before I gave my verbal one.

I look down then back up at Liam. I couldn't act like the victim here, not anymore, I won't sink myself into a pit of pity.

''I guess I wanted to hold on to the life I once had.'' I gulp. ''Liam I was so scared to come here, for many reasons, the main one was that I was scared to lose the once perfect life I had. I was content, I was happy, I enjoyed waking up late mornings and rolling over to an empty bed knowing Eleanor was making breakfast downstairs. It was all I had after the band, and I didn't want to let that go, I'd have nothing'' I admit, I knew that as soon as I saw the boys again, I would have to be honest, we could never hold secrets from each other very well. We had grown up together, knew each other inside and out.

''Louis that life you had isn't what makes you'' Liam starts but I butt in.

''In all honesty Payno, I don't need a talk about how I'll grow and meet new people, make new memories, blablablaaaa'' I roll my eyes. Liam just chuckles.

''If you let me finish, you'd find I wasn't hinting that way.'' He starts. ''Louis lets be completely honest, El was your beard for so many years of the band, you knew each other well, she was there though every single one of you and Harrys fights and make-ups, but she was head over heels in love with you at the time. Anyone could have seen it, so no wonder you two got together when you cut us off, she was the only one who knew how to heel you and love you, and you were vulnerable and easy to accept love. Were you really that content in life? Or did you feel like that was your only option?'' Liam finished; he wasn't asking a question. He wasn't expecting me to answer. He wanted me to think. Make me realise that maybe, just maybe, I wasn't as content as I once thought.

I nod letting him know I understood what he wanted me to think about.

''Harry was being blackmailed by Jeff'' I state.

''What?''

''Jeff wanted Harry to get in on the secret for Eleanor leaving me but refused and unfriended Jeff, he wanted to warn me and tell me but Jeff said I'd only blame Harry and wouldn't believe him anyway'' I mutter.

''He was trying to look out for you. He lost his only closest friend to protect you'' Liam said slowly, trying to fit in the puzzle pieces.

''Why would he do that, and yet be so horrible'' I question, mainly just for myself.

''He still cares so much about you Lou, and I can never understand how you don't see it, even in the band, before you were an item, you could never see his adoration for you'' Liam smiled, and I did too.

''I remember when Harry was a blabbering mess telling me he liked me, he cried. Oh, Liam he was so much smaller and innocent, just turned 17 with those big green eyes, and hands which were too large for his body because he hadn't grown into them yet'' I smile and look down. ''He rambled about how sorry he was, and I kept asking why he was sorry, and he wouldn't tell me, and he just broke down in front of me. He fell at my feet and just babbled Liam and I didn't know what to do so I just sat on the floor, picked him up in my lap and rocked him till he stopped crying. Once he stopped, he just looked up at me which these shiny eyes, full of hopefulness, and he just spilled his heart out. He told me he thought he was gay, and he was attracted to me, but it meant so much to him, he loved me, and my heart never beat so fast, all I could do was nod, cry too, smile and kiss him. We just kissed curled up on the floor of a random hotel room. And now look at him. Look at the marvellous man he's become, so gorgeous and intelligent, his hands are still too large for him but its endearing, His hair reminds me of the same curls he carried at the beginning of our relationship. He's built a life for himself, a legacy, he may look cold and harsh when he speaks to me, but I can see through it, I can see he's trying not to just let his guard down. He's so strong, and confident, the most confident shy person I know. He still holds his sleeves in his hands when he speaks in the studio because he's still that shy self-conscious boy I met ten years ago, and it honestly fucks with my head.'' I exhale. I admitted too much then I intended to.