S U R R E N D E R

Life Goes On

"I read your letter many many times" Lisa said and pulled out the still neatly folded paper that had been given to her by her two best friends when Jennie left Seoul. "I read about Evelyn, it was true" Lisa laughed and looked down for a moment as she remembered that day, a day that she wasn't going to talk about in detail while standing out in the cold the first minutes after seeing Jennie again. "I'm sorry for that, I thought you had to know," Jennie apologized and felt her mood drop when they started talking about Evelyn again, Lisa now looking at her again with a faint smile on her lips. "Whether you had told me or not I was going to cancel it anyway," Lisa pointed out and let out a small laughter while thinking that she almost got married to someone that had been fooling her twice as much this whole time.

"I know this is too much to ask and you might not even want me in your life anymore but..." Lisa stopped and thought about what she was going to say next, standing in front of Jennie and actually talking to her was twice as hard as making up this whole conversation in her head, at least there she was not scared of something going wrong. But this was the real deal, this was the scary part. "I can't spend a minute of the day without thinking how you're doing and... I've said I love you so many times to you in my head that I think I'm going crazy," Lisa laughed and suddenly felt another body colliding with hers, both of them being knocked down and onto the lawn in the front of the house. "Jesus," Lisa laughed and opened her eyes again only to see Jennie looking right back at her, her eyes even redder now that she has started crying.

"Don't talk please, just shut your mouth and let me have this, okay?" Jennie laughed and the tears that rolled down her cheeks now started falling on the thin shirt that Lisa was wearing. "Okay, I'll do that,"

"Hey Ms Kim," James' voice reached her ears, Jennie's flashback finding an end as the picture in front of her started to fade, Lily's and James' faces coming into focus now . "I am happy to see you again even under these circumstances," The young man said and looked at everyone now, his last stare falling on Lily who was already looking at him with a sad smile on her face remembering what day it was. It was hard to accept it, at least the first year of that happening. She was so used to seeing everyone at the table but since the year that passed they were on person short and that was her mom, her mommy as she liked to call her even as she grew older and older. Cancer is one tough thing to completely go through, she had heard how hard things were once and how her aunts liked to call her a miracle baby because that's what she pretty much was for them. "I am glad to see you here too, how about you go settle down and I will be back in a minute," Jennie smiled and let go of Jisoo, her eyes seeing all of them walk in the living room while she walked the opposite way.

She could feel her chest getting heavy, she could feel that with every step she took her heart was giving up on her maybe because her body knew exactly where she was heading to, she knew that as soon as she opened the door her heart would completely shutter one more time. Pushing the door open she felt a sad smile that resembled Lily's appear on her lips, the bedroom she had locked for the most of the year now opening up again. "Lils," Jennie sighed and closed the door behind her, the old woman sitting on the edge of the bed while taking a frame in her hands now, studying all over again Lisa's face that was staying young through that picture. "Hi, again" Jennie said and she could feel her eyes watering now, her heart beating slowly as her hands started to shake a little bit. "It's that time again, where it is you and I alone. I, I miss you, you know. Things are getting harder the longer you're gone. They told me that the more time passes the easier it will get for me," Jennie sighed again and her thumb brushed over the glass frame again and again, the  tears she had been holding in for another year now starting to roll down her cheeks. 

"So, that was a fucking lie. I miss you more, but I don't blame you anymore." Jennie admitted, her hand reaching up to wipe the tears that were making her vision blurry now. "I told you once that if you die on me, I will die too, remember?" Jennie asked even though she knew she was not getting an answer out of Lisa or the picture she was holding. "Well, I can't do that anymore. I don't want to anymore, not because I don't miss you or want to be with you. But, Lily, I have Lily and..." Jennie choked, the words were not leaving her mouth anymore as her grip onto the frame got tighter and tighter now until she threw it away and heard it smash after hitting the wall opposite from her and falling to them ground. "She is just like you! She reminds me of you and I forget, I forget you are not here, I forget that you will not just open the door and walk in the house! I forget because I am getting older and everything starts to fade Lisa!" Jennie lost it, her voice was definitely heard in the entire house, maybe that is why the door opened, Jisoo walking in before she closed it again.