S U R R E N D E R

chapter sixty four

The past few weeks had been a huge rollercoaster of emotions for Lisa. She still had trouble wrapping her mind around the fact that she was actually married to Jennie now. She was still suffering from her throat infection and for that she solely blamed her own self and no one else. Lisa knew very well that Jennie was putting all the fault on her own shoulders for allowing her to go out and about but it's not like she could have done anything different unless she wanted to cause another fight between them. She was glad for one thing, that she didn't get to stay in the hospital during the Christmas time, if that infection would have happened any time later on she would blame herself for ruining Christmas as well. Being married and in the hospital was not at all how she would want to envision at all and it was understandable.

After the wedding took place Lisa focused entirely on getting better, her system was not at its best and it took her twice the time if not more to get over a simple cold that could be the cause of her death if she wasn't lucky. As much as she hated to admit being sick she had to because she needed to take better care of herself. After seeing how concerned and scared Jennie was that day she couldn't think twice of doing the same mistake again and bring reckless with her health. She couldn't afford losing her or having something to happen to herself again after that. Even though she wanted to show this tough image to protect Jennie from the pain that she herself was feeling, she had to put a stop and prevent her stubbornness from causing a bigger pain to her wife.

And she did, she put aside every small aspect of her ego and swore to tell her everything. Every time she didn't feel like getting out of bed, every small thing that ached in her body, every thought that tortured her inside out. She couldn't risk stopping the treatment and starting all over again. She didn't feel like starting over because of something small like a cold and she made sure she wouldn't have to. She made sure to be careful until all of this was over in the end. The holidays had started, a happy time in all people's lives but for some reason Lisa couldn't stop thinking that she would somehow ruin it for everyone. No matter how many times she expressed that concern to her wife Jennie kept saying that she didn't care that much, that Christmas was never really her thing anyway.

In all that big mess of a situation her oncologist let them know that the infection was partially gone and Lisa had never been more excited than she was the day that she went back for another chemo session. It was a bummer though that her last visit to the hospital fell only a few days before the New Year's Eve which meant that she wouldn't be in no state at all to go out and celebrate. Taking a deep breath Lisa opened her eyes lazily, that last thought playing over and over in her head her eyes immediately falling on Jennie who happened to be only a few steps away from her checking something on her phone or maybe... Calling someone that didn't seem to pick up. "Hey, how are you?" Jennie asked after approaching her a little, standing close to the couch Lisa had been going in and out of sleep on. "Not that amazing," the older woman truthfully said and turned on her side so she would face Jennie completely.

Taking advantage of the little space behind Lisa, Jennie climbed up on the couch and layed down so she would spoon her. "Do you need something? Are you hungry maybe?" Jennie whispered in her ear and lightly kissed the side of Lisa's temple, the older woman shaking her head instantly. "No, I  have all I need here with me," She answered with a little smile and looked over her shoulder so she could catch a glimpse of Jennie's eyes looking back at her. "I'm sorry though, I know I'll be a mess for New Year's," Lisa added and the smile that she previously had faded away little by little. Tightening her arms around Lisa's slim body, she buried her head in the neck and stayed there for a moment, taking in the perfume that Lisa was wearing. "Don't worry about that, I have all I need here as well," Jennie responded, her words warming Lisa's heart immediately and causing the smile to form on her lips again.