A Pearl and a Secret

14.

I didn't really know where to go or what to do, but I found myself at the bus stop and surprisingly, a bus that would take me to Automn's house was coming in less than 10 minutes. The only thing I knew I wanted to do was to see her. I dialed her number and crossed my fingers, hoping she'd answer quickly.

She picked up on the first ring. "Alden? You okay? What happened?" she asked hurriedly. "Yeah, I'm okay, don't worry," I assured her. "Can I come see you?" I wondered.

"Yeah come over," she answered without skipping a beat.

"Thank you. I'll be there in 10," I told her. I hung up and the bus stopped right then to pick me up. A few minutes later, I got off and walked to Automn's familiar house.

I climbed the steps two-by-two and rang the doorbell. The door was opened by a middle-aged woman who resembled Automn and Grace - their mother I supposed. She was short-ish, with darker hair than her daughters but the same hazel eyes.

She gasped, realizing who I was. "Hi Alden, it's so good to finally meet you, come in!" she said warmly.  I smiled genuinely and regretted that I didn't know her name.  "Automn! Alden's here," she called. "I'm Alice, by the way," she informed me. 

The inside of the house was exactly what I had imagined it to be; neat, homey and warm-toned.  "Your home is beautiful," I complimented, trying to make conversation.  It would be awful if her parents didn't like me. 

A tall brown haired man - her dad - appeared almost out of nowhere. "You must be the infamous Alden, I'm Daniel," he introduced himself and reached out for a firm handshake.  I greeted him casually. 

"So, what are you up to today," he asked while we were waiting for Automn.  I didn't know what was taking her so long.  "Homework...stuff like that," I lied.  Certainly not trying to find out why my parents gave my brother up for adoption and omitted to tell me.

Before we had to find other topics of conversation, a small figure came into view from where Automn's dad had earlier appeared.  "Oh hi Grace, how's it going?" I asked her.

She stayed quiet for a second, and I thought she hadn't heard me.  "Hi Alden!" she blurted out and looked in my direction.  "Where's Tammy?" she asked her dad.  I smiled at the nickname used for Automn. 

Grace's question was answered when we heard Automn storming down the stairs.  "Sorry that was so long, I was changing," she apologized.  She gestured for me to come upstairs with her.  We had taken three steps when I heard her mom add, "No closed doors up there, please."

I chuckled at how mortified Automn looked.  "Yes, mom," she promised and rolled her eyes.  We got to the hallway and while leading me to her room, she apologized again, "Sorry I left you with my parents for so long, they didn't embarrass me I hope?"

I assured her it was fine and she opened the door to her room.  It was a small-ish white bedroom with fairy lights, paintings and fake plants.  "Wow," I said while taking in the extra details. 

She sat on her bed and I slumped down on the comfy looking bean bag beside her.  "So, you went to see your parents? What happened?" She wrapped herself in the burgundy blanket that was sitting on her bed and gazed at me, waiting for me to spill.

"My mother claims they didn't have the money or resources to raise Benji the way he deserved, that's why they put him up for adoption," I retold what my mom and dad had so graciously explained to me. 

She processed this first piece of information before asking, "Do you believe her?"

"Yeah, I guess, it's just...if I had been in my parents' place, I would've done anything for my child, even though he's not neurotypical.  I never would've given up on Benji and I don't know how I'm ever going to forgive them," I ranted.  It felt so good to talk about this, like getting a huge weight off my shoulders.

"That's okay, you don't have to think about that right now.  They kept something really important to you from you and you're allowed to feel anything.  And you're allowed to change your mind, forgive them if you want, never talk to them again, it's up to you," she said and it made me feel so much better.  How did I get so lucky with this girl?

She smiled tenderly.  "You're going to be a really good father, you know?" she added.  That meant a lot to me, I never wanted to be like my own father. 

"I'm going to try.  I don't want to end up like my father, abandoning my own children or not having the guts to end a relationship that's hurting them," I revealed.  On Automn and I's first date, I said my biggest fear was never finding love. But now that I'd found it, I realized my biggest fear was to end up like my father.

"Alden, look at me," she ordered and I met her warm brown eyes. "You are never going to end up like him. I know you're not convinced, and I know you're scared you might, but I know for sure you are not your father," she said, dead serious. The sincere and determined look in her eyes forced me to believe her.

I stood up and approached her. I lifted her chin and took a moment to contemplate her face. Then I closed the distance between us and crashed my lips against hers in a kiss full of passion, and need. Butterflies rippled through my stomach. The tension in te bedroom grew and my pants grew tighter. I knew my eyes were clouded with desire and when I looked at Automn, hers were the same.

But I knew we'd have to wait, we couldn't take it too far in the bedroom above her parents and sister. She broke the kiss, probably thinking the same thing I was. I groaned, another day I'd have to take a long, cold shower.

I flopped on the bed beside her. She replaced her tousled hair and started talking about something. I wasn't listening, I was too concentrated thinking about what would've happened if we weren't in a bedroom above her family. "Stop looking at me like that," she said shyly.

I hadn't realized I was staring at her with all the dirty thoughts going through my head. I leaned in really close and whispered against her ear, "Like what?"

I saw her visibly shiver. "Like you want to eat me!" she exclaimed. I looked her straight in the eye. "Oh trust me, I do," I said, my voice husky with desire.

Her face reddened to a deep scarlet and I chuckled. She shoved me playfully. "Stop, we need to talk about something else or I'm going to do something I'm going to regret," she half-joked.

She was right. I really needed to get these filthy thoughts out of my head. "I want to meet Benji and his family, do you know where they live?" I asked, completely changing the mood and the subject.

"Yeah they live a couple blocks away, his parents are super sweet, I've talked to them before at the school," she told me while pushing a strand of hair away from her face.

"Can we go see them right now?" I inquired. She raised her eyebrows and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"