Konosuba: God's Blessing of the God of War

Chapter 27: The Gods Send Their Warrior, How to Lay a Dragon

"" speaking
'' thinking
(A/N) author's notes
** change in setting/pov
[] reading
Blah blah blah spell casting

_______________________________________________________________________________________

*mansion*

*1st pov*

It's been a few days since I died from breaking my neck and a few of the girls have been keeping me from leaving the mansion after having heard that I died again. A few of their attempts have gotten a little more perverse than their others. I literally had to fight a few of them back with a stick just to go to the bathroom, and even then I had to keep an eye on the door because Centorea would try to kick down the door. Or if it wasn't her, Suu would slip under the door and merge with my bath water and nearly drown me trying to bath me. If I try to start a fire, Esdeath puts it out while nearly freezing me into a popsicle. I can't hide because Minerva, Koneko, Himari, and Kuroka could smell me out, I can't sleep alone, but that was already a given. You'd think I would enjoy the constant attention, but right now I just feel like a man sized baby. Cathyl even tried to get me to breast feed! Though I feel that was more of her trying to seduce me rather than baby me, or is it both? Even Shion has been setting up shifts for some of the  girls to watch over me. 

Lizlet: *kindly* Would you like another piece of toad meat sir?

(Y): *upset* Yes please.

I can't even eat without someone literally spoon feeding me. And I literally mean with a spoon, they're afraid I'll be stabbed by the fork. 

(Y): *stern* You know.........If I remember correctly, I was the one who took down two demon generals, a chimera, spaghetti demons, and actually got two dungeon guarding monster girls to fall for me. So could I possibly have a little more trust in own safety?

Aqua: *stern* You're also the one who died by a snow samurai-

Darkness: *stern* Got possessed by a demon general-

Megumin: *stern* Died from falling out of tree-

Miia: *stern* Got tricked into going into a town filled with horny snake women-

Wiz: *stern* Nearly got executed by a crazy duke-

Sena: *stern* Nearly got executed by another less crazy duke-

Esdeath: *stern* Nearly got crushed by an iceberg-

(Y): *upset* That was your doing!

Koneko: *stern* Nearly got blown up by a giant mechanical spider-

Morrigan: *stern* Got beaten up by your own girlfriends-

All the girls: *stern* And we're not going to let you get hurt again!

Aqua: *stern* Until that warrior you said the gods were sending arrives, you are not even leaving our sights.

(Y): *blunt* I don't think that was even a possibility before hand.

Himari: *stern* (Y/N), you may be an amazing adventurer, but you're still mortal. We love you and we don't want to lose you. What would happen if you died one day and none of us knew where you were?

Mio: *worried* Like when you worked with us to kill the Chimera. We had no idea you had a priest friend so we probably wouldn't have done anything besides give you a burial.

Chisato: *stern* So please understand that we are just looking out for you. I'm sure whoever the gods are sending will come soon.

(Y): *annoyed* It's been 2 weeks and I haven't heard anything from the gods since, most likely because I haven't had the chance to even stub my toes!