Chapter five

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I felt nothing for the past few more days. Xavier didn't hit me, but he threw really nasty insults at me enough to make me cry in the girls bathroom. He used my dad's death.

It's Saturday and I heard there was going to be a dance next week Friday. Yay! I'm so excited! Note the sarcasm. I groaned plopping myself on my bed at the thought of having a date for the dance. I mean I would go with some one...but I'd rather stay home and eat food.

Hours past in this boring Saturday, but I had a weary feeling. Like something bad was going to happen. I walked to the kitchen and decided to make food. Pancakes, bacon, all kinds of food for me. I grinned at that thought. My house being peaceful but empty. My stomach dropped, either to being hungry or still, having that weary feeling.

Moments passed of me eating alone, I hear a car pull up but it could be the neighbors. I wonder what it would be like if I lived somewhere else? Oh wait, like this. But I wonder how potato water taste like. I don't know I'm weird.

My front door creaked open and my heart immediately stopped. I stood there frozen. Until I heard footsteps and that's when I ran. I ran upstairs passing the front door, I didn't get to see whatever it was, face. "Alana!" The sound of Xavier's voice boomed throughout the house. They're here.

"get away from me!" I shout before running to my room and locking the door. I looked at my balcony, I can escape from there. But that's suicide. Probably a good idea though. That's one option. I hear loud footsteps come up to my room. For a moment it was quiet. Then a loud pound on the door scared me. I screamed. "Alana open the door!" Xavier yelled loudly. "Open the door you bitch!" Chris shouted. "Fuck off!" I yelled back.

The pounding grew louder and stronger, as if it was going to break my door any second. I didn't hesitate, I rushed to the balcony. I looked down, I did not want to jump into that thorny rose bush and i certainly did NOT want to land on the hard ground. I was trapped, I could climb down but with what? My hair? I ain't rapunzel.

Fuck it. I started climbing over when my door busted open, but I got on top of the railing. "Alana!" Liam's voice shouts as his arms wrap around me and pull me down. He drags me into my room. "Let me go! I want to die!" I pounded on Liam's arms and closed my eyes tight. I cried. Xavier was clearly going to do something bad to me. "I'm going to kill you Alana! How dare you touch one of my friends! You'll regret that!" I felt Liam being shoved away as Xavier's arms grab hold of me.

"Let me go!" I shouted and kicking. "No!" He shouted back. That's when I had enough. I was crying and I never cry infront of my bullies, that shows weakness. I was mad, frustrated, depressed, fucked up, to the point where I just can't take it anymore! "I SAID LET ME GO!" I said with power as I aggressively shoved Xavier off of me causing him to fall. "ENOUGH! I am done with this! If you want to kill me! Kill me! I was clearly going to do it anyway until one of you pulled me down! Who's it to you to chose wether I want to die! It's bad enough that I'm lonely here and I've got no one to back me up while YOU BOYS bully me! You guys are a coward." I said backing away, furious tears stinging my eyes. "I've already had a shitty life! Why are you making it so much harder for me to live through it!" I began pacing around the room as they stood there, mad and furiously looking at me. But doing nothing.

"You guys have taken things away from me far too long! I'm taking it back no matter what it takes." I said clutching onto my shoulder. It hurt because of the way Xavier had his hands death grip my shoulder. "And what have we taken away from you!" Tanner shouted. "Me being able to have friends! Me being able to live freely without any of you beating me to a pulp. Me being able to live in my house! SAFELY! I hate you so much! And I will NEVER forgive you! Fuck you! Fuck all of you! I'm ending this!" I shot back, and pushed past them, I ran downstairs towards the cabinet drawer. Fuck this I hate it. I'm not entirely sure if this is the best idea but...it's better than what I'm living with now.

I grabbed the biggest, sharpest, knife. And without a second thought...I plunged it into my stomach. I let out a scream and my hands were shaking. They came down the stairs and saw me. I wanted them to leave me here to die, but I also wanted them to save me.

My eyes began getting into a blur, as I drop to the floor, and they rushed to me.

Moments later, I could see Liam over me, I felt his hands touch me. Until paramedics arrived and I was rushed to the hospital.

*Xaviers POV*

After we ran down the stairs, and saw Alana with the knife in her, I watched as they rush towards her. I left. I got into my car and drove away. I don't know what it was in me that did this shit in the first place.

I frustratingly hit my steering wheel. I hate this bullying thing. My dad beats me at home, and I inherited that violence I guess. Then I saw Alana enter the school, I don't know what it was about her, but she was something I couldn't describe. Oh that's right! She reminded me of my bully. I used to live somewhere else, I was always the quiet guy, a regular boy teenager, not the best grades but I was really quiet. Then these boys started bullying me because I was smaller than them. They would hit me and call me names. Then one of them had their sister come into the school. She looked nice until she, too, was one of them. She'd laugh at me. And hit me sometimes. When her brother isn't around she'd flirt with me, ten I would push her away, she would slap me in the face and tell her brother some excuse, and then they'd beat me up all over again.

I don't know why I thought Alana was her. When she laughed at me, that triggered something in me, I watched as she was so much like my bully's sister, but so much not like her. The way Alana would talk, she was so independent. I didn't know she was independent at home too... It was then two weeks ago did I realize how strong she was, and what a horrible person I am.

And I now know why I left...because I couldn't bare watch the one I love most, die.

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