Her Crescent - A Padawan Fanfiction

Chapter 22- The Funeral

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TW: Death/Mentions of Death

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With a hiss of the door, Saiph could see inside the room. Master Yoda was sitting on one of the round futon with the red covering. He had his eyes closed and his legs were crossed, hands in a delicate position as if they were balanced. The blinds were not completely shut, but just enough that it was dark yet some light could peek through so that you were able to discern the faces of others in the room if need be.

"Padawan Carian." Master Yoda said calmly, "Felt you, I did."

"So did I with you." Saiph responded, she quietly made her way to the futon opposite of the Grand Master. She then decided to figure out exactly what the deal was.

"You asked me to see you earlier?"

Master Yoda hummed, "I did..." he squeezed his closed eyes and Saiph observed the old man.

"Doubt."

Saiph froze.

"Regret."

She put up her mental barrier before it would be— -too late.

"And... pain. Much there is of that." Master Yoda slowly opened his eyes, the wisdom of his years held within. He looked at Saiph, she was holding very tightly onto her robes. Which she was not earlier.

Master Yoda then directed his eyes to her hands, they were clenched, with the skin turning a paler cream. When he looked up, their eyes met for a split second.

"Difficult it is to relax padawan, but you must try."

Saiph sighed and
"With all due respect Master Yoda" Saiph paused, "What did you truly want to see me for?"

There was a brief moment of silence, it was almost possible to hear the business of the public, outside the temple walls.

"Dead, Obi Wan is. A new master you will need."

Saiph nodded slowly, she knew it would have happened sooner or later, even if she wasn't exactly ready for the decision.

"Who will it be, master?"

"I, it will be."

Saiph's eyes widened, "I beg your pardon, Master?"
The grandmaster sat silently, with a very faint smile on his face.

"Truly?" Saiph asked again, she was surprised, but not ungrateful in the least. And when he nodded, she felt her heart feel a little less heavy.

Why do you feel relief about it? Was your previous master not enough???

"Questions you may have, young Padawan?" Yoda spoke, interrupting her inner thoughts.

Saiph shook her head. "No master."

Master Yoda nodded in return and relaxed his posture into another state of meditation, closing his eyes. Saiph knew this was her cue to depart and bowed to the grandmaster before walking out of the room. She had to get ready for the burial.

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The room was dim, with only the light from the walls shedding their rays on the reason the group of various Jedi and friends were there. Obi Wan's casket was in the center of a scattered circle. The words of mourning and grief had been already spoken, along with the speech of moving on from the elders. Saiph knew what they meant, the tone of their voices through the muddled sound was enough to tell her how they felt. They were upset, which was true to say the least, everyone cared of Master Kenobi. He was a good Jedi knight, master, teacher and a friend. She looked across from herself and saw Padmé Amidala with the Duchess Satine, who was in tears. Anakin was alone though, at the foot of where the casket once was, his face shrouded by his cloak.

Saiph's eyes would've threatened to spill over like the Duchess' if her mind was not occupied with her thoughts though.

I haven't done enough.

She could see Padmé whisper to Ahsoka quietly while taking a moment to glance at her. She knew everyone was thinking about her, perhaps even pitying her. As soon as the floor slid shut over the casket, Saiph took a moment and breathe. It was over. Her master was buried now it was time for her to continue on. That's how it should be.

However, she could not shake the feeling that it was not done with yet. Something was irking her.

It's not done. You are not done yet.

Saiph quickly bowed to the others in the room and left, as she passed Anakin, she saw his face more clearly for a moment. Anger pulsated through his facial features, with his jaws clenched shut. But he was silent, as to not be disturbed.

But, Saiph paused and said quietly, "I'm so sorry Master Skywalker for your loss. He meant a lot to you..."

Anakin didn't say anything but turned his head slightly and bowed, acknowledging Saiph's words of consolation.

She didn't know why it felt the way it did, when she left the room. She felt as if she had a hole in her stomach all the way to her chest, as if spiders would crawl through and create webs. Or maybe a better way to describe it would be to say it was like she had taken too big of a breathe of frigid air, or invisible cold fists, beating her lungs empty. Either way, it wouldn't stood her from continuing on towards the one place where she would be able to occupy her mind, the training room.

She tried to get in her extra practices wherever she was, usually with her master, however- that wouldn't be the case anymore.

Because of you.

Saiph didn't dwell on the thought, just letting it slip by and watch from behind her shoulder like the rest. Taking a small breathe, she came to the doors of the training room, and they opened. The room was empty, it was clean- well it always was, with it being tended to after any session.

Saiph slipped off her boots before stepping down the steps to the main floor. She slipped off her outer garments, leaving her in her tank top and leggings that were underneath. She went to grab some hand wraps.

"Just something to get my mind off of it all..."

You're avoiding your guilt.

"That's all..." she muttered, wrapping the white cloth around her wrists and hands, burning the knuckles that would definitely be bruised by the end of today.

She now stood in front of a punching bag.

Pathetic excuse for you- the padawan of THE Obi Wan Kenobi! You couldn't even do your task correctly, look where that left you, not to mention he-

"That's enough!" Saiph cried out, throwing a punch subconsciously to the bag in front of her. The impact of her fist made a hard sound, making it sway.

She looked at her hands, then at the bag. She'd show them. That would be her promise, she would be strong enough next time. She had to.

Next time.

If there would be one...